Horrible crossover fan-fics

Pelranius · Post by **Pelranius** » 2006-11-29 07:14pm

It appears that Howard Philips Lovecraft and his Cthultu (sp) Mythos has nothing on unimaginable horror when compared to suboptimal fanfic.

Noble Ire · Post by **Noble Ire** » 2006-11-29 07:44pm

RedImperator wrote:
CaptainChewbacca wrote:As long as the author is intelligent, even the unlikely pairings can work. Someone on this very BBS did an excellent SG1/Zelda crossover.
SG1, though, is the exception, because there you get an automatic Magic Widget with which you can wave away all your problems regarding setting.

Even setting is hardly an insurmountable obstacle, as long as one doesn't dwell on how exactly the crossover comes to be in the first place (assuming its a traditional sort of crossover; "mutual existance" ones are often much harder to sell). For example, The Rift is based around an as-of-yet completely unexplained "wormhole" that just shows up somewhere, and people tell me its still pretty good.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2006-11-29 09:52pm

Singular Quartet wrote:"Children of an Elder God" Lovecraft/Evangelion merger. It's better than both sources universes.

Well, COAEG is written by two of the the best fanfiction authors on the 'net, what do you expect?

Post by **Dalton** » 2006-11-29 09:53pm

I don't suppose anyone has ever read anything by our esteemed PAUL JACQUES H.JR? How about Second Contact, a story so bad it made it onto the Godawful Star Trek Fanfiction site?

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2006-11-29 09:57pm

Dalton wrote:I don't suppose anyone has ever read anything by our esteemed PAUL JACQUES H.JR? How about Second Contact, a story so bad it made it onto the Godawful Star Trek Fanfiction site?

There's worse than Paul's fanfic and he at least had the excuse of the language barrier.

RedImperator · Post by **RedImperator** » 2006-11-29 09:59pm

Dalton wrote:I don't suppose anyone has ever read anything by our esteemed PAUL JACQUES H.JR? How about Second Contact, a story so bad it made it onto the Godawful Star Trek Fanfiction site?

I found "Second Contact" deeply amusing.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2006-11-30 01:09am

RedImperator wrote:SG1, though, is the exception, because there you get an automatic Magic Widget with which you can wave away all your problems regarding setting.

There's an SG1/Sopranos crossover on SpaceBattles.com right now, and is reputedly conceptually horrendous, with the Jersey mobsters storming the SG-1 facility and succeeding. Though it's not really badly written.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-11-30 12:06pm

phongn wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:"Children of an Elder God" Lovecraft/Evangelion merger. It's better than both sources universes.
Well, COAEG is written by two of the the best fanfiction authors on the 'net, what do you expect?

I expect them to fucking finish it, that's what.

Oh, and since Coalition asked, a link

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-11-30 12:09pm

Battlehymn Republic wrote:
RedImperator wrote:SG1, though, is the exception, because there you get an automatic Magic Widget with which you can wave away all your problems regarding setting.
There's an SG1/Sopranos crossover on SpaceBattles.com right now, and is reputedly conceptually horrendous, with the Jersey mobsters storming the SG-1 facility and succeeding. Though it's not really badly written.

There's some absolutely terrible fics on SBC, that have fine grammer and spelling, but the very concept makes you want to beat the stupid out of the author until their skull is a fine paste.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2006-11-30 01:19pm

Singular Quartet wrote:I expect them to fucking finish it, that's what.

You'll be waiting a long time. One of Biles' other collaborative fiction pieces has been in progress since 1996.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-11-30 02:33pm

phongn wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:I expect them to fucking finish it, that's what.
You'll be waiting a long time. One of Biles' other collaborative fiction pieces has been in progress since 1996.

Ah, fuck.

Battlehymn Republic · Post by **Battlehymn Republic** » 2006-12-02 04:28am

Singular Quartet wrote:There's some absolutely terrible fics on SBC, that have fine grammer and spelling, but the very concept makes you want to beat the stupid out of the author until their skull is a fine paste.

Which other ones? I'd like a good chuckle.

Murazor · Post by **Murazor** » 2006-12-02 06:26am

Singular Quartet wrote:Ah, fuck.

Seconded. He abandoned his WOT/Ranma crossover a century ago.

And it is one of the handful of decent WOT crossovers that can be found in the Internet.

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-12-02 09:55am

Battlehymn Republic wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:There's some absolutely terrible fics on SBC, that have fine grammer and spelling, but the very concept makes you want to beat the stupid out of the author until their skull is a fine paste.
Which other ones? I'd like a good chuckle.

