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Moron loses Stradivarius cello
Posted: 2004-05-19 03:31am
by haas mark
Reuters wrote:Stolen Stradivarius Cello Found Damaged in L.A.
By Gina Keating
LOS ANGELES (Reuters) - A Los Angeles nurse found a stolen $3.5 million Stradivarius cello next to a dumpster and was going to have it turned into a CD cabinet until she learned it was an instrument the whole town was searching for, officials said on Tuesday
The "General Kyd" cello, made in 1684 and named for the man who brought it to England, suffered only minor damage and will be returned to the musician who lost it three weeks ago after forgetting it on his front porch, Los Angeles Philharmonic Association officials said.
The cello was stolen from the porch of the Philharmonic's principal cellist Peter Stumpf by a thief riding a bicycle, police said. Three days later, nurse Melanie Stevens found it beside a dumpster about a mile from Stumpf's home on her way to visit a patient.
Stevens, 30, turned the cello over to police last weekend after seeing a TV news report about the theft -- the first in the Los Angeles Philharmonic's history, police said.
"Last night, the Los Angeles Philharmonic was reunited with a member of its family, our great General Kyd Stradivarius," Philharmonic president Deborah Borda said at a Tuesday news conference at Walt Disney Hall. "When I announced this to the orchestra there was an enormous cheer that went up."
Stumpf said General Kyd's return made him "probably the happiest man in Los Angeles today."
"I'm just incredibly relieved the cello has been found. It's been an enormous weight on me for the last three weeks," he said. Stumpf, the orchestra's tenured cellist, will continue playing General Kyd as soon as it is repaired, Borda said.
The cello was returned with cracks that string repair technician Robert Cauer called "routine."
Cauer, who has worked on the cello for 20 years and helped identify it at the police station, said the instrument would be restored to health by October.
"There's no reason it can't be restored to the way it was," Cauer said. "The sound will be as good as before."
Stevens remains eligible for the $50,000 reward offered by the Philharmonic but LAPD Assistant Chief Jim McDonnell warned that the "case is by no means solved."
After rescuing the cello from the garbage heap, Stevens took it home and asked her cabinetmaker boyfriend, Igal Asseraf, to fix it or hinge the top to turn it into a CD case, her attorney Ronald Hoffman said.
"We are very lucky that Igal was not a person that works real quickly," Hoffman said.
My response:
Oh. My. Fucking. God. Someone
'forgot' a fucking STRADIVARIUS on their FRONT PORCH??? -slaps the cellist-
Though I'm quite pissed that someone would damage such a wonderful instrument, I'm more pissed off that someone in such a presitigious orchestra would 'forget' their instrument - much less a STRAD!! - on their fucking front porch.
And 'restored' to the way it was? NEVER!! They can't repair the stains that Stradivarius used on his instrument (if this is a genuine Strad) because they don't know exactly what he used to stain the instruments he made. The sound will *never* be the same.
Fucktard.
Posted: 2004-05-19 04:51am
by jenat-lai
It was on his own front porch yes?
Better than loosing it on the Train. he lost it on his own property and it was duly stolen from it. "Stolen" is a more correct term at this time.
Posted: 2004-05-19 04:52am
by haas mark
jenat-lai wrote:It was on his own front porch yes?
Better than loosing it on the Train. he lost it on his own property and it was duly stolen from it. "Stolen" is a more correct term at this time.
Either way, this person's an idiot for FORGETTING it. A STRAD.
Sorry, I guess I just have more sensitivity to the string instruments than a person should.
Posted: 2004-05-19 05:05am
by Frank Hipper
I'm more horrified by the fact that woman almost turned it into a CD case!*shudders*
Posted: 2004-05-19 05:08am
by Stofsk
Sorry Ver, but this entire episode has me giggling like a schoolgirl. Fucking hell, I just have this bizarre image of a bicycle thief prowling a neighbourhood looking for things to swipe, and somehow he spies a lone cello that screams out "Take me! TAKE ME! I don't belong here!" So he grabs it and rides off.
The fool probably couldn't even play the cello. Imagine that, a thief who steals a cello, and can't even play it! He probably thought it was a violin.
"Oh shit, I stole a
fucking cello - god
damnit! I can't fucking play the cello! I can only fucking play fucking
violins! And who the hell is this Stradivarius fucker? Fuck this shit man, I'm stepping off." *throws useless junk into dumpster, probably not realising how much it was worth.*
And that nurse...
A Los Angeles nurse found a stolen $3.5 million Stradivarius cello next to a dumpster and was going to have it turned into a CD cabinet until she learned it was an instrument the whole town was searching for...
Posted: 2004-05-19 06:52am
by Vympel
If the article lists the damage as minor, then I doubt the way it plays was affected.
Posted: 2004-05-19 07:45am
by Ghost Rider
Oh yeah...pain starting.
How the fuck do you forget........wait I don't wanna know.
Posted: 2004-05-19 07:58am
by Admiral Valdemar
Oh look, I forgot my $3.5M in cash clearly visible on the front porch. I hope no one thinks of nicking it.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:26am
by Zaia
1. If you leave a Strad on your front porch, you're basically asking for someone to come by and nick it.
2. I am mildly surprised that said someone happened to be riding a bike, but hey, whatev.
3. Turning a cello--any cello--into a CD cabinet--GAH!!!!!!
4. Turning a Strad into a CD cabinet?!
GAH!!!!!!!
