StarDestroyer.Net BBS

Just heard this. Thought I would share.

News reporter.: "There are more crimes in Britain now, due to the huge rise in the crime rate."

LOL!

A few quotes from the worlds most powerfull moron:

As young Americans, you have an important responsibility, which is to become good citizens.
-- George W. Bush, in a June, 2001, letter to British students at Oakhill College in Lancashire, England.

No.
-- George W. Bush, responding to Dallas Morning News reporter Wayne Slater's 1998 question asking "Were you ever arrested after 1968?".

Yeah, Right!

No quoting Dubya. Too easy.

Well, not exactly relating to the thread, but amusing nonetheless:

"I hate quotations." Ralph Waldo Emerson

There are a lot of amusing quotes in poorly dubbed movies.

"I'll cut youe fats out, don't you believe me?", from "It's Now or Never", I believe.

I always got a kick out of Dan Qualye's flubs (and these aren't typos):

"In 1988, the question is whether we're going to go forward to tomorrow, or we're going to go past to the back."

"And the future will be better tomorrow."

"Bobby Knight told me this: there is nothing that a good defense can not beat a better offense."

"I was known as the cheif grave robber in my state."

"Hawaii has always been a very pivotal role in the Pacific. It is in the Pacific. It is a part of the United States that is an island, that is right here."

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:There are a lot of amusing quotes in poorly dubbed movies.

"I'll cut youe fats out, don't you believe me?", from "It's Now or Never", I believe.

Speaking of poorly dubbed things, one can always quote from that "all your base are belong to us" game

"The Internet: More information on more subjects then you ever thought or wanted to know about"-Colin Witz

"Oh, my god it's full of Spam."-What if the Monolith had shown Dave Bowman AOL instead.

"You cant make chicken salad out of chicken"

"I know who I am. No one else knows who I am. If I was a giraffe and somebody said I was a snake, I'd think 'No, actually I am a giraffe.'
-- Richard Gere

That one is pretty good.

A restaraunt sign.

Restrooms
Please
Wait for
Hostess
to seat you

"No, I'm telling you, the kidney isn't on the left; its on the right!"

"It ain't over til it's over."

This is my favourite from that website...

"Coming on to pitch is Mike Moore, who is six-foot-one and 212 years old." ~ Herb Score, Sportscaster ~

And I just have to add this one, since those blasted Aussies are always making jokes about stupid Americans. Yes, there ARE some dumb Aussies out there too. *sticks tongue out*

"Traditionally, most of Australia's imports come from overseas."
~ Former Australian cabinet minister Keppel Enderbery ~

Most of the dialogue from Plan 9 From Outer Space.

paladin wrote:"It ain't over til it's over."

You gotta love Yogi. Most of them make sense in a strange way. My brother-in-law once showed why he said "When you come to a fork in the road take it". When you're driving to his house, what appears to be a fork is really only a curve in the road. The other is actually a driveway.

Now my favorite dumb quote:

"Is the complimentary champagne free?"

I was actually asked this once.

Phil Skayhan wrote:

paladin wrote:"It ain't over til it's over."

Now my favorite dumb quote:

"Is the complimentary champagne free?"

I was actually asked this once.

What idiot said that?

Another Yogi Berra favorite....

"Half of this game is 90% mental."

A crack in the event horizon is the dumbest quote I've ever heard.

This one's an all time classic:

"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff." - Mariah Carey

"You got to be careful if you don't know where you're going, because you might not get there."-Yogi Berra

Eric Cantona (disgraced fench football player) "Seagulls follow the trawler in the hope that fish will be thrown back" or something like that.

"We signed to play until the day we died, and we did."
Jimmy Greaves. ITV (U.K.)

I remember when after Saddam Hussein was "elected" a couple months back, and 100% of all voters voted for him, someone in the media thought it was a sign that Iraqis supported Hussein. I think the exact quote was something like this:

100% of all Iraqis went to the polls with the same thought: "Yes to Saddam Hussein"!

Of course, when you have no other option, what would you expect the results to be?