Armageddon???? - Part Eighty One Up

Teebs · Post by **Teebs** » 2008-08-23 08:23am

Col. Crackpot wrote: I'm sure the Anglicans frown on calling Jesus a stoner.

They would probably have another schism over it.

JBG · Post by **JBG** » 2008-08-23 11:33pm

My feeble attempt:

"Millennia ago Heaven and Hell condemned Humanity to perpetual torment. Humanity will not tolerate this any longer."

Chris OFarrell · Post by **Chris OFarrell** » 2008-08-24 03:21am

I'd keep the blurb on the back very short frankly. Perhaps like this:

"Man verse Monsters"
"Superstition verse Science"
"Faith verses Firepower"

"The bible called this time 'Armageddon'; the end to all things and the start of a new era. And so the dreaded day has come to pass...and it has not quite unfolded as Heaven or Hell predicted".

Peptuck · Post by **Peptuck** » 2008-08-24 04:13am

Heaven has condemned mankind.....

Hell has come to claim mankind.....

Mankind will educate both.

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2008-08-24 05:19am

The Apocalypse has come. Only the damned, destined to an eternity in Hell, remain on Earth. In the depths of Hell, the devils stir and wait.

The damned, however, have other ideas . . .

FaxModem1 · Post by **FaxModem1** » 2008-08-24 09:13am

"In the First War, Heaven fought Hell. This time, Earth will be doing the fighting."
(Imagine the trailer guy saying that one.)

"In the war between Good and Evil, all humankind has to rely on...is itself."

And to totally rip off Army of Darkness:
"Good. Bad. Humanity's the one with the guns."

"Hell is possessing claim over Earth. The current tenants aren't happy."

"Three Domains, three sides, only one can be victorious."

Feel them around, tell me what you think.

fnord · Post by **fnord** » 2008-08-24 09:47am

These all are probably fairly weak, and just thrown out there

"You've heard about Hell on Earth. Now it's time to return the favour."

"Armageddon: Game NOT Over" (cadged from the adrenaline vault, admittedly)

"Humanity To Hell's Thug Squads: BUGGER YOU!" (more of a newspaper headline)

Dammit, I'm still partial to Zor's "When All Hell Breaks Loose..." tagline.

Post by **NecronLord** » 2008-08-24 10:09am

Zor's tagline's the best so far, I think.

PainRack · Post by **PainRack** » 2008-08-24 11:35am

I'm partial to Zor tagline too.

Although I'm suddenly reminded of "Remember the Dead, but Fight for the Living!" tagline.

tim31 · Post by **tim31** » 2008-08-24 11:49am

Zor's is totally the best.

They came to our world

They destroyed our cities

But on November 7th

They'll learn

They messed

With the wrong species.

NUKE EM! WOOO HOOOO!

FedRebel · Post by **FedRebel** » 2008-08-24 12:39pm

Here's some running through my head

"By God's command the gates have been locked, and there was rapture

Now Satan has come to collect all who remain, but the survivors will not go willingly"

----------------------------------------

"The time has come for humanity to give Hell...Hell"

----------------------------------------

"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -Judges 1:19

Zim · Post by **Zim** » 2008-08-24 12:50pm

Tonight we dine in hell.

Bayonet · Post by **Bayonet** » 2008-08-24 07:11pm

How about just,"Go to Hell!"

White Haven · Post by **White Haven** » 2008-08-24 07:15pm

Guys...look back a page, look at the current front runner, and if yours isn't as cool-sounding, rethink it. As awesome as page after page of lukewarm tag-lines is to read.

Stormin · Post by **Stormin** » 2008-08-24 07:40pm

The path to God begins in Hell

EdBecerra · Post by **EdBecerra** » 2008-08-24 08:18pm

"Humanity: We've got the big bombs."

Ed.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2008-08-24 09:29pm

A trailer? You want a trailer? Piff fine I'll give you one

(Crawl of various studio's, Music beings to play, a slow piano orchestrial music plays)

*A female voice begins speaking*

Historians called it The Message, seemed a good a name as any
(As see speaks pictures of everyday life, field hands picking corn, domestic life, cars in a traffic jam, a megachurch with a fiery preacher)

Everyone says they heard something different but the gist was always the same
(More everyday life areas, people looking up)

Heaven's full, the Gates to Paradise are closed, Hell awaits you all, lie down and accept you fate.

(Repeat of the first scenes with people falling down, traffic-jam, the sounds of horns as people collapse face first onto the wheel. Packed mega-church the Pastor thuds slow mo into the ground as the guy running the sound takes his headphones off to star across the people slumping in their seats, the domestic life- the son shakes his mother screaming at her to say something)

They just died, they just fell down where they were, stopped eating, stopped drinking, they just lay there until they died.... They say one third of the world's population died that day or because of it.
(A crying baby, the parents lay sprawled next to the crib)

Three days later we heard HIM for the first time

(People in an Aid station, Government officials around table)
“I, Satan Mekratrig, Lord of Hell, Commander of the Legions of the Damned do hereby declare my dominion over the earth and all that it contains. Crawl to me, humans, knowing the eternity of torment that awaits you.”

The British were the first, maybe because the Prime Minster was already on TV the first time Satan told us we were dammed.

