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Q comes along and gives you the power to change a five minute segment of any ( ) movie you want to anything that makes logical sense within the movie. But you can only do this once. What do you change, and why?

I would apone recieving this power would put myself on the auxiallary bridge of the Executor and have the ship not chrash, because I can't see such a lovely ship go down so easily.

i´d only need 5 seconds and i´d kick out legolas´ awfully cooool skateboarding scene in TTT.

Independence Day.
I'd get rid of Bill Pullman's shitty speech.

Ex nay Greedo shooting first.

Thel Elvish telepathty scene from The Two Towers. Egh that was the worst possible thing they could have done.

Instead of that fucking A-wing, rebel transports laden with explosives kamakazie the Executor, and she dies a real death, not the childish, idiotic travesty she got in ROTJ.

Er...wait, scratch that. Any and all mention of midiclorions are cut from Ep. 1. If they're kept, they'll be reduced to a RESULT of force sensitivity, not the cause. And scratch that Goddamned virgin birth shit. And the prophecy nonsense. If I wanted Christian overtones, I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia.

If I wanted Christian overtones, I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia.

The Chronicles of Narnia are fine books!

Its tough, I'd probably alter the daft exploding vampire bits of Blade....they looked awful.

HemlockGrey wrote:

If I wanted Christian overtones, I'd read the Chronicles of Narnia.

The Chronicles of Narnia are fine books!

I didn't say they weren't. I'm just saying if I wanted thinly veiled references to Christianity, I'd read them instead of watching Star Wars. Lucas's delusions of messianic grandeur pissed me off to no end.

I'd get rid of as many of the Ewoks as possible in RotJ. My second choice would be to replace the soppy romantic parts in AotC and replace it with hard, Christensen-Portman sex. No wait, that woul be my first choice.

I would switch out the telekinesis battle between Gandalf and Saruman for a 5 minute long spell duel. Complete with firebals, lightning bolts, prismatic spheres, meteor swarms and other such nifty doom spells

Asst. Asst. Lt. Cmdr. Smi wrote:I'd get rid of as many of the Ewoks as possible in RotJ. My second choice would be to replace the soppy romantic parts in AotC and replace it with hard, Christensen-Portman sex. No wait, that woul be my first choice.

I second the Portman sex scene in AotC. Cheap gratuitious sex scenes always worked in those 80's action movies to show that characters were really "in love" so why not a Star Wars movie.

Let's just make sure that Christensen is only vaguely in the shot most of the 5 minutes should have very clear and decently lit footage of Portman.

I'd get rid of as many of the Ewoks as possible in RotJ.

Add that At-AT into the battle that never showed up

Mr Bean wrote:

I'd get rid of as many of the Ewoks as possible in RotJ.

Add that At-AT into the battle that never showed up

Specifically, I would want the Ewoks beating the Stormtroopers out. I really didn't mind the rest of the Ewok stuff. I would replace that footage with Imperial forces slaying all of the Ewoks on the screeen. Perhaps bring in the AT-AT, and have it take out an entire village. That would be sweet.

Hmm...
Lets see!
I would probably replace all the boring bla bla in the first LotR movie with hot elvish porn with arwen or some dark necromancy rituals raising an undead army.

Why not both

Stormbringer wrote:Thel Elvish telepathty scene from The Two Towers. Egh that was the worst possible thing they could have done.

Jesus on a pony............Nowhere is it implied or stated that they are using telepathy!! I swear you fucking purists just get on my nerves to NO end......"they cut Tom Bombadil, Bree was all wrong, Elves at Helms Deep, Theodens a pussy, Faramir is all wrong waaa waaa waaa" Cry me a fucking river! If you think is so awful or wrong DONT GO SEE IT!!! Or go see RoTK. Eiether stop whining about it or get off your ass and prove to me that Pete Jackson is an asshole and make a better version!!

Screw that, make it some hot clone on clone portman action. LOGIC BE DAMNED! PORTMAN ON PORTMAN!

anarchistbunny wrote:Screw that, make it some hot clone on clone portman action. LOGIC BE DAMNED! PORTMAN ON PORTMAN!

Would that consitute lesbian clone incest? Not that it matters all that much to me, I'd pay real money to see that kind of action........

Sokar wrote:

anarchistbunny wrote:Screw that, make it some hot clone on clone portman action. LOGIC BE DAMNED! PORTMAN ON PORTMAN!

Would that consitute lesbian clone incest? Not that it matters all that much to me, I'd pay real money to see that kind of action........

I'd consider it to be masturbation and enjoy the show.

anarchistbunny wrote:

Sokar wrote:

anarchistbunny wrote:Screw that, make it some hot clone on clone portman action. LOGIC BE DAMNED! PORTMAN ON PORTMAN!

Would that consitute lesbian clone incest? Not that it matters all that much to me, I'd pay real money to see that kind of action........

I'd consider it to be masturbation and enjoy the show.

Bravo, a fine way out of that potential moral quandry. Pass the lube and bring on the lesbian clones......

*stars humming the tune to Wierd Al "I think I'm a clone now"*
Send in the clones.

I would change the Endor ground battle by decreasing the Ewoks' screen time and increasing that of the actual Rebel team, who barely even got shown.

SW: AOTC- I'd make sure we all see what lusty activities Padme and her handmaiden Dorme indulge in behind closed doors....ahem.

In a brave (and, thankfully, ultimately futile )attempt to turn this thread away from turning everything into porn,
here's what I would do:

Edit in a real mage duel instead of whatever that was supposed to be between Gandalf and Saruman in FotR.
I swear the Yoda vs Dooku battle in AotC was a better mage duel than that.