How Stravo Got His Groove Back

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-22 03:35pm

If I were to add to that joke, a superfreighter of characters would be floating by, a third of them attempting to kill me for various reasons, another third are a third of them are trying to kill everybody, while another third are running form the second third.

The rest can move witht he barge under their own power, and are to busy laughing at me or pondering who-knows-what (tm) to try and sav me.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-22 03:38pm

*reads Singular's post, inverts letters, adds letters, puts spaces in the right place* Ah, yes.

So, one third plus one ninth plus one third equals the rest.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-22 03:46pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:*reads Singular's post, inverts letters, adds letters, puts spaces in the right place* Ah, yes.

Quiet, you. I've read through worse, regularly.

So, one third plus one ninth plus one third equals the rest.

What it should look like:

If I were to add to that joke, a superfreighter of characters would be floating by, a third of them attempting to kill me for various reasons, another third are are trying to kill everybody, while another third are running form the second third.

Another group of characters are moving alongside the barge (most fo them are ships a few hundred times larger than the barge itself) and are to busy either laughing at me or pondering who-knows-what (tm) to try and save me.

That better?

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-22 03:54pm

Muuuuuuuuch better.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-22 04:16pm

Kelly Antilles wrote:Muuuuuuuuch better.

"Good. Now if you excuse me..."

*SQ runs away as the air itself bursts into a bright white burning beam of hellish plasma and radiation.*

"YOU MISSED!"

*Expolisions are seen and heard as firepower reigns down on top of SQ.*

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-22 07:47pm

LOL!! That was hilarious.

CYRAN: Because Zaia hugs me and not Iggy.

IGGY: *growl*

KELLY: *coldly* Oh. I see.

IGGY: It's only because you're not there, Kelly! If you were there, I wouldn't be worried about Zaia?

ZAIA: *coldly* Oh really?

IGGY: No! I mean, I like you too, Zaia, a lot, and-

KELLY: Oh, a lot, huh?

IGGY: No!

ZAIA: You don't?

IGGY: ACK! I can't flirt with two women at once!

DALTON: *to STRAVO* should we step in?

STRAVO: Nah, it's more fun to stand by and watch him flounder.

DALTON: Good point.

This was a GREAT part.[/quote]

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-05-22 08:19pm

Hehe. They're all in Limbo.

...

Why is Kelly there?

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-22 08:24pm

Darth Yoshi wrote:Hehe. They're all in Limbo.

...

Why is Kelly there?

Why do you think? Hmmmmmm?

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-23 12:19am

Darth Yoshi wrote:Hehe. They're all in Limbo.

...

Why is Kelly there?

Because my poor, bruised, mistreated mind put her there, obviously.

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-05-23 08:41am

IG-88E wrote: Because my poor, bruised, mistreated mind put her there, obviously.

*kiss Iggy's forehead* My poor assassin droid.

Darth Fanboy · Post by **Darth Fanboy** » 2003-05-23 12:15pm

poor bruised and mistreated? jesus Christ Iggy, you haven't been watching Voyager reruns again have you?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-05-23 02:52pm

Darth Fanboy wrote:poor bruised and mistreated? jesus Christ Iggy, you haven't been watching Voyager reruns again have you?

Right now, numerous things are coming to mind as to what is worse than that. *shudder's in revulsion and horror*

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-05-23 02:55pm

Iggy's a masochist.

Captain Cyran · Post by **Captain Cyran** » 2003-05-23 04:12pm

Aya wrote:Iggy's a masochist.

You say that as if it's a bad thing.

Pcm979 · Post by **Pcm979** » 2003-05-23 08:26pm

This is very, very, very exellently absolutely rib-shatteringly funny.

And I need a spellchecker.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-05-24 01:00am

Darth Fanboy wrote:poor bruised and mistreated? jesus Christ Iggy, you haven't been watching Voyager reruns again have you?

Wow! A crack in the event horizon! That 'splains everything!

Little voice: please kill me now.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-08-03 07:50pm

OK, last night, some unknown person threw a brick through my computer room window. Attached to it was a note: 'GET ME MY GROOVE BACK, DAMMIT!'

So I did.

Part 10: Adventures in Womanizing

*fade in on STRAVO, ZAIA, KUJA, and CYRAN walking down the street, late afternoon*

KUJA: Are we there yet?

STRAVO: If we were, we wouldn't be walking, would we?

*KUJA sighs*

CYRAN: I'm hungry.

ZAIA: You scarfed down that hot dog less than ten minutes ago! How could you still be hungry?

KUJA: Hey, cut us a little slack. You didn't have to wage war against the angry green giant. That's enough to make anyone hungry.

*the group continues in silence for a few minutes. KUJA spies several females walking in the opposite direction*

KUJA: 'Scuse me.

*KUJA dashes off towards the group of women*

STRAVO: What's he-

CYRAN: Quiet. You gotta check this out.

