How Stravo Got His Groove Back
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I laughed so long and hard that everyone within 17 miles of me came over to ask what was so funny.Kuja wrote:I thought you'd like that.Zaia wrote:ROTFLMFAO!!!
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So...granted I have had little to no contact with you in any meaningful way...can I get a part? Even if it's only to show you all up and look all dazzling in my dress white uniform and walk away with all the chicks?
Hey, I can hope, can't I?
Hey, I can hope, can't I?
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This is the price of war,
We rise with noble intentions,
And we risk all that is pure..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, Forever (Rome: Total War)
"On and on, through the years,
The war continues on..." - Angela & Jeff van Dyck, We Are All One (Medieval 2: Total War)
"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear." - Ambrose Redmoon
"You either die a hero, or you live long enough to see yourself become the villain." - Harvey Dent, The Dark Knight
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Actually, that gives me an idea...Kuja, maybe you should have a Gnome revolution in NYC? And have cameo appearances of DGG and the other major gnomes.RogueIce wrote:So...granted I have had little to no contact with you in any meaningful way...can I get a part? Even if it's only to show you all up and look all dazzling in my dress white uniform and walk away with all the chicks?
Hey, I can hope, can't I?
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I make no promises.Captain_Cyran wrote:Actually, that gives me an idea...Kuja, maybe you should have a Gnome revolution in NYC? And have cameo appearances of DGG and the other major gnomes.RogueIce wrote:So...granted I have had little to no contact with you in any meaningful way...can I get a part? Even if it's only to show you all up and look all dazzling in my dress white uniform and walk away with all the chicks?
Hey, I can hope, can't I?
JADAFETWA
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Only needs to be a passing thing, besides, gnomes aren't that important and could be easily crushed by the local police force.Kuja wrote:I make no promises.Captain_Cyran wrote:Actually, that gives me an idea...Kuja, maybe you should have a Gnome revolution in NYC? And have cameo appearances of DGG and the other major gnomes.RogueIce wrote:So...granted I have had little to no contact with you in any meaningful way...can I get a part? Even if it's only to show you all up and look all dazzling in my dress white uniform and walk away with all the chicks?
Hey, I can hope, can't I?
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OOOK! OOK!!!!!
~ver
~ver
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I'm surprised they haven't been kicked out of the restaurant yet.
Now there's an idea.Captain_Cyran wrote:Only needs to be a passing thing, besides, gnomes aren't that important and could be easily crushed by the local police force.
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What do you mean "I'm sure there was a rain forest here a minute ago" ?verilon wrote:OOOK! OOK!!!!!
~ver
or was that "Excuse me but this is my rubber ring"?
Need to work on my english-orang translating.
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I'm not saying what I said.. you were pretty close, but it's inda naughty. :P2000AD wrote:What do you mean "I'm sure there was a rain forest here a minute ago" ?verilon wrote:OOOK! OOK!!!!!
~ver
or was that "Excuse me but this is my rubber ring"?
Need to work on my english-orang translating.
~ver
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I think I have an idea, but my fortay is Chimpanzee, not Orangitan. While most of the grammer and syntax is the same, alot of the words have different pitches to them, but it's possible to work through.verilon wrote:I'm not saying what I said.. you were pretty close, but it's inda naughty. :P2000AD wrote:What do you mean "I'm sure there was a rain forest here a minute ago" ?verilon wrote:OOOK! OOK!!!!!
~ver
or was that "Excuse me but this is my rubber ring"?
Need to work on my english-orang translating.
~ver
Hmm... that's nice, ver, and I didn't really need to know that.
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Part 15: I Wanna Riot!
*fade in on CYRAN and KUJA. CYRAN is fishing around in his traveling bag*
CYRAN: Here they are.
*he sets several balls on the table. They are labeled 'Angry Bombs'. KUJA picks one up*
KUJA: Good idea. Now, we need a proper target. *they scan the area* Look over there, a bunch of warsie wannabes!
*at a table some distance away sits a MIKE WONG WANNABE, a MASTER OF OSSUS WANNABE, and a CAPTAIN FRANK WANNABE*
CYRAN: Heheh. Me-too-ers. But what about them?
KUJA: They're easy to provoke. Roll one of the bombs under their table.
CYRAN: OK.
