Majorly fucked up idea that's been bouncing around my head

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-11-30 02:52pm

The ISD Big Ballz 4 U floated serenely through the blue swirl of hyperspace, it's captin sitting in annoyance on the main bridge, annoyance mainly at the fact that the techs in charge of naming every ship to exit the Kuat Drive Yards were getting "Creative" with their naming procedures. Annoyance that for the rest of his carreer he'd have to live with the name of his first major command showing up on his permant record.
Well, atleast he got to kill stuff. Namely people who annoyed him. Infact, that's just what he'd do now.
"ENSIGN BRAINLESS!!!" He shouted at the top of his lungs.
"Y-y-yes c-c-c-captin d-d-d-david? W-w-what did I do now?"
"You have a spot of jam from breakfast on your shirt. I do not tolerate such slovenlieness on my bridge. I'm going to make you an example of you." Said david picking him up and throwing him into the garbage chute immeadiately outside of the bridge. He signaled to a nameless ensign to turn on the trash compactor.
It was at that moment that the ship lurched the lights dimmed and everyone on the ship blacked out.

David's eye's fluttered open to a sight that sickened his stomach. A blue orb filled the view ports of the Big Ballz 4 U and it was fast approaching. Worse yet the rest of his crew appeared to be knocked out. He decided he only had one course of action, he leapt to his feet and charged towards the navigational console. Sitting down he frantically attempted to effect a change in the behemoth ships course, but alas, it was to no avail. The titan of supra dense metal knifed through the atmosphere as the outer layer of it's armor began to glow white hot. It was at that moment that captin David wisely chose to buckle his seat belt for the ship entered a wild spin due to the propelling force of one of it's massive gun turrets blowing to bits. The ships computer executed emergancy crash landing procedures and quite luckily the ship's trajectory was leveled enough for survival...

"Pikachu I choose yo-" it was the last time those words would ever be heard for at that moment a searing fireball melted Ash ketchum's face (as well as those of his friends) clean off. The intense head also killed all his stupid pokemon. Their charred corpses, as well as the massive trees near by were thrown into the air by the hurricane force winds following the ISD as it skimmed mere feet over the ground. Houses and buildings suffered a similar fate.

Big Ballz 4 U's nose tipped down and the rest of the ship soon followed, leaving a 10 mile long trench and a ruined ship, never to fly again.

Unbuckling his seat belt David attempted to survey the dammage, however, all the bridge consoles were flickering and unresponsive and the bridge viewports auto darkening was stuck at the maximum level due to the intense light of the re-entry and various system failures. He was stuck in the dark as it were...

Raoul Duke, Jr. · Post by **Raoul Duke, Jr.** » 2003-11-30 04:46pm

You seem to be going for a Spaceballs-style parody while staying (mostly) within an EU style universe. Not sure which end of the "wacky/serious" spectrum you're aiming for just yet, so it's hard to tell. Just watch grammar and spelling and keep going the way you're going.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-11-30 04:58pm

David's eye's fluttered open to a sight that sickened his stomach. A blue orb filled the view ports of the Big Ballz 4 U and it was fast approaching. Worse yet the rest of his crew appeared to be knocked out. He decided he only had one course of action, he leapt to his feet and charged towards the navigational console. Sitting down he frantically attempted to effect a change in the behemoth ships course, but alas, it was to no avail. The titan of supra dense metal knifed through the atmosphere as the outer layer of it's armor began to glow white hot...
*spoiler below*
Could someone post some advice *in small print so the story isn't spoiled* on some good ideas for writing in characters from the pokemon verse?

Jawawithagun · Post by **Jawawithagun** » 2003-11-30 05:58pm

But... but... "only one course of action" you said! Why didn't he run for the weapons console?

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-11-30 09:12pm

Because he didn't want the ship to crash?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-11-30 09:39pm

Start writing.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-11-30 10:51pm

see top post for consolidated version + some new stuff.

Kurgan · Post by **Kurgan** » 2003-12-19 04:02pm

I think the captain should be named "Harry Ballzonia"

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-12-19 05:11pm

Alright, I don't think I have any problems with this fic. Keep writing.

darthdavid · Post by **darthdavid** » 2003-12-19 08:52pm

Singular Quartet wrote:Alright, I don't think I have any problems with this fic. Keep writing.

I promise that i'll do _something_ over x-mas break. Promise.