The Salvation War: Pantheocide. Part Forty One Up

[Pelranius]

It's possible she was just off on the number of years. Demons have very long life spans, and as far as she's concerned, fifteen hundred years and three thousand years might be a "close enough, whatever" situation.

On the other hand, Luga starting to think like a lawyer (or she wants to) and they tend to be very precise, unless she's wants to lie to the humans, which doesn't seem likely.

[CaptainChewbacca]

It is nice to know, however, that marriages and relationships are the same whether you're in heaven or on earth.

[Sean Mulligan]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

[Samuel]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

Because he is a power hungry meglomaniac?

I wonder who his wife is...

[Guardsman Bass]

We're starting to get some interesting views into the Cosmology of the whole situation - first, with the mostly unnamed "Devil" that the demons fear, and now with mention that the last of the other Gods were driven off by three thousand years ago. That would mean that in the case of the Old Kingdom Egyptians, their gods might still have been kicking around.

I wonder about that, though. We know that the gods Caesar and some of the Romans followed have continued to shield them, and we have the hint that somebody grabbed Elvis before Michael-Lan-Yahweh could get him. Are the other gods still meddling in Earth discreetly? Would that be a possible way of subversion? I almost wonder if Loki's around and knows the way into Heaven.

[Darth Wong]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

It's probably a better question to ask why any particular society is not misogynistic. Virtually all societies throughout history have been male-dominated, and the males have treated the women as property. It could even be argued to be the natural order, given the way many animals behave.

[Darth Wong]

It's possible she was just off on the number of years. Demons have very long life spans, and as far as she's concerned, fifteen hundred years and three thousand years might be a "close enough, whatever" situation.

On the other hand, Luga starting to think like a lawyer (or she wants to) and they tend to be very precise, unless she's wants to lie to the humans, which doesn't seem likely.

Since they agreed to grant protection to Julius Caesar who most definitely did not live three thousand years ago, I'm going to stick with the "her dates are probably imprecise" theory for now.

[tim31]

Lemuel took a bite of the meal and found it was good.

I thought we were building to a Happy Meal joke, but no dice.

[Darmalus]

The assassination attempt has got me wondering. It seems that such an obvious and destructive attempt on an angle working directly for Michael would be rather foolish, even if it succeeded it would bring down the League on the whole area. Guessing from what Urinal endured, it would take an enormously powerful sonic blast to kill Lemuel, even with the rubble landing on him. Someone powerful must be after him, and the only thought that occurs to me is Michael somehow figured out Lemuel wasn't going to switch sides, but this feels really crude for him. I can't think of any other players in heaven that would have the knowledge and power to do this, so maybe a new player has entered the game?

[Darth Wong]

The assassination attempt has got me wondering. It seems that such an obvious and destructive attempt on an angle working directly for Michael would be rather foolish, even if it succeeded it would bring down the League on the whole area. Guessing from what Urinal endured, it would take an enormously powerful sonic blast to kill Lemuel, even with the rubble landing on him. Someone powerful must be after him, and the only thought that occurs to me is Michael somehow figured out Lemuel wasn't going to switch sides, but this feels really crude for him. I can't think of any other players in heaven that would have the knowledge and power to do this, so maybe a new player has entered the game?

Keep in mind that Lemuel is nowhere near as powerful as Michael and Uriel. He could probably be killed with an attack that would only cause minor injury to either of them. In any case, I see no reason for Michael to assassinate him; he seemed to have a plan for turning him instead, and I don't see why he would think it wasn't working. However, there is a second conspiracy outside of Michael's knowledge; we already know about that. Perhaps this second conspiracy was responsible.

Alternatively, perhaps his wife was really pissed off

[Simon_Jester]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

I wonder who his wife is...

Me, I wonder if his wife is. If he hardly ever leaves the throne...

The assassination attempt has got me wondering. It seems that such an obvious and destructive attempt on an angle working directly for Michael would be rather foolish, even if it succeeded it would bring down the League on the whole area. Guessing from what Urinal endured, it would take an enormously powerful sonic blast to kill Lemuel, even with the rubble landing on him.

