GNOME HUNTER!
Moderator: LadyTevar
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Agent Fisher
- Rabid Monkey
- Posts: 3671
- Joined: 2003-04-29 11:56pm
- Location: Sac-Town, CA, USA, Earth, Sol, Milky Way, Universe
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Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
Youre also meat 
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
DF wrote:(The State Fair Gestap Ambushes Innerbrat and Zaia, restraining them and hauling thme off to a nearby security building.)
Zaia: This is SO not my preferred use for handcuffs.
"On the infrequent occasions when I have been called upon in a formal place to play the bongo drums, the introducer never seems to find it necessary to mention that I also do theoretical physics." -Richard Feynman
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Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
see, now its reactions like that, that make this all worth while.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-
Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
Gnome Hunter V: The Final Frontier, NOT!
Gnome Hunter FIve Part One: war War WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ENTERTaiNMENT!
Black Mage Castle, just outside of New York CIty
Denryle: We're almost there.
Zaia: I guess this is where we part ways.
Denryle: Possible, though it remains to be seen how cooperative this operation will be.
Black Mage Kuja: We've Arrived at the designated position, the Black Choppers are ready for departure.
Denryle: All right, time to take off.
Black Mage Nitram: Firearms Minister?
Denryle: Normally I would think Firearms have been prohibited, but with Mess Operatives, HAB Operatives, and GALE operatives, I don't see how we can afford to go without. Anything you can carry.
Zaia: You girls Ready to go?
Innerbrat: You go girl?
Jmac: I didn't get any lines last time.
Duchess: I'll be there in a second....(thumbs through some photographs)...oh sweet Butter Cow, we will be reunited, as soon as I return your sweet delicious buttery falvor will rise incarnate once again!
*The black choppers take off from the launch deck. towards the Secret building of a mysterious wealthy Philanthropist. a tall but obscure structure in New York City.8
Kuja: Dman this place is big, you hear anything about who owns it?
Nitram: This is Writer's Guild territory.
Cyran: Arent those the ame guys that bought Lucasbooks and a stake in Paramount just so they could get that one book published?
Kuja: You mean Starcrossed?
Cyran: That's it. i hear the guy that wrote that got insanely rich and popular but went into obscurity after a torrid affair with Kate Mulgrew. Then he ended up buying this building.
Nitram: Yuck, thats pretty nasty.
Denryle: Keep it down, we're nearly to the conference center.
?????: *over intercom* Ahh the black Mages, welcome! The elevator to your left will take you where you need to go.
the Centre, a large conference center arranged ina circular fashion. Leaders of Various factions are seated at the front table hile suboridnates are in the various levels in the auidence sections.
RedImperator: Greetings to the various leaders, and a special thanks to STRAVO, for lending us his establishment for the evening. As leader of the Writers Guild I thank you.
Stravo: no thanks necessary, this is war after all.
RedImperator: Before we begin though, we have an announcement from BoTM Lord Simian Verilon. Who has graciously loaned his presence today with the help of sone SPF 5000
Verilon:(takes the podium) Thank you Master Imperator. Fellow Denizens, the Brotherhood of the Monkey has uncovered some interesting facts regarding the Mecha Maniacs.
Cyran: (whispers to Kuja) Who?
Kuja: (Whispers to Cyran) The Mech Maniacs, a not so powerful group that seeks enlightenment through Anime and Manga, I used to be one of them
Verilon: Bring forth the Prisoner.
*BoTM paramilitary Gorillas walk in carrying someone inby the arms, tosses the man in front of the assembled forums*
Verilon: We know him only as Fisher. He's been using his position within the Mech Maniacs to gain confidence among users and parlayed this adavantage into collaborating (dramatic pause) with the elite Gnome Special Forces, the Lawn Ornaments. My fellow denizens, Agent Fisher...Is a Traitor!
(hushed gasps among the entire crowd)
Sea Skimmer: The Heavy Armor Brigade respectfully requests, that the interrogation of this subject be handed over to us immediately. The Mecha loving fools ave not the capacity to deal with a cretin such as this.
Verilon: Great Leader, we have already designated a punishment and interrogation for this one, however we would be more than pleased if you would collaborate with us on this.
Sea skimmer: And who would the Brotherhood designate for a complex and necessary task such as this? Who would be more appropriate, than HAB General Sheppard?
Verilon: I don't suppose many, but you do know of the reputation of BoTM Lieutenant Hitman do you not?
Sea Skimmer: (ponders) Indeed...the Heavy Armor Brigade concurs. But perhaps Sheppard and Hit Man could so some collaborating of their own, to show this traitor the price of his misdeeds.
Verilon: (smiles, twin fangs bared) That would be most acceptable.
Agent Fisher: Hah! I'll Never talk!
*HitMan and SHeppard walk up to Fisher, who is being held by BoTM Gorillas. Hitman is wielding a polished, pair of curved scissors and a shoulder sassh with a various assortment of surgical instruments. Sheppard Meanwhile, Has a blowtorch. s the two stare bck at fisher they respond to hs defiance with smiles*
Hit Man: You'd better not talk, i've been looking forward to doing an interrogation for quite some time.
