Anyway, I've written a script for a short film, and I think it's fairly good and all. Most of it seems to work. However, there's one part that seems to be... well not as good:
It's that last line there that I don't quite like. It was my intention to have Ruyosa's first comment "aw no" to be about something else, which would be funny because that's not what you expect. But when I wrote it, I sat for a good 20 minutes trying to think of what he could comment on. Things like his car had been wrecked, but then I realized that he's a grand ninja master, so he wouldn't have a car. So after not being able to think of something better, I wrote a "poopie joke", as you can see. But I really don't think that it fits with the rest of the film.Return of Orvarus: The Script wrote:Ext - Ninja town - night
Ruyosa and Aykarod finds the town to be under attack. Zombies hunt ninjas and people. Chaos is everywhere.
Ruyosa: Aw no, not again!
Aykarod: Get zombies a lot these days?
Ruyosa: What? No! Someone has not cleaned up after their dog again, look!
So, can anyone give me any ideas of what might be a better thing for him to say? Please?
As a little side story, I might add that I finished this script three hours before I went to see RotS for the first time (last Saturday). And I hadn't read any spoilers or anything, just seen the trailers. But I noticed that some of the scenes in my film were very similar to some scenes in RotS. For instance, I have a samurai talk about how it's bad to only see things in black and white, like Obi-Wan sort of said (though not in the same situation). And there's a scene where I have a bunch of kids in a pretty helpless situation asking a guy for help, and that scene ends with him drawing his sword... So that was pretty funny. Must have been my leet precog abilities. Or just random coincidences...
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- PeZook