Star Trek: Voyager--the rewrite (updated 25 October)

[Crazedwraith]

Nice read. Liked your Doctor and is up front admission he will have problems down the line. Him actually being Breveted a rank is a good move. The addition of the 'any one not legally disqualified' clause is interesting. Are the Maquis not consider criminals and even Traitors the Federation? Wouldn't that make them disqualified for brevet commissions?

[Solauren]

As the highest local legal authority, Janeway can clear them of all charges, or put a stay on or something.

As for putting the Ensigns + Jr Lieutenants in charge, it will probably be a stop-gap solution. She needs to get the ship running as quickly as possible, not worry about ranks at the moment.

[Sarevok]

The damage to the ship sounds extensive. It sounds worse than the pounding Voyager received in the episode "Year of Hell". I think Voyager is going to need external help. Anything from supplies to equipment is going to be a god send for them.

[TabascoOne]

Good thing there's a ship full of combat veterans right next door then. Including a first rate engineer, which is going to be critical.

I'm curious to see just how Janeway's going to talk our Maquis friends into joining up, since it sounds like Chatokay has the upper hand at the moment.

[Sarevok]

Who knows given the upper hand he currently enjoys Chakotay could persuade Voyager to follow his lead instead of other way around. He could argue that Voyager is very badly damaged and after they get mobile again his Maqui raider will be Voyagers main line of defense.

[CaptainChewbacca]

I'm betting the Maquis raider is going to get badly damaged. It will come down to that while Chakotay has the experience and some good people, Janeway has the resources and the legal authority. Janeway is/will be on shaky ground with her crew as it is, and a lot of them won't accept Chakotay as a captain, but they WILL accept Janeway as a Captain if Chakotay is supporting her.

[Captain Seafort]

I'm betting the Maquis raider is going to get badly damaged.

Or it already is, or they'll end up gutting it to stick Voyager back together - in decent working condition she's probably bigger, faster and stronger enough to make up for the lost flexibility two ships would provide.

[Flameblade]

God damn this story so much better than the original. Please, keep it up!

[RedImperator]

Moar writings.

------

Val Jean

Chakotay and Seska waited in Val Jean's tiny transporter room. Chakotay tapped his foot. It made him nervous, having Starfleet on his ship.

"Are you sure about this?" said Seska.

"I told you once: that ship's a flying science lab. Unless you think B'Elana can figure out how that station works all by herself, we're going to need their help to get home."

Seska nodded. "I understand. Just don't start trusting them."

"What do I look like?" said Chakotay. "Some kind of idiot?"

The transporter hummed to life. After a few seconds of sparklies, a middle-aged Lieutenant-Commander with a blue uniform and her arm in a sling appeared on the pad.

Chakotay was instantly annoyed. What, I'm not worth Janeway's precious time?. "I thought you were sending Captain Janeway," he said.

The woman smiled grimly. "I'm Acting Captain Janeway," she said. "You must be Chakotay. Permission to come aboard?"

Chakotay was glad his skin was dark enough to hide his flush. Beside him, Seska was swallowing laughter. "Yes, of course," said Chakotay, recovering himself. He offered his hand. She stepped down off the pad and shook it. Her grip was firm, and she looked him straight in the eye. Only a slight rivulet of sweat on her temple betrayed how nervous she was.

"Well, we should get started straight away," said Chakotay. "This is my second-in-command, Seska Jiasha. She'll lead us to the mess."

Tuvok and B'Elana were waiting in Val Jean's cramped messhall. Janeway greeted them all with handshakes and, for Tuvok, a tenative Vulcan salute. "Take a seat wherver you want," said Chakotay. "We're not formal here. Do you want anything to eat?"

Janeway shook her head. "I'd rather get started," she said.

Janeway sat down at the end of the table. The four Maquis clustered at the other. "Well," said Chakotay, "first things first. What brings you to the Delta Quadrant?"

