LOTR - Stravo's Gripes (SPOILERS)
Posted: 2002-12-18 01:11pm
I saw the Two Towers at the Midnight show in Manhattan last night. FIRST let me get this out of the way. It was a good movie, I enjoyed it but this thread is about things that really irked me about the movie independent from how good it is. For all those LOTR zombies that will flame and attack...a loud and proud FUCK YOU and you WILL be ignored in this thread if you simply flame. There are points being made that should be addressed. So, for the vast majority of us on this board that are rational human beings let's discuss these points and let me have your thoughts on this:
1) The Elves joining the battle of Helm's Deep WTF?!?!? The Battle of Helm's Deep was about Man's entry into the War of the Ring and his first great stand against the shadow. When the Elves show up it just pollutes the entire purpose of the Battle to show the bravery of the Rohirrim. C'mon, when I saw this I groaned outloud. It was sooooo tacky, cheesy, forulaic and UNTOLKIENLIKE. What purpose did the Elves have in showing up, they were FLEEING MIddle Earth at this time, no one was going to march Elven archers to war when the vast majority were gone or going. It made NO SENSE and violated one of the basic precepts of the whole story. This is the dawn of the Age of Man. Man stands up for himself and saves the world from shadow. This whole theme was even present in FOTR for fuck's sake when Elrond asks Gandalf who will he call upon to save Middle Earth. "It is to men we will look." Oh yeah...men and a whole gaggle of Elven archers Christ the more I write about it the more it pisses me off.
2) The Castration of King Theoden OK. I LIKED how they portrayed Theoden as this decaying old man and then suddenly Gandalf shows up and Theoden shakes himself free of his indecision and old age and he becomes this proud powerful man, just like in the books. BUT then they goon to portray Theoden as this indecsiive guy who flees to Helm's Deep to seek refuge. last time I read it, they went to Helm's Deep to MAKE A STAND. NOT HIDE OUT. This violates another major plot line and BUTCHERS a great character. Theoden is shown as this pompous ass who is looking to just save his people and hopes to whether the storm, and he wonders how did it come to this, and he even wonders if his men will stay loyal to him during the fight. His resolve has to be constantly butressed by Gandalf and Aragorn. WTF?!?!? Theoden was a kicker of ass and taker of names in the books. His resolve did not falter. And then blasphemy of blasphemies, Aragorn speaks the lines that Theoden was supposed to speak about riding forth into one last battle. FUCK. One of my favoriite lines in the books was Theoden when HE BUTRESSES ARAGORN'S RESOLVE by saying that they will ride forth and make their deaths worthy of song. GOD that pissed me off when I saw that.
3) The ASSASINATION OF FARAMIR'S CHARACTER Faramir in the movie was portrayed to be a Bormoir clone when in fact in the books he is shown to be NOTHING like Bormoir. GUESS WHAT? Faramir was SUPPOSED to be different than Bormoir. In the books he does not even want to look at the ring and he sends Frodo on his way. What does this show? That there are still good strong willed men that are honorable and it shows what Boromir should have been. Seriously, WHY did they have to make Farmair like Bormoir, the same point would have been gotten across the way Tolkien wrote it, instead, what we get is a Boromir clone that changes his mind at the last second and rather reluctantly I might add. Why not call him Boromir II and get it over with?? Christ this was nearly vomit inducing.
4) Additional Scenes that added NOTHING to the story When I saw some of these additonal scenes (Galadriel's telepathic speech with Elrond was particulalrly cringe inducing) I thought, Pete Jackson wants to write his own LOTR. He is like B&B in the sense that TTT should be given the same monicker as Boobyprise (inspired by LOTR) The Warg attack, COMPLETELY UNNECCESARY FLUFF that only set us up for some contrived Aragorn bullshit scenes that were useless and added NOTHING to the story. UGH. Frodo being taken to Osgoliath....WHY??!!?!? What purpose did that scene show other than...ohhhh...Frodo is being corrupted by the Ring. Give me a fucking break.
Mind you I am NOT advocating that some fleshing out should not be done, I was particulalry impressed with how the Eowen and Aragorn romantic triangle was played out. BUt guess what, that served a PURPOSE in the story, Warg scene..NOTHING...think of it this way, if it had been edited it out would you have missed it??
5) No Shelob C'MON. Tolkien had a PERFECT ending for TTT. Frodo fights Shelob, is taken prisoner at Minas Morgul leaving Sam wondering how he was going to save Frodo. HELLO??!? Would not THAT have been the perfect ending? It would have been akin to the Han Solo in Carbonite thing...leaving people to wonder for a whole year HOW is Sam going to save Frodo (for those few of us who have not read the book) So that leaves P. Jackson with three hours in ROTK to tell the tale of Frodo's fight with Shelob, his torture and rescue at Minas Morgul, the Siege of Gondor, the march and battle at the Black Gate, the defeat of Saruman, and the Destruction of the Ring....OK, I predict a rushed last movie if this holds true.
Oh and the small nits that just bugged me.
