StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Inspired by the "Bible by SMS" thread in N&P, I would like to point you all to a handy dictionary for translating from English to Moron.

http://www.transl8it.com/

Man, the truth really hurts... for the morons.

Let's see...


2 boldly go whr n mang hz gone b4.

A lng tym ago n a galaxy fR fR awA...

som sA dat Lyf Bgan out ther.

Kneel b4 yor god!



Somehow it's not the same.

ther roLz d dEp whr grew d trE.
O erth, wot chAngz hast thou cn!
ther whr d lng st. roars, hath Bin
d stillness of d central sea.
d hiLz R shadows, & dey flO
frm form 2 form, & Nuttin stNdz;
dey melt lIk mist, d solid lands,
lIk clouds dey shAp themslvs & go. - n Memoriam A.H.H. by Tennyson


d unpurged images of dA recede;
d Emperors drunken soldiery R abed;
nyt resonance recedes, nyt walkers' song
aftR gr8 cathedral gong;
A starlit o a moonlit dome disdains
aL dat mang iz,
aL mere complexities,
d fury & d mire of hUmN veins.
b4 me floats an image, mang o shade,
Shade mo thN mang, mo image thN a shade;
4 Hades bobbin bound n mummy-cloth
mA unwind d winding path;
A mouth dat hz n moisture & n breath
brethlS mouths mA summon;
I hail d superhuman;
I caL it death-in-life & life-in-death.
Miracle, bird o golden handiwork,
mo miracle thN bird o handiwork,
Planted on d star-lit golden bough,
cn lIk d ==Bz of Hades crow,
o, by d moon embittered, scorn aloud
n glory of changeless metL
comN bird o petal
& aL complexities of mire o bl%d.
@ midnIt on d Emperors pavement flit
Flames dat n faggot feeds, nor steel hz lit,
Nor storm disturbs, flames begotten of flame,
whr blood-begotten spirits cum
& aL complexities of fury Leav,
dyn in2 a dance,
An agony of trance,
An agony of flame dat Cnot singe a sleeve.
Astraddle on d dolphins mire & bl%d,
Spirit aftR Spirit! d smithies brAk d flood.
d golden smithies of d Emperor!
Marbles of d dancing flOr
brAk bitter fur - Byzantium busy with. Yeats


Somehow, poetry translated into moron leaves much to be desired. Old Yeats and Tennyson just don't seem to stand up to the pure idiocy.

WE ARE STARDESTROYER.NET. YOU WILL LOWER YOUR FIREWALLS AND SURRENDER YOUR KEYBOARDS. WE WILL ADD YOUR INTELLECTUAL AND VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS TO OUR OWN. YOUR FORUMS WILL ADAPT TO SERVICE US. RESISTANCE IS FUTILE.

turned into

WE R STARDESTROYER.NET. U wiL lowR yor FIREWALLS & SURRENDER yor [abc]S. WE wiL + yor INTELLECTUAL & VERNACULAR DISTINCTIVENESS 2 OUR OWN. yor 4mS wiL ADAPT 2 srvic us. RESISTANCE iz FUTILE.


You're right, its just not the same.

We d ppl of d United st8z, n ordr 2 form a mo perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestK tranquility, provide 4 d comN defense, promote d genRL welfare, & secure d blessings of liberty 2 ourselves & our posterity, do ordain & establish DIS Constitution 4 d United st8z of America.

I guess the morons can't handle the big words ...

Surlethe wrote:We d ppl of d United st8z, n ordr 2 form a mo perfect union, establish justice, ensure domestK tranquility, provide 4 d comN defense, promote d genRL welfare, & secure d blessings of liberty 2 ourselves & our posterity, do ordain & establish DIS Constitution 4 d United st8z of America.

I guess the morons can't handle the big words ...

And yet, replace some of the more offensively stupid letter-replacements with fancy characters, and it begins to resemble a serviceable phonetic alphabet. The sad, sad evolution of our beautifully complex written alphabet into a simple and dirty phonetic one continues at a growing pace.

Let's all switch to Japanese or Mandarin Chinese. There's no way to fuck with those types of languages this badly except maybe to draw the characters as little stick figures.

Dear God I hope Virgin Mobile Asia Division or whoever doesn't read this message.

n d beginN d universe wz creatD. DIS hz mAd a lot of ppl Grr & hz Bin widely regRdD az a bad muv.

"Angry" translates to "Grr".

Ha! That's awesome, Wong!

4 scor & 7 yr.z ago our fathRz brawt forth on DIS contiNt, a nu n8tN, conceived n Liberty, & dedicated 2 d propositN dat aL men R creatD =.

nw we R engaged n a gr8 civL wR, tstn wethR dat n8tN, o NE n8tN so conceived & so dedicated, cn lng endure. We R met on a gr8 battle-field of dat wR. We hav cum 2 dedicate a portion of dat feLd, az a fInL rStN plAc 4 thOs hu hEr gave thR lives dat dat n8tN mite live. It iz al2gethr fitting & propR dat we shud do DIS.

bt, n a larger senS, we cn not dedicate -- we cn not consecrate -- we cn not hallow -- DIS ground. d brave men, living & ded, hu struggled hEr, hav consecrated it, fR abof our pOr powR 2 + o detract. d wrld wiL ltl nOt, nor lng remMbR wot we sA hEr, bt it cn nevr 4get wot dey did hEr. It iz 4 us d living, rather, 2 b dedicated hEr 2 d unfinished wrk whch dey hu fought hEr hav thus fR so nobly advncd. It iz rather 4 us 2 b hEr dedicated 2 d gr8 task remaining b4 us -- dat frm dEz honRD ded we tAk NcrEsD devotion 2 dat coz 4 whch dey gave d last full mesuR of devotion -- dat we hEr hIlE resolve dat dEz ded shaL not hav died n vain -- dat DIS n8tN, shaL hav a nu birth of freedom -- & dat government of d ppl, by d ppl, 4 d ppl, shaL not perish frm d erth.

