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How do you deal with it?

I know all too many people that cut, and I myself have had the urge to do so. I write poetry, to try to let it out...but when I have not the time or the resources to do so, I think.....cut.

Cut as in physically slicing yourself?!?!

No Verilon, that is NOT the way to go. If you feel bad you have to do something that gets you out of your rut. There is nothing worse for depression than doing the same old thing. Go out and exercise, play a sport, take a long walk. Most important of all, talk to a friend.

Play sport.

Its one of the best ways to build friendship and esteem.

Stravo wrote:Cut as in physically slicing yourself?!?!

No Verilon, that is NOT the way to go. If you feel bad you have to do something that gets you out of your rut. There is nothing worse for depression than doing the same old thing. Go out and exercise, play a sport, take a long walk. Most important of all, talk to a friend.

I have been trying to....but lately, sometimes things just get worse and worse. I know I come off as a very happy person here, but it gets hartder and harder each day. I am personally AFRAID to cut myself....I won't touch my razors, because I am afraid of what I might do with them. It hurts knowing that I know I would hurt way too many people by doing so....I try to let it out in any way possible....my journals, here, with my friends IRL.....it's hard, though. Especially knowing that I can't go out and do anything with no money. I went job-hunting today, and I hope that went over well. But I want to be able to sometimes have money from outside....my family doesn't care enough. My parents wont send me anything. They were the last ones to ask about Thanksgiving. My aunt, at least, cares enough to give me my mail, and once, to send me some food when I didn't have anything.

I know that cuting is bad...but it feels like there is this....bubble...on my arm that I need to get rid of, and can't get rid of unless I were to do so....and my psychiatrist....I can't see her until a week from Tuesday....I begin to wonder if I can last that long....

verilon wrote:

Stravo wrote:Cut as in physically slicing yourself?!?! :shock:

No Verilon, that is NOT the way to go. If you feel bad you have to do something that gets you out of your rut. There is nothing worse for depression than doing the same old thing. Go out and exercise, play a sport, take a long walk. Most important of all, talk to a friend.

I have been trying to....but lately, sometimes things just get worse and worse. I know I come off as a very happy person here, but it gets hartder and harder each day. I am personally AFRAID to cut myself...
.I won't touch my razors, because I am afraid of what I might do with them. It hurts knowing that I know I would hurt way too many people by doing so....I try to let it out in any way possible....my journals, here, with my friends IRL.....it's hard, though. Especially knowing that I can't go out and do anything with no money. I went job-hunting today, and I hope that went over well. But I want to be able to sometimes have money from outside....my family doesn't care enough. My parents wont send me anything. They were the last ones to ask about Thanksgiving. My aunt, at least, cares enough to give me my mail, and once, to send me some food when I didn't have anything.

I know that cuting is bad...but it feels like there is this....bubble...on my arm that I need to get rid of, and can't get rid of unless I were to do so....and my psychiatrist....I can't see her until a week from Tuesday....I begin to wonder if I can last that long....

Thats pretty fucking bad. But at least you are capable of acknowledging that you can't or at the very least SHOULDN'T cut yourself because of the damage it will cause, not just to you, but to all those around you. If your family isn't going to be there for you, talk to your friends. If they aren't willing to be there for you, then they are pretty shitty friends. You sound like you need to vent, to get it all out. You sound like you need more than just a shoulder to cry on. You need a shoulder that will be able to prop you up and help you around day to day. Rest assured, if you haven't found one already, there is one nearby. When you fall the hardest, I've found that there is always someone with the softest touch to get you back on your feet.

Keep cool. And remember, I'm on AIM if you need to talk.

Either that or Classes, I was missing most of my classes in November when I was in College, it's a Bipolar thing, once our sunlight quotient dips below a certian amount, That and all of the family bullshit this time of year, adds to the depression factor this time of year as well,


I know, me before me, Ver, and some others are done, we will have you all well versed in the science of psychological disorders.


Now for Seasonal Depression: Get one of those lighted visors (Looks like a card dealers visor, but it has lights on the underside that illuminate the face, and increase your endorphin levels enabling you to fight of the depression, you should be able to get one from the campus medical staff.

Yeah, don't start hurting yourself. In the long run, it will just become another thing to be depressed about and a greater problem unto itself.

Try what Stravo said, do something different. Go for a walk, AIM a friend, smoke pot, jerk off, something.

A thing that helps me is to excise the demons creatively. If you feel like doing something destructive, use that energy to do something constructive. Write a story about it instead of actually doing it. Or draw a picture of it. Sing song about it. Anything to focus that energy outside instead of inside.

Drewcifer wrote:Yeah, don't start hurting yourself. In the long run, it will just become another thing to be depressed about and a greater problem unto itself.