Sheppard: Bah! He's a gnome collaborator, We'd better sew his talkhole shut for the first few hours in case he decides to give up.
Fisher: oh no,,,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*Fisher is carreid off stage*
Verilon: With that pressing business out of the way we can now focus on our streategy for countering the current threats. I now turn this over to my counterpat from the Mess, and also our representative in the British Armed Forces, Rob Wilson.
Rob Wilson: Gentlemen...
Duchess: (Rude loud coughing noises)
Rob Wilson: And ladies of course, the situation is grim. During what is being dubbed as "The Battle of the Butter Cow" Black Mage and Society of Sister Forces defeated a powerful Gnomish force. However we have discovered that this attack was a fient. Several Ethanol production installations in Iowa report the theft of large quantities of Ethanol Corn based fuel. This fuel can be easily manipulated to mimic the experimental fuel previously stolen by Gnomes, giving them an ample suppy of fuel for vehicles such as heavy armor. Theexperimental weapons they have stolen feature fuel efficiency as a key design element, as well as destructive firepower.
It has become obviously clear that the gnomes are now prepared to begin more formal invasions on the surface world. While I have little doubt that the miltaries of nations such as America and Britain may be able to stand for a time against this threat. Other nations such as France will be completely helpless against this onslaught.
Sea Skimmer: This threat has only been allowed to propogate because you have repeatedly denied my request to use Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Rob Wilson: I know you've been iitching to use your stockpile of WMDs you stole from Iraq, but just how can you justify that sort of action while at the same time destroying millions of innocent lives!
Sea Skimmer: They're Iraqi WMDs! We simply Blame it on Iraq and/or terrorists!
Rob Wilson: Enough, its too late for this discussion now. The fact of the matter is that the gnomes are preparing to strike and now they have the means to be a serious threat not only to the planet, but to us as well. With recent global tensions, we can't round up the necessary forces to deal with this particular threat. However, I now turn the podium over to the leader of the Justice League. Whose scientists have made some important advancements in Metahuman development. Aya if you would please.
Aya: Thank you Rob Wilson, with financial support from the writers Guild, and obtainment of subjects trhough the Mess. We have geneteically engineered several super soldiers of our own to help counter the Gnomish Threat.
*lights dim, a viewscreen lowers, Aya holds a remote that controls the image on the screen.*
Aya:
Subject One, Rob Dalton, this subject shows the best potential. Using a special mutagenic compound disguised as donuts we have unlocked his inner ability to manifest rage. Soldier ROB SMASH will be a powerful force indeed and most effective in situations where our forces are outnumbered. He is currently kept under mild sedation with powdered sugar, but when angry he is most formidable
Subject Two, known only as Yosemite, he can now reform his cellular structure into that of a large carnivourous mammal, bearlike in appearance.
Subject Three, Einhander Snoman, not given super powers per say, but he did allow himself to become a cyborg. A built in prototype energy weapon known as a rail gun that is attatched to the bioelectrical battery which now regulates all bodily functions. As a condition of submitting himself to this, he requested a powerful robot penis as well with a fully pneumatic piston system. For what purposes I am unsure of at this point. but he is armed to the teeth.
Subject Four, Stormbringer, with powers over the weather. Also the least personable of these...
(Stormbringer zaps Aya with a lightning bolt)
Aya:...Heroes...errk. I now ...errk..
Robert Treder: This is pointless! All of this! This war will not be won by the machinations of secret socities or heavy weaponry!
Sea Skimmer: Bah! Your kung FU, no matter how powerful it is, cannot possibly best an entire army of gnomes, armed with weapons beyond that of most modern militaries.
Robert Treder: My Kung FU, no, but there is one, one who can end this conflict on their strength alone.
Stravo: You speak of the prophecy of the Chosen one.
Robert Treder: I do indeed, tell me Sea Skimmer, if your weapons are so powerful how is it that your forces have never been able to score a decisive victory over the gnomes.
Sea Skimmer: We have won many battles against their lot! but the damned fools retreat at every instance!
Robert Treder: Exactly, you leave too many alive with each encounter, those that survive are more powerful and increase the strength of each successive generation. Also, your forces are ill equipped to deal with forces beyond that of the natural world.
Sea Skimmer: We are more powerful than we were ten years ago Treder. we aremuch more pwerful than we were before THAT day.
Robert Treder: A day which we never want to repeat. The day the last Master of Style died in the Battle of Atlantis, driving the Gnomish forces into underground, with the resulting peace shattering the old order of the world. Should the gnomes revive their lost submerged continent we will not be safe.
Black Mage Cyran: (Whispers) What the fuck?
Black Mage Kuja: (Ten Years ago, the Gnome continent of Atlantis was nearly raised from the sea, which would have reborn the Gnomish civilization as a whole, and surely wiped out humanity in the inevitable cataclysm.)