Janeway explained the story of how they managed to join Val Jean, starting in the Badlands. She was surprisingly candid about the fact Voyager was hunting them; he had expected a line of Starfleet bullshit about exploring gaseous planetary anomalies or something. She was frank and candid about the damage to Voyager, too. More than once, he and Seska exchanged glances. No wonder they'd had so much trouble with the Kazons.

"What about you?" said Janeway. "Val Jean looks like she's seen some action, too."

"We took all of this back in the Alpha Quadrant," said Chakotay. "When we arrived here, we had some bumps and bruises, but no more damage to the ship. The Kazons showed up, but we outmaneuvered them and they couldn't score a hit. That's how we learned they don't have subspace sensors."

"And the transporter trick?" said Janeway.

"Seska's idea," said Chakotay. "She was the first one who noticed they had to open up gunports in their shields."

Janeway nodded her thanks to the Bajoran. "I'm sorry we didn't have more juice in that torpedo."

Chakotay shrugged. "Those are tough ships. They're not very sophisticated, not a lot of technique, but they're built for slugging matches. They're punchers." He shadowboxed a little; he couldn't help it. Seska called it an endearing quirk, how he always described ships like he would boxers.

"What do you know about the station?" said Janeway.

"Not much," said Chakotay. "Our sensors were mostly fried when we got here, and we didn't hang around very long. We've spent most of the last ten days in this system's Kuiper Belt, trying to put the ship back together. Tuvok's been studying what we have, but it's not much. We were hoping you could gather more. A lot more."

Janeway nodded. "The entire science department on Voyager is working on the problem. I'm willing to share data with you."

Chakotay looked to Tuvok. He nodded. "Send it to Tuvok," said Chakotay. "What do you want in exchange?"

"We'd like you to stick around to give us a hand if the Kazons show up again."

Chakotay nodded, but added a caveat: "Voyager can take a lot more punishment than this ship. She can dish out a lot more, too. You'd be better off if you could defend yourselves."

"We're working on making repairs," said Janeway. "We have the impulse reactors providing auxilliary power, and the engines themselves should be online soon."

B'Elana spoke up. "What about your warp core? Doesn't that provide the bulk of the power to your shields and phasers."

The look on Janeway's face said it all: I don't know. She looked suddenly like a student who hadn't done her summer reading. "Yes," said Chakotay. "All modern Starfleet vessels do it that way."

Janeway slowly nodded. "Yes, it does. But it could take days, possibly weeks to get the warp core back online."

Torres scowled. "If it was that damaged, you would have lost the ship," she said.

"My chief engineer has assured me that if we do it by the book, the inspections alone will take days," said Janeway. She was trying and failing not to sound defensive.

"So throw out the book," said B'Elana. "We don't have time for Starfleet bullshit."

"B'Elana!" said Chakotay.

"The 'book' was written in blood," said Janeway. "Every procedure in there exists because--"

"--because of hard-won experience, right, I know," said Torres. "I got that lecture in the academy, too. But that's a load of crap. Half those procedures were written in blood. The other half were written by lawyers trying to protect the Admiralty from getting blamed for another Yamato disaster."

"That's enough, B'Elana," said Chakotay. He lowered his head, took a breath. "But she's right, Captain Janeway. Now isn't the time for following the book. The Kazon will come back; you can count on that. Safety's important, but so is combat readiness." He scratched his chin. Janeway was listening. She looked angry and defensive, but she wasn't arguing. "I have an idea," he said. "How about I sent B'Elana to Voyager to help your chief get the warp reactor restarted? She's gotten this old girl running more than a few times."

"I think," said Janeway, "that there's a difference between an Intrepid-class warp drive and whatever's powering this thing."

"It's powered by matter and antimatter, isn't it?" said Torres. "I've gotten this 'thing' flying with worse damage than what you've got, and without a team of crack Academy-trained engineers to help me. If your guy can't get it done, then beam me over there and I'll have your warp drive running in half a day."

"B'Elana, maybe you should--" said Chakotay.

