MST4K: Episode Twelve: Games (Amusingly bad Lemon)
Posted: 2007-01-08 12:14am
Took a break over the yule. Still posting old ones. It'll take awhile to get to the new stuff.
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Mordancy Sarcasm Theater 4000
By Tim Jewett
All belongs to whom it belongs to. Also, please don't sue me. Thank you
In the not too distant future...
(Tim pops up and blasts the opening sequence with a missile)
Tim: Let's get on with it, shall we?
(Satellite of Lust, three minutes after the end of that REALLY funny show, you know, THAT show!)
Graham: So Tim, what's on the agenda today?
Tim: (Reading a book) The usual. We get sent a fic, we tear it a few new assholes, and then we make the satellite live up to its name
Graham: AGAIN? We did that LAST week!
Tim: Yeah, but we have a sailor moon lemon this time and a Sailor Moon guest star.
(Mizuno Ami appears out of the guestway express)
Ami: Am I late? Have the lectures, already be- Hey, this isn't the quantum physics lecture hall!
Tim: (sticking in a bookmark and slapping the book closed) No, it's the Quantum physics demonstration hall. I assume you're gonna be our guest MST'er today? Artlu was really iffy on the details.
Graham: On purpose, no doubt.
Ami: MST? I think I've heard of that. Isn't that where they take bad movies and make fun of them for two hours?
Tim: Pretty much, except we're doing fanfics instead.
Graham: And the ONLY word you got about today's is that it's a Sailor Moon lemon?
Tim: Yep. Artlu said he didn't want to "spoil the surprise". He assured me it wasn't an Oscarfic though.
Graham and Ami: Thank god!
Tim: By the way, I'm Tim, He's Graham. And looking at the time, it looks like he's gonna skip the exchange today... Ohbewellven.
(Klaxons wail)
Tim: I WAS RIGHT!
(The hurry into the Theatre, the doors a mass of rubble after Tim had to read Phoneography last time)
>Sailor Moon and all the relatives characters and names are propertie
>of Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, DIC, Kodansha and also to a lot of
>people that I don't know, so please don't sue me.
Tim: Now what'll I do saturday?
>This story is hentai, so if you read it, you do it under you own
>risk.
Ami: Hentai? (She starts to nosebleed slghtly)
Tim: Makoto told us you liked them. Don't try and hide it.
Graham: Still waters do run deepest.
>Any comment or blame is welcome.
Tim: (Grins, somewhat sadistically)
>You can e-mail me at a961105n@pucp.edu.pe
>Now on the story...
All: On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Blitzen!
>******************************************************
>GAMES
>by
>Artemis
Tim: What games, the US opens?
>"Come on, come on...Oh not... oh, not again!!" Mina cried
Ami: Six seconds into the story and I'm confused already!
Tim: I've read this before. Trust me, you'll be a lot more confused before the night's over.
>and smashed her closed hand over the arcade.
Graham: If she can fit her entire hand over the arcade, she must've grown a lot.
Tim: Attack of the fifty foot Mina!
>The screen showed "GAME OVER" in red letters and an annoying
>music came out of the arcade.
Ami: She shouldn't be wasting her time with video games.
Graham: You're one to talk, Ms AD&D, and addicted to pokemon...
Ami: How'd you know that?
Tim: We didn't, we're good guessers, now back to the fic!
>She was playing Sailor V. "How ironic is this, I can beat this
>game..." she said.
Ami: You mean "CAN'T beat"
Tim: How Ironic is it? Well, It's like ra-ain, on your wedding day. Also, like a free ride, when you've already paid...
Graham: That's enough of that "hit" song that was about a word that the singer couldn't even accurately define.
Ami: Isn't it Ironic?
Tim: Dontcha think?
Graham: Not if I can help it, no. (rimshot)
>Andrew laughed behind her. "Ha Mina!, what? Can't
>you beat it?" "Oh, yes, I can't beat this silly game" "Why don't try
>it again?" "Well, I think so...".
