Well I figured, I'd throw this little idea out and see what kinda response, if any I get. I know I can count on this site for honesty. A few pages. Thanks for your time.
The small ship dropped out of lightspeed inside the planets gravity field, a dangerous maneuver for the most experienced pilot, even a Jedi. The craft decelerated as it slammed into the atmosphere of Coruscant. The heat shields came on automatically as friction caused the armor plate of the ship to superheat. Coruscant, long the seat of power in the Republic, hailed the ship as it entered into her space lanes.
The craft's comm crackled to life. "Unidentified craft. You will cease your advance and identify your self. Further advance will be deemed hostile and responded to accordingly!"
The pilot of the craft quickly entered a well remembered code into his transmitter and sent it to the Coruscant inquisitors, even as their interceptors aligned on his tail.
"Please hold for verification." was the response given.
After a few moments a new voice sounded in over the speaker, "This is head Controlled Derk. We apologize for the inconvenience Master Jedi. The Jedi Temple has been alerted to your arrival and is prepared to receive you. Our Interceptors will escort you there and... Welcome home."
"What was that all about sir?" The newly hired air controller asked. Head Controller Derk smiled. "That’s classified young man. One day you will find out though...and I’ll be long gone. For now however, erase that access code from our memory banks as well as the voice recorder log. And you didn't hear or see a thing" The new controller paused for a moment and then did as he was instructed. "Good work son," Controller Derk commented, "...and look for a little bonus in you pay this month." "Yes sir." The controller responded happily as he continued to purge the computer of his first interesting call of his first week of work.
The agile craft speed over the cityscape of Coruscant. The slower Interceptors were hard pressed to keep up, though the pilots showed remarkable skill in doing so. After a few minutes the trio arrived at the Jedi Temple. As the Jedi craft entered Temple air space the lead interceptor pilot commed in. "We are breaking of escort. Enjoy the rest of your stay... and not bad flying for a Jedi." The Jedi smiled as his rear monitors showed the interceptors veering off and returning to their patrol routes. After a few moments the comm system again came to life. "Master Niccio. It is good to have you at the Temple once more. The High Council will be awaiting you. The Spire will be clear for your use as you wish. You are cleared to land on platform 327."
Jedi Master Keff Niccio smiled again. "Thank you Padawan. It is good to be home."
Alone in his chambers a dark figure sat, cowed in a black robe, his face hidden. Another entered the chambers. The second walked slowly towards the first and knealt at the base of his chair. The dark figure swiveled. "What is it my friend?"
"My master, one of the frontiers Jedi has returned. Master Niccio. He is in the Temple Spire, and is soon to meet with the High Council."
"So... the first from the general recall has arrived.... interesting. And what have you learned?"
"All data and files on Niccio's arrival have been erased and it is impossible to calculate his origin point with the entry he used into Coruscant space with any other sensor information than which is found in control of the Space/Air Control Service."
"Yes.. Master Keff is a skilled pilot and a cunning warrior; he could prove most detrimental to our cause. He will have to be dealt with." The cowled figured paused contemplatively. "And what else have you learned?"
"The head Controller for Coruscant airspace was once a padawan of the Jedi. He was reassigned over sixty five years ago when he failed his jedi trials. His loyalties however, still lie with them. A new more.. prone Controller should be in that position."
"Yes.. very good my friend. Make it so." The chair swiveled back around.
As the second figure rose and began his walk out, he paused.
"Yes my friend... what troubles you?" The dark one asked.
"My master, it is not my place to question you..."
"Nonsense young one... Knowledge is power." The first one said, as he had many times before.
"Why are we bothering with this small handful of Jedi.....? Why not attack the council?"
"A valid question, my friend. A very valid question. Come, return to me and I will explain."
The youngest of the pair returned to his knelt position at his masters feet. The elder rose and signaled his apprentice to rise with him. They walked slowly out onto the balcony of the chambers and were soon over looking the cityscape of the Coruscant moon.
"The Force has spoken to me," The Master began. "It favors us my friend. It has shown me the path of the Jedi's destruction."
The apprentice looked upon his master as these words were spoken in great anticipation of what he was about to be told.
