Whom do you consider?

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-02 12:46am

Guys: do you ever consider your female friends as potential love interests, or is that not acceptable? Obviously if you don't know them all that well there really isn't much to lose, but what about friends you've had for years and years? Do you sort of forget that they're female after you've been friends for X years, or is there always some sexual awareness there, deep down inside?

Straight chicks and guys who aren't into chicks, feel free to chime in; I just need lots of opinions from straight guys on this.

I need all the help I can get on this one, really.

Evil Sadistic Bastard · Post by **Evil Sadistic Bastard** » 2002-12-02 12:51am

Zaia wrote:Guys: do you ever consider your female friends as potential love interests, or is that not acceptable? Obviously if you don't know them all that well there really isn't much to lose, but what about friends you've had for years and years? Do you sort of forget that they're female after you've been friends for X years, or is there always some sexual awareness there, deep down inside?

Straight chicks and guys who aren't into chicks, feel free to chime in; I just need lots of opinions from straight guys on this. I need all the help I can get on this one, really.

TO me, if they have female genitalia, and if they look good, I go for it.

But I don't see why not. You can start off as platonic friends and then move to a more personal level after that.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2002-12-02 12:51am

The potential is there for some, but at times...it hard to because of what sometimes some female friends mean to me.

Some are near kid sister age(about a 10 year difference with a couple) and others I have just learned things about them that involved sexually I dunno would feel wrong persay.

So overall, there is the possiblity but just not high.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-02 12:52am

I consider most females within reason as potential love interests. Female friends included. As long as there families are not family friends. It gets a bit iffy then.

Other than that it is fine. After all, a strong friendship is a good basis for a relationship.

And Zaia, are you implying something....

Post by **Sea Skimmer** » 2002-12-02 12:53am

No, not really, though It might happen if I didn't already have a grilfriend.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-12-02 12:53am

I don't rule friends out as potential dates. But you do have to consider the consequence if the romantic relationship doesn't work because for most guys it's either or. And we weight the friendship we already have pretty high.

Post by **weemadando** » 2002-12-02 12:56am

I think you know my position on this one Zaia.

You were the one who browbeat me into finally asking her out...

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-02 12:57am

weemadando wrote:I think you know my position on this one Zaia.

You were the one who browbeat me into finally asking her out...

*self-satisfied grin* Yes, yes, yes. Problem is, there isn't one of me to browbeat the guy in question for me. So......yeah.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-02 01:00am

Zaia wrote:
weemadando wrote:I think you know my position on this one Zaia.

You were the one who browbeat me into finally asking her out...
*self-satisfied grin* Yes, yes, yes. Problem is, there isn't one of me to browbeat the guy in question for me. So......yeah.

Ah that sucks.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-02 01:00am

My best friend is a girl ( tom-boy ) but she is married to another one of my best friends. So she is not a possible romance.

But for any other girl who is not attached there is gonna be some thoughts deep down inside about a relationship or sex. Its just natural.

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-02 01:05am

TrailerParkJawa wrote:But for any other girl who is not attached there is gonna be some thoughts deep down inside about a relationship or sex. Its just natural.

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? Even if you've known her for a long, long time?

Exxxxxxxxxxcellent.

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-02 01:07am

Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? Even if you've known her for a long, long time?

Exxxxxxxxxxcellent.

Reeeeally!

I can only speak for myself. Ive never been one for sleeping around or a lot of dating. I would view and have viewed some long time female friends with a level of trust that would allow for a sexual relationship. Problem is you might throw away a good friendship if things go wrong.

But then if it works out, you might end up partners for along time and you already have discovered a lot about each other over the years.

I never said it wasnt dangerous.

Stormbringer · Post by **Stormbringer** » 2002-12-02 01:08am

Zaia wrote:
TrailerParkJawa wrote:But for any other girl who is not attached there is gonna be some thoughts deep down inside about a relationship or sex. Its just natural.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? Even if you've known her for a long, long time?

Exxxxxxxxxxcellent.

For most guys, Hell yes! We do notice it on at least some level. Prod us enough and we'll act.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-02 01:08am

Zaia wrote:
TrailerParkJawa wrote:But for any other girl who is not attached there is gonna be some thoughts deep down inside about a relationship or sex. Its just natural.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? Even if you've known her for a long, long time?

Exxxxxxxxxxcellent.

Hell yes. Why do you think we are friends with females in the first place?

Just kidding.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2002-12-02 01:09am

Prod us may not be the correct thing...more like hit us multiple times...and maybe we'll gain notice.

Maybe.

As for yours Zaia...I dunno...keep bringing up conversation that leads in that direction....eventually he'll have to notice something...I mean we aren't THAT dense

TrailerParkJawa · Post by **TrailerParkJawa** » 2002-12-02 01:12am

I would assume that a girl that kept me a friend for a long time would view me as a "FRIEND" you know that dreaded word that means, Id go to a movie with you, but not sleep with you.

So if you care for a guy you've known for a long time, you might have to be "ahem" a little blunt.

The Dark · Post by **The Dark** » 2002-12-02 01:13am

Zaia wrote:
TrailerParkJawa wrote:But for any other girl who is not attached there is gonna be some thoughts deep down inside about a relationship or sex. Its just natural.
Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeally? Even if you've known her for a long, long time?

Exxxxxxxxxxcellent.

Just remember most guys are denser than a wall of bricks for figuring out a girl likes him. I don't know your particular situation, but I have laughed my head off at friends before for being the only people who didn't realize someone had a "thing" for them. If you think your guy friend will understand subtle, go subtle. If not, and you don't think it'll drive him off, be...not blunt, but less subtle. Most of us (even the romantics) really are stupid about romance

.

