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You have been elected President of the United States on your own 3rd party ticket. Amazingly, your party holds a Congressional majority, and, also amazingly, the entire Supreme Court has just retired.

You are so popular that you are guarenteed a second term election, as long as you do not do anything stupendously stupid or harsh.

So, how do you run the US for these 8 yrs?

SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY! OFFENDERS WILL BE SHOT!

HemlockGrey wrote:You have been elected President of the United States on your own 3rd party ticket. Amazingly, your party holds a Congressional majority, and, also amazingly, the entire Supreme Court has just retired.

Since I'm not born in the US and there ineligible, the first thing I do is forge a birth certificate from New York State.

You are so popular that you are guarenteed a second term election, as long as you do not do anything stupendously stupid or harsh.

"Stupid" can be avoided. "Harsh" will be difficult.

So, how do you run the US for these 8 yrs?

Anal Sex For Everyone!!!

SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY! OFFENDERS WILL BE SHOT!

Too late.

Darth Wong wrote:

HemlockGrey wrote:So, how do you run the US for these 8 yrs?

Anal Sex For Everyone!!!

How did I know that would come?

Ted wrote:

Darth Wong wrote:

HemlockGrey wrote:So, how do you run the US for these 8 yrs?

Anal Sex For Everyone!!!

How did I know that would come?

I agree with Mike that legalizing sodomy would make sense.

As president, I would cut taxes, and make the government smaller (although this would put thousands of people out of work, it would cost less to run the government)

Then, I would set higher standards for teachers, make Evolution mandatory teaching, even in religous schools, and set a minimum number of hours a year schools have to be focusing on core subjects, such as math, science, and English.

Then, I would decriminalize the posession of marijuana, to free up prison space, lower thge drinking age to 18 because many people under 21 drink anyway, and American beer is pisswater, and you shouldn't have to wait until you're 21 to drink it. The German beer is the good stuff, you should be over 21 to buy it there.

As for the Middle East, I would end aid to Israel, and let Europe negotiate peace there. I'm president of the United States, not the world.

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I agree with Mike that legalizing sodomy would make sense.

Is sodomy currently *illegal* in the states?

Is sodomy currently *illegal* in the states?

Each state has its own laws. In some states it is still illegal to get a blow job from your wife.

Sir Sirius wrote:

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I agree with Mike that legalizing sodomy would make sense.

Is sodomy currently *illegal* in the states?

Well politicians are allowed to do it to everyone but only when it's in an official capacity. If it's for personal pleasure they fall, more or less, under the same laws as everyone else.

In a lot of states if you dig through the active laws long enough it isn't too unlikely to find out that the only thing allowed is missionary postion sex between a married man and woman. Even that might have restricitons on it.

Supposedly the US military's Uniform Code of Military Justice only allows missionary position sex. I do know that military personel can be charged for adultery under the UCMJ. Usually that only happens if someone complains (usually the civilian partner of one of the people involved).

The ACLU maintains a list of states with represssive sex laws. In three states, even vibrators are illegal, and a woman can face fine and even imprisonment for possessing one.

Scirbble out all the sexual repression laws and write in anti-creationism laws.

HemlockGrey wrote:You have been elected President of the United States on your own 3rd party ticket. Amazingly, your party holds a Congressional majority, and, also amazingly, the entire Supreme Court has just retired.

You are so popular that you are guarenteed a second term election, as long as you do not do anything stupendously stupid or harsh.

So, how do you run the US for these 8 yrs?

SERIOUS REPLIES ONLY! OFFENDERS WILL BE SHOT!

I only need four. I'd repeal Amendments XVI XVII, and XXVI (Assuming the Congressional majority is large enough) in their entirety. The voting age would again be twenty-one, Senators would be appointed direct by states, and there would be no income tax. I'd then replace the income tax with an amendment establishing a sales tax fixed at 6%.

Another amendment would establish term limits for the House of Representatives at a single term, and give their districts the power to recall them in special votes if they were not pleased with their performance.

Amendment number XXX would define the exact meaning of II and abolish the right of the Federal Government to regulate firearms in any fashion; that right would rest wholly with the individual states.

EDIT: Amendment XXXI; giving voting representation in the House of Representations to all American territorial Districts, Commonwealths, and etc (Puerto Rico, D.C., Virgin Isles, Guam, Samoa, etc) - No senators, but they would they would be able to vote genuine voting representatives into the House of Representatives based on population like the rest of us. (Realized I'd left something out.)