As Darth Wong says, Lemuel is considerably weaker than Uriel or Michael. Also, different types of injuries may affect angels differently. The 'supernaturals' in this setting are most vulnerable to something that causes massive simultaneous trauma at once... like having ten tons of rocks fall on you.

[Baughn]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

It's probably a better question to ask why any particular society is not misogynistic. Virtually all societies throughout history have been male-dominated, and the males have treated the women as property. It could even be argued to be the natural order, given the way many animals behave.

It could, quite easily.

Yet another reason why I don't like the "natural order", really. I see no particular reason to adhere to it.

[GrayAnderson]

After far too long between posts (blame it taking forever to catch up when one falls a few days behind), let me say...excellent bits. Particularly the bits with that judge...I did like the "Poor, innocent succubus" bit...gotta love a judge with a sense of irony.

For some reason, I was also amused at the additional verdict of "dinner".

As to the conspiracy, I cannot help but be amused at the thought of the corruption of these guys involving BBQ and fries.

Stuart, excellent writing all around, and I can't help but be amused at the irony laced throughout. A question: Is what's being done to pull Lemuel into the conspiracy a first-time trick? Or has this sort of corruption procedure something that Michael has used before to get a useful idiot target into his camp?

...and of course, a second question:

"I wonder who the Bad Cop was?" The stenographer got another angry glance from Baylor.

"Usually Satan. But we converted their followers and deprived them of power. By the time we'd finished they had so few followers it wasn't worth them staying. Only one of the groups really put up a fight and we had to strike a deal. If they went, their followers wouldn't be tormented in Hell."

I'm curious as to a good case where the roles were reversed. Just because.

[Baughn]

Heh. Sorry, but I'm pretty sure it was implied that the judge was not being ironic when he said "poor, innocent succubus".

Their pheromones are just that powerful. Gotta love 'em. Really. Gotta.

[Pelranius]

It's possible she was just off on the number of years. Demons have very long life spans, and as far as she's concerned, fifteen hundred years and three thousand years might be a "close enough, whatever" situation.

On the other hand, Luga starting to think like a lawyer (or she wants to) and they tend to be very precise, unless she's wants to lie to the humans, which doesn't seem likely.

Since they agreed to grant protection to Julius Caesar who most definitely did not live three thousand years ago, I'm going to stick with the "her dates are probably imprecise" theory for now.

It sounded like the protection extended to the followers of said departed gods long after they departed.

Though I must admit that we don't know how Yahweh would regard the sanctity of contracts with other deities. Given the prick that he's made himself out to be, he might try to shove away such agreements as soon as the other guys turn their backs, assuming that they can't get back at him.

[LadyTevar]

It is also rather telling that they've been slowly getting Lemuel hooked on opiates. That seems to be one of Michael's standard procedures

[Stuart]

Why is Yahweh so Misogynistic?

Have you ever read the Bible? It's an anthem to misogeny.

I'm curious as to a good case where the roles were reversed. Just because.

Well, if one does a body count on the Bible, the balance comes up God - circa two million, Satan - ten.

As to the conspiracy, I cannot help but be amused at the thought of the corruption of these guys involving BBQ and fries.

Never underestimate the potency of good food. It's about the most powerful corruptor there is.

A question: Is what's being done to pull Lemuel into the conspiracy a first-time trick? Or has this sort of corruption procedure something that Michael has used before to get a useful idiot target into his camp?

No, this is standard practice, its a well-oiled machine that's seen a lot of use.

[GrayAnderson]

Well, if one does a body count on the Bible, the balance comes up God - circa two million, Satan - ten.

Yes, but it was also strongly implied that the whole Sodom and Gomorrah incident was spun actually Satan's doing.

Never underestimate the potency of good food. It's about the most powerful corruptor there is.

No, this is standard practice, its a well-oiled machine that's seen a lot of use.

You know, I agree...I'm always looking for a good dinner. It partly explains why I'm willing to drive to DC so often despite it being 2.5-3 hours away. I wonder if Michael has ever attempted to get someone to sell their soul for a cookie?

