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My Plan to Invade Iraq...

Posted: 2002-11-16 09:59pm
by HemlockGrey
...is simple. We will dispatch one frigate and one Apache helicopter.

This, however, will be a special helicopter.

It will hold around 1200 bullets, 32 rockets, and no more than 8 missiles. Although it will only have around 30 minutes of fuel, it will be able to pick up random fuel drums and use it as fuel no matter the type of fuel. All rockets will be compatible with it's launchers and it's weapons will never overheat.

First, it will destroy radar systems. Then, power centers, then air fields, then command centers. We'll have it nail any SCUD launchers it can find, along with destroying WMD facilities with a barrage of rockets. POW camps and prisons will be prime targets; the rockets will be specially designed so that a volley will break open a hole in the wall but will not damage any civilians within.

We will set up various landing zones around the perimeter, but ground troops will never be used. Nevertheless, the Apache will have to randomly pick up MIA's who mysteriously managed to stumble into the region.

That is all. Gentlemen, you are dismissed.

Posted: 2002-11-16 09:59pm
by Crown
Ah... I am interested? :?:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:00pm
by Mike_6002
Ah Desert Strike remerber playing that for SEGA couldn't get off the first level damn I sucked pretty bad!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:01pm
by Darth Wong
I hate to break this to you, but that only works in the computer-game universe. I discovered this the hard way, after attempting to heal an injury by walking into a white box with a cross on it.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:01pm
by Mike_6002
Darth Wong wrote:I hate to break this to you, but that only works in the computer-game universe.
Damn that true and the game sucked, because it was so damn hard!

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:02pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
My plan is an ultimatium: EIther Saddam surrenders, or we send Barney over there.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:03pm
by haas mark
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:My plan is an ultimatium: EIther Saddam surrenders, or we send Barney over there.
Worse yet: The Teletubbies.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:03pm
by TrailerParkJawa
That game was fun. Probably the only game on the Sega I actually finished.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:04pm
by Mike_6002
verilon wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:My plan is an ultimatium: EIther Saddam surrenders, or we send Barney over there.
Worse yet: The Teletubbies.
<ugghhhhh.......> No Comment (Shudders!!!!!!!)

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:04pm
by haas mark
Mike_6002 wrote:
verilon wrote:
Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:My plan is an ultimatium: EIther Saddam surrenders, or we send Barney over there.
Worse yet: The Teletubbies.
<ugghhhhh.......> No Comment (Shudders!!!!!!!)
And you guys think I'm not evil! Pah!

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:06pm
by Crown
Darth Wong wrote:I hate to break this to you, but that only works in the computer-game universe. I discovered this the hard way, after attempting to heal an injury by walking into a white box with a cross on it.
You mean that doesn't work? /jk

I don't know why, but that line gave me the giggles. I guess seeing our rational and pragmatical leader walking into 'a white box with a red cross on it' in an attempt to heal themselves just too funny.

And yes I know that you were being humerous.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:07pm
by Mike_6002
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote:
verilon wrote: Worse yet: The Teletubbies.
<ugghhhhh.......> No Comment (Shudders!!!!!!!)
And you guys think I'm not evil! Pah!
That is prue unadultrated evil :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

No send The_Fearmister if you want to take out Iraq for good

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:07pm
by Raptor 597
*Remembers that old SNL with that Farrelel guy still on the show* Here, here, Mean of the House of Commons that the Purple Teletubby is not a Homosexual.*Brawls breaks out with the words "Shut the Hell up ye batard"* Anyway, US & Britain's secret weapon, Barney, and the Teletubbies.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:09pm
by haas mark
Mike_6002 wrote:That is prue unadultrated evil :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
;) My specialty. ;)
No send The_Fearmister if you want to take out Iraq for good
The who? Ah, fuck it. Send 'em all.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:13pm
by data_link
Sadly, even Barney won't be able to withstand bullets. No, we need something different, something evil, something so despicable that all shall tremble before it. We need to send:







JAR-JAR BINKS

Bwahahaha.

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:13pm
by Mike_6002
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote:That is prue unadultrated evil :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
;) My specialty. ;)
No send The_Fearmister if you want to take out Iraq for good
The who? Ah, fuck it. Send 'em all.
See ASVS FUQ or ASVS Fanfics it's a souped TIE Defender from hell piloted by the sith lord LT. Hit-Man

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:15pm
by haas mark
Threaten to have RayCav's fantasies filled upon them and/or have them tortured by Christian Evangelist fundies and/or Darkstar. :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:16pm
by Mike_6002
verilon wrote:Threaten to have RayCav's fantasies filled upon them and/or have them tortured by Christian Evangelist fundies and/or Darkstar. :twisted:
Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:17pm
by haas mark
Mike_6002 wrote:
verilon wrote:Threaten to have RayCav's fantasies filled upon them and/or have them tortured by Christian Evangelist fundies and/or Darkstar. :twisted:
Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I don't think it gets much worse than that. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:20pm
by Mike_6002
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote:
verilon wrote:Threaten to have RayCav's fantasies filled upon them and/or have them tortured by Christian Evangelist fundies and/or Darkstar. :twisted:
Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I don't think it gets much worse than that. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
Also don't forget the classic ASVS unholy trimatuive (Anton "Elim" Pronger, TOWNMNBS, and Paul Jaques) now that is prue evil :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:21pm
by data_link
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote:
verilon wrote:Threaten to have RayCav's fantasies filled upon them and/or have them tortured by Christian Evangelist fundies and/or Darkstar. :twisted:
Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I don't think it gets much worse than that. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
It gets much worse. All of the above are vulnerable to bullets. The Iraqis will just shoot them. That's why we send Jar-Jar. :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:21pm
by haas mark
data_link wrote:
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote: Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I don't think it gets much worse than that. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
It gets much worse. All of the above are vulnerable to bullets. The Iraqis will just shoot them. That's why we send Jar-Jar. :twisted:
Can we add the Evil in!? :twisted:

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:22pm
by HemlockGrey
Yes! People got the Desert Strike reference!

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:23pm
by Mike_6002
data_link wrote:
verilon wrote:
Mike_6002 wrote: Now that's worse than Barney and Teletubbies :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:
I don't think it gets much worse than that. :twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
It gets much worse. All of the above are vulnerable to bullets. The Iraqis will just shoot them. That's why we send Jar-Jar. :twisted:
True the ASVS trimatutive surived everything a few bullets won't stop them once there released (I see TJ say ha bullets that won't get past my l33t hax0r wall of ingonrance)

Posted: 2002-11-16 10:24pm
by Mike_6002
Cyril wrote:Yes! People got the Desert Strike reference!
Yup played a long time ago............back in like '94 or '95 when back in the day