Original story idea

[ray245]

While many of us do have great ideas for a story, not many people can actually write well. Rather than keeping those ideas to ourselves, I think we should share it instead.

I have this story idea, dealing with the theme of friendship and ideas.

Basically, two friends who is in the army together, has fought countless wars and battles together. However, the two friends do have different ideals about how should the nation be runned. Soon, the Country erupted into a civil war, with the two friends fighting against each other on the opposite side.

In a final battle, the two friends come face to face with each other, and they are forced to make a choice. A choice between politicial ideas and friendship.

I was intending to set this story in the Roman era, during the end of the Roman Republic.

[fgalkin]

This is an "original" story idea?

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

[Stark]

To make it even more original, we could make the protaganists blood relations.

[Samuel]

That just describes the entire American Civil War... and just about every other countries civil war really. Not to mention for the Roman era, what comes to mind is Attila and the Roman General who opposed him who both knew each other (although I doubt they were friends).

[Shroom Man 777]

It could be better if they were gay lovers. Their sexual tension can be relieved after they, the only survivors of a massive battle, end up in man-to-man combat in the battlefield, tearing off their clothes in rage and much gnashing of teeth. Then and there, in that field of death, they decide to abandon war and all the misery it brings, and it culminates in the both of them making passionate man-love amidst a thousand corpses.

Love Can Bloom.

[ray245]

Hmm...really? So do anyone have a good books or films to recommend, films or books that tell us that kind of story?

Anyone has any other idea to share?

[Shroom Man 777]

Not really a civil war, per se, but Gattaca has something similar.

There are two brothers, one of them has superior genes due to engineering, another one is born out of old-fashioned sex and isn't genetically enhanced and thus has inferior recessive genes. The inferior one wants to become an astronaut, but their society heavily favors the genetically engineered "superior" people while the inferior men are left to become janitors and other shitpieces.

Anyway, through hard work and through illegal actions including name changes and using another person's DNA, the inferior brother eventually becomes a candidate for a space mission. But there's a murder at work and the police are called in. The detective is the superior brother, and though the murderer is caught, the brother really wants to nab his inferior sibling for impersonating another person and for getting into the space program illegally.

They have a confrontation, they swim into the ocean at dawn, racing each other to see who swims furthest. They did this when they were kids and the inferior one always lost because of problems in his heart, but this time the superior brother ends up nearly drowning and the inferior one saves him.

(The inferior one, since he was in the space program, has been training and exercising a lot and is basically just as good as the other genetically enhanced superior people.)

The film ends with the inferior brother finally getting what he wants, boarding the rocket ship headed for Neptune I think. As a plus, their astronauts don't wear space suits but are wearing business suits with spiffy coats and ties.

It's a great movie, you should watch it!


EDIT:

It wasn't real. That thing about the gay lovers and a field of a thousand corpses? It's not a real story. Love Can Bloom is a line I borrowed somewhere.

[Solauren]

You know, with some research and tweaking, you could make it an Alt-History between Octivan and Mark Anthony. Just toss in Shroomy's idea about the 'gay sex on the battle field' and have Cleopatra off herself over that

[Shroom Man 777]

PLUS Cleopatra can end up bleeding her breasts too!

I think something more in line with ray's idea, minus the Romans and stuff, is Metal Gear Solid.

Liquid Snake and a team of elite freak mercenaries from the Army's FOXHOUND unit goes rogue and captures the Shadow Moses facility in Alaska's Fox Archipelago, seizing control of a top secret weapon - METAL GEAR REX.

Solid Snake is sent to stop Liquid Snake. Anyway, it turns out that they're clones of a legendary soldier - Big Boss - and that Solid Snake is the better clone with the superior genes, while Liquid has the inferior recessive genes. Because of this, and other reasons, Liquid is waging his revolution and stuff.

So, aside from giant minigun-wielding Inuits and telepathic bondage freaks, it's got discourses on nuclear warfare and post-Cold War politics. But there isn't much brotherly love. Liquid Snake is a total psychopath hell bent on killing his brother, and ends up dying of some custom-tailored bioweapon that Solid's been infected with.

Hrm... I don't think this is what ray was looking for. But the sequel has a Metal Gear called RAY.

[ray245]

PLUS Cleopatra can end up bleeding her breasts too!

I think something more in line with ray's idea, minus the Romans and stuff, is Metal Gear Solid.

Liquid Snake and a team of elite freak mercenaries from the Army's FOXHOUND unit goes rogue and captures the Shadow Moses facility in Alaska's Fox Archipelago, seizing control of a top secret weapon - METAL GEAR REX.

Solid Snake is sent to stop Liquid Snake. Anyway, it turns out that they're clones of a legendary soldier - Big Boss - and that Solid Snake is the better clone with the superior genes, while Liquid has the inferior recessive genes. Because of this, and other reasons, Liquid is waging his revolution and stuff.

