Chapter Forty-eight: In Concert
The book sat in his hands with the familiarity of a slow growing tumour. It shouldn’t have been there, but it had always been there in a way, and if he excised it, he would rub at the spot wondering where it had gone. It was a question wrapped in an answer. It was the sort of history that none of his comrades could provide. It was the sort of insight only an outsider could provide. It was ghastly to read.
And it rang of the truth.
It was why they had gone to Canada and avoided the shockwave of a massive explosion several universes away that caused the whole world, but especially Japan, to light up with spectacular auroras. It was why he had accepted their help to avoid Haruhi’s imagination from sparking too radically as all of the reality warping she had already done interacted with the strange radiation from other worlds.
He had asked ‘
why?’ and Chaos had told him. They had told him how stories could resonate throughout the universe, how archetypes could bleed through. They had told him that they had discovered another hub universe, one that unlike with here, remained sealed off.
They had discovered the universe ruled by Azathoth; the Nuclear Chaos; the Demon Sultan. Yog-Sothoth had shut the gates to that reality to protect the multiverse from the insane slumbers of that deity. Nyarlathotep had been spawned from the dreams of the ruler of all creation in that place, a major-domo for the gods and a cruel corruptor and despoiler.
And Haruhi was the
same. She had come into being, probably been
constructed, untold aeons ago and then somehow been driven insane, sealed within her domain by forces beyond understanding, to dream away eternity. Only somewhere along the line she had woken up and erased existence and began to play with reality like clay. Technically until a few years ago she hadn’t even been a ‘she’ or a human. She had simply been. She had experimented with forms and realities, plucking stories out of the ether and trying out the roles out of sheer, mad boredom.
This time she had decided to erase her own knowledge of what she was so she could play the role of ‘Japanese schoolgirl’ more fully, but even then she could not contain her infinite curiosity and wanton, casual disregard for the puppets constructed for her amusement.
And if Haruhi was Azathoth then Kyon was her Nyarlathotep, the part of her mind that had separated out in frustration but still had to keep her entertained. How many billions of iterations had they gone through? How many uncountable intelligent beings had they wiped out with each press of the reset button?
The worst bit was that the gods had presented evidence, of the sort that Yuki and her allies had confirmed. It was all here in this book, a map of the cosmic detritus left behind by the alterations made to universe. It made Kyon want to scream out, to take refuge in madness, but he hung on and kept his mouth shut. Maybe he wouldn’t be able to contain Haruhi
forever, but perhaps a lifetime or two, maybe make her see the worth of the world. Make her stick with things instead of abandoning everything for the next passing interest.
It was the only hope if Kyon wanted to contain this insane deity. Even Chaos looked all happy, fluffy bunnies in comparison to the unimaginable destruction wrought so far. At least their death toll had a number. Kyon wasn’t even sure if there was a word for the number of lives and civilizations wiped from existence by Haruhi.
Although to be fair to her, Haruhi was really just the latest incarnation; not exactly blameless, but her personality was relatively unique and thus she might be horrified by her own past actions if she was aware of them. Unfortunately, from some of the wreckage uncovered in the space between realities the realization of that seemed to trigger a suicide event that erased the latest universe and incarnation but could not actually undo the deity behind it all.
It was the ultimate in Catch-22s. Tell Haruhi what she’s done and the whole universe goes bye-bye and nothing gets solved. Don’t tell her and risk her continuing what she’s always done and making the universe go bye-bye. Neither was a particularly pleasant option. Especially for the one being who was sure to get dragged along for the ride, no matter what.
Then again, his allies occasionally made weird demands of him, like making sure that Haruhi stayed away from a heavy metal concert on another continent. Apparently it was all for their safety, but Kyon still wasn’t sure why the request needed to be made considering that she was contained here in Japan.
Kyon then looked down at the book in his hands and the terrible truths within. No, with Haruhi, or more precisely the entity she represented, it always paid to go to that extra bit of caution.
Perhaps even some proactive steps might be necessary.
“This was really the only place we could find?” Charles asked while leaning up against a wall near the stadium where the concert would be.
Maria shrugged and said, “Too many of the main sequence universes are beyond Maiden and time travel is a pain in the ass to get right. We couldn’t guarantee we would hit a point with a tour going on unless we went into the Doldrums, which are still mostly unexplored even on the edges.”
“Did His Majesty Pen-Pen have to come along? This place is dangerous enough as it is,” Charles griped.
“Come on Chuck, its not like this place is one time-quake away from annihilation, we’ll have enough forewarning to pull out right if necessary,” Jose said reassuringly.
“Yeah, well, I just get the feeling that guarding the gods is going to be a right pain in the ass,” Charles said sullenly.
“You’re just pissed that you can’t puppet one of the band members,” Vita noted.
“I believe the gods said that would be ‘Extra heresy!’ to do that,” Maria said while smirking.
“It wouldn’t be ‘puppet’; it would be ‘observer’!” Charles said.
“This is a light hearted assignment, let’s just do it and have fun and… oh good gods, they’re here,” Jose said before planting his right hand over his face in embarrassment.
“MAIDEN! MAIDEN! MAIDEN!” The gods whooped in excitement while marching along with the crowds, wearing somewhat aged, adult versions of their human selves wearing the most stereotypically over the top heavy metal clothing possible.
Once she picked her jaw up off the ground, Vita griped, “I hope the bastards assigned to security detail around the Emperor Penguin are having a better time than us.”