Try what Stravo said, do something different. Go for a walk, AIM a friend, smoke pot, jerk off, something.

A thing that helps me is to excise the demons creatively. If you feel like doing something destructive, use that energy to do something constructive. Write a story about it instead of actually doing it. Or draw a picture of it. Sing song about it. Anything to focus that energy outside instead of inside.

That is the problem....I don't do sports......I have trieds writing, but it continuously fails to help me.....

I need someone physical, and I can't find that person. They are just out of my reach, out of my grasp. I have tried so hard, but in the end, I always hold back my tears...

verilon wrote:
That is the problem....I don't do sports......I have trieds writing, but it continuously fails to help me.....

I need someone physical, and I can't find that person. They are just out of my reach, out of my grasp. I have tried so hard, but in the end, I always hold back my tears...

I didn't mean run a marathon. Maybe just a walk around the library or something, get that blood flowing, and a little motion to distract yourself.

Too, I can speak from experience, looking for happiness in someone else usually fails. Happiness, or at least the lack of sadness, has to come from within. It's hard, I know, but you're the only one that can 'fix' you. Help from others is important, and almost required, but it has to start on the inside.

Too, have you tried any meds? They work wonders for some people, and most schools have sliding scale payment plans. Or try your local county health center, they usually can get you cheap help and meds. And finding the right meds might take awhile, brain chemistry is quite complex.

I hate to give you the wrong advice, I'm just a layman, but sometimes you just have to say fuck it and move on anyway. That's the worst thing about depression, is that it's a closed negative feedback loop. That's why doing something different can help. Go take a cold shower. Run naked in the woods. Anything to break that loop for a bit.

One really good thing for me is to sing. I'm not a great singer, but something about singing really unloads a lot of crap from me.

Hope some of that helps

I really don't know what to tell you. Besides, I'm a little mad at a certain piece of shit (you know who), so I don't feel confident to give you any advice right now. Just know that I wish you the best of luck and hope that you will get out of it.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:
That is the problem....I don't do sports......I have trieds writing, but it continuously fails to help me.....

I need someone physical, and I can't find that person. They are just out of my reach, out of my grasp. I have tried so hard, but in the end, I always hold back my tears...

I didn't mean run a marathon. Maybe just a walk around the library or something, get that blood flowing, and a little motion to distract yourself.

Trust me, I've tried....I really have...I even went out job-hunting today....and I think half the time depression stems from others. But I can't say for sure. The depression hit after I got back in the comp lab, after talking to a friend on the phone...and it was sudden, and overwhelming.

Too, I can speak from experience, looking for happiness in someone else usually fails. Happiness, or at least the lack of sadness, has to come from within. It's hard, I know, but you're the only one that can 'fix' you. Help from others is important, and almost required, but it has to start on the inside.

Its not that, just that I want someone physically there that I can tell my problems to, and not worry about what they're going to say. Just once.

Too, have you tried any meds? They work wonders for some people, and most schools have sliding scale payment plans. Or try your local county health center, they usually can get you cheap help and meds. And finding the right meds might take awhile, brain chemistry is quite complex.

I am planning on askjing my psychiatrist about it.

I hate to give you the wrong advice, I'm just a layman, but sometimes you just have to say fuck it and move on anyway. That's the worst thing about depression, is that it's a closed negative feedback loop. That's why doing something different can help. Go take a cold shower. Run naked in the woods. Anything to break that loop for a bit.

One really good thing for me is to sing. I'm not a great singer, but something about singing really unloads a lot of crap from me.

Hope some of that helps

I know you ar etrying to help....but these things have just stopped working for me, and I dunno why....

verilon wrote: Trust me, I've tried....I really have...I even went out job-hunting today....and I think half the time depression stems from others. But I can't say for sure. The depression hit after I got back in the comp lab, after talking to a friend on the phone...and it was sudden, and overwhelming.

Something in that coversation probably triggered it. That, or being in the comp lab itself. Flourescent (sp?) lights aren't good for depression, and I read somewhere recently of a study that found sitting in front of a monitor for too long, especially over time, can cause physical and emotional depression. If I find the link, I'll post it.

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, I can speak from experience, looking for happiness in someone else usually fails. Happiness, or at least the lack of sadness, has to come from within. It's hard, I know, but you're the only one that can 'fix' you. Help from others is important, and almost required, but it has to start on the inside.

Its not that, just that I want someone physically there that I can tell my problems to, and not worry about what they're going to say. Just once.

Look for a depression support group on campus or around town. Folks that have been there in the pits will understand without being judgemental.

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, have you tried any meds?

I am planning on askjing my psychiatrist about it.