*CYRAN takes careful aim, pulls the pin, and rolls an Angry Bomb under the ME-TOO-ERS' table. It releases a gas with a soft hiss*
KUJA: Get ready to run. *CYRAN nods* Hey, Mike Wong-looking-guy!
WANNABE: Huh?
*KUJA takes a deep breath*
KUJA: GREEDO SHOT FIRST!
*almost immediately, a glass full of Pepsi explodes against the wall near KUJA'S head. The WANNABES stand up and begin throwing things, howling angrily. One object crashes against the head of an MIB AGENT, whose entire table rapidly jumps up and opens fire*
KUJA: OK! GO!
*KUJA and CYRAN dart out of the restaurant as a full-scale riot erupts between the WANNABES and the MIB. For absolutely no reason, BLACKMAGE and the other LIGHT WARRIORS bust out of the kitchen and join in*
ZAIA: What the hell is-
STRAVO: DOWN!
*STRAVO grabs ZAIA and pulls her under the table as various people pull out weapons and begin firing*
ZAIA: What's going on?!
STRAVO: Kuja and Cyran set them off somehow!
*an explosion*
ZAIA: But why?
STRAVO: I don't know! They must be trying to ditch us!
*another explosion*
ZAIA: What are they up to now?!
STRAVO: I don't know, but we've gotta catch them!
*weapons empty, the RIOTERS begin a massive brawl. MIB AGENTS begin beating on the WANNABES. REDMAGE and THIEF attack the MIB AGENTS. BLACKMAGE, unsurprisingly, has already turned on FIGHTER and is stabbing him repeatedly. STRAVO and ZAIA crawl out from under the table*
STRAVO: Did you see which way they went?
ZAIA: No! Maybe one of them did! *she gestures to the RIOTERS* Let me ask. *she crawls up onto the tables and cups her hands around her mouth* Hey! Everyone! Hello? Hey! Did anyone-hey! HEY! *the crowd ignores her*
STRAVO: Zaia, that's not going to work. *he helps her down*
ZAIA: I guess not.
STRAVO: Here, let me show you how it's done.
*he climbs up, cups his hands and takes a deep breath*
STRAVO: ANAL SEX!
*all activity ceases*
STRAVO: Did anyone see a pair of guys in blue robes and pointy hats?
*everyone points in one direction*
STRAVO: Thank you! You can, uh, go back to what you were doing now!
*the riot resumes. STRAVO pulls ZAIA out of the restaurant*
ZAIA: Smart move, babe. *she kisses STRAVO on the cheek* Now, let's find Cyran and hope Kuja hasn't gotten him killed yet.
STRAVO: *dreamily* Riiiiight...
*ZAIA grabs his arm and pulls*
ZAIA: Come on!
*CUT TO: a cornerside café SIR NITRAM and ROB WILSON are drinking tea and conversing in absurdly stereotypical British accents*
NITRAM: I say chum, care for a spot o' tea?
WILSON: Why, thank you, sport. Don't mind if I do.
*KUJA and CYRAN screech to a halt*
CYRAN: Hey! Cookies!
*He begins taking cookies from their table. NITRAM rises, highly offended*
NITRAM: I say-
KUJA: No saki? You guys suck!
WILSON: My word! Such language!
KUJA: Come on, Cyran!
CYRAN: *with a mouthful of cookies* Uh…'ight!
*they run off*
NITRAM: What abominable behaviour!
*STRAVO and ZAIA rush around the corner*
ZAIA: Hey! Did you guys see-
WILSON: We most certainly did! Never in my life have I witnessed such-
STRAVO: Which way did they go?
NITRAM: Well, if you must know… *he points*
STRAVO: Thanks!
*they rush off. WILSON rises*
WILSON: This is preposterous! What next?
*the riot in King Steve's spills out into the street*
NITRAM: Good heavens!
WILSON: Ah, a pleasant afternoon distraction!
*he seats himself and sips his tea, watching an MIB AGENT bash a WANNABE with the stock of a rifle. Fade out*
*fade in on CYRAN and KUJA. CYRAN is fishing around in his traveling bag*
CYRAN: Here they are.
*he sets several balls on the table. They are labeled 'Angry Bombs'. KUJA picks one up*
KUJA: Good idea. Now, we need a proper target. *they scan the area* Look over there, a bunch of warsie wannabes!
