The Dragons of North-by-Northeast Brimshire
Posted: 2006-11-02 08:22pm
Author's notes: The next one will be more interesting, as there'll be nudity and violence. But you need this one to understand what's going on in the next one. This one's mostly just introduction.
THE DRAGONS OF NORTH-BY-NORTHEAST BRIMSHIRE - EPISODE 1.1
DOCTOR ZELENKOV'S MADNESS - PART 1 OF 2
In a conservatory. Various plants can be seen surrounding two characters in beach chairs. The chairs are on a cement patio. The side windows are frosted glass, whereas the top windows are crystal. Dark shapes can be seen through the frosted glass, but little else. The plants are a mixture of exotic and "normal". In the beach chairs are two of our central characters. Between them is a speaker phone, and they are talking with the third.
On the right is MURDOCK ALLISTER. A married man with a band of white gold on his ring finger, he can be mistaken for an emo-goth hybrid without any style. Even with the amount of time he spends in the conservatory, his skin is a pallid white. His hair is a messy black mess and his eyes are a deep brown. HIs clothes are generally black, although his wife has been working hard to introduce such bright and vibrant hues as Dark Blue and Grey. He is in perfect shape, and is often mistaken for a twenty-something. He is much older.
He is lying back in the beach chair, hands clasped behind his head and legs crossed. HIs eyes are closed. He is wearing a dark grey shirt
On the left is ANNA MICHAELS. Tanned, brown-haired beauty with brilliant green eyes. She has some pudge to her. She isn't to concerned with it, since her girlfriend likes her "padding." Especially the pillows. While they are not enormous, they are still moderately sized. She is unable to go anywhere without her laptop. She dresses in bright colors, knee-high skirts, and has the mind of a dirty old man, minus the old and man.
She is sitting up in her chair, staring at her laptop. There are women on the screen doing "horrible" things to each other. She is, at the moment, dressed in dirty-coveralls from working in the conservatory itself.
Over the speakerphone is the voice of KELLY. It is a rough voice, one that has seen wars and the end of civilizations. It also sounds like it's owner inhaled in a box of nails.
KELLY: (over speaker phone) So what do you guys think?
MURDOCK: (Still not-staring at sky) It is a plan.
ANNA: Won't work.
KELLY: (over speaker phone) Why not?
ANNA: Face is to recognizable, hon.
Cut to KELLY sitting in her chair. The chair is a heavy leather one, made from THE SKIN OF HER ENEMIES, except for DOCTOR ALEXANDER ZELENKOV. Before her (and the chair) is a GIGANTIC CONSOLE with a GIGANTIC RED BUTTON and more blinky-flashy thingies than any sane human could comprehend. There are banks of them. Entire sections that are nothing but blinking and flashing lights, each with an obscure and unlabeled purpose. The console, as we will eventually see, continues around the entire room, which is about fifteen by fifteen, and the console stops only to allow the existence of a simple wooden door with a frosted glass window. On the door is written (backwards, so that you can see it from the other side)
THE LEGION OF HEROS
COMMAND AND
CONROL CENTER
One of them lights has stopped blinking YELLOW and is now blinking RED.
KELLY: Guys, I gotta go. Legion crap.
She presses the GIGANTIC RED BUTTON. It is labeled "LEGIONARIES ASSEMBLE!" She secretly wishes it summoned VOLTRON.
MURDOCK: (over speaker phone) We still up for the poker game next monday?
KELLY: Assuming Falconman's press conference goes well.
MURDOCK: (over speaker phone) Cool.
There is a click, and with it, KELLY spins in her chair and stands up.
She is a tall woman, with mass of long silver hair that cascades down to the middle of her back. It has decided that it will never impede her vision, no matter the circumstances. Her eyes are grey bastions of frightening calm, and she has been known to break her enemies just by staring at them. She is a muscular woman, and has several tattoos and scars. The most recognized is that of a chinese-styled dragon, it's maw open as though to eat her left eye, and it's body snaking down her faces and down her neck. There is a set of black marks running along the edge of her jaw. The tail of the dragon tattoo can be seen coiling around her left arm, and a band of unknown characters can be seen around her right arm. They seem to change as time progresses.