"I want to go home, Chakotay!" said B'Elana. "I want to get the hell out of here, and right now our only ride home is broken with nobody willing to fix it!"

"B'Elana, go," said Seska.

Torres slammed both fists down on the table before storming out of the room. Nobody said anything for a moment.

"She's right," said Seska. "And she's good. She's not some Maquis wrench monkey. She knows how to nurse a warp core."

"So do my engineers," said Janeway. "I'll decide when and how we bring our warp drive back online." She stood up. "Are we finished here?"

Chakotay stood as well. "Yes, I think so."

Tuvok, who had said nothing the whole meeting, finally spoke up. "Captain Chakotay, Captain Janeway, with your permission, I would like to transfer to Voyager."

"What for?" said Chakotay and Janeway simultaneously.

"I believe it might be useful for me to liasion directly with Voyager scientific staff."

Chakotay looked at Janeway. "I have no problem with that. He could be useful to you; he's the closest thing to a scientist I have."

Janeway nodded. "For something like this, face-to-face works better than e-mail. All right, I agree. He can come back with me."

"Good," said Chakotay. "Captain, I'm sorry about B'Elana's outbust. Please consider my offer if you find yourself shorthanded in engineering."

"I will," said Janeway. She had smoothed down her uniform and had put her calm, professional Starfleet face on. Chakotay had read enough of those to know she meant, When hell freezes over.

Chakotay escorted her back to the transporter room, along with Tuvok and Seska. When the Vulcan and the Starfleet officer finished dematerializing, Seska turned to Chakotay.

"I'm not impressed," she said.

"I think there's someting to her," said Chakotay.

"I think she's an idiot and she's going to get us all killed or stranded out here," said Seska. "It's a mistake working with her."

"You have any better options?" said Chakotay.

Seska said nothing.

#

Voyager

To Janeway's surprise, she materialized in Voyagers regular transporter room. Carey must have gotten them fixed. The lights were burning steady, too. Not bad for half an hour's work.

"Welcome to Voyager," she said to Tuvok. "Let me show you to the science labs."

"Captain Janeway," said Tuvok. His face was an expressionless Vulcan mask. "There is one thing I believe you must know."

"What?" she said.

"I am not a Maquis. I am an agent of Starfleet Intelligence, working undercover within the Maquis. Once we return to the Alpha Quadrant, I intend to arrest Chakotay and his crew."

"What the hell is this?" said Janeway, "some kind of test? You can tell Chakotay that if he doesn't want to trust me, he can find his own way--"

"Computer," said Tuvok. "Verify Starfleet identity number and biometric signature." He rattled off a string of letters and numbers.

"Identitiy comfirmed: Lieutenant-Commander Tuvok, Starfleet Intelligence," said the computer.

Nobody said anything.

"I take it," said Tuvok, "that Captain Bujold did not brief you fully about Voyager's mission."

"No, she didn't, actually," said Janeway. Fuck me running, she thought. Her life had just gotten even more complicated.

#

Kazon battleship Predator

Predator limped at low warp back to base, one system over from Ocampa. Maje Jabin cursed the Caretaker for not allowing the Kazon to maintain a base in its system, cursed the aliens for what they'd done to his ship, cursed himself for falling into their trap, cursed his ship for just barely surviving, instead of simply exploding and saving him from the disgrace that awaited him once word of this disaster spread.

"Kinell!" said Jabin. "Your report!"

Jabin's first mate scurried up to the dais where Jabin kept his command seat. Kinell was carrying a computer tablet with a video queued up. "We found the security footage," said Kinell.

"Let me see," said Jabin, taking the tablet. He started the video. On the screen, a Kazon warrior--the hapless Mierna--was guarding a primary power junction. Suddenly, behind him, there was a shimmering, sparkling light, and a black lozenge-shaped, coffin-sized container appeared out of thin air. Mierna reached out for it, there was a flash, and the camera went dead.

"So they do have some kind of teleporting weapon," said Jabin. "How did it get through our shields?"