Black Mage Nitram: (That was the last time the combined forces of the usergroups joined sides in battle. However, the battle was only won when the Last Master of Style initiated his ultimate attack, the same one Fanboy performed in New Mexico. that was a battle of MAgic, Modern WEaponry, and sheer brutality. A battle of which this world could not survive again.)
Black Mage Cyran: (Holy Shit, how'd you know about all this?)
BLack Mage Kuja: (Its int he pamphlet they were handing out, the one labeled "Backstory")
Robert Treder: I have been honing my skills for years in multiple usergroups and deeply regret missing out on that particular form. I hear from Minister of Sin Denryle though that another Master was found on the West Coast?
Minister of Sin Denryle: Yes, but he was killed using the same attack against an entire gnomish army in New Mexico. A "Lunar Breakdown." There is no way he could have survived at the epicenter of that explosion.
Robert Treder: If I am right, though, and he is the legend of Prophecy, then he must still be alive.
Frank Hipper: How so? I've seen the data from that explosion, not even the most powerful sorcerors and scientists we've consulted can fathom a way he could have survived!
Robert Treder: The secrets to his power, lie in ego.
Sea Skimmer: Yess, the manifestation of Ego, he was a complete asshole, get to the point.
Robert Treder: So simpleminded, the Ego and Confidence are not the only parts to this technique. Beyond the Ego is the Superego, which normally restrains the Ego. becoming a master of Style means breaking the Superego and tapping that mental energy. Combining that with physical strength a Master of Style is truly all powerful.
Sea Skimmer: Which is why there aren;t many left.
Robert Treder: There were never many to begin with, and the majority of them died so that we could all be here today. Their Self Centeredness became Selflessness, because that was their ultimate desire, and thats what they were determined to achieve to the point where it became greed.
REdImperator: You still haven't answered of how he could have survived.
Robert Treder: The one of prophecy, the True Last Master of Style, is able to further delve beyond the Superego. into the Id. the Id as you may know is the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs. the legendary Master supposed can tap into those primal desires for himself, and create an abosulte perfect center of the universe, which incidentally, causes the universe as he knows it to revolve around him. That sort of power allows him to literally warp reality around him, to achieve any goal, win any battle, defeat any opponent. True the vastness of Ego and Shattering of the Superego give him the same great strength as any other Master, but this total control over the Id is beyond anything that has occurred...ever. If he is truly the Legend, then not only should he have survived, but that he is only beginning to tap the essence of his power.
*The black Mages are sitting in their seats, compeltely stunned.*
Kuja:(quietly speaks) If that's only the beginning of his power...
Nitram:(quietly speaks) And he can manifest the energy of a freaking nuclear bomb...
Cyran:(yells obnoxiously) HOLY SHIT!
*everyone begins staring at Cyran*
Minister Denryle: There was no trace of his existence though after the battle, The Black Mages went back to check. (looks up at mages)
Kuja: Did you go back to look?
Nitram: I didn't go back!
Cyran: I thought you were going to go back!
Kuja: Oh...hell, I think we're in trouble.
Sea Skimmer: Hah! Leave it to black mages running around in stolen UN helicopters to botch this one! At any rate this assortment of powerful soldiers is more than enough for this particular opponent. The gnomes stand no chance against our assembled might!
Frank Hipper: I concur, No legendary master is going to come out of the blue and save us, nd by the looks of it this warrior, no matter how powerful, was no legend. We're going to have to do this on our own accord.
Verilon: the Brotherhood agrees.
A large explosion rocks the building, everyone in the room draws firearms.
Red Imperator: What in the hell?
Vympel: (Over communicator) this is spetznatz to Dark Templar, do you read me great leader?
Sea Skimmer: I read you Vympel, report.
Vympel. Perimeter scouts have detected a large army heading towards the city.
Sea Skimmer: Let me guess....
Vympel: they're gnomes.
*The assembled leaders at the front give each other knowing looks.*
Verilon: This is it! prepare for war! All Infantry designated combatants get out ont he front lines now and shoot everything under four feet tall that has facial hair, Party Boy Assassins and Black Mages report to the forward command center outside the main gate! Heavy Armor Brigade soldiers get to your armors and get ready to ride. TIME FOR WAR!
The Gnomish Front Lines
JodoForce: (into a walkie talkie) my Lord, our forces are prepared to attack the Writers Guild Headquarters. Within minutes the shit will officially hit the fan.
Darth Garden Gnome: Excellent. You have done good work Jodoforce, though I will not be able to get you anymore intel on their forces, the human collaborator was discovered.
JodoForce: A true shame, I was hoping to kill him myself.
Darth Garden Gnome: True true, he would have been DELICIOUS! BwahahaHAHAHAH!!!!
JodoForce: General MiTH I take it then is remaining behind?
Darth Garden Gnome: BOth he and Rye have been detained back here, I had to devour them so that they may be regurgitated and reborn into something more powerful.
JodoForce: and Rogue Ice?
