StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Posted: **2002-11-12 10:45pm**

On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...

12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.

I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...

Posted: **2002-11-12 10:49pm**

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...

12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...

Well its right up there with the "don't stage dive in a car into a crowd" warning on a Mazda/Mitsubishi (forget which) commercial.

Posted: **2002-11-12 10:53pm**

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...

12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...

I've seen condoms with "must be worn for maximum effectiveness" on them

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:00pm**

weemadando wrote:On a "Directions for use" in a packet of condoms...

12. Don't return used condoms to manufacturer through the mail.
I think that may even beat the "don't stop chain with hands or genitals"...

Nothing will ever top that warning for shear "well fucking duh" factor. Mind you that one comes close but not quite.

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:47pm**

Warning for an Air Conditioner:
"Please do not drop air conditioner(s) out windows"

Warning for a Hair Dryer:
"Do not use while sleeping"

And the classic
On bottom of juice carton:
"Do not tip upside down"

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:52pm**

Construction ladder.

Only place on a solid firm surface, ladder may slip if placed in mud, or manure.....

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:53pm**

Sometimes I wonder if the people who make these warnings write this stuff to make us think if there really is someone this stupid on Earth. But then I go to school, and I become enlightened to the truth.

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:56pm**

You ever think that maybe people put those warnings there just to fuck with us?

Posted: **2002-11-12 11:57pm**

Already entered as Global Conspiracy #372731 subsection AAC.

Posted: **2002-11-13 11:09am**

i think half the warnings placed on items are just to give people who write warning lables a good laugh and see what sort of possible return mail they might happen to get reflecting on how one of there "jokes" saved someones life

Posted: **2002-11-13 11:13am**

They are there because some dumbass did the act, and sued the company. Warnings like these help ease the liability of the company that makes the products.

My personal favorite is on batteries. If battery breaks open, do not eat contents.

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:06pm**

They have to put these warnings on s so someone doesn't sue because they put it up their nose and got thier friend pregnant.

What bout instructions on airpline packets of nuts? (Open packet, eat nuts)

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:08pm**

1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:08pm**

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:They have to put these warnings on s so someone doesn't sue because they put it up their nose and got thier friend pregnant.

What bout instructions on airpline packets of nuts? (Open packet, eat nuts)

Warning on package: "Warning, contains nuts." Well, no shit?

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:13pm**

Peanut butter: "May contain nut products."

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:15pm**

verilon wrote:1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.

LOL, but the Swedish chainsaw still takes it.

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:17pm**

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:1) Hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.

2) On the bottom of certain desserts: Do not turn upside down.
LOL, but the Swedish chainsaw still takes it.

WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:19pm**

verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?

You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw?

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."

Posted: **2002-11-13 07:22pm**

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw?

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."

Oh. I forgot about that. I have heard you refer to it, but I continually forget about the warning. I've seen it on lawnmowers before, too.

Posted: **2002-11-13 08:49pm**

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw?

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."

Idiot: (attempts to stop chainsaw with foot)
Idiot: AAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!
Idiot: (sues manufacturer of chainsaw)

Hey, it could happen

Posted: **2002-11-13 08:50pm**

And sadly, probably will.

Posted: **2002-11-13 08:50pm**

And probably has, no doubt.

Posted: **2002-11-13 09:05pm**

IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw?

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."

I stalled a chainsaw with my genitals once. No problem.

Posted: **2002-11-13 09:36pm**

Porta-Potty: "Please do not eat Urinal cakes."

Anti-freeze bottle, "Do not lick cap."

Posted: **2002-11-13 09:42pm**

Frank Hipper wrote:
IG-88E wrote:
verilon wrote:WTF is the Swedish chainsaw?
You've never heard of the Swedish chainsaw?

It's a chainsaw with a warning of one side:

"Warning. Do not attempt to stop with hands or genitals."
I stalled a chainsaw with my genitals once. No problem.

Prolly why they have that warning.

On a smei-related topic, American drive-up ATMs have Braille. Why?

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