Try 'em out. They really help some people.

verilon wrote: I know you ar etrying to help....but these things have just stopped working for me, and I dunno why....

Maybe the source of your depression is still there? Sounds both chemical and emotional.

All I can really tell you is that I've battled depression for most of my adult life, and although it still gets me sometimes, things are getting better. I've worked my ass off at it, and sometimes fear I will battle it the rest of my life, but I'm here to say that you can get better, and I know you will. Just don't give up

Oh, another that might help: go volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Sometimes helping others is good medicine too.

Also, maybe try an online thing like livejournal.com

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote: Trust me, I've tried....I really have...I even went out job-hunting today....and I think half the time depression stems from others. But I can't say for sure. The depression hit after I got back in the comp lab, after talking to a friend on the phone...and it was sudden, and overwhelming.

Something in that coversation probably triggered it. That, or being in the comp lab itself. Flourescent (sp?) lights aren't good for depression, and I read somewhere recently of a study that found sitting in front of a monitor for too long, especially over time, can cause physical and emotional depression. If I find the link, I'll post it.

Probably...I tend to feel the same emotions as those I chat with.

Drew wrote:

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, I can speak from experience, looking for happiness in someone else usually fails. Happiness, or at least the lack of sadness, has to come from within. It's hard, I know, but you're the only one that can 'fix' you. Help from others is important, and almost required, but it has to start on the inside.

Its not that, just that I want someone physically there that I can tell my problems to, and not worry about what they're going to say. Just once.

Look for a depression support group on campus or around town. Folks that have been there in the pits will understand without being judgemental.

It's not that simple.....I need a single-person outlet.

Drew wrote:

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, have you tried any meds?

I am planning on askjing my psychiatrist about it.

Try 'em out. They really help some people.

I am going to.....problem is, my psych appt isn't until a week form tuesday.

Drew wrote:

verilon wrote: I know you ar etrying to help....but these things have just stopped working for me, and I dunno why....

Maybe the source of your depression is still there? Sounds both chemical and emotional.

All I can really tell you is that I've battled depression for most of my adult life, and although it still gets me sometimes, things are getting better. I've worked my ass off at it, and sometimes fear I will battle it the rest of my life, but I'm here to say that you can get better, and I know you will. Just don't give up

Oh, another that might help: go volunteer at a soup kitchen or homeless shelter. Sometimes helping others is good medicine too.

Also, maybe try an online thing like livejournal.com

Way ahead of you there....I already have a livejournal....and a deadjournal, to boot.

Well have a nice night Ver. I am just ticked off that with the Delays in shipping from Sluggy, takes about 6 weeks (Everything is hand detailed), and the Kitten Tee's Take LONGER (So expect your Yule gift sometime in Febuary)

THe Yosemite Bear wrote:Well have a nice night Ver. I am just ticked off that with the Delays in shipping from Sluggy, takes about 6 weeks (Everything is hand detailed), and the Kitten Tee's Take LONGER (So expect your Yule gift sometime in Febuary)

No problem. And thanks.

verilon wrote:...I tend to feel the same emotions as those I chat with.

Yeah, empathy can be a real pain in the ass. But in that case

verilon wrote:

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:...I want someone physically there that I can tell my problems to, and not worry about what they're going to say. Just once.

Look for a depression support group on campus or around town. Folks that have been there in the pits will understand without being judgemental.

It's not that simple.....I need a single-person outlet.

Ain't nothing simple about it Sometimes talking with others with the same problems can be a big help. Instead of being shocked or judgmental, they'll just go "yeah, been there too". Mostly, they can listen with a knowing ear.

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, have you tried any meds?

I am planning on askjing my psychiatrist about it......problem is, my psych appt isn't until a week form tuesday.

Call around Monday, see someone else too? They probably won't try any meds right off the bat, but it would be someone professional to talk to. Besides, sounds like you should be going one or twice a week.


I don't feel like I'm helping you much, but I hope I am

And this probably won't help at all, but sometimes getting through depression is just getting used to it. Like a gimp leg. You learn to walk better, and not let it hold you back, but you may always have a little limp to live with.

Anyhow, hope some of this helped a little bit. Maybe you just wanted to vent instead of a discussion, but I've been there too, and couldn't let it pass by without comment.

I gotta get offline, my eyes start to complain after too many hours in front of a monitor, but I'll try and dream up some good thoughts in your direction

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:...I tend to feel the same emotions as those I chat with.

Yeah, empathy can be a real pain in the ass. But in that case

Drew wrote:

verilon wrote:

Drewcifer wrote: Look for a depression support group on campus or around town. Folks that have been there in the pits will understand without being judgemental.

It's not that simple.....I need a single-person outlet.

