A D&D misadventure

[Kuja]

Based on something that happened in an actual D&D campaign. My character is the cleric and a buddy is the dwarf. Enjoy, folks. (Oh, and I'm typing this on the net while druck, so forgive any errors please)


If Jonethen hadn't heard the clicking noise, they'd both have been dead. As it was, he shoved his companion forward and threw himself to the ground just as two sets of stone spikes erupted from the tunnel walls and clashed behind them. "Are you allright?" he asked.

His partner, te self-proclaimed 'Dorf the dwarf of the north' shook his head, still dealing withthe handgover he had from the drniking he'd done earlier in the day. "'M fine," he grunted. They stood and looke on as the sset of spike slowley retracted back into the walls.

:"That was close," Jonethen commented. Dorf shrugged. Like all dwarves, he was shrot and stocky, with coarse brown hair and a long beard trailing from his chin. He carried two weapons, a crossbow similar to Jonethen;s own, and a golden warhammer that had been a gift from the god of brawlers, tghe might Kord.

Looking at the warhammer promtped Jonethen to tough the handle of his own gift weapon, a heavy golden mace. The fairly young redhead tapped the handle once or twice as if for good luck. then looked back down at his compainion. "Go on, or back?" he aske.d

Dorf tlooked up and down. "Go on," he said quickly, a tone that Jonethen knew meant he hadn't thought things through.

"All right," he said, "you go first, then."

Dorf snorted but went first anyway, and Jonethen followed. The two were now deep beneth the surface of the earth, having left the rest of their party far behind in the processing plant back at the surface. TThis deep, there was only one source of light: a crossbow bolt held aloft by the young cleric, glowing with ethereal light. As a cleric, Jonethen was not one to ccharge blindly into danger.

Dorf, on the other hand, marched steadily into the darkness ahead, unheeding of what dangers might lay ahead. His tough stone armor and the strength in his arms lent him great confidence. His singlemindedness was displayed quite well when they came to a room with two exits leading away and he promptly turned left.

Jonethen opened his mouth to ask why Dorf was so certain he wanted to head that way when he felt the floor drop out from underneath him. He opened his mouth to yell, but before he could do so, he crashed into the ground.

Dorf turend at the sound and asked, "are you all right?" A flurry of curses in draconic answered him A moment later, Jonethen leapt at the wall and Dorf helped to pull him out of the rather useless trap.

The two compainions followed the tunnel until arriving at a set of four stone doors, with drawven wrting on the wall above them.Jonethen, who could not read dwarven, frowned as he passed his glowing bolt over the writing. "What does it say?" he asked.

Dorf read it all carefully. "Four numbers," he said. "And a sentence, speak the numbers and the door shall open."

"What are the numbers?"

Without thinking, the dwarf replied "one, two, three, and four."

All four doors began to slide open.

As the first ascended into the ceiling, Jonethen saw a pair of very surprised goblins weraing nothing more than loincloths behind it. He decided not to think about what the heell they's been doing there.

The second door jammed after a few inches and refused to continue rising.

The thired foor rose smoothly to reveal a passageway deeper into the earth.

The fourth slwoly rose and Jonethen felt his blood freeze as a massive stone golem was revealed. But that frigh was nothing compared to when he saw a set of long, feathery antennae stick out from beneath the door and heard a chittering noise. "RUST MONSTER!" he yelled. "Run!" Joethen worescale mail and carried a mace...and if the rust monster caught them, both would be little more that...well, rust. And if the golem caught them...

Fortunately, Dorf didn't question him. The dwarf bolted down the open passageway, the nimble cleric hot on his heels. Behind them came a screeching noise and Jonethen knew trhe rust monster was free. The two of them ran as if hell itself was at there backs until they came to a new obstacle: a five-foot gape in the floor. Thje bottom of the pit was filled with stone spikes ready to impale anyone who failed the leap.

Jonethen swalloed, said a silent prayer to his lord Bahamut, and flugn himself acroos. The cleric parely madie it, but he managed to land himself on the other side of the pit. As the thoom-thoom-thoom- of the huge golem;s footsteps drew closer, he turned and shouted to his freind "Come on, you can make it!"