As I recall there was a Buffy/40k (Xander dresses as God-Emperor of Man, Buffy and Willow dresses as Sisters of Battle for the 2nd halloween episode)

They then promptly drag in every secret agent and special ops team they can think of to fight the demonic hordes. It was retarded.

consequences · Post by **consequences** » 2006-12-02 10:25am

Singular Quartet wrote:
Battlehymn Republic wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:There's some absolutely terrible fics on SBC, that have fine grammer and spelling, but the very concept makes you want to beat the stupid out of the author until their skull is a fine paste.
Which other ones? I'd like a good chuckle.
As I recall there was a Buffy/40k (Xander dresses as God-Emperor of Man, Buffy and Willow dresses as Sisters of Battle for the 2nd halloween episode)

They then promptly drag in every secret agent and special ops team they can think of to fight the demonic hordes. It was retarded.

Emperor Xander, by chaos_eternus IIRC. At least he avoided the retarded premise that the forces of evil are going to sit there and quietly take it like a bitch when the forces of good get absurdly buffed overnight.

phongn · Post by **phongn** » 2006-12-02 10:28am

Murazor wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:Ah, fuck.
Seconded. He abandoned his WOT/Ranma crossover a century ago.

Didn't he actually update it a couple years ago?

Singular Quartet · Post by **Singular Quartet** » 2006-12-02 10:39am

consequences wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:
Battlehymn Republic wrote: Which other ones? I'd like a good chuckle.
As I recall there was a Buffy/40k (Xander dresses as God-Emperor of Man, Buffy and Willow dresses as Sisters of Battle for the 2nd halloween episode)

They then promptly drag in every secret agent and special ops team they can think of to fight the demonic hordes. It was retarded.
Emperor Xander, by chaos_eternus IIRC. At least he avoided the retarded premise that the forces of evil are going to sit there and quietly take it like a bitch when the forces of good get absurdly buffed overnight.

True, but everything else about it was terrible, as I recall, except the grammer and spelling.

Setesh · Post by **Setesh** » 2006-12-03 04:18am

Singular Quartet wrote:
consequences wrote:Emperor Xander, by chaos_eternus IIRC. At least he avoided the retarded premise that the forces of evil are going to sit there and quietly take it like a bitch when the forces of good get absurdly buffed overnight.
True, but everything else about it was terrible, as I recall, except the grammer and spelling.

It was pretty much written as a joke, much like the 'Xander as Sauron' or the bazillion other Halloween fics, Twisting the hellmouth even coined an acronym for it that has spread to ff.net YAHF (yet anouther halloween fic)

It was going to 'end' like so many others with Xander waking up and seeing the 'real' armor sitting there, he only seems to write it when his main (ie. serious) fic series 'Thundersdawn' starts getting to him.

That said I can think of the most fucked up shit I've read.

COR:Underverse
Riddick travels through time, breaks Buffy's wrist, makes Xander his 'special friend'

I don't remember the name but there was a Aliens Reserection X-over sequel on ff.net, The 'Betty' jumps through time and space to orbit DS9, Ripley/Call femslash, other characters dropped, the last chapter crossed with Stargate SG1 as well. Level of writing varied chapter to chapter. Much of it was badly forced...with a crowbar......being used by Omega Supreme.

Stolen
Catwomen rapes batgirl, in that raped but wanted it kind of way, 13 pages worth of it. (granted its my fault I keep finding things like this being a femslash shipper but still, ick)

Majin Gojira · Post by **Majin Gojira** » 2006-12-03 11:20am

I read nothing BUT Crossovers, and have learned to avoid the worst of them.

One Crossover 'type' that is unmittigatedly bad is the Buffy/HP Crossover. There are maybe 1 or 2 good ones on the whole of the interet and all of them fail to realize how badly the Buffyverse would RAPE HP (Satelight Death Rays FTW!), and assume that the Buffy would be subjugated to Wizarding Law! Yes, lets subjugate a symbol of female empowerment.

Xon · Post by **Xon** » 2006-12-03 04:51pm

consequences wrote:Emperor Xander, by chaos_eternus IIRC.

To be honest most of his fics, while having good grammer & spelling, have ludericiously stupid plot elements which just kill it for me.

phongn wrote:
Murazor wrote:
Singular Quartet wrote:Ah, fuck.
Seconded. He abandoned his WOT/Ranma crossover a century ago.
Didn't he actually update it a couple years ago?