She is wearing a green t-shirt that says "FUCK OFF AND DIE" and a pair of faded jeans. She is not wearing shoes.
She opens the door and is stopped by THE SUPREME DEFENDER.
He is a hero's hero, the one that can stop bullets with his bare hands, fly faster than the air force can keep up, and can shoot laser beams out his eyes. He is clad in a red spandex uniform with blue underpants on the outside. He has a chiseled jaw line that rivals INDIANA JONES, and woman would throw themselves at him if they didn't think he was gay. His hair is parted like a valley, and has been grown in long to cover up the slowly increasing bald spot. He is ever thankful his hairline is not receding, and is hoping to die in battle saving the planet. Preferably after consummating his love for one of his team members. We won't tell who. He would start drinking, but he still has an ulcer from when PLATINUM GIRL came up with the nickname SUPERDUDE. He has tried to like it since it was her idea, but he really fucking hates it. It has stuck ever since.
KELLY: What do you want?
SUPERDUDE: You pressed the button.
KELLY: That I did. What do you want?
SUPERDUDE: Why did you press the button?
KELLY: I'll tell you when I tell everybody else.
SUPERDUDE frowns, but follows KELLY to the HALL OF HEROS, which is down the hall. In the meantime, we cut back to the Conservatory.
ANNA is still staring at her laptop. MURDOCK is still not-staring at the sun.
ANNA: Huh.
MURDOCK: What?
ANNA: Doc's released a new movie on his website.
Murdock moves, taking position over ANNA's shoulder.
MURDOCK: Oh, this'll be good.
Cut to THE HALL OF HEROS. It is a room. It is lined with past trophies that aren't really visible because it isn't that big and can barely hold the eighteen costumed loons now standing in it, including FALCONMAN and PLATINUM GIRL.
Dressed in a ridiculous Falcon costume, FALCONMAN is a regular guy with enough money to make up for all his shortcomings. Including enough money to develop a suit of power armor giving him strength, durability, enhanced vision, super-sonic flight using a pair of wings attached to it's back, a sonic disrupter that triggers the fight or flight response, and a pair of orange glowy beam cannons built into his palms that have three settings: stun, kill, and burning pulp. He is the financial backer of THE LEGION OF HEROS, it's cofounder, and co-leader. He doesn't do much leading, however, as his gruff and angsty personality pisses off everybody around him outside of work.
PLATINUM GIRL is a blonde bombshell who doesn't wear a skimpy two-piece bikini for her super-suit. Instead, she wears a one-piece that doesn't show off any cleavage, a mini-skirt, a vest, and a pair of heavy-duty gloves. None of these get torn. EVER. She also wears a mask that covers her face, but still gives her excellent peripheral vision. It is made from some random magical unbreakable platinum alloy, but looks like white gold. Don't ask how it's made. It's a secret.
No one else is really all that important, not even BOMB BOY, who looks like his mother made him a halloween costume in the shape of a grenade. I think you can guess his power.
KELLY and SUPERDUDE walk in through the main entrance.
KELLY: Alright, I haven't watched this either, but it's probably important.
Camera zooms to a large screen at the other end of the room.
We can see a shadowy figure standing before us. Behind him are various work benches full of beakers of glowing fluids, scattered parts for half completed weapons of mass destruction, and a pallet of cheesy-poofs.
The shadowy figure moves forward into the light.
DR Z is a supervillian's supervillian. He is the man all other supervillians look up to. His mad plans are legendary, his weapons are nigh unstoppable, and he has THAT LOOK. DR Z spends no time for considerations of appearance, and it is widely believed that is the reason he has lasted so long; he has some unholy stench that prevents any hero from even going near him. He wears the same dirty and tattered lab coat that reaches down to his knees that he has worn for the last twenty years. He is tall, and his face is emaciated. His hair is one gigantic free-standing forest of white, held aloft via THE ELECTRICAL POWER OF HIS BRAIN MEATS. His skin looks to be barely sticking to his bones, and his eyes faintly glow red with an unholy light or possibly because his diet consists solely of cheesy-poofs. He speaks with a bad german accent.