Ami: Has Andrew started talking to himself?
Tim: No, Meet Annie, Andrew's roommate in his body.
>She was putting another quarter in the machine when suddenly the
>alarm of her watch started to ring,
Graham: Go go, power senshi...
Tim: Out of curiosity, have you ever been buzzed and called by your codenames at school?
Ami: A few times yes... Hey, wait, how did you know that I'm...
Tim: We have our sources.
Graham: Cartoon Network for one...
>"Oh, it's too late!!", she stood up and ran toward the door "Bye
>Andrew, I have things to do..." "Bye Mina, see you soon" he said,
>waving her hand at her.
Ami: Ouch!
Graham: Was that for the spelling mistake or the fact that it implied a severed hand?
Tim: Yes.
>The door with the words "Crown Arcade" closed slowly behind her.
>Mina had a doubt in her head
Tim: It was right next to the nagging suspicion and mounting paranoia, which, unlike the single doubt, were abundant in stock.
>"Where she said that we'll meet? oh... where it was?... Ah! I
>remember!"
Graham: Is it just me, or does this fic sound like an old B movie?
Tim and Ami: B movie!
>and then she started to run toward the central park.
Tim: AWWW! Can't it be South Park? Then I can scream at Serena the, "Oh My God! You Killed Kenny!" bit.
>The streets for which she passed by were strangely empty,
>not a single person and there wasn't even a single sound.
Ami: I'll bet she was rigged for silent running...
Tim: Not bad. Hmmm, Maybe she was on the same streets Oscar frequented.
Graham: Speaking of which, how much did you finally squeeze out of him?
Ami: a One and Twenty Zeros. EACH, with double for Artemis.
>Even the birds were strangely in silence.
Graham: Did you say, THE BIRDS?
Tim: Or worse yet, Oscar?
Ami: Stop talking about him!
>She started to run even faster. "I'll be late... she'll be mad..." she
Tim: She'll be Late, Late, for a very important Date! Well, at least a very Hentai one...
Ami: Why doesn't that sound good for us, and why is my nose bleeding?
>thought and then she heard a strange noise behind her and that made
>her to turn around. Nothing was in there.
Graham: There being?
>Now Mina felt something again behind her.
Ami: It turned out to just be her clothes.
>Suddenly all turned foggy and cool.
Tim: What have we told you about having experiences with Mary Jane, Mina?
Graham: Yeah, and stop smoking weed, too.
>She turned around again
Ami: Well, her life is going in circles.
>and she thought that she saw a black shadow jumping out of her
>sight. She watched over all the street but she didn't see anything. A
>long laugh broke the silence. A strange laugh, almost false. "HA HA
>HA HA!!!
Tim: AHHH! KODACHI! KILL IT!!!!!!!! (whips out a double buster and his quad gatling, destroying several screens before calming down enough to continue.) Sorry, I just hate that laugh.
>I finally had found you!". "Who is in there?!?" She shouted. "Now
>I'll have you!!".
Graham: And your little dog too!
>"WHO IS IN THERE?!? SHOW YOURSELF!!" she shouted louder.
>Mina was reaching for her Power stick inside of her pocket
Tim: They dun keep 'em in their pockets, kiddo.
Ami: Yes, we keep them in our Backpacks.
Graham: Not always you don't...
(Ami Blushes and nosebleeds)
>when she felt that someone was behind her and she started to turn
>around
Ami: She must be trapped on one of those teacup rides in disneyworld!
>but something hit her in her head. All was starting to get black
>and she was falling to the ground. She felt that someone grabbed her
>and she heard that laugh again and then all went black...
Tim: And men with small dicks rejoiced.
Ami: (Nosebleed gets worse)
>... Mina woke up slowly but she couldn't see anything.
Tim: CRAPPY SCENE BREAK!
>She noticed that her hands were tied behind her back and that
>something covered her eyes.