(View of the conference, the message ends, Brown turns to address)
"Sod off Baldrick, (Insert a Speech by Stuart)

When we refused Satan sent his Hearlds

(Views of the Plane fight, View of the T-90's firing)

We killed them

(Side shot of the Russian Politco standing atop one of the smoking body of a Herald)
"Beast. Before you should die, I believe you should know who it is you are waging war upon"

He sent his soldiers

(Views of battle, quick chaotic shots of Soldiers firing M-16's at Baldricks)

We killed them

So he sent his armies

(View of the Abigor Army)

We will kill them too,
(View of more battle)
And once were done with them
(View of Hellmouth)
We will just go to Hell

(Fade to black, burning date)

Guardsman Bass · Post by **Guardsman Bass** » 2008-08-24 09:35pm

"And the LORD was with Judah; and he drave out the inhabitants of the mountain; but could not drive out the inhabitants of the valley, because they had chariots of iron." -Judges 1:19

This would be awesome to put on the back, particularly since it would confuse the fundies. Zor's quote would be better, IMHO, on the front of the book, on the bottom.

Post by **Darth Wong** » 2008-08-24 11:01pm

I think it's worth pointing out that this is a book, not a movie. Book blurbs typically include a short teaser on the front and then a much longer description on the back. Movie trailers and posters, on the other hand, always have to go for the shortest catchy line.

JBG · Post by **JBG** » 2008-08-25 02:45am

Well stated Darth Wong.

Zor probably came up with the best short tag-line so far but there is much for Stuart here.

Post by **Mr Bean** » 2008-08-25 07:46am

Darth Wong wrote:I think it's worth pointing out that this is a book, not a movie. Book blurbs typically include a short teaser on the front and then a much longer description on the back. Movie trailers and posters, on the other hand, always have to go for the shortest catchy line.

I'm planning ahead my friend, one always need to consider the movie deal.

(To be exact I was responding to tim31 and FaxModem1 when they started mentioning a trailer)

For the book cover I have suggested the following, a view of hundreds of indistinct figures looking up as if listening to the message, the back cover would the the Hellmouth.

ray245 · Post by **ray245** » 2008-08-25 11:03pm

It might sent the wrong message though...people may think it is more about drama and test of faith as compared to thinking that humanity is really going to war with hell.

By the way, what is the thing that can seperate the difference between normal fantasy and chrisitanity fantasy?

I mean if you are using pictures of demons, people may not think that the demons really comes from hell...and people on first glance MAY think that it is just another normal fantasy story.

The cover needs to be epic I tell you, EPIC!

SCRawl · Post by **SCRawl** » 2008-08-26 07:25am

The ideal blurb is one that is just vague enough that people looking for different things will all think they've found what they're looking for -- at least until they take the book home and start reading it. After that, well, who cares?

Seriously, though: do people really buy books based on their covers? If I'm going to put out money for a book, I'm usually sure about what's inside, whether it's from having read a review, or from a personal recommendation, or from its being part of a series, etc. If I'm not sure, there's always the public library.

Stuart · Post by **Stuart** » 2008-08-26 08:50am

SCRawl wrote:Seriously, though: do people really buy books based on their covers? If I'm going to put out money for a book, I'm usually sure about what's inside, whether it's from having read a review, or from a personal recommendation, or from its being part of a series, etc. If I'm not sure, there's always the public library.

Lord yes. You may look inside before putting down cash but its the cover that catches the eye first. A good cover is absolutely critical. So is a good blurb for the back page. The blurb on Anvil of Necessity is lack-luster and that's demonstrably hurt sales.

ray245 · Post by **ray245** » 2008-08-26 12:10pm

SCRawl wrote:The ideal blurb is one that is just vague enough that people looking for different things will all think they've found what they're looking for -- at least until they take the book home and start reading it. After that, well, who cares?

Seriously, though: do people really buy books based on their covers? If I'm going to put out money for a book, I'm usually sure about what's inside, whether it's from having read a review, or from a personal recommendation, or from its being part of a series, etc. If I'm not sure, there's always the public library.

Hell, look at covers of book like the Davinci code...the cover has a teasing look to it.

The cover art with a picture of MONA LISA on a novel instantly catches your attention.

Reason, before the davinci code, how often do you get to see a book with a picture of mona lisa on it? The Mona lisa painting only plays a very small role in the book, but what it did do, is to catches the passerby's ATTENTION.

A cover has to AMPLIFY the message the novel carries in order to attract customers. The potential customers have to like the novel, in fact, I bought several books because the cover encourage you to READ the book.

Sure, on one hand there IS several best selling book that don't have a very beautiful or attractive cover, namely the harry potter series( although the later books have no need to have a good cover as fans will buy them even if it is not attractive) , the curious of the dog in the night-time.

It makes you want to read the book and find out more about the thing.

If this book is about a book of biblical ( no pun intended) poportion, you need to amplify the book message about a war between humanity and hell.

Take the best part of the book that will attract people to find out, and amplify it. Look at the paintings of war, most people are not attracted to the paintings because they are historically accurate, they are attracted to it because they look beautiful.

The same reason why it seems more fun to watch a big battle in the cinema screen than watching a low buget tv series about the same thing.

The main message I am getting from this thread seems to be this is going to be a epic demostration about the struggle ( maybe not so much ) between men and hell.

The theme about this is going to be something that is epic, hence we need a really epic cover.

What I AM afriad of is, IF we are going to attract fundies to the book at first glance, what is the possibility of alienating the non-fundies, if we focus the marketing effort towards fundies?