[CaptainChewbacca]

As to the conspiracy, I cannot help but be amused at the thought of the corruption of these guys involving BBQ and fries.

Never underestimate the potency of good food. It's about the most powerful corruptor there is.

Hell, we turned german generals during WWII with brandy and chess after they were captured.

[Pelranius]

Well, if one does a body count on the Bible, the balance comes up God - circa two million, Satan - ten.

Yes, but it was also strongly implied that the whole Sodom and Gomorrah incident was spun actually Satan's doing.

Never underestimate the potency of good food. It's about the most powerful corruptor there is.

No, this is standard practice, its a well-oiled machine that's seen a lot of use.

You know, I agree...I'm always looking for a good dinner. It partly explains why I'm willing to drive to DC so often despite it being 2.5-3 hours away. I wonder if Michael has ever attempted to get someone to sell their soul for a cookie?

Michael could lace the cookies with a little something extra. That would be a bit more fair, and he seems to be the sporting chap.

[Darth Yan]

Michael was telling Rafael earlier that killing Lemuel was a bad move, since it would derail the investigation; maybe it's Rafael or maybe it is the second conspiracy. But It's not Mikey

[JBG]

Nice chapter Stuart though not enough weaponry ...

And I agree with Jan. This chapter starts to fill out how heaven works a bit more.

Like most I had no idea of any assassination attempt. Hah, that'll stir things up. But I've got used to unexpected twists etc in Stuart's writings elsewhere so it just sort of comes with the turf. I'd recommend the Conrad stories from TBOverse for more unexpected twists!

[Ilya Muromets]

Well, I have to chime in with those who said that the assassination attempt took them by surprise. It was hearty chuckles during the whole Onniel bit (looks like Heaven hath no fury like a woman scorned ), and even more funniness with the incongruity of Gatorade and fast food in a heavenly temple. And then--BAM!--suddenly someone tries to off Lemuel.

Looks like Michael is going to have yet another thing to worry about. There're lots of thing you didn't think could happen, eh Mikey?

And, as always, Luga seems to be becoming more and more savvy about human society. Wonder if a lot of people are starting to regret letting her have that much leeway...

[Jamesfirecat]

Most of the stuff I really want to talk about has already been hit but let me "motto" it anyway.

The attempt to kill Lemuriel was in my theory probably something brought about by that "first conspiracy" the on that Micheal isn't in charge of and is arranged in cells, though why they would do it is up in the air since that the moment Lem seems to be getting much more deeply involved in Micheal's bussiness then in trying to track down the people who worked with Ishmael.

I think what's being done to him pretty clearly is Standard Operating Procedure for how Micheal gets new memebers of his conspiracy draw in hook line and sinker and I bet its only a matter of time until he gets introduced to some of Micheal's "girls" who never complain about having a headache if you know what I mean.....

Luga trying to learn the law should have some very interesting results, though I get the feeling that having a Sucubus for a lawyer would demand that the courtroom be very well ventilated since it'd be far too easy to get the journey to lean her way just by hanging around them for so long...

[Junghalli]

I'm curious as to a good case where the roles were reversed. Just because.

The Yazidis maybe? Though their religion is not really a reversal.

The reason for the Yazidis reputation of being devil worshipers is connected to the other name of Melek Taus, Shaytan, the same name the Koran has for Satan.[9]

Furthermore, the Yazidi story regarding Tawûsê Melek's rise to favor with God is almost identical to the story of the jinn Iblis in Islam, except that Yazidis revere Tawûsê Melek for refusing to submit to Adam, while Muslims believe that Iblis' refusal to submit caused him to fall out of Grace with God, and to later become Satan himself.[10]

Tawûsê Melek is often identified by Muslims and Christians with Shaitan (Satan). Yazidis, however, believe Tawûsê Melek is not a source of evil or wickedness. They consider him to be the leader of the archangels, not a fallen angel. They also hold that the source of evil is in the heart and spirit of humans themselves, not in Tawûsê Melek. The active forces in their religion are Tawûsê Melek and Sheik Adî.