>She felt herself naked and that she was also using large stockings
>that fit perfectly with her delicately rounded legs.
Graham: That just sounded wrong. Not really, Hentai, but just wrong.
Tim: Them rounded legs must be pretty fat if they perfectly fit large stockings.
>She felt scared and that feeling increased when someone grabbed her
>violently by her shoulders and threw her over something soft.
Ami: Making her slam into something hard.
Tim: Between a rock and a hard thing.
Graham: Congrats Tim, you just made this fic at least twice as hentai.
Tim: I try.
>She realized that she was over a bed.
Ami: Exorcist remake, take four.
>"What are you going to do?" she cried with tears filling her eyes.
Graham: well, we're going to do your nails, and give you a facial, and we have to do something about that hair of yours! Big red bows are SOOO eighties!
>"I said it to you... I'll have you..." the voice said,
Tim: You aleady have her.
>it was a soft voice. She felt that her legs were been forced to open
>and she tried to keep them closed but she couldn't.
All: (cock heads to the right trying to figure out what the hell that last section meant.)
>"No please, no!!" she cried. A warm tongue touched her in her ankle
Graham: So, the tongue is INSIDE her ankle?
Tim: Whoever is doing this to Mina must have a sharp tongue...
>through the nylon of the stocking and she felt that was starting to go
>toward her crotch. Mina moved herself trying to avoid it but that
>seemed to upset the person.
Ami: Hey, gimme a break! I mean I take the trouble to kidnap you and all you can do is be ungrateful, jeesh!
>She felt that she was been taking by her thighs and that stopped her.
Tim: Her thought process?
>"Please... don't..." she cried. She felt the warm tongue now over her
>pussy, licking it up and down on her outer lips. She turned her head to
>one side. The hands of that person separated her outer lips and
>the tongue shot itself toward her clit, flickering it and lickering it
>in small circles.
Ami: Flickering? Lickering? Those sound like electrical problems.
>"AHH!.. no... please.. AHH!.. please stop..." she muttered between
>her hipcups.
Graham: What the hell is a hipcup?
Tim: Either a mispelled Hiccup, or a device designed to hold the hips up, like a bra cup.
>But the person bit her clit softly and pulled it with its teeth.
Ami: A clit with Teeth?
>A scream came from Mina, her hands tried to get free but
>the knots were firm amd hard. "No, please don't do this to me...".
>The tongue started to dart inside of her cunt causing her to moan
>with every single touch of it over her pussy. Mina tried to control
>herself but the sensation was taking control of her. A finger
>replaced the tongue and it was licking its way toward her breasts.
Ami: A FINGER WITH A TONGUE?
Graham: Oh, no, it is the licking finger? What, have we, done.
Tim: Cover your chest so it can't... lick? your, nipples? hmm, the clit with teeth and the finger with a tongue. B movie gives this fic too much credit!
>The tongue reached them and licked them in big circles but never
>touched the nipples. Mina was crying for what was happening.
Tim: Crying BECAUSE of, or Crying because she LIKED what was happening?
>Another finger entered inside of her and both of them increased their
>motion. the other hand grabbed her right nipple and tugged it hard
>making her to cry louder. The tongue was now looking for her
>mouth but she clenched her teeth. The fingers went more deep
>inside of her and she released a big scream.
Tim: Big Scream. Brought to you once again by Bignoise Inc.
>The tongue then got inside of her mouth and played with her own.
>Her tears were now falling over her cheeks. Mina noticed that the body
>was getting over her and that her own legs were wrapped around the
>waist of that person. She prepared herself for the worst.
Ami: Being the subject of an Oscar written fic?
>"NO PLEASE, DON'T DO IT!!" she cried out of control. The
Tim: Well, I admit Oscarfic placement is a pretty horrible thing...
>fingers got out of her pussy and the person
Graham: Those fingers get out a lot.
Tim: Always at the hottest night clubs in town...
