GSDA Reactions thread

[MKSheppard]

What insult? The drunk mode thing? That was because you were pumped full of tranq.

You really are reaching Singularity status here. You might as well keep
the GSDAs. I don't want them, as long as you're perfectly willing to fuck
me over when it comes to presenting them, by making me sleep through
the cermonies for the SECOND FUCKING YEAR IN A ROW.

I put a lot of fucking time into those fanfics, and I damn well deserve a little
gloating in the ceremonies, rather than just *snore*, you fucking prick.

[The Yosemite Bear]

Chill!!!

now, I think this minor shit is not worth this much drama and conflict all for nothing. I pointed out to you that he farms the stuff out, hell I even helped with it last year!

you call my pointing out that it's a group effort, you call Rob's patanted redirect?

excuse me, this is silly. Besides I said it should be done around this time, because of the sillyness of this stuff.

[Pablo Sanchez]

I put a lot of fucking time into those fanfics, and I damn well deserve a little gloating in the ceremonies, rather than just *snore*, you fucking prick.

Sheppard... just take it easy. It's not a big deal.

[Dalton]

You really are reaching Singularity status here. You might as well keep
the GSDAs. I don't want them, as long as you're perfectly willing to fuck
me over when it comes to presenting them, by making me sleep through
the cermonies for the SECOND FUCKING YEAR IN A ROW.

I put a lot of fucking time into those fanfics, and I damn well deserve a little
gloating in the ceremonies, rather than just *snore*, you fucking prick.

You know what? Fuck you. I tried, I fucking did. I tried to write the thing, and when I couldn't I handed it off to Chuck. And I looked it over and thought it was funny, so I posted it as fast as I could for you and other impatient bastards and when I did all I got from you is this snivelling, whiny bitchfest about some "insult" that you fucking danced around all fucking day.

Next time you have a fucking problem, OUT WITH IT instead of these fucking stupid games. Dump your fucking GSDAs, I honestly don't fucking care. I'm just sick of dealing with your paranoid temper tantrums and your violently stupid reaction to every imagined sleight.

[MKSheppard]

You know what? Fuck you. I tried, I fucking did. I tried to write the thing

Two months and you couldn't come up with shit? I mean shit, I can free
associate a opening that's insanely funny with Darth Fanboy in less
than five minutes, involving you, Kelly, Dunkin Donuts, and a tragic
accident.

Lets not forget those unsung heroes of the GSDA ceremonies, the
gnomes, who keep the theatre running by being worked to exhaustion
stoking the boilers in the basement, cleaning the toilets from the inside,
and of course, providing comic relief by dying messily.

Lets not forget the grand GALE entrance to the ceremony in
a giant pink dildo shaped limousine that strangely resembles
a stolen oscar meyer weinermobile, with "precum" that tastes
strangely like hot clam chowder dribbling from the hole in front

and when I couldn't I handed it off to Chuck.

I think I'm beginning to see the problem here. Chuck still hates
me and can't stand the fact that I keep winning awards so he
snubs me in the most insulting way possible.

And I looked it over and thought it was funny

Your humor meter needs to be checked. I don't find this
very funny at all, Dalton:

KUJA: And the winner is… [opens envelope] Unnamed Porno Fanfic by
MKSheppard and Falkenhorst.

*Sheppard stands up and fires a gun into the air in celebration.
Three darts hit him in the back and he drops back into his seat,
smiling and cuddling up to his rifle like a teddy bear, snoring
quietly.*

LT: And the winner...

*he places the envelope on the podium, starts up the chainsaw, and
slices both in half*

LT: A Horrifying Tale of the L.T. on Vacation! Sheppard, get your
ass up here!

[Sheppard snores loudly]

FALKENHORST: And the winner is… Holy Crap! Unnamed Porno Fanfic by
MKSheppard and Falkenhorst! Shep!

*snores*

*Hit-Man and Sheppard take to the stage...well, Hit-Man takes to the
stage, levitating Sheppard behind him...*

SHEPPARD: [drooling] Mwaa...I...thankeeees for teh...shiny, award
yay! did lotsa workzzz on teh fanifffxx fo rre th....[grins and
falls back asleep, still drooling]

Y'know, I'm sort of getting the not so SUBTLE
message that Chuck is sending me this year, and last year, when
he did the same thing when I won Best Ground Combat for
The Division.

Last year, I was willing to shrug off as being a random event, but
this year, it happens again on a much larger scale, oh what a surprise.