DR Z: DOKTOR ALEXANDER ZELENKOV SHALL DINE ON DESTRUKTION!
He leans backwards and launches into insane laughter for a solid forty seconds. The movie then cuts out.
THE CONSERVATORY
MURDOCK: I think he's gained weight.
ANNA: In what? Dirt on his lab coat?
THE HALL OF HEROS
KELLY: How many know about Doc Zelenkov?
Every hand is raised.
KELLY: How many here have fought Doc Zelenkov?
Every hand drops, even the hand of BOMB BOY. KELLY smiles an evil smile.
KELLY: Oh, good. You're all in for a treat. First order of business: force disposition. Doc Z always sends two sets. The first arrived in the harbor, coming off a cargo ship. We can get the Port Authority to look into where the ship came from afterwards, I just want everybody except Aerial Beauty and Top Striker down there now to stop them. Aerial, I want you to give Westfield a once over, and Top Striker, I want you to check Southton. I'll take my bike and give here in Iverson a good look. If they aren't there, I want you at the docks. If they are there, call it in. Any questions?
She pauses a moment.
KELLY: Good. Move out.
The others file out as KELLY walks back through the door she entered. PLATINUM GIRL catches up with her.
PLATINUM GIRL: Kelly!
KELLY does not stop, and instead continues through the door out into the opposite hall.
KELLY: What?
PLATINUM GIRL: You're up to something.
KELLY continues down the hall towards the stairwell.
KELLY: A bit. You should go with the others.
KELLY opens the door into an emergency staircase. There is a five foot square of space that is not occupied by stairs. KELLY takes hold of the rail. PLATINUM GIRL lifts into the air.
PLATINUM GIRL: What's going on?
KELLY: You should get going.
PLATINUM GIRL: I can catch up.
KELLY: The first force is a diversion.
KELLY swings over the railing and drops down the space in the stairwell.
PLATINUM GIRL: What?!
PLATINUM GIRL follows her without any effort. KELLY lands without a sound at the bottom of the stairwell.
KELLY: It's always a diversion.
KELLY opens the door into the garage. It's like any other parking garage. Except it's filled with superhero cars, like the FALCONMOBILE. There is also a bright red "crotch rocket" motorcycle with a Soviet-Era Captain's Great-Coat draped over it.
PLATINUM GIRL: What are you talking about?
KELLY: He wants something. And I'm going to give it to him. (KELLY puts on the coat, and then gets on the motor cycle.) They'll need you at the wharf. Zelenkov isn't one to fuck around.
PLATINUM GIRL: Alright, but I expect an answer once you get back.
KELLY: (starting engine) Fine. (She guns the engine out of the garage)
Cut to the warehouse district. View is from ground level The sound of rhythmic marching can be heard, and four rows of ten metal feet goose-step past. As they march, the foot-steps become louder and louder. Once they're past, the steps are more like stomps now, and we can hear the hissing of hydraulics. A massive pair of reverse-joint legs stomp into view in perfect sync with the goose-steppers.
DR Z ROBOT: The DR Z ROBOT is a rather generic thing. Shaped roughly humanoid, it has excellent flexibility for being a metal construct, with full degrees of motion. It is a shaped like a person, except with armor plating. It will, on occasion, fire red beams of ANGRY DEATH from the mouth and eye holes in it's mask. Each one has a number painted on it's chest, face, shoulders, and knees in reflective white safety paint. Because DR Z is fucked up in the head like that.
Cut to KELLY driving her crotch-rocket at over eighty-miles an hour along an empty city boulevard. She leans on the brakes and makes a hard right turn onto a side street, parking it in front of an empty sidewalk cafe. She pulls off her coat and throws it over her motorcycle, and looks down the street, smiling. The camera pans, and three hundred and eighty DR Z ROBOTs stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Their numbers start at 20 and run all the way to 399, who is hiding towards the back.
KELLY lifts her fists to her face, and cracks her knuckles, still smiling. She launches into a run towards the DR Z ROBOTS.
