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The yo momma joke thread
Posted: 2002-11-03 11:26am
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Anyone know those?
Like,
"Yo momma's so dumb she took a test and failed!", or "Yo momma's so fat her butt's been declared a hazardous waste site!"
Anyone got others?
Posted: 2002-11-03 11:33am
by haas mark
*sigh* Why even BOTHER!?
Posted: 2002-11-03 11:47am
by Vympel
Yo momma so fat, she got her own gravity well!
Posted: 2002-11-03 12:30pm
by Solid Snake
Stop raising dead threads, please..
Posted: 2002-11-03 01:53pm
by SAMAS
Yo Mama's so fat, she's on both sides of the family!
Yo Mama so dark, she got a part-time job as Midnight!
Yo Mama so old, she owes Jesus Money!
Yo Mama so skinny, her nipples touch!
Posted: 2002-11-03 06:04pm
by weemadando
Yo momma so poor that everytime I ring the doorbell I hear the toilet flush.
Posted: 2002-11-03 06:25pm
by Stravo
Yo mama's so black they mark her absent in Night School.
Yo mama's like a hardware store - 10Cents a screw.
Yo mama is like a door knob - everybody gets a turn.
Posted: 2002-11-03 07:01pm
by Kuja
Yo momma is so poor, her front and back doors are on the same hinge.
Yo momma's so fat, when she got lost, they put her face on a milk truck.
Yo momma's so fat, when she wore yellow, some guy ran up and yelled "TAXI!"
Posted: 2002-11-03 07:52pm
by jegs2
Yo momma's so fat it takes two people to talk about her
Yo momma's so dumb it takes her two hours to watch 60 Minutes
Posted: 2002-11-03 08:08pm
by Shinova
Yo momma's so fat that when she sat on a counter it said, "to be continued"
Posted: 2002-11-04 09:43am
by SAMAS
That's supposed to be a scale.
You Mama's like a shotgun. One cock, and she's ready to blow!
You Mama so strong, she can gargle peanut butter!
You Mama breath so bad, when she yawns her teeth duck!
You Mama so cross-eyed, if whe wants to blow her boyfriend, she has to aim for the dick next to his!
You Mama so Ugly, the Invisible Man doesn't want to bee seen with her!
You Mama smell so bad, she makes Right Guard turn left!
Posted: 2002-11-04 01:54pm
by jodathalas
Yo mama so fat when she cuts herself she bleeds gravy.
Posted: 2002-11-04 03:54pm
by irishmick79
yo mama so fat she's got three little women orbiting around her.
Posted: 2002-11-04 05:08pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Those are good ones.
Yo momma's so dumb, for her Lenten sacrifice, she burnt the family cat!
Yo momma's so fat and stupid that one day, she opes to be as thin and intellegent as Anna Nicole Smith!
Yo momma's so ugly the mirror runs away whenever she looks into it.
Yo momma's so smelly that she even chases the germs out of the house!
Yo momma's so poor, she had to sell the TV her house came in!
Yo momma's so bald, that the last time she wore a turtleneck, it looked like a broken !
Yo momma's so fat, when her first husband died in a donut truck crash, she held a funeral service, bou for the donuts!
Yo momma's so fat she got a job in "Raiders of the Lost Ark", as the boulder!
Yo momma's so dumb, she got lost while falling off the bed!
Yo momma's do fat, last time she did a cannonball, she started Hurricane Andrew!
Yo momma's like an old can of pop: Old, flat, and smelling funny!
Yo momma's so old and fat, when God said "Let ther be light", she told her to get out of the way!
Posted: 2002-11-04 06:31pm
by SAMAS
Yo Mama so fat, I told her to haul ass, and it took her two trips!
You Mama so fat, she went to the beach and the tide came in!
Yo Mama so dumb, she joined StarFleet! (Okay, that was wrong!)
Here's a few
Posted: 2002-11-04 09:17pm
by Sienthal
Yo momma so old, she went for a walk and the antique store tried to buy her!