So, aside from giant minigun-wielding Inuits and telepathic bondage freaks, it's got discourses on nuclear warfare and post-Cold War politics. But there isn't much brotherly love. Liquid Snake is a total psychopath hell bent on killing his brother, and ends up dying of some custom-tailored bioweapon that Solid's been infected with.

Hrm... I don't think this is what ray was looking for. But the sequel has a Metal Gear called RAY.

Well, what I am trying to hope for, is to create or see a story where two good friends is forced to fight each other face to face, even when their friendship never fade so to speak.

Meaning they are not people who oppose each other. Instead, they are on the opposite side, simply because of what they believe in.


The idea of setting up in the Roman civil war that ended the Roman Republic is to explore the themes of choice, their personal belief.

Both Centurion has fight under Julius Caesar, before getting seperated into different legions.

One centurion ( mainly because Roman Centurion are officers who are literate) joined the Augustus side, for his belief in ending the corruption of the senate, and having strong belief in a authorian government.

The other hold on to his ideas that the Republic and its values must stand at all cost, and decides to follow the army led by Brutus.

Meaning they end up on the different teams due to their personal choice alone, not because they are born into it. Often, you can avoid thinking about the person you are fighting and killing in a battlefield. However, when you are on the battlefield, facing against your best friend, will you decide to end his life, to protect the ideals you believe in, the ideals which can improve the lives of people and society, or will you go against your principle, to spare his or her life?


Something like having an older or younger brother or sister, who have a completely different opinions in regards to politics.

You can be a liberal minded person, while your sibling can be a conservative person. Say your country end up in a state of civil war, and both of you has such as strong belief in those ideas respectively, that you decide to join the war. When you point a gun towards your sibling in a battlefield on the site of the enemy, will you pull the trigger?

[DrMckay]

Might I suggest that you master proper English grammar, spelling and syntax? It would make any story you write a bit better and it may perhaps be a bit less likely for others to cry out at the cruel butchery of the poor, defenseless English language you seem so intent on.

Best of luck.

[DrMckay]

As far as story ideas go, Why not make them classmates/friends in a country/planet undergoing social change/revolution. One is the rich, privileged, idealistic youngster, determined to change the world for the better, and the other is a disadvantaged, pragmatic, cynical person, who got into the institution by the grace of scholarship, and wants to make a better life for himself. Everyone else can go hang. They are attending the school/academy at a time when the established order where the first student is a member of the elite is overthrown.

Insert conflict and tragic ending as you will.

[ray245]

Might I suggest that you master proper English grammar, spelling and syntax? It would make any story you write a bit better and it may perhaps be a bit less likely for others to cry out at the cruel butchery of the poor, defenseless English language you seem so intent on.

Best of luck.

I am trying my best to master the English Language, although it is going to be a long process. One of the many reason is due to the fact that I am reading sentences or phrases as a whole. While I am able to read and understand the meaning of a sentences or phrase, I can never see the sentences as words strung together as a single sentence. I see things as a whole, and that means I have a hard time noticing the grammatical error in writings. The only time I can notice a mistake clearly, is when the sentences or phrase does not sound or feel right.

Moreover, I think that the only way for me to improve, is to actually make use of of the English Language, and I do believe, that writing to myself isn't going to help much, if there is no one around to correct me.

I like to write stories, however, it seems that I have a long way to go before I can write a decent story, with the proper use of English Grammar.

[DrMckay]

Proper grammar and spelling have always been a huge nitpick for me. My mom was an English major and I've been reading from a very young age. I have a lot of respect for someone learning to read and write in a second language. (I remember struggling with Spanish in High School.)

Instead of attempting to improve your language and syntax by only writing stories, might I suggest you put a bit of effort into reading them? It may give you a better flow for english in dialogue as well as descriptive format for when you begin to write. If you like I can send/post a list of recommended books.

[ray245]

Proper grammar and spelling have always been a huge nitpick for me. My mom was an English major and I've been reading from a very young age. I have a lot of respect for someone learning to read and write in a second language. (I remember struggling with Spanish in High School.)

Instead of attempting to improve your language and syntax by only writing stories, might I suggest you put a bit of effort into reading them? It may give you a better flow for english in dialogue as well as descriptive format for when you begin to write. If you like I can send/post a list of recommended books.

I've found out a long time ago, that reading isn't going to help me much really. Mainly due to the fact that I can easily ignore any or most grammatical error in a story. It seems to me, that I am thinking in Chinese. And given the fact that there is no grammar in the Chinese language, that might be the reason I suck in my Grammar.

Other than that, I like to do speed-reading, which means I can understand the gist of the story easily enough, but that means I will not notice any Grammatical errors in a story.

Although thanks for your help!