Darth Garden Gnome: I prefer to keep my direct suboridnates as weak as possible, so that I may take delight in their suffering BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
JodoForce: Excellent my lord. I will return when we have victory!
--
Meanwhile....
Fanboy: Stewardess! how much longer till we get to new York?
Stewardess: It should take about another hour or so, need some more peanuts?
Fanboy: Well yeah, I was also wondering about getting into the mile high club?
Stewardess: If you;d just follow me back to the lavatory I can show you how glad I am to be wearing a skirt right now.
Fanboy: Most excellent.
To be Continued, The Shit Will hit the fan
Gnome Hunter FIve Part One: war War WHAT IS IT GOOD FOR? ENTERTaiNMENT!
Black Mage Castle, just outside of New York CIty
Denryle: We're almost there.
Zaia: I guess this is where we part ways.
Denryle: Possible, though it remains to be seen how cooperative this operation will be.
Black Mage Kuja: We've Arrived at the designated position, the Black Choppers are ready for departure.
Denryle: All right, time to take off.
Black Mage Nitram: Firearms Minister?
Denryle: Normally I would think Firearms have been prohibited, but with Mess Operatives, HAB Operatives, and GALE operatives, I don't see how we can afford to go without. Anything you can carry.
Zaia: You girls Ready to go?
Innerbrat: You go girl?
Jmac: I didn't get any lines last time.
Duchess: I'll be there in a second....(thumbs through some photographs)...oh sweet Butter Cow, we will be reunited, as soon as I return your sweet delicious buttery falvor will rise incarnate once again!
*The black choppers take off from the launch deck. towards the Secret building of a mysterious wealthy Philanthropist. a tall but obscure structure in New York City.8
Kuja: Dman this place is big, you hear anything about who owns it?
Nitram: This is Writer's Guild territory.
Cyran: Arent those the ame guys that bought Lucasbooks and a stake in Paramount just so they could get that one book published?
Kuja: You mean Starcrossed?
Cyran: That's it. i hear the guy that wrote that got insanely rich and popular but went into obscurity after a torrid affair with Kate Mulgrew. Then he ended up buying this building.
Nitram: Yuck, thats pretty nasty.
Denryle: Keep it down, we're nearly to the conference center.
?????: *over intercom* Ahh the black Mages, welcome! The elevator to your left will take you where you need to go.
the Centre, a large conference center arranged ina circular fashion. Leaders of Various factions are seated at the front table hile suboridnates are in the various levels in the auidence sections.
RedImperator: Greetings to the various leaders, and a special thanks to STRAVO, for lending us his establishment for the evening. As leader of the Writers Guild I thank you.
Stravo: no thanks necessary, this is war after all.
RedImperator: Before we begin though, we have an announcement from BoTM Lord Simian Verilon. Who has graciously loaned his presence today with the help of sone SPF 5000
Verilon:(takes the podium) Thank you Master Imperator. Fellow Denizens, the Brotherhood of the Monkey has uncovered some interesting facts regarding the Mecha Maniacs.
Cyran: (whispers to Kuja) Who?
Kuja: (Whispers to Cyran) The Mech Maniacs, a not so powerful group that seeks enlightenment through Anime and Manga, I used to be one of them
Verilon: Bring forth the Prisoner.
*BoTM paramilitary Gorillas walk in carrying someone inby the arms, tosses the man in front of the assembled forums*
Verilon: We know him only as Fisher. He's been using his position within the Mech Maniacs to gain confidence among users and parlayed this adavantage into collaborating (dramatic pause) with the elite Gnome Special Forces, the Lawn Ornaments. My fellow denizens, Agent Fisher...Is a Traitor!
(hushed gasps among the entire crowd)
Sea Skimmer: The Heavy Armor Brigade respectfully requests, that the interrogation of this subject be handed over to us immediately. The Mecha loving fools ave not the capacity to deal with a cretin such as this.
Verilon: Great Leader, we have already designated a punishment and interrogation for this one, however we would be more than pleased if you would collaborate with us on this.
Sea skimmer: And who would the Brotherhood designate for a complex and necessary task such as this? Who would be more appropriate, than HAB General Sheppard?
Verilon: I don't suppose many, but you do know of the reputation of BoTM Lieutenant Hitman do you not?
Sea Skimmer: (ponders) Indeed...the Heavy Armor Brigade concurs. But perhaps Sheppard and Hit Man could so some collaborating of their own, to show this traitor the price of his misdeeds.
Verilon: (smiles, twin fangs bared) That would be most acceptable.
Agent Fisher: Hah! I'll Never talk!
*HitMan and SHeppard walk up to Fisher, who is being held by BoTM Gorillas. Hitman is wielding a polished, pair of curved scissors and a shoulder sassh with a various assortment of surgical instruments. Sheppard Meanwhile, Has a blowtorch. s the two stare bck at fisher they respond to hs defiance with smiles*
Hit Man: You'd better not talk, i've been looking forward to doing an interrogation for quite some time.