"The "frontier" Jedi, as they are commonly referred to are the key to the Jedi and their strength. They are the recruiters, if you will, the ones who bring the otherwise wretched souls of the galaxy into the warm embrace of the Force. So finely attuned to the Force are these Jedi that they can sense others with the Force flowing through them, sometimes even parsecs away.“ The master turned to his apprentice. "You... my young friend can not cloak yourselves to them... even I could be discovered if their powers are combined in great enough effort." The apprentice was taken aback by the words softly uttered by his master, but steadied himself as his master prepared to continue. "Further more, their training is comparable to you own.... they operate as individuals, beholden to the councils on only the most important of matters..." The master turned to his pupil. "Some of them even use forbidden Sith technology such as your lightsaber."
"But Master the Jedi would..."
"Never allow that?" The elder interjected. "These are a special breed my friend.... so adept, so attune that they are incorruptible to the dark side... but this is also their weakness. They are so engulfed in the pathetic light that they can easily be blinded to the dark ways."
"What are the current numbers of Jedi at this moment?" the Master Asked.
"Upwards of 500,000, master."
"Yes... yes, a great number indeed... never have the Jedi been so strong. Never has their light shinned so brightly.... and my friend their number is growing. Even with all the failures like our friend Controller Derk, even with all of them, the Jedi will number in the millions in the next few centuries. If that is allowed to happen, our light will be extinguished. Even now we are in danger." The dark master turned to his apprentice. "Why my young friend, do you think the general recall of these super sensitive Jedi was issued?"
The young Sith Lord looked to his master in astonishment. "Us."
"Yes my friend. Us."
"But how..?"
The elder smiled. "Cunning, guile, subterfuge, qualities worthy of you my friend." The Master turned back to the cityscape and looked quietly for a moment. "Someone on the Council suspects.... they are not sure however, but they have warnings. Their reasoning eludes me however... the Force has not been cooperative in this facet..."
"The Force provides and the Force takes." The younger said.
"Yes... yes indeed." The Master responded.
"What has the Force shown you Master?"
"The end of the Jedi.... by a man.... very adept, very cunning.... very insidious, over 7 centuries from now... but he will need our help. If the Jedi are allowed to breed like the vermin they are this man this savior of the Sith will never rise to destroy the Jedi. We must act my young apprentice and act quickly... if we are discovered if we are found out.. All is lost."
Fire began to burn in the young Sith's belly... "What is thy bidding... my master?"
"You will leave Coruscant and the core systems immediately after one last assignment. You will travel to the outer rim and the unknown territories where most of our prey will be.... with out Master Niccio and his like the Jedi number will dwindle rapidly, for only one of these super sensitive Jedi can train one of their own, and then, in time, our insidious prodigy will be able to wipe out the Jedi once and for all. Patience and absolute secrecy will be required for this... see to it you are not discovered."
"Yes my Master. And what is my final assignment on Coruscant?"
The dark master smiled. "You will learn the last reported locations of the frontier Jedi. The information you need is located deep inside the Jedi Temple."
The young Sith smiled. "Yes my Master."
Jedi Master Keff Niccio sat in deep concentration and contemplation in the solitude of the Temple Spire. Hi hands on his knees, his body completely motionless, heart and respitory systems almost completely at a stop. One could not be more one with the Force unless one was one with the Force, his master had always said of this form of meditation. So in tune Keff Niccio had become at this moment that he could feel each individual molecule of air surround his body, he could sense the key pads of the many scripts and lectures the Padawans were studying being pressed, even a pair involved in a somewhat frowned upon extracurricular activity, but he would not report them for he was also one with the profound love they had found with each other and together they would make many powerful Jedi indeed.
But something was amiss.... something almost hidden... but no one could hide from Keff and the person trying knew it.
Like lightning Master Niccio was up and around with his lightsaber drawn and parrying. The yellow blade moved so swiftly that the second thrust came within millimeters of finding its mark across Keff's right thigh. When Keff saw the face of his assailant he activated the hilt of his lightsaber and began his first assault with two blades instead of one. The light blue of the Sith based weapon swirled in a flurry and came down to strike the yellow blade which was already into its next attack almost before the parry had been carried out.
To the outside eye, the 8 minute lightsaber duel would have been incredibly hard to follow. Blurs of light blue and yellow flashed around the Temple Spire meditation hall at an incredible rate. But finally a winning blow was struck and sparks flew as the yellow blade dissipated into nothingness.
"200 years old was that blade Master Niccio!!"
"Well dueling is FORBIDDEN in the Spire Master Yoda!!"
The two weary Jedi both collapsed to the floor in laughter as they finished their berratements of each other.
The small green skinned Jedi was the first to rise and help his opponent to his feet.
