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Encouraging Troy review
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:12am
by Vympel
Link
My favorite part of the review:
A war film needs battles, and Troy has nearly a dozen of them, employing arrows, spears, great balls of fire rolling down a slope to crush the enemy. The beach blitz has Achilles and his Myrmidons capturing the territory for Agamemnon in an Omaha Beach ? like assault (Saving Priam's Rival). But thousands fighting thousands is war; man fighting man is drama. Troy boasts plenty of good old Hellenic fist power. Paris vs. Menelaus, Hector vs. Ajax the Great, Achilles vs. Hector ? it's a dream card at Madison Square Garden, and the movie choreographs each set-to with burly ingenuity. This is The Iliad as a WWE SmackDown: violent fights, snappy insults and a connoisseur's idolatry of beautiful brawn. (Who knew Greece had so many blonds?) When Paris cringes from Menelaus and hugs Hector's sturdy leg, it's as if he thinks he can turn a one-on-one brawl into a tag-team match
and
Bloom is so winsome as Paris that he almost makes the cowardly girly-man a teen idol.
Yes! Paris
is a pussy coward!
(unfortunately, the cast list from IMDB does not include Philoctetes- so who's going to kill him?)
Re: Encouraging Troy review
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:32am
by Ghost Rider
Vympel wrote:
My favorite part of the review:
A war film needs battles, and Troy has nearly a dozen of them, employing arrows, spears, great balls of fire rolling down a slope to crush the enemy. The beach blitz has Achilles and his Myrmidons capturing the territory for Agamemnon in an Omaha Beach ? like assault (Saving Priam's Rival). But thousands fighting thousands is war; man fighting man is drama. Troy boasts plenty of good old Hellenic fist power. Paris vs. Menelaus, Hector vs. Ajax the Great, Achilles vs. Hector ? it's a dream card at Madison Square Garden, and the movie choreographs each set-to with burly ingenuity. This is The Iliad as a WWE SmackDown: violent fights, snappy insults and a connoisseur's idolatry of beautiful brawn. (Who knew Greece had so many blonds?) When Paris cringes from Menelaus and hugs Hector's sturdy leg, it's as if he thinks he can turn a one-on-one brawl into a tag-team match
Kick ass
Bloom is so winsome as Paris that he almost makes the cowardly girly-man a teen idol.
Yes! Paris
is a pussy coward!
BOOYAH!!!!
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:35am
by Joe
I just saw a clip of one of the Achilles/Hector fights from the film on Conan. Very cool.
Posted: 2004-05-07 01:38am
by Gandalf
I'm planning to go see it opening night.
Posted: 2004-05-07 04:53am
by Admiral Valdemar
I shall see this once I get around to seeing Van Helsing, The Punisher and Eternal Happiness Of The Spotless Mind.
Damn, why do so many good films come out all at fucking once nearly?
Posted: 2004-05-07 05:01am
by Peregrin Toker
All it needs now is a soundtrack by Manowar.
Posted: 2004-05-07 08:12am
by Crown
Gandalf wrote:I'm planning to go see it opening night.
If you do that, you will end up seeing it a full 40 hours (at least) than the yanks on this board!
Posted: 2004-05-07 08:30am
by Tsyroc
Crown wrote:Gandalf wrote:I'm planning to go see it opening night.
If you do that, you will end up seeing it a full 40 hours (at least) than the yanks on this board!
We need to do something about that international date line.
Posted: 2004-05-07 08:35am
by Crown
Tsyroc wrote:Crown wrote:Gandalf wrote:I'm planning to go see it opening night.
If you do that, you will end up seeing it a full 40 hours (at least) than the yanks on this board!
We need to do something about that international date line.
Oh don't start bitchin' now, it's not as if we don't usually get things weeks/months after you (Kill Bill Vol 1 for example we got like 2 months after you!).
Posted: 2004-05-07 09:05am
by Col. Crackpot
Peregrin Toker wrote:All it needs now is a soundtrack by Manowar.
because heavy metal was so popular at the time of the Trojan War.
Posted: 2004-05-07 09:14am
by Admiral Valdemar
They ruined Resident Evil with shit music. I'm not letting them ruin Troy also.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC, BITCHES!
Hans Zimmer was born to do these types of film.
Posted: 2004-05-07 09:29am
by Col. Crackpot
Admiral Valdemar wrote:They ruined Resident Evil with shit music. I'm not letting them ruin Troy also.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC, BITCHES!
Hans Zimmer was born to do these types of film.
they didn't have that then either. they should have harps or lyres or whatever the fuck Helen listened to.
Posted: 2004-05-07 09:32am
by Admiral Valdemar
Col. Crackpot wrote:Admiral Valdemar wrote:They ruined Resident Evil with shit music. I'm not letting them ruin Troy also.
ORCHESTRAL MUSIC, BITCHES!
Hans Zimmer was born to do these types of film.
they didn't have that then either. they should have harps or lyres or whatever the fuck Helen listened to.
You're wrong!
Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong...
Posted: 2004-05-07 09:34am
by BoredShirtless
Col. Crackpot wrote:they didn't have that then either. they should have harps or lyres or whatever the fuck Helen listened to.
You want harps for battle scenes?
Posted: 2004-05-07 11:29am
by Tsyroc
Crown wrote:
Oh don't start bitchin' now, it's not as if we don't usually get things weeks/months after you (Kill Bill Vol 1 for example we got like 2 months after you!).
Yes, but we're America. We want it all and we want it all first.
Posted: 2004-05-08 03:25am
by Peregrin Toker
Col. Crackpot wrote:Peregrin Toker wrote:All it needs now is a soundtrack by Manowar.
because heavy metal was so popular at the time of the Trojan War.
It was an in-joke.
In any case, since you didn't get it, the point is that Manowar's longest song,
Achilles, is almost half an hour long and is about the Trojan War.
To be honest I don't think it would make a good soundtrack for
anything.
Posted: 2004-05-08 03:37am
by Sriad
Admiral Valdemar wrote:I shall see this once I get around to seeing Van Helsing, The Punisher and Eternal Happiness Of The Spotless Mind.
Damn, why do so many good films come out all at fucking once nearly?
But it's a good kinda problem to have.
I was cautious about Troy, but Brad Pitt's track record is pretty near 100%, and that review has me feeling increasingly optimistic. I'll prolly see it as soon as I'm able, which might be opening night. Can't recall.
Anyone else think it would be really funny if they got the same cast for an adaptation of Illium?
Posted: 2004-05-08 02:13pm
by Tzeentch
That review made me indescribably happy. I have faith that Troy will be awesome, but sometimes its a bit hard to retain confidence.
When I saw the teaser with the ridiculous number of triremes, I was sure it would be cool.
Then my friend's mythology professor passed on a truly distressing rumor about the director taking license with the plot, and I was sad.
he claimed that they were going to have Briseis kill Agamemnon for closure so that they could just cut Clytemnestra entirely
But this review is reassuring.