Sheppard: Bah! He's a gnome collaborator, We'd better sew his talkhole shut for the first few hours in case he decides to give up.
Fisher: oh no,,,NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!
*Fisher is carreid off stage*
Verilon: With that pressing business out of the way we can now focus on our streategy for countering the current threats. I now turn this over to my counterpat from the Mess, and also our representative in the British Armed Forces, Rob Wilson.
Rob Wilson: Gentlemen...
Duchess: (Rude loud coughing noises)
Rob Wilson: And ladies of course, the situation is grim. During what is being dubbed as "The Battle of the Butter Cow" Black Mage and Society of Sister Forces defeated a powerful Gnomish force. However we have discovered that this attack was a fient. Several Ethanol production installations in Iowa report the theft of large quantities of Ethanol Corn based fuel. This fuel can be easily manipulated to mimic the experimental fuel previously stolen by Gnomes, giving them an ample suppy of fuel for vehicles such as heavy armor. Theexperimental weapons they have stolen feature fuel efficiency as a key design element, as well as destructive firepower.
It has become obviously clear that the gnomes are now prepared to begin more formal invasions on the surface world. While I have little doubt that the miltaries of nations such as America and Britain may be able to stand for a time against this threat. Other nations such as France will be completely helpless against this onslaught.
Sea Skimmer: This threat has only been allowed to propogate because you have repeatedly denied my request to use Weapons of Mass Destruction!
Rob Wilson: I know you've been iitching to use your stockpile of WMDs you stole from Iraq, but just how can you justify that sort of action while at the same time destroying millions of innocent lives!
Sea Skimmer: They're Iraqi WMDs! We simply Blame it on Iraq and/or terrorists!
Rob Wilson: Enough, its too late for this discussion now. The fact of the matter is that the gnomes are preparing to strike and now they have the means to be a serious threat not only to the planet, but to us as well. With recent global tensions, we can't round up the necessary forces to deal with this particular threat. However, I now turn the podium over to the leader of the Justice League. Whose scientists have made some important advancements in Metahuman development. Aya if you would please.
Aya: Thank you Rob Wilson, with financial support from the writers Guild, and obtainment of subjects trhough the Mess. We have geneteically engineered several super soldiers of our own to help counter the Gnomish Threat.
*lights dim, a viewscreen lowers, Aya holds a remote that controls the image on the screen.*
Aya:
Subject One, Rob Dalton, this subject shows the best potential. Using a special mutagenic compound disguised as donuts we have unlocked his inner ability to manifest rage. Soldier ROB SMASH will be a powerful force indeed and most effective in situations where our forces are outnumbered. He is currently kept under mild sedation with powdered sugar, but when angry he is most formidable
Subject Two, known only as Yosemite, he can now reform his cellular structure into that of a large carnivourous mammal, bearlike in appearance.
Subject Three, Einhander Snoman, not given super powers per say, but he did allow himself to become a cyborg. A built in prototype energy weapon known as a rail gun that is attatched to the bioelectrical battery which now regulates all bodily functions. As a condition of submitting himself to this, he requested a powerful robot penis as well with a fully pneumatic piston system. For what purposes I am unsure of at this point. but he is armed to the teeth.
Subject Four, Stormbringer, with powers over the weather. Also the least personable of these...
(Stormbringer zaps Aya with a lightning bolt)
Aya:...Heroes...errk. I now ...errk..
Robert Treder: This is pointless! All of this! This war will not be won by the machinations of secret socities or heavy weaponry!
Sea Skimmer: Bah! Your kung FU, no matter how powerful it is, cannot possibly best an entire army of gnomes, armed with weapons beyond that of most modern militaries.
Robert Treder: My Kung FU, no, but there is one, one who can end this conflict on their strength alone.
Stravo: You speak of the prophecy of the Chosen one.
Robert Treder: I do indeed, tell me Sea Skimmer, if your weapons are so powerful how is it that your forces have never been able to score a decisive victory over the gnomes.
Sea Skimmer: We have won many battles against their lot! but the damned fools retreat at every instance!
Robert Treder: Exactly, you leave too many alive with each encounter, those that survive are more powerful and increase the strength of each successive generation. Also, your forces are ill equipped to deal with forces beyond that of the natural world.
Sea Skimmer: We are more powerful than we were ten years ago Treder. we aremuch more pwerful than we were before THAT day.
Robert Treder: A day which we never want to repeat. The day the last Master of Style died in the Battle of Atlantis, driving the Gnomish forces into underground, with the resulting peace shattering the old order of the world. Should the gnomes revive their lost submerged continent we will not be safe.
Black Mage Cyran: (Whispers) What the fuck?
Black Mage Kuja: (Ten Years ago, the Gnome continent of Atlantis was nearly raised from the sea, which would have reborn the Gnomish civilization as a whole, and surely wiped out humanity in the inevitable cataclysm.)