"Thank you my friend.... sorry about your saber, but I though you might beat me." Keff said grinning.
"Hmph. And a long time it would have been in coming too. Defeated you I have not since..."
"Never." Keff said bluntly to his fellow Master.
"Yes... never." Master Yoda said almost inaudibly, returning the grin. "Four feet I was from you. Your touch, I think you are loosing Master Niccio."
"Nonsense! You've been practicing." Keff responded.
"Yes. Good for keeping the Padawans on their toes, yes." Yoda said devilishly
"Ha!! And for sneaking up on other masters I think!" Keff replied knowing the sense of humor of his friend.
"Hmmm... Master Niccio, low you must think of me... my fellow Jedi scaring... humph, nonsense."
The two friends laughed heartily together as the finally began to regain their breath from the duel moments earlier. Keff walked over to retrieve the top half of Yoda's severed lightsaber.
"I really am sorry about this Master Yoda."
"Worry not my friend repaired it can be... a challenge I like, and worth it was to see your face! Heh heh!" Yoda continued to laugh as the pair headed towards the entry way to the meditation chamber.
"It is good to see you Yoda." Keff finally said. "But why has the Council recalled me?"
"Hmm... Not just you Keff, all the outlying regions have been contacted, Jedi of your talent, all have been recalled."
"Do you know why?"
"The Council has kept secret its reasons, but a dark presence is said to be."
"A Sith?"
"Hmmm. The Council, you will have to ask for your answers... I know not my friend."
"Interesting.”
"Interesting, indeed."
SW fic... 700 years pre TPM
Moderator: LadyTevar
- Stuart Mackey
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OK.
Work, Yoda needs, to be like Yoda, hmm?. I think the diologue overall needs a bit of work, but shows promise. I think you might need to also work on the nature of the darkside an how it works on a day to day basis. Read the novels and watch the movies. Study, you need, yes study. To the great ones you must look, to Sonnenburg and Stravo, consult with the Oracle that is the ASVS fanfic Archive, you must.
Work, Yoda needs, to be like Yoda, hmm?. I think the diologue overall needs a bit of work, but shows promise. I think you might need to also work on the nature of the darkside an how it works on a day to day basis. Read the novels and watch the movies. Study, you need, yes study. To the great ones you must look, to Sonnenburg and Stravo, consult with the Oracle that is the ASVS fanfic Archive, you must.
Via money Europe could become political in five years" "... the current communities should be completed by a Finance Common Market which would lead us to European economic unity. Only then would ... the mutual commitments make it fairly easy to produce the political union which is the goal"
Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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- Stuart Mackey
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www.daltonator.net and follow the links. You can also learn of the history of the 'great debate' that led to this this places founding. Trust me, watching the movies again is always a good Idea here. But yeah, read the novels of the movies, and the novels of events before RotJ.havokeff wrote:glad I got some feed back. Thanks for your time.
Novels, yeah I probably could stand to read some more. Watch the movies? I don't think that is necessary.
Can you post a link to the ASVS?
Via money Europe could become political in five years" "... the current communities should be completed by a Finance Common Market which would lead us to European economic unity. Only then would ... the mutual commitments make it fairly easy to produce the political union which is the goal"
Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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Ha. No I didn't mean that I don't need to watch the movies, I meant that I don't need to watch the movies. I've seen the originals well over 1000 times each, and the first two prequels well over 100 times and ROTS getting close to 100. I am 100% dead serious.
Thanks for the link. I shall go study.[/i]
Thanks for the link. I shall go study.[/i]
- Stuart Mackey
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Jesus wept, thats dedication..or insanityhavokeff wrote:Ha. No I didn't mean that I don't need to watch the movies, I meant that I don't need to watch the movies. I've seen the originals well over 1000 times each, and the first two prequels well over 100 times and ROTS getting close to 100. I am 100% dead serious.
Thanks for the link. I shall go study.[/i]
![Shocked :shock:](./images/smilies/icon_eek.gif)
Via money Europe could become political in five years" "... the current communities should be completed by a Finance Common Market which would lead us to European economic unity. Only then would ... the mutual commitments make it fairly easy to produce the political union which is the goal"
Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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Jean Omer Marie Gabriel Monnet
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Lil' from collum A lil' from collum BStuart Mackey wrote:
Jesus wept, thats dedication..or insanity. Well good luck, your fic shows promise.
![Laughing :lol:](./images/smilies/icon_lol.gif)
Thanks for the feedback MUCH APPRECIATED!!
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