>ran them very slowly over her mound, her stomach, the channel
>between her breasts, her chin and were now on her mouth. The voice
>demanded "lick yourself, lick your own juices!!".
Tim: Whoa, I knew you scouts were flexible, but I didn't know you were THAT flexible!
Ami: Uhhh, Ummm... (blushes)
>She felt her own juices over the fingers and she noticed that the
>person was using gloves, but they seemed made of some sort of soft
>material.
Graham: Say... cat fur?
Tim: OR maybe velvet, latex, properly treated leather, cotton, silk, cetain kinds of wool, chincilla fur. the list goes on. Be more specific next time.
>The person was crawling over her and now the voice demanded
>"Now you little bitch, LICK ME!!".
Tim: Hey, Mina's not a dog!
Graham: Yeah, she's a fox!
Tim: She's gotta be on the lookout for them wolves out there.
Ami: Enough of the dog jokes.
Tim: Hey, you shoulda seen the time we kept doing those "moon" jokes...
>She felt that the person had gone in a "69" style. "LICK ME!!" the
>voice repeated.
Ami: For those who missed it beforehand: "Lick me".
>She got surprised when she put her mouth over the person's crotch.
>It was a WOMAN!.
Tim: I give you THE FIRST PLOT POINT OF THE FIC!
>The woman started to moan when Mina put her tongue over
>her pussy. "Good, oh, you make it good!!",
Ami: Okay, this woman apparently has erogenous zones that extend beyond her body.
>then the woman put her hands on Mina's thighs, squeezing them
>softly
Graham: Aww, she's deforming those "perfectly rounded legs"
>and licking them downward her pussy.
Tim: Is that shorthand, or is the author just plain messed?
Graham: Hmm, messed.
>Mina stopped to ask, almost crying, "Why? Why do you this to me?"
Ami: Yoda apparently wrote the script dub for this fic.
Tim: Hey, how dare you insult Yoda by comparing him to this fic!
>"I liked you since the first time that I saw you and I want you all for
>me, no one deserve to have you, except me... and now LICK ME!!"
Tim: That was DISTURBINGLY similiar to the letter Oscar wrote Artemis...
>and saying this the woman slapped her in her thighs making her cry.
Graham: She slapped her on the inside! More deformations of those rounded legs!
>Mina only could continue with this,
Ami: Well, no DUH!
>she thrusted her tongue inside of the woman, licking the honey of
>her, falling inside of her mouth. The woman put her fingers inside
>of her again but now she increased the speed and deep of her thrusts,
Ami: Speed and Deep? you mean, Speed and depth?
>and rampaged waves of pleasure started to run over Mina's body
>and inside of her brain.
Graham: Does that mean that the waves of pleasure appeared in Rampage?
Tim: O, beautiful, for rounded thighs, rampaged waves of pleasure and pain... Rosey mountain majesties, the bliss of driving Mina insane...
All: HENTAI FIC, HENTAI FIC, WORTH EV'RY THRUST AND LICK, YES CROWN THY FUN WITH PERVERSION, FROM FIC TO DIRTY FIC!
>Mina bit the clit of hers with her lips
Ami: Tim, don't even comment on our flexibility again!
Tim: (snaps fingers)
>and caressed it hard with her tongue. The woman's body started to
>go out of control. The other hand of her reached for Mina's breasts
>and grabbed them hard, marking her fingers in the delicate skin of
>them.
Ami: Except for the "them" at the end, that one was almost understandable!
>Mina yelled for the pain.
Tim: Hmm, lovely, Mina's a masochist...
>"Not so fast, do it slow..." the voice said.
Graham: For the longer we Go, the producer shall give us more dough!
>Mina then continued but she did it now slower and she was crying for
>the pain.
Ami: More, bring me whips, bring me chains, and don't you dare forget the nipple clamps!
(Tim and Graham stare at her for a few seconds)
Graham: A closet hentai.