I'm out of fanfics for at least a year, because I'm tired of being demeaned
and humilated during what should be a ceremony where everyone has
fun. It's happened to me two years in a row, and I'll be god damned if
it's going to happen a third year in a row. No way am I going to put
any effort into writing if the end result is going to be the same; me
treated like shit.

So yeah, you can have the GSDA's back, all of mine from this year. Give mine to the runner-ups for those categories, but let Falk/Fanboy/Hitman
keep their co-author ones.

[Illuminatus Primus]

So much drama over something so little.

Guys, you realize this is over a vauge insinuation in our little private geek-community's traditional set of congratulations to people who write some entertaining fic.

Calm down.

[The Yosemite Bear]

I think I said that all ready

[Sonnenburg]

I think I'm beginning to see the problem here. Chuck still hates
me and can't stand the fact that I keep winning awards so he
snubs me in the most insulting way possible.

Interesting. Since we're pulling shit out of thin air, I'm sure you hate me because the sun is hot, gas prices are high, and there's a monkey living in your closet who keeps eating your socks.

Y'know, I'm sort of getting the not so SUBTLE
message that Chuck is sending me this year, and last year, when
he did the same thing when I won Best Ground Combat for
The Division.

I didn't write last year's ceremony; I wrote the year before. In case you don't remember, this is some of what I wrote:

Ryan Crerie, aka Mark Sheppard, has been part of the ASVS fanfic scene for years. He originated the denizen characters concept with his beloved Imperial Phoenix, and went on to other successes such as Phoenix Company and The Outpost. His stories are remembered for their intense action and their pioneering spirit. Much of his work was the inspiration for other stories, such as Hit-Man's Journal, Battleground Alpha, and Revenge and Loyalty. Ryan Crerie, nominated for Lifetime Achievement Award.

Whoo-hoo! All right! I'd like to thank everybody who supported Pheonix Company and my fanfics. It's been great. Also thanks to Tom Clancy who kicks ass!!!

Shockingly evil stuff, I know.

Last year, I was willing to shrug off as being a random event, but
this year, it happens again on a much larger scale, oh what a surprise

I'm out of fanfics for at least a year, because I'm tired of being demeaned
and humilated during what should be a ceremony where everyone has
fun. It's happened to me two years in a row, and I'll be god damned if
it's going to happen a third year in a row. No way am I going to put
any effort into writing if the end result is going to be the same; me
treated like shit.

So yeah, you can have the GSDA's back, all of mine from this year. Give mine to the runner-ups for those categories, but let Falk/Fanboy/Hitman
keep their co-author ones.

I doubt I will ever change your mind, but for the rest of you who might be interested, here's the whole story, told in its truthful, boring entirety. During one of our converstaions when Rob was telling me about how much work he still had to do with the GSDA's, I offered to pitch in. He sent me everything between himself, Kuja, and the intro I had written. There was still a lot of work to do with it, so on Tuesday I finished my first draft of BOH#2. Because of the clamoring here I pushed through everything else on Wednesday and Thursday. I didn't want to write any more speeches than I had to, so I concocted the simple plan of having most speeches by non-events. In my draft, Stravo didn't even appear until his last award; Pablo obsessed over his porn star career, Kuja displayed non-talent, and I was limited to "told a boring speech." You were drugged (like Hit-Man for his first speech). It was a simple way of expediting the process, which was what everyone seemed to want. After a while I simply wrote something like *INSERT SPEECH* to go back to it later. I filled in most; but I did miss yours. When I did, I had already started on a real assignment, and I couldn't put it off any more, so I sent what I did have back. Rob was kind enough to smooth over the rough edges after that. Nobody conspired to make you look stupid; your stupidity was meant to be equal with everyone else's.

[Dalton]

Two months and you couldn't come up with shit?

Two months and I HAD NO FUCKING TIME TO DO IT, YOU SACK OF CRAP.

I think I'm beginning to see the problem here. Chuck still hates
me and can't stand the fact that I keep winning awards so he
snubs me in the most insulting way possible.

Paranoia runs deep. You schmuck.

Your humor meter needs to be checked. I don't find this
very funny at all, Dalton:

Cry me a river. I would have done more but CERTAIN PEOPLE were jumping on me to post the thing.

Y'know, I'm sort of getting the not so SUBTLE
message that Chuck is sending me this year, and last year, when
he did the same thing when I won Best Ground Combat for
The Division.

I did that and Chuck based this year off of what I did last year.

Last year, I was willing to shrug off as being a random event, but
this year, it happens again on a much larger scale, oh what a surprise.

YEAH, since it was inspired by LAST YEAR.