The frame freezes.
TO BE CONTINUED
THE DRAGONS OF NORTH-BY-NORTHEAST BRIMSHIRE - EPISODE 1.1
DOCTOR ZELENKOV'S MADNESS - PART 1 OF 2
In a conservatory. Various plants can be seen surrounding two characters in beach chairs. The chairs are on a cement patio. The side windows are frosted glass, whereas the top windows are crystal. Dark shapes can be seen through the frosted glass, but little else. The plants are a mixture of exotic and "normal". In the beach chairs are two of our central characters. Between them is a speaker phone, and they are talking with the third.
On the right is MURDOCK ALLISTER. A married man with a band of white gold on his ring finger, he can be mistaken for an emo-goth hybrid without any style. Even with the amount of time he spends in the conservatory, his skin is a pallid white. His hair is a messy black mess and his eyes are a deep brown. HIs clothes are generally black, although his wife has been working hard to introduce such bright and vibrant hues as Dark Blue and Grey. He is in perfect shape, and is often mistaken for a twenty-something. He is much older.
He is lying back in the beach chair, hands clasped behind his head and legs crossed. HIs eyes are closed. He is wearing a dark grey shirt
On the left is ANNA MICHAELS. Tanned, brown-haired beauty with brilliant green eyes. She has some pudge to her. She isn't to concerned with it, since her girlfriend likes her "padding." Especially the pillows. While they are not enormous, they are still moderately sized. She is unable to go anywhere without her laptop. She dresses in bright colors, knee-high skirts, and has the mind of a dirty old man, minus the old and man.
She is sitting up in her chair, staring at her laptop. There are women on the screen doing "horrible" things to each other. She is, at the moment, dressed in dirty-coveralls from working in the conservatory itself.
Over the speakerphone is the voice of KELLY. It is a rough voice, one that has seen wars and the end of civilizations. It also sounds like it's owner inhaled in a box of nails.
KELLY: (over speaker phone) So what do you guys think?
MURDOCK: (Still not-staring at sky) It is a plan.
ANNA: Won't work.
KELLY: (over speaker phone) Why not?
ANNA: Face is to recognizable, hon.
Cut to KELLY sitting in her chair. The chair is a heavy leather one, made from THE SKIN OF HER ENEMIES, except for DOCTOR ALEXANDER ZELENKOV. Before her (and the chair) is a GIGANTIC CONSOLE with a GIGANTIC RED BUTTON and more blinky-flashy thingies than any sane human could comprehend. There are banks of them. Entire sections that are nothing but blinking and flashing lights, each with an obscure and unlabeled purpose. The console, as we will eventually see, continues around the entire room, which is about fifteen by fifteen, and the console stops only to allow the existence of a simple wooden door with a frosted glass window. On the door is written (backwards, so that you can see it from the other side)
THE LEGION OF HEROS
COMMAND AND
CONROL CENTER
One of them lights has stopped blinking YELLOW and is now blinking RED.
KELLY: Guys, I gotta go. Legion crap.
She presses the GIGANTIC RED BUTTON. It is labeled "LEGIONARIES ASSEMBLE!" She secretly wishes it summoned VOLTRON.
MURDOCK: (over speaker phone) We still up for the poker game next monday?
KELLY: Assuming Falconman's press conference goes well.
MURDOCK: (over speaker phone) Cool.
There is a click, and with it, KELLY spins in her chair and stands up.
She is a tall woman, with mass of long silver hair that cascades down to the middle of her back. It has decided that it will never impede her vision, no matter the circumstances. Her eyes are grey bastions of frightening calm, and she has been known to break her enemies just by staring at them. She is a muscular woman, and has several tattoos and scars. The most recognized is that of a chinese-styled dragon, it's maw open as though to eat her left eye, and it's body snaking down her faces and down her neck. There is a set of black marks running along the edge of her jaw. The tail of the dragon tattoo can be seen coiling around her left arm, and a band of unknown characters can be seen around her right arm. They seem to change as time progresses.
