True, I wrote this some time ago and it can be found on my fanfiction.net; yet, I am still happy to bring yet another parody of my sick mind to SD.Net.
Enjoy!
Parody - The Canterbury Tales: The Lost Trekkie
Moderator: LadyTevar
The Prologue to the Canterbury Tales: The Saga of Trekkies
There was a Trekkie who decided to join the pilgrims on their pilgrimage to Canterbury.
Because the Bajoran Prophets had told him to and to go there in quite a hurry.
He wore a uniform of silk, crisp black with a blood red bar across the neck.
And when he approached our group, he called out “Captain on the deck”
He rode a steed that had seen hell back home and was horribly scarred
The Trekkie didn’t seem to mind though; he was proud to name it Jean-Luc Picard.
At his side, he always carried in a black leather pouch, a Phaser for protection
Against what he illogically claimed to be stalking Ferengi henchmen.
We accepted him into our group, unsure what to expect from such a stranger
At which point he proudly tried to claim that he was a slayer
Of Jem’Hadar and Breen and offered his services to use as a bodyguard
At least, until, we were able to reach the Canterbury churchyard.
So we allowed the Trekkie into our group to join us on the journey
He was so excited that he could actually see the Canterbury Abbey
The Trekkie also claimed that if we should meet up with any kinds of surprise
Then all we’d have to do is let him call the Starship Enterprise
He claimed to be a sober man, but went wild at the sight of Klingon bloodwine
And in his poor drunken state, tried to flirt with someone he called Seven of Nine
She oddly and coldly threatened to assimilate him into the Borg Collective
If for the rest of the pilgrimage he would continue to be this active.
Around the fire that first night, he said that we would live long
And prosper if we could allow him to sing just one song
Before we could stop it, he was up like a priest at a church alter
And then began to sing just like Voyager’s Holographic doctor.
His voice was golden and had a claming effect on us
We were so still it was if we had turned to dust
For once in the day, he did not seem at all very hostile
Since he was singing to the tune of “La Donna e Mobile”
“Tuvok I understand
You are a Vulcan man
You have gone without
For seven years about
Paris please find a way
To load a hypospray
I will give the sign
Just aim for his behind
Hormones are raging
Synapses blazing
It's all very illogical
Illogical!
Illogical!
We tried to get him to continue singing but, to no avail
Instead, he said he couldn’t and opted to tell us a tale
Of a conflict fought beyond a place very far
And the struggle was called the Dominion War
With varied interest, he then spoke of the journey of across stars
Till he eventually reaped the Utopia Planita ship yards
There, he stole a Runabout, small in size
And made to Earth with telling a few lies.
Suddenly ,there was swirling light and a flash
And he then, our companion was gone with a bash.
To us, it was indeed strange; then we realized;
He must be back on the Starship Enterprise
So ends the tale of this man, I say no less
But know, he must resume his eternal quest
To boldy go out into the realms pass Sol for
He is going where none have gone before.
-The End-
There was a Trekkie who decided to join the pilgrims on their pilgrimage to Canterbury.
Because the Bajoran Prophets had told him to and to go there in quite a hurry.
He wore a uniform of silk, crisp black with a blood red bar across the neck.
And when he approached our group, he called out “Captain on the deck”
He rode a steed that had seen hell back home and was horribly scarred
The Trekkie didn’t seem to mind though; he was proud to name it Jean-Luc Picard.
At his side, he always carried in a black leather pouch, a Phaser for protection
Against what he illogically claimed to be stalking Ferengi henchmen.
We accepted him into our group, unsure what to expect from such a stranger
At which point he proudly tried to claim that he was a slayer
Of Jem’Hadar and Breen and offered his services to use as a bodyguard
At least, until, we were able to reach the Canterbury churchyard.
So we allowed the Trekkie into our group to join us on the journey
He was so excited that he could actually see the Canterbury Abbey
The Trekkie also claimed that if we should meet up with any kinds of surprise
Then all we’d have to do is let him call the Starship Enterprise
He claimed to be a sober man, but went wild at the sight of Klingon bloodwine
And in his poor drunken state, tried to flirt with someone he called Seven of Nine
She oddly and coldly threatened to assimilate him into the Borg Collective
If for the rest of the pilgrimage he would continue to be this active.
Around the fire that first night, he said that we would live long
And prosper if we could allow him to sing just one song
Before we could stop it, he was up like a priest at a church alter
And then began to sing just like Voyager’s Holographic doctor.
His voice was golden and had a claming effect on us
We were so still it was if we had turned to dust
For once in the day, he did not seem at all very hostile
Since he was singing to the tune of “La Donna e Mobile”
“Tuvok I understand
You are a Vulcan man
You have gone without
For seven years about
Paris please find a way
To load a hypospray
I will give the sign
Just aim for his behind
Hormones are raging
Synapses blazing
It's all very illogical
Illogical!
Illogical!
We tried to get him to continue singing but, to no avail
Instead, he said he couldn’t and opted to tell us a tale
Of a conflict fought beyond a place very far
And the struggle was called the Dominion War
With varied interest, he then spoke of the journey of across stars
Till he eventually reaped the Utopia Planita ship yards
There, he stole a Runabout, small in size
And made to Earth with telling a few lies.
Suddenly ,there was swirling light and a flash
And he then, our companion was gone with a bash.
To us, it was indeed strange; then we realized;
He must be back on the Starship Enterprise
So ends the tale of this man, I say no less
But know, he must resume his eternal quest
To boldy go out into the realms pass Sol for
He is going where none have gone before.
-The End-