Black Mage Nitram: (That was the last time the combined forces of the usergroups joined sides in battle. However, the battle was only won when the Last Master of Style initiated his ultimate attack, the same one Fanboy performed in New Mexico. that was a battle of MAgic, Modern WEaponry, and sheer brutality. A battle of which this world could not survive again.)
Black Mage Cyran: (Holy Shit, how'd you know about all this?)
BLack Mage Kuja: (Its int he pamphlet they were handing out, the one labeled "Backstory")
Robert Treder: I have been honing my skills for years in multiple usergroups and deeply regret missing out on that particular form. I hear from Minister of Sin Denryle though that another Master was found on the West Coast?
Minister of Sin Denryle: Yes, but he was killed using the same attack against an entire gnomish army in New Mexico. A "Lunar Breakdown." There is no way he could have survived at the epicenter of that explosion.
Robert Treder: If I am right, though, and he is the legend of Prophecy, then he must still be alive.
Frank Hipper: How so? I've seen the data from that explosion, not even the most powerful sorcerors and scientists we've consulted can fathom a way he could have survived!
Robert Treder: The secrets to his power, lie in ego.
Sea Skimmer: Yess, the manifestation of Ego, he was a complete asshole, get to the point.
Robert Treder: So simpleminded, the Ego and Confidence are not the only parts to this technique. Beyond the Ego is the Superego, which normally restrains the Ego. becoming a master of Style means breaking the Superego and tapping that mental energy. Combining that with physical strength a Master of Style is truly all powerful.
Sea Skimmer: Which is why there aren;t many left.
Robert Treder: There were never many to begin with, and the majority of them died so that we could all be here today. Their Self Centeredness became Selflessness, because that was their ultimate desire, and thats what they were determined to achieve to the point where it became greed.
REdImperator: You still haven't answered of how he could have survived.
Robert Treder: The one of prophecy, the True Last Master of Style, is able to further delve beyond the Superego. into the Id. the Id as you may know is the division of the psyche that is totally unconscious and serves as the source of instinctual impulses and demands for immediate satisfaction of primitive needs. the legendary Master supposed can tap into those primal desires for himself, and create an abosulte perfect center of the universe, which incidentally, causes the universe as he knows it to revolve around him. That sort of power allows him to literally warp reality around him, to achieve any goal, win any battle, defeat any opponent. True the vastness of Ego and Shattering of the Superego give him the same great strength as any other Master, but this total control over the Id is beyond anything that has occurred...ever. If he is truly the Legend, then not only should he have survived, but that he is only beginning to tap the essence of his power.
*The black Mages are sitting in their seats, compeltely stunned.*
Kuja:(quietly speaks) If that's only the beginning of his power...
Nitram:(quietly speaks) And he can manifest the energy of a freaking nuclear bomb...
Cyran:(yells obnoxiously) HOLY SHIT!
*everyone begins staring at Cyran*
Minister Denryle: There was no trace of his existence though after the battle, The Black Mages went back to check. (looks up at mages)
Kuja: Did you go back to look?
Nitram: I didn't go back!
Cyran: I thought you were going to go back!
Kuja: Oh...hell, I think we're in trouble.
Sea Skimmer: Hah! Leave it to black mages running around in stolen UN helicopters to botch this one! At any rate this assortment of powerful soldiers is more than enough for this particular opponent. The gnomes stand no chance against our assembled might!
Frank Hipper: I concur, No legendary master is going to come out of the blue and save us, nd by the looks of it this warrior, no matter how powerful, was no legend. We're going to have to do this on our own accord.
Verilon: the Brotherhood agrees.
A large explosion rocks the building, everyone in the room draws firearms.
Red Imperator: What in the hell?
Vympel: (Over communicator) this is spetznatz to Dark Templar, do you read me great leader?
Sea Skimmer: I read you Vympel, report.
Vympel. Perimeter scouts have detected a large army heading towards the city.
Sea Skimmer: Let me guess....
Vympel: they're gnomes.
*The assembled leaders at the front give each other knowing looks.*
Verilon: This is it! prepare for war! All Infantry designated combatants get out ont he front lines now and shoot everything under four feet tall that has facial hair, Party Boy Assassins and Black Mages report to the forward command center outside the main gate! Heavy Armor Brigade soldiers get to your armors and get ready to ride. TIME FOR WAR!
The Gnomish Front Lines
JodoForce: (into a walkie talkie) my Lord, our forces are prepared to attack the Writers Guild Headquarters. Within minutes the shit will officially hit the fan.
Darth Garden Gnome: Excellent. You have done good work Jodoforce, though I will not be able to get you anymore intel on their forces, the human collaborator was discovered.
JodoForce: A true shame, I was hoping to kill him myself.
Darth Garden Gnome: True true, he would have been DELICIOUS! BwahahaHAHAHAH!!!!
JodoForce: General MiTH I take it then is remaining behind?
Darth Garden Gnome: BOth he and Rye have been detained back here, I had to devour them so that they may be regurgitated and reborn into something more powerful.
JodoForce: and Rogue Ice?