She is wearing a green t-shirt that says "FUCK OFF AND DIE" and a pair of faded jeans. She is not wearing shoes.
She opens the door and is stopped by THE SUPREME DEFENDER.
He is a hero's hero, the one that can stop bullets with his bare hands, fly faster than the air force can keep up, and can shoot laser beams out his eyes. He is clad in a red spandex uniform with blue underpants on the outside. He has a chiseled jaw line that rivals INDIANA JONES, and woman would throw themselves at him if they didn't think he was gay. His hair is parted like a valley, and has been grown in long to cover up the slowly increasing bald spot. He is ever thankful his hairline is not receding, and is hoping to die in battle saving the planet. Preferably after consummating his love for one of his team members. We won't tell who. He would start drinking, but he still has an ulcer from when PLATINUM GIRL came up with the nickname SUPERDUDE. He has tried to like it since it was her idea, but he really fucking hates it. It has stuck ever since.
KELLY: What do you want?
SUPERDUDE: You pressed the button.
KELLY: That I did. What do you want?
SUPERDUDE: Why did you press the button?
KELLY: I'll tell you when I tell everybody else.
SUPERDUDE frowns, but follows KELLY to the HALL OF HEROS, which is down the hall. In the meantime, we cut back to the Conservatory.
ANNA is still staring at her laptop. MURDOCK is still not-staring at the sun.
ANNA: Huh.
MURDOCK: What?
ANNA: Doc's released a new movie on his website.
Murdock moves, taking position over ANNA's shoulder.
MURDOCK: Oh, this'll be good.
Cut to THE HALL OF HEROS. It is a room. It is lined with past trophies that aren't really visible because it isn't that big and can barely hold the eighteen costumed loons now standing in it, including FALCONMAN and PLATINUM GIRL.
Dressed in a ridiculous Falcon costume, FALCONMAN is a regular guy with enough money to make up for all his shortcomings. Including enough money to develop a suit of power armor giving him strength, durability, enhanced vision, super-sonic flight using a pair of wings attached to it's back, a sonic disrupter that triggers the fight or flight response, and a pair of orange glowy beam cannons built into his palms that have three settings: stun, kill, and burning pulp. He is the financial backer of THE LEGION OF HEROS, it's cofounder, and co-leader. He doesn't do much leading, however, as his gruff and angsty personality pisses off everybody around him outside of work.
PLATINUM GIRL is a blonde bombshell who doesn't wear a skimpy two-piece bikini for her super-suit. Instead, she wears a one-piece that doesn't show off any cleavage, a mini-skirt, a vest, and a pair of heavy-duty gloves. None of these get torn. EVER. She also wears a mask that covers her face, but still gives her excellent peripheral vision. It is made from some random magical unbreakable platinum alloy, but looks like white gold. Don't ask how it's made. It's a secret.
No one else is really all that important, not even BOMB BOY, who looks like his mother made him a halloween costume in the shape of a grenade. I think you can guess his power.
KELLY and SUPERDUDE walk in through the main entrance.
KELLY: Alright, I haven't watched this either, but it's probably important.
Camera zooms to a large screen at the other end of the room.
We can see a shadowy figure standing before us. Behind him are various work benches full of beakers of glowing fluids, scattered parts for half completed weapons of mass destruction, and a pallet of cheesy-poofs.
The shadowy figure moves forward into the light.
DR Z is a supervillian's supervillian. He is the man all other supervillians look up to. His mad plans are legendary, his weapons are nigh unstoppable, and he has THAT LOOK. DR Z spends no time for considerations of appearance, and it is widely believed that is the reason he has lasted so long; he has some unholy stench that prevents any hero from even going near him. He wears the same dirty and tattered lab coat that reaches down to his knees that he has worn for the last twenty years. He is tall, and his face is emaciated. His hair is one gigantic free-standing forest of white, held aloft via THE ELECTRICAL POWER OF HIS BRAIN MEATS. His skin looks to be barely sticking to his bones, and his eyes faintly glow red with an unholy light or possibly because his diet consists solely of cheesy-poofs. He speaks with a bad german accent.
