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Porn Pet Peeves
Posted: 2004-05-06 08:25pm
by THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Ever Since I first watched a porn movie there are always things that bothered me about them. What are some pet peeves that bug you when watching porn??
Mine:
-Blow Job scenes that go on too long.
-Pans to the "guys" face. (distracting and off putting)
-Hearing the "guy" orgasm grunts.
-Hot porno chick licking HMA. (whose turned on by that?)
-Staged scenes, orgasms, and cheesy porn music.
-Spitting. Can't some of these girls cum??
Well that's all I have...
Posted: 2004-05-06 08:30pm
by Anarchist Bunny
Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
Posted: 2004-05-06 08:35pm
by THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Anarchist Bunny wrote:Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
Agreed, that also bothers me, but if it's a lesbian porn it bothers me a little less.
Posted: 2004-05-06 08:35pm
by Straha
I hate the fact that every female in the industry is shaved bald... Seriously...
I HATE IT SO MUCH!
Posted: 2004-05-06 08:46pm
by haas mark
Bukkake. I hate it.
Posted: 2004-05-06 09:34pm
by aerius
Bad camera angles. 90% or more of what pisses me off about porn is covered by this. I don't want extreme closeups, I don't need to see a guy's hairy ass & balls when some chick's giving him a blowjob, nor do I need to see a dick pumping into a hole & nothing else.
Other than that I'm not a big fan of blowjobs, and when I can see the outline of some chick's implants in her breasts that turns me off.
What I want, give me full body shots and show me as much of the girl and as little of the guy as you can. And give me my lesbian porn!
Posted: 2004-05-06 09:36pm
by MKSheppard
aerius wrote:And give me my lesbian porn!
*Neighs excitedly*
Posted: 2004-05-06 09:51pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:Anarchist Bunny wrote:Titties that are painfully obviously fake. Who the fuck is turned on by that.
Agreed, that also bothers me, but if it's a lesbian porn it bothers me a little less.
Thirded! WTF!? Not every guy on this planet is appreciative of huge breasts!! In fact, some guys like _SMALL_ breasts! Worst: Implants. Why girls choose to destroy their aesthetic lines and curves with these unnatural round implements I have no fucking clue! They're fucking dense!
Bad Camera Work: Film the whole damn scene, not twenty minutes of nothing but bouncing breasts or 1 going into 0! I wanna see all of both (or all three, four, five, etc) participants in their glory
Cheesy music: If you can't find decent music to put on your porno, DON'T PUT ANY FUCKING MUSIC ON THERE AT ALL, FUCKTARD!!! And FFS, turn down the music volume when you do, I wanna hear the moaning and humping!
Fugly Guys: Outta the Porn Biz Already, Ron Jeremy. Gimme some nice looking guys to fap at.
Pixelated Masks over the Fun Bits: THAT DEFEATS THE WHOLE FUCKING PURPOSE OF MY DOWNLOAD^H^H^H^H^H^H^H^HGETTING THE DAMN PORN MOVIE IN THE FIRST FUCKING PLACE!!! Some country in Asia (I think it's Japan) has the STUPIDEST censorship law I've ever seen, and that's where the pixelation comes from! I want that damn thing repealed and the prudish politician who proposed it curbstomped (but since curbstomping is out of the question I'll settle for its repeal and all porn with the pixelation remastered)!
Raincoater Sicko Shit: I like sex for pleasure. I don't like sex for dominance, pain, torture, humiliation, or all that other warped destructive bullshit. Therefore, I would like my porn to reflect that
Everything else
has been summed up quite nicely here.
Posted: 2004-05-06 09:57pm
by Ubiquitous
I watched a porno a few months ago where this guy was fucking this womans mouth, big time. She was oozing blood and was clearly in a lot of discomfort.
Who the fuck wants to watch this shit?! Didn't turn me on at all, just made me cringe. YUCK!
Posted: 2004-05-06 10:47pm
by Tasoth
Cumshots. The last thing I need to see is some guy give a cute pornstar a whitewashing. The fact that they always get a shot iof the male pornstar's face pisses me off.
Posted: 2004-05-06 10:48pm
by RogueIce
Cum shots.
