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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, November 30, 2002

I'm happy to inform you that the company Christmas Party will take place on December 23rd at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue. There will be lots of spiked
eggnog and a small band playing traditional carols... feel free to sing along. And don't be surprised if our CEO shows up dressed as Santa Claus
to light the Christmas tree! Exchange of gifts among employees can be done at that time; however, no gift should be over $10.

Merry Christmas to you and your family!

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 3, 2002

In no way was Friday's memo intended to exclude our Jewish employees. We recognize that Hanukkah is an important holiday that often coincides
with Christmas. From now on we're calling the annual office celebration our "Holiday Party". The same policy applies to employees who are
celebrating Kwanzaa at this time. There will be no Christmas tree and no Christmas carols sung.

Happy Holidays to you and your family!

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 4, 2002

Regarding the anonymous note I received from a member of Alcoholics Anonymous requesting a non-drinking table, I'm happy to accommodate this
request. However, don't forget, if I put a sign on the table that reads, "AA Only", you won't be anonymous anymore. In addition, forget about the
gifts exchange. No gifts will be allowed since the union members feel that $10 is too much money.

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 5, 2002

I've arranged for members of Overeaters Anonymous to sit farthest from the dessert buffet and pregnant women closest to the restrooms. Gays are
allowed to sit with each other. Lesbians do not have to sit with the gay men; each will have their own table. Yes, there will be a flower arrangement for the gay men's table.
Happy now?

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 6, 2002

People, people -- nothing sinister was intended by wanting our CEO to play Santa Claus! Even if the anagram of "Santa" does happen to be "Satan".
There is no evil connotation to our own "little man in a red suit".

Patty Lewis, Human Resources Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 7, 2002

Vegetarians -- I've had it with you people! We're going to hold this party at Luigi's Open Pit Barbecue whether you like it or not. You can just
sit at the table farthest from the "grill of death", as you put it, and you'll get salad bar only, including hydroponics tomatoes. But, you know,
tomatoes have feelings, too. They scream when you slice them. I've heard them scream. I'm hearing them right now... Ha! I hope you all have a rotten
holiday! Drive drunk and die, you hear me?

The Bitch from Hell, Human Resurces Director

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TO: ALL EMPLOYEES, December 10, 2002

I'm sure I speak for all of us in wishing Patty Lewis a speedy recovery from her stress-related illness. I'll continue to forward your cards to
her at the sanitarium. In the meantime, management has decided to cancel our Holiday Party and give everyone the afternoon of December
23rd off with full pay.

Happy Holidays!

Terri Bishop, Acting Human Resources Director

lol, that's actually quite funny....uh...at least I hope it was a joke and it wasn't a real message from your company.

brothersinarm wrote:lol, that's actually quite funny....uh...at least I hope it was a joke and it wasn't a real message from your company.

It's a joke.

By saying Merry Christmas to you and your family they're offending people without families.

brothersinarm wrote:lol, that's actually quite funny....uh...at least I hope it was a joke and it wasn't a real message from your company.

It’s a sad state of affairs when you could even consider that this was not a joke..

The really sad thing is that I was not 100% sure.

Oh and BTW ***POKE***

Faram wrote:

brothersinarm wrote:lol, that's actually quite funny....uh...at least I hope it was a joke and it wasn't a real message from your company.

It’s a sad state of affairs when you could even consider that this was not a joke..

The really sad thing is that I was not 100% sure.

Oh and BTW ***POKE***

With all the wierd stuff going on in tihs world, I first thought it was real too.

Sorry guys, should have put a disclaimer on it. My wife Emailed it too me and I thought it was funny as hell, so just slapped it up for you all to enjoy.

But the hummor is deffinately the kind of "hey, that could happen. Right?"

I really thought that was true, except for the last bit about the HRD having a little "break".