"We don't know yet, Maje," said Kinell.

"Well, find out!" said Jabin.

"Yes, Maje," said Kinell. He scurried away with the tablet.

Jabin sat back in his seat and thought about many things--about how to salvage what he could from Predator, about all the letters he had to write to newly-made widows and orphans, about how he was going to explain and atone for this disaster, about how he might save his honor and career. But most of all, he thought of that sleek white alien ship, about that tiny fighter that the Caretaker had pulled through ten days before, about teleporter bombs and shields and how he was going to punish those aliens if it was the last thing he ever did.

He thought about the Caretaker, too. "That fucking machine," he said, "is becoming more trouble than it's worth." After a while, he took out his own tablet and started composing his thoughts.

[CaptainChewbacca]

Kazon writing letters to windows and orphans? Tuvok and Janeway being strangers? THE TWISTS JUST KEEP COMING!

[TabascoOne]

Never saw Voyager, so most of this is new to me regardless, but I really like what I see.

I do wonder about that little white fighter though...

[HeavensThunderHammer]

This is simply brilliant. I really am looking forward to MMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(please.)

[Flameblade]

Holy crap, this keeps getting more and more awesome. This is how I wish Voyager would have gone.

[RedImperator]

Tuvok and Janeway being strangers? THE TWISTS JUST KEEP COMING!

That was a change I didn't want to make, actually. I thought the Janeway-Tuvok relationship was interesting, and honestly Janeway could use a friend right now. But it makes no sense that a career science officer would be close personal friends with a spook, let alone his CO.

I'm glad people are enjoying this. I haven't responded to posts in this thread because right now 1) I'm on a little bit of a roll with it, so I feel like time spent responding to posts would be better spent writing, and 2) it's important to me that the story speak for itself, without the author standing by to explain anything. This has changed from a one-off lark to kind of a practice project for me, and it works better as practice if I don't have the luxury of explaining ambiguities.

[Soontir C'boath]

Wow, I can't believe it's been almost two years since you started this. I hope to see more coming. It certainly has a more professional approach than the shows ever gave.

[open_sketchbook]

You mentioned that you weren't going to countinue past the pilot; do you think I could take over? I've recently got the first three seasons of Voyager as part of a big pack on Ebay and I'd like to put them to good use keeping this awesome idea going by rewriting and improving on those episodes rather than just letting the thread die and the DVDs gather dust on my shelf (because heaven knows I would not watch Voyager for any other reason. Personally, I don't like touching the packaging too much, just in case)

[Xon]

I love the nod that Starfleet regs are written in the blood of the survivors and a desperate command not wanting it to happen again.

[tim31]

Yeah, me too. I like the role Tuvok has assumed; it was always frustratingly clumsy that the security chief(and I hate that title) of an exploratory vessel would be a deep cover agent in a terrorist cell. Not bloody likely. If I know our Red, we're going to see an ongoing animosity between Val Jean crewers and Tuvok once they find out he's a turncoat. If I recall correctly, in 'Caretaker' Chakotay basically said 'meh, he's a vulcan, what are you going to do? But Paris! Fucking Paris!'

[Stofsk]

Voyager didn't take long before it completely discarded its central premise of being two crews brought together through calamity. Hell even by the end of the pilot, Janeway was saying how this would be 'one crew, a starfleet crew.'

Red's fanfic is about a million times better than the actual show, which shows how good a writer Red is with his midas touch, and how terribly inept the writers for Voyager were.

[tim31]

Actually they later did a story near the end of season three that explored the possibilities. It began promisingly and then dissolved into a holomalfunction episode. Such a shame.

