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Snape stalked through the halls after getting his little serpents settled. The talk with Potter had disturbed him deeply, and he would have given him detention for his cheek except that he didn’t want the dubious distinction of being the first head to give detention to a member of his own house. He’d wait until the Weasley twins blew something up and got a detention from Minerva (which he knew was likely to happen within the next week) and then he would be free to descend on Potter like an avenging Fury. He found himself at the gargoyle that guarded the stairs to the Headmaster’s sanctum almost without willing his feet to carry him there. Light shone out of the crack around the Headmaster’s door, which meant that he was not the only one disturbed at this hour of the night. “Sherbet lemon,” he snapped. The gargoyle stepped aside, and Snape rode the spiral staircase upward. The door opened before he could knock, and he wondered sourly why the griffin shaped knocker was even there. It never got any use.

“Ah, Severus, I thought you’d be up before long.” The Headmaster sat behind his wide desk, with the Sorting Hat on its stool in front of it, almost as if the Hat were being called on the carpet.

“Headmaster, that Hat has finally gone insane. Potter can’t belong in my house. He can’t!”

“I thought you might be concerned. I was, as well. Therefore I thought we might ask the Hat for an explanation, together.”

“What’s there to explain?” asked the Hat. “The boy had to be Sorted, I Sorted him. That’s my job.”

“But into Slytherin? The boy’s parents were Gryffindor through and through,” said Dumbledore.

“But he is not. You should know, you’re responsible for making him what he is,” said the Hat. “If you wanted him to be a Gryffindor, you should have left him with Sirius Black. Or those Weasleys, they’re an excellent lot!”

“Black was a traitor and a murderer,” snapped Snape.

“Impossible. I know what was in that boy’s head when he was Sorted. He wasn’t capable of it. You, on the other hand …”

“If I may,” interrupted Dumbledore. “We’re here to discuss Mr. Potter.”

“Yes, yes. A delightful boy. We had a wonderful chat. You really must invite him up here some time, Headmaster. I’d love to talk with him again.”

“Hat, you will re-Sort that boy or … or I’ll turn you into a propeller beanie!” said Snape.

“Don’t make threats you can’t keep,” said the Hat. “I think I know my job better than you, I’ve been doing it for over a millennium! There will be no re-Sorting. The boy is a Slytherin to the core, no other place would serve him as well. Don’t you remember what I sang?” The Hat broke into song again.

“Or perhaps in Slytherin

You'll make your real friends,

Those cunning folk use any means

To achieve their ends.

“Perhaps it’s not great poetry, but it’s clear enough. The Potter boy knows he has a Destiny.”

Dumbledore gave a start, and actually paled slightly.

“Don’t worry, Headmaster, he knows nothing of the details, but he knows it exists. Over and above that, he has a dream, and he is determined to do whatever it takes to meet his Destiny and achieve his dream. Whatever it takes. Little things like conventional morality and social standards are not going to stand in his way. You tell me where I should put him. Bravery he has in plenty, intelligence and loyalty as well, but it is his drive to succeed that is his strongest trait.” The Hat sighed. “Professor, your house has become a haven for those unwilling or unable to face change. It was never intended to be a retreat for pure-bloods, and it must not continue to be so. There’s more to ambition than being power-hungry, and there’s more to cunning than cheating on your exams! You yourself are proof of that.”

“But it’s you that’s been Sorting them that way.”

“It’s their parents who’ve been teaching them that ambition without bravery, loyalty, or talent is enough to get by. What am I to do when I am presented with such paltry material? The Malfoy boy, for example, is lazy, craven, and woefully ignorant, and he is unwilling to change. Yet he is filled with a blinding ambition to rule over all others, convinced that his heritage and his pure blood – as if any of them are pure! – entitle him to such a lofty status without effort on his part, and blissfully unaware of the responsibilities that go with such an exalted state. Where else am I to put him? I would say that less than half of your house embodies the ideals of the Founder, Professor. And the more it strays from those ideals, the further it will sink into the mire. If Slytherin wishes to regain its greatness, it needs what the Potter boy has to offer. And if he wants to survive, he needs what Slytherin can teach. So be it. The Great and Powerful Hat has spoken!”

“You can’t possibly expect me to have Potter in my house!” Snape ranted. “What of the danger? He has enemies there already!”

“Severus,” Dumbledore said, “there have always been student rivalries and feuds. Perhaps in this case it is extreme, but you must remember these are only students. It is the job of the head of house to keep house squabbles at a safe level. If you don’t wish to take this responsibility, perhaps it is time that you ceased being its head. Professor Sinistra was in Slytherin in her day, perhaps she’d be willing to serve. Or Quirrell. He’s young, but no younger than you were when you became head.”

That hit Snape like a dash of cold water in the face. Lose his house? Unthinkable! “Sinistra would never come down out of her tower to watch over them, Headmaster. And my snakes would eat Quirrell alive! He’s afraid of his shadow as it is.”