*KUJA begins speaking to the group of women. One of them smiles and says something to the others, who also smile. KUJA takes out a little black book and begins scribbling something down*

STRAVO: Wow. That's pretty good.

*KUJA leaves the group of women and walks back to the others, still scribbling in his little black book*

KUJA: Hehe. Not bad. Jenna, Moana, Alisha, and Lola. I gotta remember this for my next trip here.

CYRAN: How do you do that?!

KUJA: Huh? Do what?

CYRAN: Everywhere we go, you're always finding these women…

KUJA: Yeah?

CYRAN: And I'm always by myself-

*KUJA bursts out laughing*

CYRAN: Oh, thanks a lot!

KUJA: Sorry, sorry. Just an automatic reaction. So, what you're saying is you wanna learn from the master?

CYRAN: Well, one little lesson can't hurt…

ZAIA: Don't do it, Cyran.

KUJA: *ignoring her* Well, let's find you a target. There, see that brunette there? Go up to her and say- *KUJA whispers in CYRAN'S ear*

CYRAN: Are you sure?

KUJA: Absolutely. Go for it.

*camera remains on KUJA, ZAIA, and STRAVO as CYRAN walks off*

CYRAN: *offscreen* Excuse me, miss.

GIRL: Yes?

CYRAN: I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

*a moment of silence, immediately followed by everyone onscreen wincing*

KUJA: Ouch.

STRAVO: Yikes.

ZAIA: That's not right.

*CYRAN staggers back onscreen*

KUJA: Sorry about that, buddy. I guess I should've mentioned that that line only has a twenty-percent success rate.

ZAIA: You keep success rates?!

KUJA: *confused* Well, yeah. Anyway, let's try again. See that blond chick over there? The one serving drinks? Tell her- *KUJA whispers in CYRAN'S ear* Trust me on this one, it ALWAYS works.

CYRAN: OK. *he walks off again* Pardon me.

GIRL 2: Can I help you?

CYRAN: Is that a run in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

*a moment of silence*

ALL: OH!

KUJA: Now that was totally uncalled for.

ZAIA: She must've had a bad night.

STRAVO: I wonder if she moonlights as a kick boxer?

*CYRAN staggers back, than falls over at KUJA'S feet. KUJA promptly helps him back up*

KUJA: Now, don't let this get you down, Captain. Third time's the charm. *KUJA scans the street for several minutes* OK, prime target. The redhead that just turned the corner. Tell her- *KUJA mumbles something* It's a bit less risqué, so I don't think you'll get…injured…again.

CYRAN: *sigh* OK. *he slowly walks off* Excuse me?

GIRL 3: Yes?

CYRAN: I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

GIRL 3: *laughs* Well, aren't you cute? What's your name, sweetie?

CYRAN: I'm Cyran! Say, has anyone ever told you that you bear a striking resemblance to Captain…Kathryn…Jane…way…

*CYRAN runs back onscreen*

CYRAN: RUN AWAY! RUN AWAY!

*CYRAN runs off the other side of the screen*

KUJA: Come on!

*everyone else chases CYRAN down the street*

KATE MULGREW: Now what in God's name was that all about?

*CUT TO: the door of a men's bathroom. ZAIA leans against the wall and sighs. CUT TO: inside the bathroom. CYRAN is holding his head under the faucet of a sink while KUJA and STRAVO stand by*

CYRAN: UNCLEAN! UNCLEAN!

KUJA: *softly* God, revenge is sweet.

STRAVO: What?

KUJA: *panicking* I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING!

STRAVO: Okay, okay! Jeez!

*fade out*

Kelly Antilles · Post by **Kelly Antilles** » 2003-08-03 07:55pm

*chuckle* Maybe this shoule be "how Kaja got his groove back."

Stravo · Post by **Stravo** » 2003-08-03 09:35pm

Ahh....wonderful. Always good to see one of our finest writers back on track, and it doesn;t help than I am one of the stars of his latest work either.

VERY funny Kuja. Welcome back and PLEASE don't ever even tease us with the possibility of Janeway porn again.

Jason von Evil · Post by **Jason von Evil** » 2003-08-03 10:18pm

Remind me to never ask for your advise, Kuja.

Anyways, very funny.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2003-08-04 01:04pm

You evil, evil man... I congradulate you.

Darth Yoshi · Post by **Darth Yoshi** » 2003-08-05 01:58pm

Ouch. That can't be pleasant.

Post by **haas mark** » 2003-08-05 04:31pm

Damn, I'd say I'm lucky I'm gay, but obviously with you that would go nowhere... -dark look-

Still funny, though.

~ver

Post by **Zaia** » 2003-08-08 12:15am

w00t w00t!! Good chapter, Kujalicious!! I missed you and your wordsmith abilities, you know, darlin'.

Post by **Kuja** » 2003-08-08 12:19am

Zaia wrote:w00t w00t!! Good chapter, Kujalicious!! I missed you and your wordsmith abilities, you know, darlin'.

*blush*

Aw, thanks.