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Man burns penis with laptop

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:29am
by Faram
Too good not to post it

http://www.theregister.co.uk/content/54/28245.html

And now for proof that some laptops run hotter than a badger. A 50-year old scientist, previously healthy, burned his penis after placing his laptop on his, err lap, for an hour. Oh, he was fully dressed in trousers and underpants, according to this letter printed in the Lancet, the UK's best-known medical journal. (reg req'd, free.)

The following is not for the squeamish:

The next day he noticed irritation and oedema of his penile prepuce. Furthermore, the ventral part of his scrotal skin had turned red, and there was a blister with a diameter of about 2 cm. These findings were verified when I saw the patient 1 day later. There were no signs of phimosis or balanitis. The patient recalled that, while sitting 2 days earlier with his computer on his lap, he occasionally had felt heat and a burning feeling on his lap and proximal thigh, a sensation that was relieved at least temporarily when the computer was moved slightly.

After the first 2 days, the penile and scrotal blisters broke and developed into infected wounds that caused extensive suppuration. More than a week later, the wounds were covered by dry crusts and thereafter were healing quite rapidly. No antibiotic treatment was needed.

Thank goodness. The Register is happy that the patient was in such able hands, but disappointed in the lack of technical detail in Claes-Goran Ostenson's report. What was the make of laptop*? Did it have a desktop chip in it? Roll on Banias.

The unnamed laptop maimer may have to change the caveats in its instruction manual. Ostenson notes the branding iron firm's safety instructions:

Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn."

Don't trousers and underpants count?

The 50 year old scientist has learned a lesson, although we're not sure what. Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."

Quite. ®

*Reg Reader Peter Dudek of Switzerland writes:

Just thought I'd mention that by doing a google search with "Do not allow your portable computer to operate with the base resting directly on exposed skin. With extended operation, heat can potentially build up in the base. Allowing sustained contact with the skin could cause discomfort or, eventually, a burn" as the search string, I believe, reveals the mystery laptop brand.

It's a Dell Latitude. The search pulls up a support website from from support.jp.dell.com, that has, essentially, the exact same warning in the
"User's Guide". ®

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:37am
by haas mark
LMAO!!!!!

But.......his boyfriend was the laptop!?[/] I think this huy has some power issues. He said he could control "him" like a lightswitch...I definitely think he has some issues to resolve. I mean, who wishes they could have a boyfrinrd that they didn't have to deal with IRL, but that they could literally control their every move (sorta)? Well, I certainly don't. I may be power-hungry, but people are people. Ugh...

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:40am
by Vympel
WTF .... how can you possibly burn your dick with a laptop and not know it.

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:41am
by XaLEv
I don't think the guy with the unfortunate genitalia is Mark:
Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
And besides, that part talks about a Mac G3, and the part after that implies that the laptop responsible for the burns was a Dell Latitude.

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:45am
by haas mark
XaLEv wrote:I don't think the guy with the unfortunate genitalia is Mark:
Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
And besides, that part talks about a Mac G3, and the part after that implies that the laptop responsible for the burns was a Dell Latitude.
That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.
Yes, it is.

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:53am
by XaLEv
verilon wrote: Yes, it is.
Look at that part again.
Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."
Read the bold part. They are saying that this is not a case like with Mark and his Mac.

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:55am
by haas mark
XaLEv wrote:
verilon wrote: Yes, it is.
Look at that part again.
Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.

That's when Mark realized it wasn't Bryan he fancied, it was his Mac.

"Bryan, my cyberboyfriend, was in a lot of ways, my PowerMac G3, webcam and telephone," Mark wrote on his website. "He literally lived inside of this machine ... that I myself could control like a light switch. The perfect boyfriend."
Read the bold part. They are saying that this is not a case like with Mark and his Mac.
Ah. Okay, I guess I kept misreading it. :| Oops. :oops:

Posted: 2002-11-22 07:59am
by Grand Admiral Thrawn
Owchie. And why would he have a laptop on his...lap for so long?

Posted: 2002-11-22 08:03am
by haas mark
Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:Owchie. And why would he have a laptop on his...lap for so long?
The barrel gets lower once again...

Posted: 2002-11-22 08:50am
by Stormbringer
Vympel wrote:WTF .... how can you possibly burn your dick with a laptop and not know it.
How is it possible to burn you dick and not know it period? I mean, I think you'd notice.

Posted: 2002-11-22 09:59am
by Darth Wong
Moral of this story: no one will protect your privates but you.

Posted: 2002-11-22 10:04am
by Evil Sadistic Bastard
Confucius say: When dickee burn, no put laptop on lap.

Posted: 2002-11-22 12:36pm
by neoolong
That really sucks. And you have to explain to the hospital how your burned yourself.

Posted: 2002-11-22 12:41pm
by Einhander Sn0m4n
ROFL!! WTF?!!!
Note to self: Don't get a laptop unless it has at least a 35kilogram cast iron heatsink on the bottom....

Posted: 2002-11-22 09:56pm
by Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi
Great. Now, the governments will put a bunch of silly regulations on laptops, and all laptops will have to come with "penis mitts" to prevent any such accidents from occuring in the future. If he was American, he would have sued by now.

Posted: 2002-11-22 10:07pm
by TrailerParkJawa
I think this is gonna turn out to be a hoax. Its pretty sensitive down there to heat.

Posted: 2002-11-22 10:11pm
by Evil Sadistic Bastard
Einhander Sn0m4n wrote:ROFL!! WTF?!!!
Note to self: Don't get a laptop unless it has at least a 35kilogram cast iron heatsink on the bottom....
Considering heat sinks dissipate ehat by radiating it out through their fins, and its on the BOTTOM, your balls are going to get crushed and fried, I'm afraid.

Re: Man burns penis with laptop

Posted: 2002-11-23 01:23am
by Master of Ossus
Faram wrote: Ande we are relieved that this is not a case of objectum sexuality, most commonly expressed in sexual love for cars, but also a phenomenon among... owners of PowerMacs(they are nice, aren't they?). Here is a snippet from a recent Wired piece.
:shock: :shock: :shock:

Every time I begin to regain faith in humanity....