DR Z: DOKTOR ALEXANDER ZELENKOV SHALL DINE ON DESTRUKTION!
He leans backwards and launches into insane laughter for a solid forty seconds. The movie then cuts out.
THE CONSERVATORY
MURDOCK: I think he's gained weight.
ANNA: In what? Dirt on his lab coat?
THE HALL OF HEROS
KELLY: How many know about Doc Zelenkov?
Every hand is raised.
KELLY: How many here have fought Doc Zelenkov?
Every hand drops, even the hand of BOMB BOY. KELLY smiles an evil smile.
KELLY: Oh, good. You're all in for a treat. First order of business: force disposition. Doc Z always sends two sets. The first arrived in the harbor, coming off a cargo ship. We can get the Port Authority to look into where the ship came from afterwards, I just want everybody except Aerial Beauty and Top Striker down there now to stop them. Aerial, I want you to give Westfield a once over, and Top Striker, I want you to check Southton. I'll take my bike and give here in Iverson a good look. If they aren't there, I want you at the docks. If they are there, call it in. Any questions?
She pauses a moment.
KELLY: Good. Move out.
The others file out as KELLY walks back through the door she entered. PLATINUM GIRL catches up with her.
PLATINUM GIRL: Kelly!
KELLY does not stop, and instead continues through the door out into the opposite hall.
KELLY: What?
PLATINUM GIRL: You're up to something.
KELLY continues down the hall towards the stairwell.
KELLY: A bit. You should go with the others.
KELLY opens the door into an emergency staircase. There is a five foot square of space that is not occupied by stairs. KELLY takes hold of the rail. PLATINUM GIRL lifts into the air.
PLATINUM GIRL: What's going on?
KELLY: You should get going.
PLATINUM GIRL: I can catch up.
KELLY: The first force is a diversion.
KELLY swings over the railing and drops down the space in the stairwell.
PLATINUM GIRL: What?!
PLATINUM GIRL follows her without any effort. KELLY lands without a sound at the bottom of the stairwell.
KELLY: It's always a diversion.
KELLY opens the door into the garage. It's like any other parking garage. Except it's filled with superhero cars, like the FALCONMOBILE. There is also a bright red "crotch rocket" motorcycle with a Soviet-Era Captain's Great-Coat draped over it.
PLATINUM GIRL: What are you talking about?
KELLY: He wants something. And I'm going to give it to him. (KELLY puts on the coat, and then gets on the motor cycle.) They'll need you at the wharf. Zelenkov isn't one to fuck around.
PLATINUM GIRL: Alright, but I expect an answer once you get back.
KELLY: (starting engine) Fine. (She guns the engine out of the garage)
Cut to the warehouse district. View is from ground level The sound of rhythmic marching can be heard, and four rows of ten metal feet goose-step past. As they march, the foot-steps become louder and louder. Once they're past, the steps are more like stomps now, and we can hear the hissing of hydraulics. A massive pair of reverse-joint legs stomp into view in perfect sync with the goose-steppers.
DR Z ROBOT: The DR Z ROBOT is a rather generic thing. Shaped roughly humanoid, it has excellent flexibility for being a metal construct, with full degrees of motion. It is a shaped like a person, except with armor plating. It will, on occasion, fire red beams of ANGRY DEATH from the mouth and eye holes in it's mask. Each one has a number painted on it's chest, face, shoulders, and knees in reflective white safety paint. Because DR Z is fucked up in the head like that.
Cut to KELLY driving her crotch-rocket at over eighty-miles an hour along an empty city boulevard. She leans on the brakes and makes a hard right turn onto a side street, parking it in front of an empty sidewalk cafe. She pulls off her coat and throws it over her motorcycle, and looks down the street, smiling. The camera pans, and three hundred and eighty DR Z ROBOTs stand shoulder-to-shoulder. Their numbers start at 20 and run all the way to 399, who is hiding towards the back.
KELLY lifts her fists to her face, and cracks her knuckles, still smiling. She launches into a run towards the DR Z ROBOTS.
The frame freezes.
TO BE CONTINUED