I'm out of fanfics for at least a year, because I'm tired of being demeaned
and humilated during what should be a ceremony where everyone has
fun. It's happened to me two years in a row, and I'll be god damned if
it's going to happen a third year in a row. No way am I going to put
any effort into writing if the end result is going to be the same; me
treated like shit.

Oh cry me a river you pride-ridden putz.

So yeah, you can have the GSDA's back, all of mine from this year. Give mine to the runner-ups for those categories, but let Falk/Fanboy/Hitman
keep their co-author ones.

A history-making act of rebellion against THE MAN, or another piece of pathetic mewling from a paranoid crybaby?

I'm done with this thread, and I'm done with you. Fuck off.

[Daltonator]

Oh yeah, I forgot that I also named an award after you, you little freak.

[Kuja]

Shep, I think you need to take a step back here. If Rob, Chuck, and I really were out to get you, all it would take to snub you permenantly would be a little *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* type agreement to pad the votes and give the GSDAs to all the runner-ups, thus screwing you over completely. It would have been pretty simple to do so, in fact, because many of the awards were close (decided by a vote or two). Nobody would ever be the wiser.

Needless to say, this didn't happen.

[MKSheppard]

Interesting. Since we're pulling shit out of thin air, I'm sure you hate me because the sun is hot, gas prices are high, and there's a monkey living in your closet who keeps eating your socks.

Actually no, We've got a "history" together. You've come out of
the blue and attacked me on the board for no reason other than to
drag out my infamous "rat" post and beat me repeatedly with it.

Goddamn, that was a hell of a big mistake I made back in 2002.

I didn't write last year's ceremony; I wrote the year before. In case you don't remember, this is some of what I wrote:

What a nice smelly red herring. Google is your friend. You wrote
that GSDA three months before my infamous "rat" post. Don't try
passing bullshit off onto me Chuckie.

Shockingly evil stuff, I know.

Yes, how shocking that you wrote that three months before I
made the "rat" post.

Nobody conspired to make you look stupid; your stupidity was meant to be equal with everyone else's.

How convient that you somehow took the time to make Pablo actually funny, but simply give me *insert snore*.

Thats kinda fishy, considering our past history together.

[MKSheppard]

Two months and I HAD NO FUCKING TIME TO DO IT, YOU SACK OF CRAP.

Yeah, No time at all, never mind the 192 hours you had totally off from
work to sleep in late during your days off.

I'm fucking pressed for time too, but I do find time to make room to
do stuff that I need to do.

Paranoia runs deep. You schmuck.

Wow fucking shit, you forget that Chuck's popped up on the board out of
the blue and began to savagely beat me over the rat post in the past.

And Yeah, nice way to overlook your Ultimatum from a few weeks ago
where you went into rabid paranoia mode and shouted about conspiracies
against you. Yeah, too bad that thread disappeared into the Land Where
Threads Really Go To Die.

Were you taking Shep Brand Pills (TM) that day?

Cry me a river. I would have done more but CERTAIN PEOPLE were jumping on me to post the thing.

Apparently Chuck here found the time to make everyone's speeches
distinctive, except for mine, where he just cut and pasted *snore*. You
know, I find that a little bit too convient.

I did that and Chuck based this year off of what I did last year.

Yeah, he was so pressed for time, he gave virtually everoyne a unique
speech except me, where he cut and pasted *snore*....

YEAH, since it was inspired by LAST YEAR.

YEAH, chuck finds the time to make everyones speech special except
mine, where he just uses Cut and paste *snore* and he has a preexisting
vendetta against me!

A history-making act of rebellion against THE MAN, or another piece of pathetic mewling from a paranoid crybaby?

You know, your "Rebel" tag in your sig irks me to no end. What
the fuck have you done in your life to actually rebel? Ordering
the decaf latte at Starbucks?

I'm done with this thread, and I'm done with you. Fuck off.

Actually no, I'd like to apologize to you. The only part where I was
actually given a speaking role that wasn't moronic or infantile was the
part written by you.

However, on the other hand, I did tell you in that pM where you got
my basic speech for the award from, that I didn't want a repeat of
last year's "Sleep thru the damn thing", so I'm a bit conflicted and
upset. You apparently remembered SOME of that PM.

[MKSheppard]

Anyway, I'm just going to extend my R&R from SDN a bit longer, to help
me forget about this entire mess, or at least bury it under the pile of excess
mental garbage in my head that I Don't Think About (TM)

[Sonnenburg]

I didn't write last year's ceremony; I wrote the year before. In case you don't remember, this is some of what I wrote:

What a nice smelly red herring. Google is your friend. You wrote
that GSDA three months before my infamous "rat" post. Don't try
passing bullshit off onto me Chuckie.

