Good Fanfiction with Achilles’ Heels

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2005-07-03 02:15pm

I’ve just read “Angel of Alderaan.” Excellent story, good plot elements, but bad, bad dialogue. I’m sorry, but I just don’t think that a captured Yuuzhan Vong would scream, “No way!” Neither do I think Vader who say “yuck” in a sudden disgust at seeing the Emperor. Also, some transitions are unsatisfying, like how Amidala so easily convinced her children that she was their mother. The author seems to know everything about the EU very well, so it’s a shame.

Ever read any stories like that? Well-written, good ideas, novel-sized, but contains a major flaw somewhere?

Again, Tribun did a good job, but the dialogue is just not believable.

Tribun · Post by **Tribun** » 2005-07-03 04:35pm

Well, I as the author must now make clear some points, so that you know the conditions under which I write:

-I'm no native English speaker. I'm German, meaning that I have to translate everything. No wonder that my writing style is sort of stiff.
-I have NEVER read any EU book. I got all my information from sources which list the information contained in the books. What do think now of my EU knowledge?
-This is purely a free-time project of mine, so don't expect the writing of a professional author.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2005-07-04 02:15am

Tribun wrote:-I'm no native English speaker. I'm German, meaning that I have to translate everything. No wonder that my writing style is sort of stiff.

Not your total writing style. Just the dialogue. But aside from that, your writing doesn't have many errors.

Tribun wrote:-I have NEVER read any EU book. I got all my information from sources which list the information contained in the books. What do think now of my EU knowledge?

I've always thought of it as quite comprehensive. I liked how the Death Star started attacking EU-important planets, and I liked the irony in how Han managed to pay back Jabba without incident. The only error was that Kyle didn't know what happened to his father, since in the story he found his droid after becoming a Rebel. Of course, that's an event you can always write out.

Tribun wrote:-This is purely a free-time project of mine, so don't expect the writing of a professional author.

I'm still glad that you managed to find the time to write all of it. I've read good fanfiction with better dialogue, yes, but few are as long and comprehensive as yours is. I can withstand the dialogue. Your fanfiction is very entertaining and has good ideas. I'm just saying that it has a flaw.