*at a table some distance away sits a MIKE WONG WANNABE, a MASTER OF OSSUS WANNABE, and a CAPTAIN FRANK WANNABE*
CYRAN: Heheh. Me-too-ers. But what about them?
KUJA: They're easy to provoke. Roll one of the bombs under their table.
CYRAN: OK.
*CYRAN takes careful aim, pulls the pin, and rolls an Angry Bomb under the ME-TOO-ERS' table. It releases a gas with a soft hiss*
KUJA: Get ready to run. *CYRAN nods* Hey, Mike Wong-looking-guy!
WANNABE: Huh?
*KUJA takes a deep breath*
KUJA: GREEDO SHOT FIRST!
*almost immediately, a glass full of Pepsi explodes against the wall near KUJA'S head. The WANNABES stand up and begin throwing things, howling angrily. One object crashes against the head of an MIB AGENT, whose entire table rapidly jumps up and opens fire*
KUJA: OK! GO!
*KUJA and CYRAN dart out of the restaurant as a full-scale riot erupts between the WANNABES and the MIB. For absolutely no reason, BLACKMAGE and the other LIGHT WARRIORS bust out of the kitchen and join in*
ZAIA: What the hell is-
STRAVO: DOWN!
*STRAVO grabs ZAIA and pulls her under the table as various people pull out weapons and begin firing*
ZAIA: What's going on?!
STRAVO: Kuja and Cyran set them off somehow!
*an explosion*
ZAIA: But why?
STRAVO: I don't know! They must be trying to ditch us!
*another explosion*
ZAIA: What are they up to now?!
STRAVO: I don't know, but we've gotta catch them!
*weapons empty, the RIOTERS begin a massive brawl. MIB AGENTS begin beating on the WANNABES. REDMAGE and THIEF attack the MIB AGENTS. BLACKMAGE, unsurprisingly, has already turned on FIGHTER and is stabbing him repeatedly. STRAVO and ZAIA crawl out from under the table*
STRAVO: Did you see which way they went?
ZAIA: No! Maybe one of them did! *she gestures to the RIOTERS* Let me ask. *she crawls up onto the tables and cups her hands around her mouth* Hey! Everyone! Hello? Hey! Did anyone-hey! HEY! *the crowd ignores her*
STRAVO: Zaia, that's not going to work. *he helps her down*
ZAIA: I guess not.
STRAVO: Here, let me show you how it's done.
*he climbs up, cups his hands and takes a deep breath*
STRAVO: ANAL SEX!
*all activity ceases*
STRAVO: Did anyone see a pair of guys in blue robes and pointy hats?
*everyone points in one direction*
STRAVO: Thank you! You can, uh, go back to what you were doing now!
*the riot resumes. STRAVO pulls ZAIA out of the restaurant*
ZAIA: Smart move, babe. *she kisses STRAVO on the cheek* Now, let's find Cyran and hope Kuja hasn't gotten him killed yet.
STRAVO: *dreamily* Riiiiight...
*ZAIA grabs his arm and pulls*
ZAIA: Come on!
*CUT TO: a cornerside café SIR NITRAM and ROB WILSON are drinking tea and conversing in absurdly stereotypical British accents*
NITRAM: I say chum, care for a spot o' tea?
WILSON: Why, thank you, sport. Don't mind if I do.
*KUJA and CYRAN screech to a halt*
CYRAN: Hey! Cookies!
*He begins taking cookies from their table. NITRAM rises, highly offended*
NITRAM: I say-
KUJA: No saki? You guys suck!
WILSON: My word! Such language!
KUJA: Come on, Cyran!
CYRAN: *with a mouthful of cookies* Uh…'ight!
*they run off*
NITRAM: What abominable behaviour!
*STRAVO and ZAIA rush around the corner*
ZAIA: Hey! Did you guys see-
WILSON: We most certainly did! Never in my life have I witnessed such-
STRAVO: Which way did they go?
NITRAM: Well, if you must know… *he points*
STRAVO: Thanks!
*they rush off. WILSON rises*
WILSON: This is preposterous! What next?
*the riot in King Steve's spills out into the street*
NITRAM: Good heavens!
WILSON: Ah, a pleasant afternoon distraction!
*he seats himself and sips his tea, watching an MIB AGENT bash a WANNABE with the stock of a rifle. Fade out*
JADAFETWA
*Stravo sing song voice* "Zaia kissed me...Zaia kissed me..."