[RedImperator]

Acting Captain's Log, Stardate 48308.1:

It has been twelve hours since we have arrived in the Delta Quadrant. I remain in command of Voyager as acting captain, despite my own reservations about my qualification for the position. Starfleet doctrine is clear: in a crisis, a stable chain of command is vital. Accordingly, I have assigned the senior surviving officers in each department the position of acting department head. The only position still vacant is first officer. I can't spare anyone to take the job; as it is, I have ensigns and junior lieutenants heading departments. Lieutenant Carey is the most senior surviving officer besides myself, and should I be killed or incapacitated, command of Voyager will devolve to him, but the actual duties of first officer--discipline, organizing department heads, and the regular day-to-day minutia of running a starship--I have taken on myself.

In the meantime, the enormous task of repairing Voyager continues. Our defensive systems are working again--more or less. Without warp power, phasers and shields are limited to less than half their full capacity. Worse, our impulse drive is still out; after three failed test starts, engineering still has not identified the problem. Fortunately, we do have photon torpedoes working properly again, and the structural integrity field is back at full strength. Mr. Carey had to use most of our spare plasma relays to do it, but he convinced me by pointing out how badly damaged we were by our trip out here. If we have any hope of surviving a return trip to the Alpha Quadrant, we'll need the SIF at full strength.

We still have no warp power and no prospect for getting it. I stand by my conviction that Starfleet regulations were written for a reason, and we can't risk further damage to the ship by restarting the warp core without a full inspection...but every minute we sit here, exactly where the Kazons found us the last time, I itch.

Our only hope for returning home lies with whatever brought us here to begin with. Other than the Kazons, however, nothing and nobody has attempted to contact us, including the space station orbiting this planet. It's maddening not knowing why we're even here. More than one person has suggested that the Kazons pulled us through, perhaps using technology they stole from somebody more advanced than themselves. I admit the idea has a certain logic, but I find it difficult to believe the Kazons are anything but opportunists who prey on somebody else's victims.

For now, our only hope of getting home lies in figuring out how we got here on our own. I am convinced the station had something to do with it. Ensign Wildman is coordinating the science department to learn everything we can about it. As expected with a 22 year old ensign, there have been a few snags in organization that required my personal intervention to sort out, but we're now collecting good data and have started analyzing it. I'm helping with that as much as I can, when my other duties don't demand my attention.

Which brings us to the problem of Tuvok. Ostensibly, he's here to assist the science department and report our findings back to Chakotay. I find that he hasn't been much help. Humans tend to assume every Vulcan is either a scientist or a mystic, but just because a man has pointy ears and a commbadge, doesn't mean he's Mr. Spock. Tuvok knows barely more about science than a fresh academy graduate. He may well have been Chakotay's go-to 'science guy', but that could only be because the rest of his crew knew even less.

Lieutenant Gombe, who does not know Tuvok's true mission, suggested Chakotay must know that Tuvok can't help us in the science department, and sent him as a spy. At first I dismissed it as too clumsy, but I wonder if Chakotay, for all his tactical skill, truly understands intelligence and counter-intelligence. The evidence suggests otherwise; after all, one of his most trusted subordinates is a Starfleet spy.

I wish I didn't have to think about this. I have enough problems without worrying about how we're going to arrest the Maquis (who saved our lives) as soon as we get back. Tuvok wants a meeting to talk about it; I've put him off for now.

Finally, the casualty report. The Doctor [note: he needs a name] has revised the total number of deaths up to fifty-three, with six missing and a dozen more critical injuries that require hospitalization. That's more than one-third of the crew dead or incapacitated. The missing are almost certainly crew members who were incinerated by plasma blowouts or sucked out into space. The only hope left is that some of them are trapped in isolated compartments that have lost internal sensors. The Doctor has devised a probe we can beam into these compartments without risking the lives of search crews. I'm sure it's an illusion, but he seemed quite proud of it. We will start beaming them to "black" compartments within the hour.


#

"Nothing," said the ops officer, whose name Tom Paris hadn't caught. "No debris, no warp trail."

Paris nodded. He looked over Stadi's shoulder at the helm console, wondering for the hundredth time what she looked like under the form-fitting Starfleet tunic. It had occured to him, vaguely, that she was a Betazed and could probably hear his thoughts, but other than occasional encounters with the dog-faced guards of New Senegal women's camp, this was as close as he'd been to a woman in years.