After that I'd concentrate on hacking the bueaucracy down to size and eliminating all the unnecessary socialist care and pork to the states, which if they want money they can levy taxes for it on their own.

I'd only last one term, but if my party had a controlling supermajority in both houses (yeah, right), that's all I'd need.

Become the 11th Province (or 4th Territory).

http://www.lp.org

My platform, basially.

War for everyone. Iraq will be overrun was quickly as possibul and half of all future oil revenues will go towards my war machine. The UN's headquarters will be declared a protected bird habitat after one gets in through and open window and all UN workers will be forced to relocate elsewhere.

- Half the defense budget and close half the military bases, starting with the off-shore ones, and use the money saved on education.
- Stop all aid to Israel and use the money saved on education.
- Stop all aid to all ecclestial organizations and give the money to secular organizations doing the same things.
- Start taxin religions and use the money gained on education.
- Remove the words "In God We Trust" from all bills.
- Make a televiced speech declaring my Atheism and explaning why I am an Atheist and why that is a good thing.
- Legalize marihuana, sodomy, fellatio, cunnilingus, prostitution, oh hell I'd remove all the stupid sex laws.
- I'd call Jerry Falwell and Jack Chick publically stupid ignorant biggots.
- I'd publically accuse the Catholic Church of helping HIV spread in 3rd world coutries and then I'd politely ask that they pull their heads out of their asses.
- I'd call all creationists stupid ignoramuses and suggest that they pull their heads out of their asses and read a few books writen by people who actualy know something about biology (Darwin, Dawkings, Gould Etc.).
- I'd admit publically that I like to get my cock sucked during office hours.
+ Lot's of other funky stuff.

First of all, I'd get rid of all the idiotic laws that serve no clear purpose. Since the Supreme Court is out of action, I'd limit Congress's war powers and give them to the Presidency. I would then officially Smack Iraq, then annihilate any other country which wants to fuck around, e.g., most Middle Eastern and African countries. I'd increase funding for defense, military R&D (I want that Land Warrior program, damnit!), and military ops in general. I'd then remove all traces of religion from the government and the military, but otherwise leave it intact. Most things involving sex would be perfectly legal, especially porn. In my second term, I'd make a 2-year military service required for all citizens, and increase benefits and pay for those who stay on longer. I would also try to put more money in NASA's budget as well.

Fortunately none of you will ever be president...

Oh, and I'd illegalize pop-ups. Man do those things piss me off.

When I'm elected president:

Legalize abortion

Repeal all gun-control laws (except the ones that say that you must have a clean record and a psy-profile in order to buy one)

Make evolution mandatory in all public schools (by amendment)

Ignore Iraq and rip apart Israel

Repeal all anti-porn and anti-sexually-repressive laws

Lower taxes on small businesses

And most important of all: Provide ANSWERS, not rhetoric as all politicians do..

hm. put everyone 18-20 in uniform. cut welfare. let the corporations into space. freedom of sexuality act (you can do whatever if the participants are willing). make rape a hanging offense. free trade with everyone. free immigration. more spending on the enviroment and green production methods. legilization of voultary euthanasia. percentage based tax system. annex canada and mexico. use the military against repressive regimes.

Cut military budget by 10%, shorten copyrights for text (including sheet music) 20 years, video to 4, and audio and software to 2, shorten software patents to 18 months, raise voting age, ban any hint of religion from government, raise teacher standards, spend money saved on military on education. Make comments. More later

Eliminate welfare and other social programmes.

Allow police to be more brutal in arrests and crowd control.

Wall off the ghettos and let them kill each other for food.

And make all copyrights indefinate. (die, you fucking socialist pirates...)

Corruption will be punished by 50 years in jail. Make government smaller and used money saved on research. Make all government computers use linux/BSD/Solaris/etc. One will be able to vote for more than 1 party in order of preference to allow 3rd parties to have a better chance of winning. Campaign donations will be banned; money will be provided by government. Ads run by 3rd parties in favor of a candidate will be allowed to protect free speech. Cut welfare and spend money on education. Use mil against repressive regimes.

Everything talen said except :free immigration, put everyone 18-20 in uniform, and annexing Canada and Mexico

you have no sense of adventure. that would increase our population quite nicely, let a good size army of new people march into the guns of all the nasties of the world.

Except that mandatory conscription is completely unnecessary.

So is the annexing Canada bit. The Ever-Victorious Army(consisting of three rifles and a truck) has already annexed Canada(now Greater Montana) along with France and all of Nigeria.

Plutonium, you sound like such a immature socialist pirate...