Last year going by the update log on his website

His webpage has lists the WOT/Ranma crossover being updated last year.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2006-12-03 07:15pm

This BBS is proof that with fanfiction, there are no inherently bad story ideas. Only god-awful executions of difficult ideas.

I can't think of many other places where a ST/SW/Halo/SC crossover, a MGS/Harry Potter crossover, or my previously mentioned SG-1/Zelda crossover could be pulled off with a modicum of decency.

Storytelling is layered. The topmost layer is the mechanics of spelling and grammer. The layers in a good story are transparant, and you can see the bottommost layer of the story, the central theme or message. A bad story is one where the reader is caught in any of the intermediate layers, such as the plot or characters.

Like so:

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-12-03 07:19pm

To be an asshole, I'm going to note you misspelled "grammar"

.

Instant Sunrise · Post by **Instant Sunrise** » 2006-12-03 07:25pm

Pick wrote:To be an asshole, I'm going to note you misspelled "grammar" .

I have no idea what you are talking about.

Pick · Post by **Pick** » 2006-12-03 07:27pm

Oooh, that was cheap

.

Sidewinder · Post by **Sidewinder** » 2006-12-03 09:16pm

I've been reading 'Neon Genesis Evangelion' crossovers by a guy using the penname Steve Vader. He writes lemons-- pornographic fan fiction-- in which someone comes and teaches Shinji how to be a man, and then Shinji goes ahead and fucks every female character in the series, who are all bisexual and have no problem with the fact that their boyfriend is fucking their girlfriends.

Shinji's teachers include a Sith Lord (who I assume is a self-insert character), a soldier from the future who's trying to save him from the Terminators, and a female mercenary from Record of Lodoss War, who teaches him this detail about the culture of Lodoss Island:

"A normal life in Lodoss is about 40-45 years. The short lives are demanding a lot, so the start of a
family at a young age is necessary. Marriage at fourteen is the normal standard for a girl. But this
line isn't fix. Often girls have their wedding at younger ages, with 13, sometimes even 12. Only rich
girls, who could choose their husbands out of large pools of suitors can wait longer, until they are
16 or 17. So, when a girl at the age of 13 didn't want a man, and rejects all suitors, there are very
few possibilities left. Either she likes girls, or animals. While those things are very common, my
parents always wanted that I continue the bloodline by starting a family."

Shinji gaped in shock at her. He could understand that girl-girl sex was accepted, what hentai wouldn't?
And Asuka accused him often enough of that, so that he believed that she was right, at least to some
extent. But animals?

"Sex with animals is common?" he asked slowly.

Sheeris looked strangely at him. "Sure. We often have wars, so there is a large imbalance between men
and woman. A lot of women who lost their husbands have almost no chance of getting a new husband, even
if the knights are able to marry more than one girl. But they wanted virgins, not something already used
by others. The death of a husband doesn't mean that they have to live like nuns. Women need something
to satisfy their urges too, so if they have no man, they do it with animals. That's only natural. And
men who have enough troubles with their wives are often doing it too. They want fun without problems,
and that's an easy solution. Besides, as far as I know, all members of the cavalry are saying that the
best horses for a warrior are studs that are getting fucked regularly."

He looked open-mouthed at her. Of all the things he heard so far of this world, this was definitely the
strangest and most disgusting one. How anyone could do that was out of his range of thinking.

Sheeris saw his reaction and was disturbed. Sure, she didn't want to do that as well, but it was normal
and accepted. So why was he reacting as if she had told him that using dead things was normal?

"What are the women in your world are using for this problem?"

Shinji gulped hard, before he answered: "Dildos."

Sheeris blinked. "What's that?"

"A....piece of plastic, or rubber, or something similar, ......shaped liked a penis. And they stick......"

"THEY USE SOME DEAD THINGS TO GET OFF!!??" shouted Sheeris.

"Y...y...yes." came Shinji's meek answer.

"From what perverted world are you coming? Sex and recreation is always for the living. Never for dead
things. Love and lust are things that two living beings are doing for each other. Not some selfish acts
with some things they stick into their holes. That's absolutely disgusting. Even necrophilia would be
better, at least those freaks do it with things that have lived. That's.....that's......"

Reading Steve Vader's stories is like watching a teenager get butchered in a horror film-- you know you shouldn't enjoy it, but you do anyways.