Yo momma so ugly that *BLUEEEUGGGHHAARGHHH*
Yo momma so loose that when she opens her legs, the door slams shut!
Yo momma so loose that whenever she gets laid, the carpet gets cleaned!
Posted: 2002-11-05 12:44am
by Shinova
yo momma's so fat, that when she goes to work she don't need to walk or drive.
Posted: 2002-11-05 04:46pm
by Next of Kin
Yo Mama's So Fat....when she was diagnosed with the flesh eating disease
the doctor gave her 13 years to live.
Posted: 2002-11-05 04:55pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Yo momma's so fat that when she sits down, at least one person dies!
Yo momma's so fat, they use her for a hammock!
And, the nice yo momma joke!
Yo momma's so fat, dumb, and hairy that the only difference beteen her and a 5-ton ape is that the ape doesnt' have children as good as you!
Posted: 2002-11-05 05:30pm
by SAMAS
Now that's messed up...
Yo Mama so loose, she gives head because she's
thirsty!
Yo Mama so short, she needs a ladder to get down with her bad self!
Yo Mama got a wooden leg, talkin' about "hop up on the good foot!"
Yo Mama so Fat, I had to roll over twice to get off her ass!
Yo Mama so White, she bleeds milk!
You Mama so Dumb, she sat on a loaf of bread and thought she got a yeast infection!
You Mama teeth so yellow, she spits butter!
And to top it off,
Ya Mama by The Pharcyde:
Verse One: Booty Brown
Ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
Ya mama is so big and fat that she can get busy
with twenty-two burritos, but times are rough
I seen her in the back of Taco Bell with handcuffs
The sad fact (what?) ya mama smokes crack (what?)
She got a burning yearning and there's no turning back
Her knuckles drag down to the ground when she walk
Spit comes out that bitch mouth when she talk
Refrain:
Naked on a mountain top, tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse drinking whisky out a bizoot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that:
Ya mama got a glass eye with the fish in it (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Two: Slim Kid Tre
Ya mama look like she's been in the dryer with some rocks
With the big bust nose sucking dirt out of socks
Held up the ice cream truck with a slingshot
She grabbed a bag of Cheese Corn and a soda pop
Ya mama root'n'toot and stole my loot and my suit
She may have the muscles, but no, she's not cute
She's not pretty, oh what a pity, got the glass titty
Filled up with Kool-aid, just for the kiddies
Refrain:
On a cliff butt naked, tootin on a flute
Ridin on a horse drinkin whisky out a boot
She's got the teeth and the wings of an African bat
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that
Ya mama got the wooden legs with real feet (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Three: Fat Lip
Watch out, I'm thinkin about your mother to a funky beat
I went to your house, and she licked me on the cheek
I said excuse me lady, but I remember seeing you at the Palladium
way back in September
Cause you was beatboxin for Lou Rawls
In some bright red boxer drawers
You said ya moms was pretty and young
But she's old as dirt and got hair on her tongue
Refrain:
Ya moms, ya moms, she uses Brut
And I saw her ridin a horsey drinking whisky out a boot
She's got the wings and teeth of an african bat
Her middle name is Mudbone, and on top of all that
Ya mama's got a peg leg with a kickstand (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama
Verse Four: Imani
Awwwwwwww, ya mom is so fat (how fat is she?)
We rode up on her back to get some burgers from Wendy's
and her skates went flat; I got stuck in her butt crack
They thought I was lost but I was caught by the G-strap
Heaven forbid a giant fart would give way
Cause that would blow me round the world in a day
We drove into the drive-in and she didn't have to pay
because we dressed her up to look just like a Chevrolet
Refrain:
Naked on a mountain top tootin on a flizoot
Ridin on a horse, drinkin whisky out a bizoot
With the wings and the teeth of an african bat, ba-aa-aa-at
Her middle name is Mudbone and on top of all that
Ya mama's got an afro, with a chin strap (3X)
Ya mama, ya mama, ya mama