The magical horses: One we have Theoden in his hall and Aragorn says lets ride forth, camera cuts to the orcs chopping the last of the door down, camera cuts back, Theoden and Company are all mounted and ready for battle...OK, those are some magical horses to just appear like that in a span of seconds. Two, the charge of Eomer down a STEEP ROCKY INCLINE with heavy horse wearing full armor....broken legs perhaps?...those are some tough magical horses.
These are my thoughts, I'd like to hear yours.
1) The Elves joining the battle of Helm's Deep WTF?!?!? The Battle of Helm's Deep was about Man's entry into the War of the Ring and his first great stand against the shadow. When the Elves show up it just pollutes the entire purpose of the Battle to show the bravery of the Rohirrim. C'mon, when I saw this I groaned outloud. It was sooooo tacky, cheesy, forulaic and UNTOLKIENLIKE. What purpose did the Elves have in showing up, they were FLEEING MIddle Earth at this time, no one was going to march Elven archers to war when the vast majority were gone or going. It made NO SENSE and violated one of the basic precepts of the whole story. This is the dawn of the Age of Man. Man stands up for himself and saves the world from shadow. This whole theme was even present in FOTR for fuck's sake when Elrond asks Gandalf who will he call upon to save Middle Earth. "It is to men we will look." Oh yeah...men and a whole gaggle of Elven archers Christ the more I write about it the more it pisses me off.
2) The Castration of King Theoden OK. I LIKED how they portrayed Theoden as this decaying old man and then suddenly Gandalf shows up and Theoden shakes himself free of his indecision and old age and he becomes this proud powerful man, just like in the books. BUT then they goon to portray Theoden as this indecsiive guy who flees to Helm's Deep to seek refuge. last time I read it, they went to Helm's Deep to MAKE A STAND. NOT HIDE OUT. This violates another major plot line and BUTCHERS a great character. Theoden is shown as this pompous ass who is looking to just save his people and hopes to whether the storm, and he wonders how did it come to this, and he even wonders if his men will stay loyal to him during the fight. His resolve has to be constantly butressed by Gandalf and Aragorn. WTF?!?!? Theoden was a kicker of ass and taker of names in the books. His resolve did not falter. And then blasphemy of blasphemies, Aragorn speaks the lines that Theoden was supposed to speak about riding forth into one last battle. FUCK. One of my favoriite lines in the books was Theoden when HE BUTRESSES ARAGORN'S RESOLVE by saying that they will ride forth and make their deaths worthy of song. GOD that pissed me off when I saw that.
3) The ASSASINATION OF FARAMIR'S CHARACTER Faramir in the movie was portrayed to be a Bormoir clone when in fact in the books he is shown to be NOTHING like Bormoir. GUESS WHAT? Faramir was SUPPOSED to be different than Bormoir. In the books he does not even want to look at the ring and he sends Frodo on his way. What does this show? That there are still good strong willed men that are honorable and it shows what Boromir should have been. Seriously, WHY did they have to make Farmair like Bormoir, the same point would have been gotten across the way Tolkien wrote it, instead, what we get is a Boromir clone that changes his mind at the last second and rather reluctantly I might add. Why not call him Boromir II and get it over with?? Christ this was nearly vomit inducing.
4) Additional Scenes that added NOTHING to the story When I saw some of these additonal scenes (Galadriel's telepathic speech with Elrond was particulalrly cringe inducing) I thought, Pete Jackson wants to write his own LOTR. He is like B&B in the sense that TTT should be given the same monicker as Boobyprise (inspired by LOTR) The Warg attack, COMPLETELY UNNECCESARY FLUFF that only set us up for some contrived Aragorn bullshit scenes that were useless and added NOTHING to the story. UGH. Frodo being taken to Osgoliath....WHY??!!?!? What purpose did that scene show other than...ohhhh...Frodo is being corrupted by the Ring. Give me a fucking break.
Mind you I am NOT advocating that some fleshing out should not be done, I was particulalry impressed with how the Eowen and Aragorn romantic triangle was played out. BUt guess what, that served a PURPOSE in the story, Warg scene..NOTHING...think of it this way, if it had been edited it out would you have missed it??
5) No Shelob C'MON. Tolkien had a PERFECT ending for TTT. Frodo fights Shelob, is taken prisoner at Minas Morgul leaving Sam wondering how he was going to save Frodo. HELLO??!? Would not THAT have been the perfect ending? It would have been akin to the Han Solo in Carbonite thing...leaving people to wonder for a whole year HOW is Sam going to save Frodo (for those few of us who have not read the book) So that leaves P. Jackson with three hours in ROTK to tell the tale of Frodo's fight with Shelob, his torture and rescue at Minas Morgul, the Siege of Gondor, the march and battle at the Black Gate, the defeat of Saruman, and the Destruction of the Ring....OK, I predict a rushed last movie if this holds true.
Oh and the small nits that just bugged me.
The magical horses: One we have Theoden in his hall and Aragorn says lets ride forth, camera cuts to the orcs chopping the last of the door down, camera cuts back, Theoden and Company are all mounted and ready for battle...OK, those are some magical horses to just appear like that in a span of seconds. Two, the charge of Eomer down a STEEP ROCKY INCLINE with heavy horse wearing full armor....broken legs perhaps?...those are some tough magical horses.
These are my thoughts, I'd like to hear yours.