"Set course 636 mark 49," he said. "Warp 2."

He heard whispering behind him. He turned to see Cavitt and Bujold conferring. Cavitt looked angry; Bujold looked tired. They'd been searching the Badlands for most of the day.

Bujold noticed him watching them. "Mr. Paris," she said, "how much longer do you expect this to take?"

"I don't know, ma'am," he said, truthfully. "The Badlands are as riled as I've ever seen them. We have to go slow."

"Like hell we do," said Cavitt. "We could use our own sensors to navigate and be at Val Jean's last reported location in half an hour." He pointed at Paris. "I think he's jerking us off so his old Maquis pals have time to escape."

"That's bullshit!" said Paris. "You think I actually care if Chakotay goes to jail? Hell, I'd be happy to help put him there."

"Mr. Paris, perhaps we should discuss this further in my ready room," said Bujold.

"Fine," said Paris. He followed the captain to her lavish office just off the bridge. She didn't waste any time.

"Mr. Paris, I believe my first officer is correct. I think you have been leading us on a wild goose chase in order to protect the Maquis."

"That's bullshit and you know it," said Paris. "You know I hate Chakotay's guts."

"Yes, I do," said Bujold. "But perhaps not his pilot's, no?"

Paris's ears and neck started to burn. "Fuck her. She screwed me, too."

"In more ways than one, no doubt," said Bujold. "Mr. Paris, I offered you a deal in good faith, and in return you lied to me. I will give you one last chance. Tell me the fastest way to the Rat's Nest right now, or I will have you escorted to the brig."

Paris sighed. The game was up. He told her.

"Thank you, Mr. Paris," she said. She tapped her communicator. "You may come in now," she said.

The ready room doors slid open and two big security goons walked in. "Take him to the brig," said Bujold.

"What!" said Paris. "You said you wouldn't send me to the brig if I told you!"

"I lied," said Bujold. "Now we're even." The goons siezed him by both arms and half-led, half-drag him across the bridge, to the turbolift. Just before the lift doors slid shut, he heard Bujold order the ship to yellow alert.

#

Paris woke from his dream in thick, steamy darkness. The ventilation and lights had failed in his cell hours ago, leaving him to drift in and out of oxygen-deprived consciousness total blackness, while the air grew hotter (has the cooling system failed? he thought) and saturated with dampness from his own breath and body. When he was awake, all he could think about, besides his own misery, was how stupid he'd been to get himself stuck in this situation. Once again, he'd screwed up, and this time, it would probably kill him. Even sleeping was no relief; his oxygen-starved brain was replayed it over and over, in living technicolor, in his dreams.

His eyes were so dark-adapted that the faint blue sparkle of transporter dazzled him. It was outside the cell. Instinctively, he stood up and tried to walk over to get a better view, only to be stopped by the forcefield, the only thing left on the brig that still worked. Even from his angle, he could tell it wasn't man-sized.

"Hey!" he shouted anyway. "Help me!" And then he stopped shouting, momentarily flabbergasted, when he saw what had arrived in the brig. Floating just outside his cell, illuminated faintly by the lights of its own screen, was an unfolded medical tricorder, dangling from the bottom of a hoverball.

After a minute, it disappeared in another ripple of sparkles. A moment later, so did he.

[Vehrec]

Woo! New update without waiting six months! Actually reasonable log entries! Paris getting jerked around by people-is this a theme that everyone screws with him?

[Themightytom]

they duct taped a medical tricorder to a hoverball?

Why does it have to hover, are tricorders unidirectional scanners?

[CaptainChewbacca]

they duct taped a medical tricorder to a hoverball?

Why does it have to hover, are tricorders unidirectional scanners?

If there's a lot of damage to the ship they don't know about, hovering means the tricorder can't fall through a hole in the floor.

[Stofsk]

The more I read, the more I like. Keep it up Red.