“Then you must come to terms with having Harry Potter in your house, Severus. I know you have an old grudge against his father, but it really is quite childish, and it is time to put away childish things. Time and long past time.”

“Very well, Headmaster. Potter may stay. But what of his cousins? Perhaps they could be re-Sorted elsewhere? I dislike having the little knot of the three of them together where they can make mischief.”

“Perhaps. It would at the least encourage him to have a relationship with someone in another house. Hat, what have you to say about that?”

“Absolutely not. The boy is brave enough for Gryffindor, true, but the only thing he really has in common with any of them is a deep and abiding love for explosions. I shudder to think what would happen if you put him in a tower with the Weasley twins. The girl is brilliant, but far too ruthless for Ravenclaw.”

“Hufflepuff?”

“Headmaster, if you want the Hufflepuffs to take over the world, just say so. I’ll re-Sort everyone into Hufflepuff and save them the trouble.”

Dumbledore blinked, and even Snape was taken aback. “Who are these people? What are they? Headmaster, if the Potter boy and these two are amoral, then–”

“I did not say ‘amoral’,” snapped the Hat. “I said he will not let conventional morality stand in his way. He has his own standards, as do the Addams children, and they will live and die by those standards, no matter how odd they may appear to others.”

“Hat, I must demand a clear answer,” said the Headmaster, firmly. “Are we looking at another Dark Lord in the making?”

The Hat made a tsk-ing sound. “Headmaster, you must know by now there are no clear answers, especially when you do not ask clear questions. The boy is Dark, yes, it is his birthright. He was marked by Darkness and brought up in it. He may well become a true Lord; he has the innate nobility that so many who claim that title lack, and is aware, as Malfoy is not, of the responsibilities that go with power. I will say this: having a Dark Lord might not be a bad thing, if it is Harry Potter.”

I always wondered how he would be if raised by some comic-verse magicians. Maybe a Constantine, Dr. Fate, or Dr. Strange.

General Schatten wrote:I'm not familiar with the website the fan-fic is hosted on, is there any way to tell how long ago that Harry Potter/Addams Family Fic is? It's really fun.

General Schatten wrote:I'm not familiar with the website the fan-fic is hosted on, is there any way to tell how long ago that Harry Potter/Addams Family Fic is? It's really fun.

Majin Gojira wrote:But if Harry was raised by Buffy and the gang, Time Lords would step in and remind everyone that Buffy and Harry are about the SAME AGE by both their timelines. .

neoolong wrote:I always wondered how he would be if raised by some comic-verse magicians. Maybe a Constantine, Dr. Fate, or Dr. Strange.

Sidewinder wrote:I don't know enough about John Constantine to comment,

Majin Gojira wrote:Buffy/HP crossovers suck, with so few exceptions that it hardly matters in the scheme of things, the ratio of Diamonds to Rough is well below 0.1%.

But if Harry was raised by Buffy and the gang, Time Lords would step in and remind everyone that Buffy and Harry are about the SAME AGE by both their timelines.

That, and if they existed in the same universe, Wizards would be hiding and living in fear of the servants of True Demons and Old Ones.

The metal dragon charged. "Snake Face hurt Friend Harry! Me, Grimlock, hate Snake Face!"

Voldemort's wand slashed at Grimlock. "Avada Kedavra!" The green bolt shot at the metal dragon, only to bounce harmlessly off its armor. "Avada Kedavra! Avada Kedavra! Ava--" Grimlock, now a stone's throw away, opened his mouth to reveal rows of metal-cutting teeth. "Ahhhh!" All of the Dark Lord's magic proved useless against the actuators closing the jaws around his body. Voldemort felt pain as his legs were severed at the knees, and then... nothing.

Jawawithagun wrote:
As for Harry raised by other people how about some Buffy and gang?

consequences wrote:How about not? It blatantly craps on both the canon and the characters of Angel, wanks the Slayer force for no good reason, buffs them with needless crossovers(Gee, let's have SG1 backstopping them and supplying them with toys! And Stephen Seagal's Navy Seal chef character is their cook!1shift1shift1!!). Oh, and stupid crap like "The fact this guy apparently thought nothing whatsoever of tossing around memory-altering spells, the darkest of dark magic" had better be the result of Willow's decades long guilt trip coloring the magic curriculum at Slayer U, because otherwise it's one of the stupidest things I've ever heard.

Crossroads Inc. wrote:You know I have almost No intrest in Harry Potter outside of the books, however after reading the "Adams" version.. I am far more interested.

Enigma wrote:

Crossroads Inc. wrote:You know I have almost No intrest in Harry Potter outside of the books, however after reading the "Adams" version.. I am far more interested.

I agree. I finished reading all eleven chapters and I want more!