Darth Garden Gnome: I prefer to keep my direct suboridnates as weak as possible, so that I may take delight in their suffering BWAHAHAHAHAH!!!!
JodoForce: Excellent my lord. I will return when we have victory!
--
Meanwhile....
Fanboy: Stewardess! how much longer till we get to new York?
Stewardess: It should take about another hour or so, need some more peanuts?
Fanboy: Well yeah, I was also wondering about getting into the mile high club?
Stewardess: If you;d just follow me back to the lavatory I can show you how glad I am to be wearing a skirt right now.
Fanboy: Most excellent.
To be Continued, The Shit Will hit the fan
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-
haas mark
- Official SD.Net Insomniac
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ROFL!!! Oh, god that was teh phunny!!!
:twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:
~ver
Verilon: (smiles, twin fangs bared) That would be most acceptable.
:twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted::twisted:~ver
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
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Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
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Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
-
Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
I feel like a tease not getting to the action right away, but since im riding a caffeiene high and am reading all of this great stuff about the Superego I had to get in Nitrams prophecy Idea.
That and the fact that this is the first of my works people seem to like, and its as delicious to my ego as hamburgers are to my stomach ja?
That and the fact that this is the first of my works people seem to like, and its as delicious to my ego as hamburgers are to my stomach ja?
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-
Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
Sadly, in this fic, as in real life...Death is a permanent condition.Ace Pace wrote:god, that was funny, no more me being blown up? im still a gnome
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-
Einhander Sn0m4n
- Insane Railgunner
- Posts: 18630
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- Location: Louisiana... or Dagobah. You know, where Yoda lives.
-
Col. Crackpot
- That Obnoxious Guy
- Posts: 10228
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- Location: Rhode Island
- Contact:
HA!Cyran: That's it. i hear the guy that wrote that got insanely rich and popular but went into obscurity after a torrid affair with Kate Mulgrew. Then he ended up buying this building.
You beautiful twisted bastard!"This business will get out of control. It will get out of control and we’ll be lucky to live through it.” -Tom Clancy
-
Companion Cube
- Biozeminade!
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- Location: what did you doooooo щ(ﾟДﾟщ)
Lol!
Ah, well.
And the rest was good too.Stewardess: If you;d just follow me back to the lavatory I can show you how glad I am to be wearing a skirt right now.
Fanboy: Most excellent.
Which means i'm gone for good...Darth Fanboy wrote:
Sadly, in this fic, as in real life...Death is a permanent condition.
Ah, well. And when I'm sad, you're a clown
And if I get scared, you're always a clown
And if I get scared, you're always a clown
-
Captain Cyran
- Psycho Mini-lop
- Posts: 7037
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- Location: College... w00t?
*For the second time during this fic Cyran puts on his funny face*Cyran: That's it. i hear the guy that wrote that got insanely rich and popular but went into obscurity after a torrid affair with Kate Mulgrew. Then he ended up buying this building.
Stravo old buddy old pal. You know I had nothing to do with this...right? You know that I know that would never happen, good buddy? I think it's appauling that he would say something like that...hehe...heh...oh shit.
Justice League, Super-Villain Carnage "Carnage Rules!" Cult of the Kitten Mew... The Black Mage with The Knife SD.Net Chronicler of the Past Bun Bun is my hero. The Official Verilonitis Vaccinator
-
Agent Fisher
- Rabid Monkey
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- Location: Sac-Town, CA, USA, Earth, Sol, Milky Way, Universe
WHAT?! Why would the gnomes eat a member of SEGNOR?! And there better be a interrigation scene where it takes a long time for me to break!The Gnomish Front Lines
JodoForce: (into a walkie talkie) my Lord, our forces are prepared to attack the Writers Guild Headquarters. Within minutes the shit will officially hit the fan.
Darth Garden Gnome: Excellent. You have done good work Jodoforce, though I will not be able to get you anymore intel on their forces, the human collaborator was discovered.
JodoForce: A true shame, I was hoping to kill him myself.
Darth Garden Gnome: True true, he would have been DELICIOUS! BwahahaHAHAHAH!!!!
-
haas mark
- Official SD.Net Insomniac
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LT.Hit-Man + Interrogation = QUICK Breakdown. NECESSARILY.Agent Fisher wrote:WHAT?! Why would the gnomes eat a member of SEGNOR?! And there better be a interrigation scene where it takes a long time for me to break!The Gnomish Front Lines
JodoForce: (into a walkie talkie) my Lord, our forces are prepared to attack the Writers Guild Headquarters. Within minutes the shit will officially hit the fan.
Darth Garden Gnome: Excellent. You have done good work Jodoforce, though I will not be able to get you anymore intel on their forces, the human collaborator was discovered.
JodoForce: A true shame, I was hoping to kill him myself.
Darth Garden Gnome: True true, he would have been DELICIOUS! BwahahaHAHAHAH!!!!
~ver
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
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Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
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Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
LMMFGDAOPAO!*
That's some funny shit, fanboy, i'd almost completely forgotten about this, but i come back and i'm IN it! W00t!