Funny as hell and I LOVE The very proper Wilson and Nitram. This just gets funnier. Quick when's the next chapter coming out!!
Funny as hell and I LOVE The very proper Wilson and Nitram. This just gets funnier. Quick when's the next chapter coming out!!
Wherever you go, there you are.
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Pats Stravo on the back. Good job. Walks off, leaving a piece of paper that says "Turbolasers are lasers" taped to Stravos back.Stravo wrote:*Stravo sing song voice* "Zaia kissed me...Zaia kissed me..."
Funny as hell and I LOVE The very proper Wilson and Nitram. This just gets funnier. Quick when's the next chapter coming out!!
Bwahahahahaha....
Last edited by Jason von Evil on 2003-09-03 02:30pm, edited 1 time in total.
"It was the hooker rationing that finally drove people over the edge." - Mike on coup in Thailand.
Big deal. Not like it hasn't happened before.Stravo wrote:*Stravo sing song voice* "Zaia kissed me...Zaia kissed me..."
Indeed!!!!!! I LOVE THIS STORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!Funny as hell and I LOVE The very proper Wilson and Nitram. This just gets funnier. Quick when's the next chapter coming out!!
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
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Ah...but the problem is sweetest it doesn't happen often enough.Zaia wrote:Big deal. Not like it hasn't happened before.Stravo wrote:*Stravo sing song voice* "Zaia kissed me...Zaia kissed me..."
Wherever you go, there you are.
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Awwwww, Aya! You don't have to feel like that! *kisses Aya's cheek* I don't mind passin' some love around. Especially to my favourites.Aya wrote:Some of us are feeling pretty neglected.Zaia wrote:Big deal. Not like it hasn't happened before.Stravo wrote:*Stravo sing song voice* "Zaia kissed me...Zaia kissed me..."
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
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LOL! That was great Kuja.
KUJA: GREEDO SHOT FIRST!
STRAVO: ANAL SEX!
*all activity ceases*
Wonderful chapter Kuja, starting a war in NYC. The Nitram Wilson thing was good, very odd, them being proper like that, but amusing because of it. I can't wait to cause more havoc...
KUJA: GREEDO SHOT FIRST!
STRAVO: ANAL SEX!
*all activity ceases*
Wonderful chapter Kuja, starting a war in NYC. The Nitram Wilson thing was good, very odd, them being proper like that, but amusing because of it. I can't wait to cause more havoc...
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o_oZaia wrote:Awwwww, Aya! You don't have to feel like that! *kisses Aya's cheek* I don't mind passin' some love around. Especially to my favourites.
Excuse me. Walks into nearest closet and closes door. Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaw! Exits closet. I'm feeling good.
"It was the hooker rationing that finally drove people over the edge." - Mike on coup in Thailand.
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[laughs uproariously]*weapons empty, the RIOTERS begin a massive brawl. MIB AGENTS begin beating on the WANNABES. REDMAGE and THIEF attack the MIB AGENTS. BLACKMAGE, unsurprisingly, has already turned on FIGHTER and is stabbing him repeatedly. STRAVO and ZAIA crawl out from under the table*
<snip>
STRAVO: ANAL SEX!
*all activity ceases*
Good chapter, Kuja.
[thwaps self for not being used to not saying "Iggy" yet]
~ver
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*Arrives to the thread fashionably late*
Great chapter man. How wonderful it is to see Nitram say "What abominable behaviour!" The whole mess had me exhausted from laughter.
And a passing mention wouldn't hurt. You might as well; after Operation Shadow Sneeze is fully underway, a resurected and fully rejuvinated SEGNOR will blackmail you into the position with faked bank transactions and planted evidence of your link to Al Queda anyways.
Great chapter man. How wonderful it is to see Nitram say "What abominable behaviour!" The whole mess had me exhausted from laughter.
"Kid, I own the police!"Captain_Cyran wrote:Only needs to be a passing thing, besides, gnomes aren't that important and could be easily crushed by the local police force.
And a passing mention wouldn't hurt. You might as well; after Operation Shadow Sneeze is fully underway, a resurected and fully rejuvinated SEGNOR will blackmail you into the position with faked bank transactions and planted evidence of your link to Al Queda anyways.
Leader of the Secret Gnome Revolution