Cultural Relations (Red Dwarf/Farscape xover, 1/1)

[Adrian Tullberg]

Cultural Relations

by Adrian Tullberg

***

"Crichton!"

"Uh, yeah?"

"Save me. Now."

"..."

"Wipe that look off your face, I'm serious."

"I ... it's just I imagined you saying it, but actually hearing you ..."

"Do you value your reproductive organs?"

"Nothing like a reality check. What's the problem?"

"That human! The Lister!"

"Dave? C'mon, he's a great guy."

"Simply because he let you have access to his ship's supply of alcohol?"

"Human 101; any guy who gives you free access to 300 gallons of lager automatically gives him first refusal to be your best man."

"Sebatian 102; any ... thing that insists on impressing me by belching 'Yankie Diddles Dandy' ..."

"Doodle."

"Yankie Diddles Doodle Dandy. He is a menace. Lister has recently activated some kind of biological weapon called a 'mutton vindaloo' ..."

"I'll talk to him ... downwind ..."

***

Please send any and all feedback to adriantull@urban.net.au

[Jawawithagun]

Oh god, yes! But don't forget to count you shiny things after Cat left again.