I tink I jst 404 a significant portion of my brain function jst acknowledging d concept of such a site.

I can't get the link to work...

Why do you need an English to Moron translator when you could get the real thing with higher quality?

A moron wrote: oh yea nd for all the people that say-YOU CANT HELP BEING GAY-well your wrong, this is the kind of society we live in we think gay is ok.since when???

if u cant help it then why havent we heard about gays wehn our parents were kids??? some freak in another country or something brought over the idea of having sex with animals nd same gender, hence our screwed up media is trying to control our generation by making us think its *ok to be different, figure these things out* You see 30000 media images per day! thats kind of scary because thats a FACT....nd only 4% of our teen generation will be christians when they get older-thats a SCARY THOUGHT! what will life be liike for your kids??? think about it

See what I mean? That's some quality idiocy. The simple heuristics of the translator just can't compare.

n Xanadu did Kublai Khan

a st8lE pleasure-dome decree,

whr Alph, d sacred rivR, ran

Thru caverns measureless 2 mang

dwn 2 a sunless sea

Hold yor ground, hold yor ground. Sons of Gondor, of Rohan, my bros. I c n yor eyes d sAm fear dat wud tAk d hart of me. A dA mA cum wen d courage of men fails, wen we forsake our fRnds & brAk aL bonds of fellowship, bt it iz not DIS dA. An hr of woes & shattered shields, wen d age of men cumz crashing dwn, bt it iz not DIS dA. DIS dA we fite! By aL dat U hold dEr on DIS gud erth, I bid U stNd, Men of d West!

Ow.

Don't underestimate the power of the Force!
dun underestimate d powR of d Force!


Power...unlimited power!
powR... powR!


Remember, the Force will be with you always.
remMbR, d Force wiL b w U alwys.


I'll be back!
Ill b bak!
(What do you know this one actually sounds right!)

To quote Sir Winston Churchill...

We shaL go on 2 d nd, we shaL fite n France, we shaL fite on d seas & oceans, we shaL fite w grON confidNc & grON strength n d air, we shaL defend our islnd, wutevA d cost mA b, we shaL fite on d beaches, we shaL fite on d landing grounds, we shaL fite n d feLdz & n d st.z, we shaL fite n d hiLz; we shaL nevr surrender.

I think that was the sound of the English language finally raising a white flag...

sketerpot wrote:Why do you need an English to Moron translator when you could get the real thing with higher quality?

A moron wrote: oh yea nd for all the people that say-YOU CANT HELP BEING GAY-well your wrong, this is the kind of society we live in we think gay is ok.since when???

if u cant help it then why havent we heard about gays wehn our parents were kids??? some freak in another country or something brought over the idea of having sex with animals nd same gender, hence our screwed up media is trying to control our generation by making us think its *ok to be different, figure these things out* You see 30000 media images per day! thats kind of scary because thats a FACT....nd only 4% of our teen generation will be christians when they get older-thats a SCARY THOUGHT! what will life be liike for your kids??? think about it

See what I mean? That's some quality idiocy. The simple heuristics of the translator just can't compare.

Where the hell is that taking place? I have a sudden desire to flame the shit out of this moron.

I know you're probably on it, but I still want to see.

MRDOD wrote:Let's all switch to Japanese or Mandarin Chinese. There's no way to fuck with those types of languages this badly except maybe to draw the characters as little stick figures.

Dear God I hope Virgin Mobile Asia Division or whoever doesn't read this message.

You expect people who can't even spell the simplest words properly to be able to memorize tens of thousands of characters for daily use?

n Soviet Russia, txt transl8z U.

The logic behind the bastardization of language (if there is any) is that it saves time--on your keyboard and especially your phone, it's faster to put in "4" than "for". But it seems to me that any time thus "saved" will be wasted at the other end, because one has to strain the brain comprehending such text.

So does the "shorthand" actually save time? I doubt it.

General_Soontir_Fel wrote:The logic behind the bastardization of language (if there is any) is that it saves time--on your keyboard and especially your phone, it's faster to put in "4" than "for". But it seems to me that any time thus "saved" will be wasted at the other end, because one has to strain the brain comprehending such text.

So does the "shorthand" actually save time? I doubt it.

IOW (snicker) its lazyness.

“‘tis swEt & commendable n yor natuR, Hamlet, 2 GIV dEz mourning duties 2 yor father…but 2 persevere…’tis unmanly grief.” Claudius lines 84 – 94

“what hav U, my gud fRnds, deserved @ d h&z of dat sndz U 2 a prison hither?” Hamlet

“O’ god. A beast w discourse 4 rEsN wud hav mourn’d 4 longer” hamlet, 1st soliloquy, lines 150 –151

this does not do shakespear justice.

Davis 51 wrote:n Soviet Russia, txt transl8z U.

Hah! I'm putting that in my sig.