At one of the private skyboxes at the stadium in one of premium positions for the rich and powerful who wanted to see the concert but didn’t want the sweaty, crowded, pot and tobacco filled air of the floor, a customer service rep found that her gift basket was stalled at the front doors of the room by some large looking men in suits, although they looked more like shaved gorillas than men.
“Our client thanks the establishment for the gift, but he does not want to be disturbed at the moment,” one of the rather freakishly tall guards said before passing the gift basket on through.
Catching a peek, the woman asked, “Hey, did I see a penguin in there? Because an-”
“You saw
nothing,” the other giant replied angrily while moving to block things off her view.
“But-” the woman began.
She found herself lifted off the ground by her shirt, the guard all but yelling, “
You saw nothing!”
Before she could wet herself in terror however the little microphone thing in his ear started to squawk…
literally. It sounded like whatever was on the other end kept saying something like “Wark!” Eventually the guard cooled down and dropped the poor girl.
“My client would like me to apologize to you and explain that while he enjoys his privacy, he felt that I was a touch overzealous with you, and he would like to offer you fair monetary compensation for any fright you might have suffered. How does twenty thousand dollars sound?” The guard replied, and it seemed the pay would be coming out of his salary if his expression was anything to go by.
“
MOSH FOR THE MOSH GOD! PYRO FOR THE PYRO THRONE!”
“MA’AM, IT’S REALLY HARD TO KEEP AN EYE ON YOU WHEN YOU CROWD SURF!” Maria cried out as she tried to follow Asuka across the ocean of jumping, head banging, moshing fans in front of the stage.
Just then the whole stadium went up with the final cheer of the song, “CAN I PLAY WITH MADNESS?”
As the band settled down and went into some inter-song banter, the assassins managed to round the gods back up into one place in the crowd.
“Okay, let’s check in here. Misato, how high are you exactly?” Maria asked.
“I can see SR-71s beneath me,” Misato said dreamily.
“Right…” Maria noted. “Asuka, you… is that a necklace of teeth?”
Asuka shrugged and said, “Mosh got crazy, what can I say? I donated a couple of my own, but they grew back.”
Maria held out a hand and said, “I’ll pass those along to medical. And Shinji, I don’t even
want to know why you have a shoe collection.”
“All will become clear in time,” Shinji replied with a grin.
“Rei… Rei, what happened?” Maria asked, dreading the answer.
“It is advisable you not be informed until after the mission so as to not turn your stomach and thus decrease your effectiveness,” Rei replied as softly as possible in the crowd as Bruce continued his story up on stage.
“Goddess of disease tells me not to ask, I’m not going to ask,” Maria said with a shake of her head.
Up on stage, Bruce then said, “…and shouldn’t kill that albatross, lest you end up like this fellow. It’s the
Rime of the Ancient Mariner!”
The whole crowd, including the gods, threw up their arms in glee and cheered as the most cultured and literary song on the set list started up. As the song progressed however, the whole thing took on a strange, charged, ethereal quality.
“What’s going on?” Maria asked as the gods took on a more concerned look to their faces.
Then their faces split into grins and Misato said, “I think the god of this reality just got laid! Go Kyon!”
“Why is
this happening?” Maria inquired.
“Probably our presence, don’t worry though, we can evacuate everyone quickly, but we might take the stadium along with us if we try,” Shinji said with a shrug before he went back to singing along to the song off key.
When the song went into its quiet, ghost ship portion, something very strange happened. Shinji felt a prick in his mind and he realized he was in psychic contact with someone.
Who’s there?
Sir?
Shinji quickly switched his state of mind over to Tzintchi and dredged up the psychic voice before he asked
Lars? From the Stiletto?
Is that you?
This is Lars, although I was separated from the Stiletto
a few months back after the attack on the Borg. Umm… could you get back to me in a day or two, sir? I’m kind of in the middle of something.
This is a freak occurrence man, I don’t know if I’ll be able to replicate it. You and the ship have been out of contact for nine years.
Bugger. Okay… err, just a second sir, I have to put a bullet between the eyes of a wizard. Okay. So, I got separated and hurled across the multiverse. To make a long story short, I land in the middle of a divine Cold War and am forced to flee into the inter-universe void to protect the daughter of the leader of dominant faction. We then land in an absolutely lovely medieval world and get caught up in the power struggles of a bunch of crazy elves. I also get pregnant. Long story.
Currently I am fleeing along with a band of refugees out of a subterranean world while being chased by an army because said daughter I rescued kind of usurped the power of one of the local gods and now a rival wants to take that power. Real complicated.
Oh. Wow. We’re just at an Iron Maiden concert right now while the deity of this place is getting some action, and it’s “The Rime of the Ancient Mariner” which I guess is producing a sympathetic effect given your background.
Nice, although right now I am more preferential to a slightly modified Red Hot Chilli Peppers song.
Which one?
Running away, running away, running away now. Running away, running away, running away now.
You’re surprisingly clever for a guy under attack.
My sarcasm has been honed to a razor sharp edge. What can I…
The connection was lost.
---
Oh, and fun fact, here is a picture of the author at the June 6, 2008 concert in Edmonton.
And the source video where I got the picture from
I love learning. Teach me. I will listen.
You know, if Christian dogma included a ten-foot tall Jesus walking around in battle armor and smashing retarded cultists with a gaint mace, I might just convert - Noble Ire on Jesus smashing Scientologists
1) Do people native to lower-energy planes need aid to acclimate to Warp-saturated realities like a scuba diver trying to avoid decompression sickness? I.E. do they need to be “vaccinated” against the negative side effects of another dimension's non-compatible physics?
Commander of the MFS Darwinian Selection Method (sexual)
