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Jar Jar Binks vs. Chelyabinsk-40

Posted: 2002-11-26 05:01pm
by Sea Skimmer
Two things that should never mix, Soviet 50's nuclear safety precautions and Jar Jar, have.

Chelyabinsk-40, also called the Kyshtym complex, was the first Soviet plutonium separation plant for those of you who don't know, work started in 1945. The five reactors are underground. It was also the site of three major nuclear disasters and the whole area is the most contaminated spot on the planet today. The workers who built it lived about 18 months after starting work.. Later workers would receive about 100 rem's per year, some over 400 rem's.......

Jar Jar Binks is now lose in it in 1957. How long until something blows up or melts down?

Posted: 2002-11-26 06:11pm
by TrailerParkJawa
The Soviets would send Jar Jar to the Gulag, where he would promptly cause problems there too.

I really HATED his character.

Posted: 2002-11-26 06:16pm
by Jadeite
The Soviets would send Jar Jar to the Gulag, where he would promptly cause problems there too.
The Gulag is too good for him, I think slow torture and death would be better.

Posted: 2002-11-26 06:29pm
by IRG CommandoJoe
I bet Jar Jar would bring down the entire Soviet Union.

Posted: 2002-11-26 06:43pm
by Sea Skimmer
Jadeite wrote:
The Soviets would send Jar Jar to the Gulag, where he would promptly cause problems there too.
The Gulag is too good for him, I think slow torture and death would be better.
The lake part of Chelyabinsk used for cooling water will give you a lethal dose of radiation in an hour today, that's just standing on the shore beside it...

However capturing him without blowing somthing up in the process is an iffy proposition.

Posted: 2002-11-26 07:04pm
by RadiO
Jar-Jar decides his rancid clothes need a wash, so he decides to give them a good clean by "opening" one of the complex's steam lines.

Elapsed time since Jar-Jar entered the scene: 5 minutes

Reactor #3 thus suffers a disappointingly straightforward and by-the-numbers loss of coolant accident. The resultant meltdown kills thousands - but not Jar-Jar, whose infuriating character shield comes into play once again. He is now permamently radioactive and deadly to anybody in prolonged contact with him, a la Saul Dagenham from The Stars my Destination.
However, while Dagenham was given fair consideration by Earth authorities and allowed to live a relatively full and active life, there is no such clemancy for Jar-Jar; he is encased in concrete and dumped off the coast of Novaya Zemlya.
Binks is dead.... and yet somehow, life goes on.

Posted: 2002-11-26 07:44pm
by Sea Skimmer
RadiO wrote:Jar-Jar decides his rancid clothes need a wash, so he decides to give them a good clean by "opening" one of the complex's steam lines.

Elapsed time since Jar-Jar entered the scene: 5 minutes

Reactor #3 thus suffers a disappointingly straightforward and by-the-numbers loss of coolant accident. The resultant meltdown kills thousands - but not Jar-Jar, whose infuriating character shield comes into play once again. He is now permamently radioactive and deadly to anybody in prolonged contact with him, a la Saul Dagenham from The Stars my Destination.
However, while Dagenham was given fair consideration by Earth authorities and allowed to live a relatively full and active life, there is no such clemancy for Jar-Jar; he is encased in concrete and dumped off the coast of Novaya Zemlya.
Binks is dead.... and yet somehow, life goes on.
I see you've heard of the incident involving the cook, the dirty pan and the nuclear icebreaker...

Posted: 2002-11-26 11:35pm
by MKSheppard
Sea Skimmer wrote: I see you've heard of the incident involving the cook, the dirty pan and the nuclear icebreaker...
LOL, that actualyl happened? I always kept seeing it referenced in the
cheap technothrillers I picked up for 10 cents at the church thrift shops...

the LENIN wasn't it?

Posted: 2002-11-27 08:31am
by Admiral Piett
Sea Skimmer wrote:I see you've heard of the incident involving the cook, the dirty pan and the nuclear icebreaker...
I haven't.What happened?

Posted: 2002-11-27 08:35am
by RadiO
MKSheppard wrote:
Sea Skimmer wrote: I see you've heard of the incident involving the cook, the dirty pan and the nuclear icebreaker...
LOL, that actualyl happened? I always kept seeing it referenced in the
cheap technothrillers I picked up for 10 cents at the church thrift shops...

the LENIN wasn't it?
Is it true? I sure I read somewhere other than The Hunt for Red October that this was the incident which led to the Lenin being out of service for a few years in the late 60's, but I can't remember where.

Posted: 2002-11-27 02:48pm
by Sea Skimmer
The ship's cook couldn't get some pans clean and it was suggested that he go down to the engine room a use a jet of steam to clean them off. Evidently he was from Kazakhstan and spoke poor Russian at best.

Somehow rather then opening up the secondary cooling loop, which would have given him what he wanted, he opened up bolted inspection panel in the primary loop. The primary loop goes through the reactor an is highly radioactive. Radioactive steam flooded the engine room and much of the ship, though a loss of coolant accident was avoided, it seems the crew managed to quickly reseal it. Cook and five others later died IIRC.

I'm not sure of the Ice Breaker's name, however it’s a quite real event, back in the late 70's though. The entire engine room is hot to lethal levels and the whole ship is very unsafe. Since the accident she's been docked at a very remote Murmansk pier. The Russians also had the idea to use the hot hulk as a storage area for fuel removed from subs. So there is now several additional tons of waste onboard. The Russians wanted to dispose of her by digging a canal, lining it with concrete, shoving the ship in and them burying the whole thing but cost makes that impossible.

National Geographic had a big article on pollution in the former Soviet Union five or six years ago. It had a picture of the breaker in dock and the full story. It also had a picture of the lake at Chelyabinsk and its 600 rem an hour glory.

Posted: 2002-11-27 06:10pm
by RadiO
Very interesting, Sea Skimmer; quite unsettling, also. :shock:
While we're on the topic, I've been wondering about the nuclear accident aboard the Kirov class Admiral Ushakov, which was apparently the cause of her being out of service since around 1990. What actually happened? There doesn't seem to be a lot of information about the incident out there.