Dorf took a deep breat and launched hismelf, nearly crashing into Jonethen as he reached the other side. "Go go go!" the cleric yelled as the huge golem came around the bvend in the tunnel. Behind the stone monster, Jonethen saw that the two goblins had mounted the chittering rust monster wans were now wielding a pair of stone clubs. Fortunately for the two adventurers, the huge golem blocked the passageway so successfully that the faster rust monster could not get around it.

TRhe two ran down the new passageway, the thumbing of the golem growing softer behind them. Their refilef was shortliver as they nearly ran smack into a solid stone wall. Nearly paniking, Jonethen swept the enchanted bolt ofer it, revealing moire dwarven writing. "What does it say?"

Dorf read quickly. "More powerful than the gods, the poor man has it, yet if you eat it, you will die." The two looked at each other. "It's a riddle," dorf moaned.

Jonethen lsot his patience. "I hate these dwarves,!" he sputed, referrign to those who had built the mining station. ehind them, the footstpes of the golem began to increse in volume. "Alrigt, alright, more powerful than the gods, if you eat it, you'll die...posion? No, poor men don't have it." Jometjem said with a frown. "If you eat it...more powerful than the gods..." he trailed off. "Nothing!" he shouted. "What's nothing in dwarf?"

Dorf shouted the equivalent word and a door slid open in front of them. Without hesitation, the two bolted down it as fast as their lags woukld carry them.

Another dead end met them.

"No! Now what!" Jonethen snarled. Again, he saw draven writing on the wall. "Quick! what does it say?" he asked.

"Shoot...something something...hole," Dorf read. "It's in really bad shape."

"Hole?" Honethen swept the lighted bolt over the wall and found three holes. "No time," he said grimly. "Try the one in the middle." Dorf fireda crossbow bolt in the middle hole and two things happened. First, the ceiling of the tunnel behind them sloely descended, crushing their pursuers to death. Second, the floor of the room began to lift, delivering them into a massive treasure room.

Dorf could'nt believe his eyes. A row of gold chests, a row of silver chests, a row of wooden, a ro of stone, and a row of silver, thirty chests in all. Beyond them , arickety wooden staircase offered a way out. Dorf chuckled and started towards the neartest of them, when Jonethen suddenyl threw a hand across this chest. "Wait," the cleric said. "Something feels wrong."

The redhead leveled his crossbow at the nearest chest and fired. AS soon as the bolt hit, the chest screeched and ran away, sqwakung furiously until it ran into the far wall and flopped over, dead.

"Just as I thought," Jonethen said. "Mimics." Dorf the dwarf of the north gulped. "Here," the cleric said suddenly. "Cover me." With that, he walked out into the center of the room. "By the power vested in me by Bahamut, the King of all good dragons" he whispered in draconic, "show me the magic that surrounds me!"

The spell took effect istanty, and Jonethen knew which were mimics and which were real treasure chests, several of which had benecicial items, and several of hich had unholy relics residing within them. He decided to leave the dark relice where they were and instead walkid to the nearst chest inside of which he sensed somethnig helpful. The chest opened without hassle and he found a large set of healing potions. "Jackpot," he said with a grin.

"What's in this one?" dorf asked. Without waiting, the dwarf opened the chest and was rewarded with a faceful of poison. Jonethen was at his side an isntant later, but he could not dispel the poison his friend had ingested.

"Let's get you to the surface, he suggested. Five minutes later,having disposed of several more mimics, the twoascended the rickety staricease wich backpacks bulging with gold coins. One of the steps broke under Jontehen's weight, but otherwaise they were safe on their journy upwards. When they finally reached the hatch at the top, they were forced to peal out as th staicase collapsed beneath them. They madr their way back through the abandoned minging plant until they were greeted by the sight of two of their comrades carefully sparring with their longswards.

"Oh. Where have you been?" the ranger, Jynx asked.

Jonethen and Dorf looked at each other and both let out a long sigh.

[Zaia]

His partner, te self-proclaimed 'Dorf the dwarf of the north' shook his head, still dealing withthe handgover he had from the drniking he'd done earlier in the day. "'M fine," he grunted.

Ahh, so perfect....hehehe...

[Rogue 9]

Dwarves don't get hangovers, though! Well... Except as a plot device for when the character's player can't make the gaming session.