Ain't nothing simple about it Sometimes talking with others with the same problems can be a big help. Instead of being shocked or judgmental, they'll just go "yeah, been there too". Mostly, they can listen with a knowing ear.

Again, its a weird thing....I don't like groups.

Drew wrote:

Drewcifer wrote:

verilon wrote:Too, have you tried any meds?

I am planning on askjing my psychiatrist about it......problem is, my psych appt isn't until a week form tuesday.

Call around Monday, see someone else too? They probably won't try any meds right off the bat, but it would be someone professional to talk to. Besides, sounds like you should be going one or twice a week.

I am actually supposed to be going once a week, but things happened this week, and she had to cancel the appt.

Drew wrote:I don't feel like I'm helping you much, but I hope I am

And this probably won't help at all, but sometimes getting through depression is just getting used to it. Like a gimp leg. You learn to walk better, and not let it hold you back, but you may always have a little limp to live with.

Anyhow, hope some of this helped a little bit. Maybe you just wanted to vent instead of a discussion, but I've been there too, and couldn't let it pass by without comment.

I gotta get offline, my eyes start to complain after too many hours in front of a monitor, but I'll try and dream up some good thoughts in your direction

Thank you....it's helkped a bit.

Have you ever felt the need to cut? Lately, this seems to be a weird fascination of mine. Like I feel I need to let out this large gaseous bubble of blood on my left arm, like it shouldn't be there. I try to write poetry to let it out....sometimes it doesn't help. It just doesn't help. I have spoken to rundown about it...it helped some, but not a whole lot...I will update this later...I need to go cry, now...

and

I need to cry. But there is no one to hold me. I have been so utterly depressed lately....I need to talk to my psychiatrist, but I can't until next Tuesday. I'm not sure I can last that long....there's the ever increasing urge...somebody help! I don't want to cut, but the odds are more and more in the favor of doing so...I have to many friends that have cut before....I am afraid....afraid of the scars, afraid of what I might do, afraid of the friends I'll lose....becuase I can't control the urge....What am I supposed to do? I am so tired....I want to give up....oh, how I want to give up! It seems almost inevitable, but I don't want it to happen...the tears flow freely...no they don't. I'm kidding myself...it won't happen. I don't want it to happen...no. No cutting. There won't be any of that involved. Why, oh, why do I have this urge? Why is it that I am so depressed? It seems I am not happy unless I am talking to someone. And even then, empathy always kicks in....sometimes for better, sometimes for worse...

Oh, my God, what am I supposed to do...? I need someoen to talk to, someone to hold me. I need someone physically there...it hits so quick, now, so sharp...so painful, that is almost like Death's own blow of the scythe...the poet's poetry is dark and dank and doesn't know who it's hurting! My God, what is the meaning of this? Why do I want to do this to myself? The urge gets stronger with every bout....ever sharper...ever more acute...sharper....razors. Solve no problems. Keep away from my room. Keep out, a bad place that is. There are razors, knives in there...keep the keys, the cards in your pocket....

Cry, cry, let it all out, keep yourself in touch with reality...no cutting. Need to cry. Find him, find him quick! The one whom you can trust, whom you can cry on...

Please help me....

Patrick

I know I need help...but it will be a while coming....

Ver, go talk to your bf. Just talk everything over with him. Your friends are the best people to work things out with, especially bf/gf.

Ted wrote:Ver, go talk to your bf. Just talk everything over with him. Your friends are the best people to work things out with, especially bf/gf.

If only I had a bf.....it would work out, but I can't get a hold of the one I want to get a hold of...

verilon wrote:

Ted wrote:Ver, go talk to your bf. Just talk everything over with him. Your friends are the best people to work things out with, especially bf/gf.

If only I had a bf.....it would work out, but I can't get a hold of the one I want to get a hold of...

I thought you had one, only a few days ago...

I been depressed twice this year I have my parents to support me....I do feel empthay and will stop my silly thread and I try to be serious for now on..........good luck and remember my sig line it about taking what you can get apply to all things in life

-Your quasi-nemesis if you keep attacking me Mike_6002

Don't hurt yourself you can make it!!!!!!!!!!!

If not just don't let Iggy bother you....and loot your stuff

Ted wrote:I thought you had one, only a few days ago...

No...I've been trying to work on someone for a few weeks now, with no avail. *sigh*shrug*

verilon wrote:

Ted wrote:I thought you had one, only a few days ago...

No...I've been trying to work on someone for a few weeks now, with no avail. *sigh*shrug*

Ah, then those previous posts were of you trying to get him then. Any success at all?

Ted wrote:Ah, then those previous posts were of you trying to get him then. Any success at all?

Not really...I got a hold of him earlier this week, but none other time. Damn him for never being at home!