G'luck

.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-02 01:15am

TrailerParkJawa wrote:I would assume that a girl that kept me a friend for a long time would view me as a "FRIEND" you know that dreaded word that means, Id go to a movie with you, but not sleep with you.

So if you care for a guy you've known for a long time, you might have to be "ahem" a little blunt.

Being seen as a brother sucks even more. And bluntness is oftentimes the only option.

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-02 01:43am

Yes, my traditional role among my guy friends (of whom I have quite a few) is the kickass chick who's an honourary guy because I'm just so cool. Sometimes I get the sister thing, but usually I'm too much of a flirt to get that title.

I do stuff like play PS2 with them (actually beat them at Grand Tourismo 3 and at Virtua Fighter 4 a couple times, mwahahah) and hang out at bars and laugh at (and make) dirty jokes with them, making me 'a guy' to them, or something (????), thereby taking away my attractiveness? Maybe? Is that how that works? I think that stuff would make me a kickass gf, but that's just me...

The fact that I'm into girlie stuff and am, you know, a FEMALE is lost upon them so many times.

It sort of makes me feel like it would be hopeless to try to get them to see me any other way. *shrug* I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe I just have to be relentless. And blunt too. Egad, I don't do blunt very well.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-12-02 01:44am

Zaia dear, first off guys look at all women atleast once to determine if she is "do-able" or not. Its just man-stinct.

That being said, is this the brothers friend you were posting about awhile ago? Good friends can develop into a good relationship, my wife and I were good friends before we started seeing each other and others I have known have gone through simular things.

However, I think Stormbringer said it, you need to look at the over all long range picture. If and when you would break up with him, what would be the so called ripple effect with those around you who also are involved one way or another with both you and him.

Weighing the pro's and con's of any relationship is hard, but to put in the other factors of multiple friendships and relationships in one group, amplifies the potential problems.

One way or another, good luck and do what YOU ultimately think is BEST for you.

Post by **Ghost Rider** » 2002-12-02 01:47am

Knife is right...the ripple effect...bites........hard!

As for being the guy/girl chickie...ouch

While guys do rate women on do-able...having a bond of that level makes it weirder...seriously I've dated many a tom boy but being close and then dating one took me forever and a day and even then it was weird(if you're wondering also the ripple effect).

The problem is somehow having a said guy get over you're a woman and not guy/girl to hang out with...really weird barrier for some honestly.

Post by **Zaia** » 2002-12-02 01:52am

Excellent memory, Knife. No, this is not the same young man that I wrote about in the other thread. That guy (Matt) I have only known for about 2 years. This one (his name's Bryan) I have known for over 11 years and we are now very good friends.

Because we are such good friends, we have over a dozen mutual friends, so if things got nasty in the end it could become rather messy. However, since whenever people ask me to list my ideal man's traits and it ends up being a list of adjectives that describe him, I think it would be worth it to try.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-12-02 01:54am

Zaia wrote:Yes, my traditional role among my guy friends (of whom I have quite a few) is the kickass chick who's an honourary guy because I'm just so cool. Sometimes I get the sister thing, but usually I'm too much of a flirt to get that title.

I do stuff like play PS2 with them (actually beat them at Grand Tourismo 3 and at Virtua Fighter 4 a couple times, mwahahah) and hang out at bars and laugh at (and make) dirty jokes with them, making me 'a guy' to them, or something (????), thereby taking away my attractiveness? Maybe? Is that how that works? I think that stuff would make me a kickass gf, but that's just me...

The fact that I'm into girlie stuff and am, you know, a FEMALE is lost upon them so many times. It sort of makes me feel like it would be hopeless to try to get them to see me any other way. *shrug* I don't know. Maybe not. Maybe I just have to be relentless. And blunt too. Egad, I don't do blunt very well.

For most relationships, one must establish boarders with witch you can't cross too many times. To become "one of the guy's" has advantages with being friends but guys tend to get stuck in a rut and if he is used to seeing you as one of the guy's he might not see you in a relationship type way, though he has already probably rated your "do-ability" long ago.

Knife · Post by **Knife** » 2002-12-02 01:56am

Zaia wrote:Excellent memory, Knife. No, this is not the same young man that I wrote about in the other thread. That guy (Matt) I have only known for about 2 years. This one (his name's Bryan) I have known for over 11 years and we are now very good friends.

Because we are such good friends, we have over a dozen mutual friends, so if things got nasty in the end it could become rather messy. However, since whenever people ask me to list my ideal man's traits and it ends up being a list of adjectives that describe him, I think it would be worth it to try.

Again, it is all up to YOU. But what ever choise you make, please make sure you take enough time to consider all options and all possible outcomes to make sure any out come is acceptable. GOOD LUCK.

neoolong · Post by **neoolong** » 2002-12-02 01:56am

Zaia wrote:Excellent memory, Knife. No, this is not the same young man that I wrote about in the other thread. That guy (Matt) I have only known for about 2 years. This one (his name's Bryan) I have known for over 11 years and we are now very good friends.

Because we are such good friends, we have over a dozen mutual friends, so if things got nasty in the end it could become rather messy. However, since whenever people ask me to list my ideal man's traits and it ends up being a list of adjectives that describe him, I think it would be worth it to try.

Yeah, but you would have to consider whether he would want to risk it as well. To him having a great friend within the circle of mutual friends might be worth more than risking a relationship.

StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Whom do you consider?

Whom do you consider?

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