OH man, this is so sweet! I'd best die in some cool way though.
*laugh-my-mother-funkin'-godless-damned-anthropomorphised-orange-pantheist-ass-off
Just one question...WTF is a butter cow? Goes straight over my head.
That's some funny shit, fanboy, i'd almost completely forgotten about this, but i come back and i'm IN it! W00t!
OH man, this is so sweet! I'd best die in some cool way though.
*laugh-my-mother-funkin'-godless-damned-anthropomorphised-orange-pantheist-ass-off
Just one question...WTF is a butter cow? Goes straight over my head.
EBC|Fucking Metal|Artist|Androgynous Sexfiend|Gozer Kvltist|
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
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haas mark
- Official SD.Net Insomniac
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A giant cow made out of butter. Which may or may not be better or worse than the giant Spam stand that is in ABQ every year for the Balloon Fiesta.Rye wrote:LMMFGDAOPAO!*
That's some funny shit, fanboy, i'd almost completely forgotten about this, but i come back and i'm IN it! W00t!
OH man, this is so sweet! I'd best die in some cool way though.
*laugh-my-mother-funkin'-godless-damned-anthropomorphised-orange-pantheist-ass-off
Just one question...WTF is a butter cow? Goes straight over my head.
~ver
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
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R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
-
Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
I dont understnad why all you people are having difficulty at the concept of the Butter Cow, its a giant cow made out of Butter. Plain and Simple.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-
haas mark
- Official SD.Net Insomniac
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- Contact:
Not all of us have *heard of* a butter cow before, though.Darth Fanboy wrote:I dont understnad why all you people are having difficulty at the concept of the Butter Cow, its a giant cow made out of Butter. Plain and Simple.
~ver
Robert-Conway.com | lunar sun | TotalEnigma.net
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
Hot Pants à la Zaia | BotM Lord Monkey Mod OOK!
SDNC | WG | GDC | ACPATHNTDWATGODW | GALE | ISARMA | CotK: [mew]
Formerly verilon
R.I.P. Eddie Guerrero, 09 October 1967 - 13 November 2005
-
Darth Fanboy
- DUH! WINNING!
- Posts: 11182
- Joined: 2002-09-20 05:25am
- Location: Mars, where I am a totally bitchin' rockstar.
Well now you have
Its part of my insane quest to start a Quasi-Religion devoted to the butter cow so that I can create a Tax Free shelter for myself.
Its part of my insane quest to start a Quasi-Religion devoted to the butter cow so that I can create a Tax Free shelter for myself.
"If it's true that our species is alone in the universe, then I'd have to say that the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little."
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
-George Carlin (1937-2008)
"Have some of you Americans actually seen Football? Of course there are 0-0 draws but that doesn't make them any less exciting."
-Dr Roberts, with quite possibly the dumbest thing ever said in 10 years of SDNet.
Hehehe, i thought it would be one of those americanisms from an Ad or something that everyone there knows about, but noone else does.
Kinda like the "wazzuuuuuup!" thing before it went international.
Kinda like the "wazzuuuuuup!" thing before it went international.
EBC|Fucking Metal|Artist|Androgynous Sexfiend|Gozer Kvltist|
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
Listen to my music! http://www.soundclick.com/nihilanth
"America is, now, the most powerful and economically prosperous nation in the country." - Master of Ossus
-
Singular Quartet
- Sith Marauder
- Posts: 3896
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- Location: This is sky. It is made of FUCKING and LIMIT.
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Alyrium Denryle
- Minister of Sin
- Posts: 22224
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- Contact:
You know that you portray all of us almost flawlessly right?
GALE Force Biological Agent/
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
BOTM/Great Dolphin Conspiracy/
Entomology and Evolutionary Biology Subdirector:SD.net Dept. of Biological Sciences
There is Grandeur in the View of Life; it fills me with a Deep Wonder, and Intense Cynicism.
Factio republicanum delenda est
-
SirNitram
- Rest in Peace, Black Mage
- Posts: 28367
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Not quite... I still don't know where everyone gets the idea that I'm insanely jealous...Alyrium Denryle wrote:You know that you portray all of us almost flawlessly right?
Manic Progressive: A liberal who violently swings from anger at politicos to despondency over them.
Out Of Context theatre: Ron Paul has repeatedly said he's not a racist. - Destructinator XIII on why Ron Paul isn't racist.
Shadowy Overlord - BMs/Black Mage Monkey - BOTM/Jetfire - Cybertron's Finest/General Miscreant/ASVS/Supermoderator Emeritus
Debator Classification: Trollhunter
Out Of Context theatre: Ron Paul has repeatedly said he's not a racist. - Destructinator XIII on why Ron Paul isn't racist.
Shadowy Overlord - BMs/Black Mage Monkey - BOTM/Jetfire - Cybertron's Finest/General Miscreant/ASVS/Supermoderator Emeritus
Debator Classification: Trollhunter