The Salvation War: Pantheocide. Part Eighty One Up

[nobody_really]

There are a few Project Managers I wouldn't mind sending on a suborbital hop, provided there's a flaming re-entry awaiting them....

Project Manager: Hey, what's the status on project 9743? It's in Red jeopardy, 15 days behind schedule.

Me: You mean the email assignment you sent 30 minutes ago during lunch when you thought I'd be away from my desk?

PM: That's the one.

Me: The project that's behind because the vendor shipped the server with the wrong power pigtail? And other delays, like the freeze on raised floor work demanded by Marketing for a new product release; disk space in the NAS that was supposed to be reserved for this project was allocated to another server; then you bounced the disk work to an SA who was on vacation?

PM: None of that matters; as of now it's in your court. We expect you to help get this project closer to on-schedule by magically completing your work in half the time allocated.

Me: You do realize the original time estimate was based on building 3 databases, and thanks to project creep there are now 7 databases to build?

PM: <click>

Ahhh... The Daily WTF material. Office Space was too optimistic about the competence level of management.

[darksoul]

Yeah, but at one point their resident A.I. builds a Mad Cat Battlemech out of lego mindstorms and uses its guns to send their marketing guy on a suborbital hop. So I think this isn't quite what Bcoogler was talking about.

There are a few Project Managers I wouldn't mind sending on a suborbital hop, provided there's a flaming re-entry awaiting them....

Project Manager: Hey, what's the status on project 9743? It's in Red jeopardy, 15 days behind schedule.

Me: You mean the email assignment you sent 30 minutes ago during lunch when you thought I'd be away from my desk?

PM: That's the one.

Me: The project that's behind because the vendor shipped the server with the wrong power pigtail? And other delays, like the freeze on raised floor work demanded by Marketing for a new product release; disk space in the NAS that was supposed to be reserved for this project was allocated to another server; then you bounced the disk work to an SA who was on vacation?

PM: None of that matters; as of now it's in your court. We expect you to help get this project closer to on-schedule by magically completing your work in half the time allocated.

Me: You do realize the original time estimate was based on building 3 databases, and thanks to project creep there are now 7 databases to build?

PM: <click>

Yep. That's the guy. The one that makes a meeting, with my team, ask for problems to be solved, stares at a freaking 2 x 1.5 meters whiteboard full of project killers, and them one week ago sends a mail telling us to out together a report of possible problems with the project if there is any. In one ear, out the other, indeed.

[MysteriousDarkLordv3]

I'm not a programmer - but I worked under this PM's cousin in the military. He's the reason my performance reviews kept saying "has problem with authority".

[kouchpotato]

I wonder how he thought he 'almost' felt Jesus trying to contact yahyah? Could he have survived the bombing somehow and is just pissed off at daddy?

[HSRTG]

Alternatively, he's one of the pulsing balls of cancer. If he was at the head of the army, IIRC the nuke went off in the middle of it, he might have "survived". If you can call that survival.

[Saint_007]

If he is a giant ball of cancer, he's going to be able to do all the drugs he wants from the comfort of a hospital bed. Except he's going to do so because anything else would leave him in perpetual agony.

Question; if we euthanize cancer-Elhmas, whose sins would he be dying for *this* time?

[Beowulf]

If he is a giant ball of cancer, he's going to be able to do all the drugs he wants from the comfort of a hospital bed. Except he's going to do so because anything else would leave him in perpetual agony.

Question; if we euthanize cancer-Elhmas, whose sins would he be dying for *this* time?

Obviously, the sins of the father are being visited upon the son.

[Nematocyst]

How symbolic: he died for our sins, then we killed him for his.

[MGlBlaze]

How symbolic: he died for our sins, then we killed him for his.

'Bonus' points for it being in a horrible, horrible way if he is in fact a cancerous lump that encases what used to be an angel like what many are speculating.
Alternatively if he was right in the heart of the blast, I can't think of many more spectacular exits than a nuke. Perhaps 'spectacular' is the wrong word to be used in the same sentence as 'nuke', though.
Did he really die for our sins, though? I remember reading somewhere that Elhmas just mind-controlled some guy named Jesus for his entire life. So it's more a case of "He made that poor guy die for our sins, now we kill him for his". I could have it wrong, though.

Although, I know this was said before somewhere, but I would also like to thank Stuart for his detailed description of what a nuke really does. Lots of people know it's pretty much the biggest thing that can be used, but few (myself included) know just how powerful one of them is.
Humans are capable of doing/creating truly horrific things sometimes.

[Night_stalker]

How symbolic: he died for our sins, then we killed him for his.

Will he be rising in 3 days? That is the real question.

[JN1]

He's risen already - as part of the ash cloud.

[old Infantryman]

He's risen already - as part of the ash cloud.

Payback for the poor bastard carpenter who woke up from possession (or however you imagine it feels to find yourself back in command of your body) to find himself nailed to a tree - "My God, Why have you forsaken me" gains a new and terrible signficance.

[MysteriousDarkLordv3]

Payback for the poor bastard carpenter who woke up from possession (or however you imagine it feels to find yourself back in command of your body) to find himself nailed to a tree - "My God, Why have you forsaken me" gains a new and terrible signficance.

Yeesh! It does, doesn't it?

And that begs another question - just where is Yeshua ben Miriam of Nazareth?