I'm sorry, guys, I know most of you are tired of this, but I can't let such a blatant lie and accusation be ignored. Shep's "infamous rat post" was made on Dec. 12, 2001 (find it by doing an ASVS search with "Max Luke rat" to verify the date, it's in the thread "[OT] Public Service Announcement"). The GSDA ceremony I referred to was posted on January 11, 2002 (find it by doing an ASVS search with "Golden Star Destroyer Award Billy Crystal" to verify the date). As you can see, the "infamous rat post" came a month BEFORE I wrote the ceremony, not after. Ryanie, I would think that you would make your ranting lies a little less transparent.

Nobody conspired to make you look stupid; your stupidity was meant to be equal with everyone else's.

How convient that you somehow took the time to make Pablo actually funny, but simply give me *insert snore*.

Thats kinda fishy, considering our past history together.

I said you wouldn't believe it. If anyone else is still in doubt... Kuja, I assume you still have all the material you submitted. The marker you put for the spot was *SPEECH* right, and it was the only spot you put it in, right? Like I said, I used *INSERT SPEECH* which is why I caught all the ones I skipped but didn't catch the last one until just before I sent it to Dalton. I know you think it sounds fishy, but sometimes a coincidence is just a coincidence.

[Pablo Sanchez]

Were you taking Shep Brand Pills (TM) that day?

Everybody has a Shep day every once in a while...

YEAH, chuck finds the time to make everyones speech special except mine, where he just uses Cut and paste *snore* and he has a preexisting vendetta against me!

Everything's about you, isn't it?

Actually no, I'd like to apologize to you. The only part where I was actually given a speaking role that wasn't moronic or infantile was the part written by you.

That's good, an apology (sort of). Now let's stop raving about this and do some heroin, pop some reds, shoot a dog through the head... shit, do whatever you have to do to take it easy.

[Darth Garden Gnome]

...
...
...

Well, I thought it was funny.

[Shinova]

*approximately a page's woth of "huh?"*

Eh, okay...so, the GSDA wasn't funny enough for Shep, if I'm understanding correctly?

Okay.....



Onto some more important business:


*walks up to podium*


I just want to point out that you guys take this "Space Cadet" thing waaay too far.


*walks off podium and into orchestra pit*

[Kuja]

Kuja, I assume you still have all the material you submitted. The marker you put for the spot was *SPEECH* right, and it was the only spot you put it in, right?

Yes. I wrote LT. Hit-man's speech and the award announcement right up to "Sheppard, get your ass up here!" Naturally, I assumed Sheppard would be getting his ass up there. The whole sleeping thing was as much a surprise to me as anyone else.

And Shep, I can't help but notice that you didn't respond to my previous post. You know, the one that said this:

Shep, I think you need to take a step back here. If Rob, Chuck, and I really were out to get you, all it would take to snub you permenantly would be a little *nudge, nudge, wink, wink* type agreement to pad the votes and give the GSDAs to all the runner-ups, thus screwing you over completely. It would have been pretty simple to do so, in fact, because many of the awards were close (decided by a vote or two). Nobody would ever be the wiser.

Needless to say, this didn't happen.

[Kuja]

Apparently Chuck here found the time to make everyone's speeches distinctive, except for mine, where he just cut and pasted *snore*. You know, I find that a little bit too convient.

Bullshit. I had one unique speech (my first) and guess what? I WROTE IT. Incredible coincidence, that. And you call Stravo's speeches unique? He thanks a borough and disppears in static each time. Apparently your definition of unique is different from mine.

Yeah, he was so pressed for time, he gave virtually everoyne a unique speech except me, where he cut and pasted *snore*....

See above.

YEAH, chuck finds the time to make everyones speech special except mine, where he just uses Cut and paste *snore* and he has a preexisting vendetta against me!

See above.

You know, your "Rebel" tag in your sig irks me to no end. What the fuck have you done in your life to actually rebel? Ordering
the decaf latte at Starbucks?

You do remember that we're on a STAR WARS board and that some of the chief players in Star Wars are the REBELS, right?

[Stravo]

BTW Just for the record I provided Dalton with my speeches. I knew it would be rough for these guys to write speeches for people, so if you were too lazy to provide them with victory speeches the onus was on you to make yourself look good. The borough thank yous was my idea that I provided to Dalton and was inserted verbatem. Why make them work hard to make you as an author sound good? You need to do that for yourself.

[Crayz9000]

I would have helped write the GSDA awards ceremony again if I'd had enough time. But that's one thing I'm kind of... um... critically short on right now...