StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Today I saw a crow peck another in the butt. A moment later they were staring at each other for a moment, then just went about their business.

I tripped over my shoelaces today. That really wasn't that funny though.

I've seen a few funny advertising signs that the letters were rearranged.

One said, "Slut Cuts $20" instead of "Adult Cuts $20" (for a hair salon)

Another said "Penis Testing" instead of "Emission testing"

Also saw a sign saying "Spaces available for Assdiving Lessons". I do not know what the sign said originally.

Also when I delivered letters to this one particular business, they had a sign on the door saying, "Please remove rubbers before entering." At first I thought they meant condoms but after a couple of seconds of pondering I figured that they must've meant those rubber covers on your shoes to prevent snow from touching it.

My wife made a salad with slices of ham. She then set it on the table and went back into the kitchen. When she came back, the cat was eating the ham out of the salad.

I was already in the school where the SATs were being taken. The entrance into the building was open but the next set of doors inside the were still closed awaited by perhaps 40 students squeezed in. It looked like a tank of trapped fish impatienlty trying to get in. The security guard soon told me to go back into the auditorium where I came from but the site was just hilarious.

My house got possesed today. I put a bowl in the sink and walked over to the couch to watch tv. I went back to the kitchen for some juice a minute later and the bowl is filled with water. Then I sat down and heard a wierd noise, like their were people upstairs. Took me a fucking hour to realize it was the couch creaking.

A storm swiftly rolled over my area today. While I was outside....practically above me, lightning cracked and scared the shit out of me. Needless to say, I quickly went indoors.

I found some old bread that had some mold on it that I just realized existed after I took it out of the bag.

It's also kind of funny that this day has been so unproductive for me. I have finals starting on Tuesday, yet I haven't touched my textbooks.

aten_vs_ra wrote:My house got possesed today. I put a bowl in the sink and walked over to the couch to watch tv. I went back to the kitchen for some juice a minute later and the bowl is filled with water. Then I sat down and heard a wierd noise, like their were people upstairs. Took me a fucking hour to realize it was the couch creaking.

So what about the bowl and the water?

I saw a clinic with a sign outside "Chiropody Speech Center"

Keevan_Colton wrote:I saw a clinic with a sign outside "Chiropody Speech Center"

They make feet talk?

Rye wrote:

Keevan_Colton wrote:I saw a clinic with a sign outside "Chiropody Speech Center"

They make feet talk?

It might be a therapy centre for those that are forever sticking their foot in thier mouth. I'm sure we could find some people here to refer to them

I went to sit in my chair, and my kitten tried to, and i told her no and pushed her away, then when I sat down , I heard a squeak...

Someone actually changed the exit sigh of Crown Butte to Clown Butt... heh

One of the persons I met today is the biggest bullshitter I have seen in my life.

I got back from a weeks vacation yesterday. While I was gone it turns out my stepdad borrowed my car for one quick trip. He got side swiped by some moron on a highway ramp. This was on his birthday. When he was at the autobody shop it turns out that it was the repair guys birthday too.

My kitten pawing at the computer screen. This was funny until he stayed tin front of there for five minutes.

I realised that people are ir-redeemably sad, a queue of at least 40 people formed outside of work. On a lovely day, on a sunday. Can't these people go for walks or have sex or just do something that doesn't involve bugging the shit out of me?

I was in the car with my mom when she was cut off by a large truck with many Nascar stickers on it. She doesn't typically like fanatical racing fans very much. When she was cussing him out semi- to herself, she said the word "Nascar". I thought she said "asscar", and advised her to get some help with her cuss word vocabulary.

Not so much funny as poetic irony. On my way into town, some bastard nearly sideswiped me when trying to get from the lane on my right to the lane on my left. A second later, the lane he worked so hard to get into got jammed up, I couldn't help but wave at him in my rearview mirror, as he ended up about fifteen cars back.

Other than that, exiting the freeway, I saw a semi trying to exit onto a four-lane street. Being a semi, it was making a wide turn into the second lane. Well, some fuckwit in a compact decided to try and cut in beside it and take the closer lane at the same time the truck was taking the farther lane. What this genius failed to realize is that when a semi turns, the back of the semi makes a considerably tighter turn than the front of the semi. Needless to say, I had a very good laugh as three of the back wheels of the trailer ground across the shiny, clean hood of the expensive compact.

-Damien

My cat appropriating various cardboard boxes for her new temporary bed. I don't know why, but she loves sitting and lying in boxes, and she looks really goofy when she tries to cram herself into one that's far too small for her.

On my way to visit sunny, exotic Centerlink in Fortitude Valley this morning. Passed a tattoo parlour then noticed that the place right next door was a tattoo removal specialist. Dead convenient that.

Today I played a Specialists server and using kung fu only, pwned the entire server of gun users. I am teh bruce lee.


That aside, I am reminded of just how much fauna there is at this campus actually. We have a population of rabbits, even cute little baby ones, and saw a sea gull once. Now we even have ducks appear on the lawn.

I was on my way home from work today, and as usual I passed this big "Jesus Saves!" billboard with a big picture of Jesus on it, his arms spread in a gesture of peace. Today, though, I noticed something different: someone had taken a big piece of paper (probably posterboard), stuck it up next to Jesus, and wrote "SAVE ME JEEBUS!!" in a big word balloon on it. I couldn't help but laugh at that.

Shinova wrote:That aside, I am reminded of just how much fauna there is at this campus actually. We have a population of rabbits, even cute little baby ones, and saw a sea gull once. Now we even have ducks appear on the lawn.

My old school used to have cows. Thus I win.

A few months ago, I was riding the bus home from school when we rode over the long spit that separates most of my town from my school. As soon as we cleared the bridge, everyone on the bus crowded over to the left side to look at something. I looked. An old beat up pickup truck sat on the shoulder, smoke billowing from its hood as its driver frantically poured bucket after bucket of water on it.

But it was the second car that caught our attention. An old, beat-up Honda lay on the beach itself, apparently undamaged by what bumped it there, and the water lapped very close to its rear tires. A hippie in thick glasses paced frantically around the car.

Needless to say, the whole bus exploded in laughter. Even the grumpy driver.