5.
WHO THE FUCK STEALS A STRAD AND THEN LEAVES IT BY A DUMPSTER?!?!
6. Yeah, ver's right, it'll never be the same. You can get rid of the physical damage, but the sound will never be quite the same again. Not only do they not know what exactly he used to stain his instruments, but the stain also ages. No matter what, it'll never sound the way it did before he
FUCKING FORGOT IT ON HIS GODDAMN STUPID PORCH!!!
7. Gah! Just
.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:27am
by Admiral Valdemar
I sense much anger in Zaia-chan.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:29am
by Ghost Rider
Admiral Valdemar wrote:I sense much anger in Zaia-chan.
Nah...she's just minorly miffed.
Though her sixth point was a good one...the instrument is beyond a certain point of repair.
And well the fifth speaks for itself.
Better go get that aspirin.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:30am
by Admiral Valdemar
Pfft, just ask Strad to make some more.
Problem solved.
Do I have to think of everything around here?
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:33am
by Zaia
Admiral Valdemar wrote:Pfft, just ask Strad to make some more.
Problem solved.
Do I have to think of everything around here?
You're cute.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:35am
by Admiral Valdemar
Shucks, now I'm blushing and the guy next to me is looking at me in an odd way. A very odd way...
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:36am
by Ghost Rider
Admiral Valdemar wrote:Shucks, now I'm blushing and the guy next to me is looking at me in an odd way. A very odd way...
You bad boy, you...I'm going to have verilon paddle you.
Posted: 2004-05-19 08:40am
by Admiral Valdemar
Ghost Rider wrote:Admiral Valdemar wrote:Shucks, now I'm blushing and the guy next to me is looking at me in an odd way. A very odd way...
You bad boy, you...I'm going to have verilon paddle you.
NOOOO! Because I may enjoy it!
*Runs*
Posted: 2004-05-19 09:19am
by Stofsk
Nobody else... uh, finds this... humourous? Not even a little?
Posted: 2004-05-19 10:42am
by Mr Bean
Stofsk wrote:Nobody else... uh, finds this... humourous? Not even a little?
I'm laughing like crazy but only on the inside
Posted: 2004-05-19 10:54am
by Sir Sirius
I wonder how much you could get for "The most expensive CD-case ever, handcrafted from a genuine Stradivarius cello!" on E-bay?
Posted: 2004-05-19 11:51am
by General Zod
Sir Sirius wrote:I wonder how much you could get for "The most expensive CD-case ever, handcrafted from a genuine Stradivarius cello!" on E-bay?
it would likely be dismissed as a hoax. i hope someone bitchslaps the moron that
forgot such an expensive instrument on his front porch and let it get stolen. It's one thing if it's stolen from your house but to leave such an expensive piece of art practically lying out on the fucking lawn? jesus fucking christ on a jackhammer. . .
Posted: 2004-05-19 12:00pm
by The Kernel
Zaia wrote:WHO THE FUCK STEALS A STRAD AND THEN LEAVES IT BY A DUMPSTER
I imagine the theif found out what it was and then decided to dump it. It's not like you can sell something like that, so he probably figured it was better to just get rid of it.
Posted: 2004-05-19 12:00pm
by Zaia
Stofsk wrote:Nobody else... uh, finds this... humourous? Not even a little?
A bit, yes. *reluctant smile* BUT WHAT AN IDIOT!!!!!! *grumbles again*
Posted: 2004-05-19 12:07pm
by Zaia
The Kernel wrote:Zaia wrote:WHO THE FUCK STEALS A STRAD AND THEN LEAVES IT BY A DUMPSTER
I imagine the theif found out what it was and then decided to dump it. It's not like you can sell something like that, so he probably figured it was better to just get rid of it.
Why couldn't it be sold? If there's a way to buy famous artwork underground, there's got to be a way to buy a stolen Strad cello.
You honestly think that person knew it was worth $3.5 mil when they left it by the dumpster? People, particularly thieves, are too greedy for that, in my opinion. I think if the thief knew it was worth that much, he/she/it would've held onto it for a lot longer to ensure that all potential selling venues had been exhausted before merely
thinking about letting it go.
Posted: 2004-05-19 12:08pm
by Montcalm
What kind of dumbass let another dumbass go home with a $3.500.000 dollar strad?
Unless the second dumbass onw the strad,then forget first line
Posted: 2004-05-19 12:11pm
by General Zod
Zaia wrote:The Kernel wrote:Zaia wrote:WHO THE FUCK STEALS A STRAD AND THEN LEAVES IT BY A DUMPSTER
I imagine the theif found out what it was and then decided to dump it. It's not like you can sell something like that, so he probably figured it was better to just get rid of it.
Why couldn't it be sold? If there's a way to buy famous artwork underground, there's got to be a way to buy a stolen Strad cello.
it's possible the thief didn't know who to contact to sell it to. It's unlikely your run of the mil street thug is going to have the connections needed to hock something as hot as a stradovarius and get what it's worth out of it.