I mean really, what's the point?
Everything else has already been said here. Seeing a closeup of the guy's hairly balls defeats the purpose.
Posted: 2004-05-06 10:53pm
by RedImperator
Hideous guys who are obvious dickheads. I'm not a fan of the men in the first place, but I don't want to be watching a porno thinking, "Here's a total dillhole with a face like a pig's asshole banging an incredibly hot chick while I pay to watch. By myself." If I'm not watching lesbians, at least have a guy who I don't want to punch in the face every time I see him.
Posted: 2004-05-06 10:58pm
by Tasoth
Just realized another. A guy who's monstrously huge banging a tiny chick so that his dick starts to bend in half. That hurts me to watch.
Posted: 2004-05-06 11:22pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
Meh, I like cumshots (except the damn bukkake crap). I also like cumshots when a girl jills off too (female ejaculation)
Rimjobs
Posted: 2004-05-06 11:38pm
by Aaron
Rimjobs
Posted: 2004-05-06 11:46pm
by Stofsk
I like cumshots, but I've never seen bukkake. What's the difference?
Oh, and rimjobs are just... weird. I suppose that's my porn-peeve.
Posted: 2004-05-07 12:46am
by THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Stofsk wrote:I like cumshots, but I've never seen bukkake. What's the difference?
Oh, and rimjobs are just... weird. I suppose that's my porn-peeve.
Bukkake, is a much more extreme cumshot.
Posted: 2004-05-07 12:50am
by THEHOOLIGANJEDI
Tasoth wrote:Just realized another. A guy who's monstrously huge banging a tiny chick so that his dick starts to bend in half. That hurts me to watch.
It kinda bothers me seeing a huge guy bang broads who can't take it. I equally dislike seeing guy with the total opposite bang a hot chick. I seen dudes with 2 inch hard-on I start laughing out loud.
But the men in porn bother me in General which is why I prefer Lesbian Porn.
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:13am
by kojikun
I dislike boring porn. o.o
lol
I'm picky. I don't have major peeves, it's usually on a porn-by-porn basis.
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:00am
by General Zod
amateur porn where every single couple or actress, regardless of whom, does the exact same thing. i can think of a webcam site as an example. it gets fucking boring watching chicks do the exact same thing in every porno regardless of the chick. i watch different porn for variety, not so i can see the same thing every time.
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:04am
by Tsyroc
- ass and back zits
- razor burn and/or stubble (in the pubic area. It's just distracting <painful looking> and unapealling. Either do it right or keep the hair).
- bad dye or bleach jobs, especially the bleach jobs.
- the obligatory cumshot to the face
- cumshots in general
- painful looking silicon implants
- unenthusiastic "actresses" or actresses that aren't convincing during sex.
- Glassy-eye drugged out performers <cough>TracyLords<cough>. It's just creepy and depressing.
- I could do without the super zoom crotch cam. I don't need to be able to see the pores on the actor's skin and I don't want to see the camera zoom so far up someone's crotch that I can see their brain stem. No from behind under the ball sack shots.
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:07am
by Lord Pounder
The guy talking during porn. "Yeah! Ride/suck my dick" We see what she's doing dude leave it at that.
That guy Omar bothers me. A woman is not supposed to cry during porn, sex should be fun not painful.
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:11am
by Col. Crackpot
35 year old 'teens'. you're not fooling anyone lady!
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:13am
by Tsyroc
Col. Crackpot wrote:35 year old 'teens'. you're not fooling anyone lady!
But she's wearing....okay...was wearing a school girl outfit and she has her hair up in pig tails.
Re: Porn Pet Peeves
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:28pm
by Korvan
THEHOOLIGANJEDI wrote:-Hot porno chick licking HMA. (whose turned on by that?)
Quick question, just what does HMA stand for? The only that comes to me is "Her Majesty's Ass". but I'm pretty sure that the Queen doesn't do porno.
As for my peeves, closeups that go on too long (anything over a couple secs), any sort of open sore. The worst I've seen is a guy whose used to have his dick pierced, but had it removed (the piercing, not the dick) and you can see a whole going through the head.