Consider that if he were allowed to run around in pre-lockout Heaven, huge numbers of newly-arrived humans would have considered the human Yeshua to be the Messiah. And they would be skilled in convincing others. Yeshua would have a power base - that most unspeakable of human atrocities. Would Elhmas have been perceptive enough to see that? Michael might have been.

Would Elhmas have allowed Yeshua to run around Heaven? Or sent him to one of the nastier parts of Hell? Or simply eliminated him to keep him from divulging secrets?

[GrayAnderson]

Payback for the poor bastard carpenter who woke up from possession (or however you imagine it feels to find yourself back in command of your body) to find himself nailed to a tree - "My God, Why have you forsaken me" gains a new and terrible signficance.

Yeesh! It does, doesn't it?

And that begs another question - just where is Yeshua ben Miriam of Nazareth?

Consider that if he were allowed to run around in pre-lockout Heaven, huge numbers of newly-arrived humans would have considered the human Yeshua to be the Messiah. And they would be skilled in convincing others. Yeshua would have a power base - that most unspeakable of human atrocities. Would Elhmas have been perceptive enough to see that? Michael might have been.

Would Elhmas have allowed Yeshua to run around Heaven? Or sent him to one of the nastier parts of Hell? Or simply eliminated him to keep him from divulging secrets?

This does bring a thought to mind: Was the human involved there, for the sake of the story, a voluntary host? Considering the talk of Gabriel talking to Mary when she was pregnant and all (I'll assume that he did; it's not unreasonable in the context), it's quite possible that he was raised to play this role and was therefore a voluntary and willing host.

[Night_stalker]

It could be, but considering the people who wrote it were likely loyal followers of Yaw-Yaw, they would want to portray him in a positive light...

[Emerson33260]

Payback for the poor bastard carpenter who woke up from possession (or however you imagine it feels to find yourself back in command of your body) to find himself nailed to a tree - "My God, Why have you forsaken me" gains a new and terrible signficance.

Come to think of it, the word "bastard" gains a new significance, too. Did Yahu send an angel to improve the genetics, or just pick a convenient 'child, father unknown?'

[Nematocyst]

My guess on Christ is that Jesus manifested himself as a normal dude, possessed Mary and had his way with her, then made her believe she was the carrier of the son of God.
Christ is born a Nephilim. Jesus had no trouble possessing him because of this.

So Jesus pulled a succubus.

[Ruadhan2300]

My guess on Christ is that Jesus manifested himself as a normal dude, possessed Mary and had his way with her

Damn you jesus you randy randy bastard
I for one vote that this is how it happened. hooray for democratic history XD

[Rippsy]

Interesting point - all those people decended from Christ/Mary (ala Dogma) would be the Heaven equivlient of humans that demons share ancenstry with?

[Alex4273]

Hi! Another one here that just had to register thanks to this series
It's just pure jaw-dropping awesome so far.

Also something I just had to mention: someone in a completely unrelated story I was reading elsewhere described a lake as "cobolt blue" like the one created in heaven and those words managed to send a shiver down my spine.

Seems the nuclear imagery managed to strike a major chord with me as well.

[old Infantryman]

Considering the talk of Gabriel talking to Mary when she was pregnant and all (I'll assume that he did; it's not unreasonable in the context), it's quite possible that he was raised to play this role and was therefore a voluntary and willing host.

Well. his mum might have been willing, but I'll bet neither mother nor son were shown the last few pages of the script....

[darksoul]

My guess on Christ is that Jesus manifested himself as a normal dude, possessed Mary and had his way with her

Damn you jesus you randy randy bastard
I for one vote that this is how it happened. hooray for democratic history XD

I second that.

[Simon_Jester]

Come to think of it, the word "bastard" gains a new significance, too. Did Yahu send an angel to improve the genetics, or just pick a convenient 'child, father unknown?'

Demonic possession only works on nephilim; it seems reasonable to assume that angelic possession is the same. The obvious scenario, to my way of thinking, is that Yeshua bin Miriam (the Jewish carpenter) was a fairly recent nephilim, with the demonic or angelic ancestor being relatively recent, making him unusually receptive- like kitten.

In Armageddon, we saw a lot of evidence for demonic possession of nephilim; the historical record of Christianity and Judaism suggests that in the Salvation War setting, the angels occasionally did the same thing. Ehlmas working through Yeshua is the best example; Joan of Arc and the ancient Israelite prophets being others.

[SilverHawk]

My guess on Christ is that Jesus manifested himself as a normal dude, possessed Mary and had his way with her

Damn you jesus you randy randy bastard
I for one vote that this is how it happened. hooray for democratic history XD

Jesus ain't nothing compared to Zeus!

[MysteriousDarkLordv3]

Jesus ain't nothing compared to Zeus!

How do you know they aren't the same guy? The identities of these ancient deities is still up in the air. All we have to go on is ancient myths. For all we know, while Yahweh and Satan were bugging the ancient civilizations of the Middle East, Elhmas went up to Greece on occasion for a bit of tail-chasing. All those accounts of demigods could be Elhmas-spawned nephilim. Heck, most of the Greek pantheon could be Elhmas possessing and manifesting in ancient Greece plus his spawn.

Of course, there's no info supporting this, but it's fun to speculate about.