Tim: Well, I, for one, am not surprised.
>Now the fingers were inside of her until the third knuckles and were
>also curled upward, exploring her inside of her cunt.
Tim: My god, I think I've found the lost city of El Dorado!
>"You're getting wet... Umm, and that tastes good..."
>the woman said and she licking her tongue inside of her mouth,
Graham: Licking your own tounge isn't that hard. Just flip it around and lick.
>tasting Mina's honey. "Don't... uh... said uuh!.. things... like that,
>please... Oh my... I..." "You like it, isn't it?" "Please... don't... Ah!!".
Ami: This woman seems to have two personalities as well...
>The woman started to moan, Mina had realized that she have to
>make her come, so she can rest a little for all this.
Graham: Yeah, It's so damn tiring to participate in your own rape...
>She had started to flick the clit harder and to tugged it with her teeth
>clenched to it. The woman body started to spasm and went on a
>frenetic movement. She closed even more her grasp on Mina's breast
Graham: Isn't Frenetic a mode of heating?
>causing her even more pain but Mina continued. "You brat... ah
>ah... my...
Tim: Goddess?
Graham: Which one?
Tim: The one that is mine.
Graham: But which one is that?
Tim: The one that is that one. (Graham sighs and gives up)
>I'm cumming!!!".
Graham: And I'M going!
>Mina felt her chin and lips soaked of the juices of the woman and
>that they were falling on the bed. She noticed also that the woman
>fell on her side.
>She heard her gasping and breathing hard. Mina was also gasping for
>some air and she was calming down slowly, but again
>the voice scared her. "You, you made me cum! now I'll teach you!".
Ami: Long division?
Graham: How to write an understandable fanfic?
Tim: Or maybe how to do an "Oral" Report for "French" class...
Ami: You two are the two biggest hentai I have known!
Graham: Other than yourself you mean.
Tim: Yeah, We'll probably be getting complaints from the cleaning crew again.
>Despite that she couldn't see, she felt that the woman was very
>upset. Mina felt that she left the bed and the room.
Ami: So Mina's Psychic?
>All was in silence for a long time and then she tried to stand up but
>she fell on the floor.
Tim: You see, that sort of thing happens when you're exhausted, AND your legs are tied together.
>She tried to stand up again but then a hard grasp took her by her
>blond hair, and another took her by the rope that tied her hands.
Graham: Well, isn't THIS a hair raising turn of events?
Ami: Groan!!!!
>"So, you tried to escape, didn't you?" "Please, untie me..."
>she begged. "We haven't finished yet... As I said, I have to show you
>some discipline...". Then the woman threw her again over the bed but
Tim: This kid either has a thing about chucking Mina over things, or a very bad grasp of english. I vote both.
>this time face downward and she put a pillow under Mina's mound so
>her bottom raised in the air.
>Again the hands of Mina fought to get free but the knots seemed even
Ami: Mina's hands are acting seperately from Mina.
Graham: Maybe because Andrew had her hands cut off earlier?
>harder. "Now I'll show you how to obey..." the voice sounded
>menacing. The tongue returned to its duty
Tim: As it had several more months before it got shore leave.
>of caress her in her cunt put this time it wasn't licking.
Ami: What, is it doing Mina's taxes?
>It seemed like the woman was soaking her cunt. Mina tried to move
>but the hands of the woman took her over her knees. Mina began to
>moan and cry.
All: Moanin', Moanin', Moanin' for the pleasure...
>The pleasure was taking her again and her body was spasming.
Graham: First Mina and Pleasure went to mount Rushmore, then to the black mountains, and then the marraige took place in a small chapel on the outskirts of vegas.
>Seeing this the woman sit over Mina's legs, pinning them down
>completely. Her legs were closed now and this made Mina's cunt
>tighter. She felt something cold in her outer lips, something round
>but in some way sharp-pointed. She realized what it was.
Tim: Lesse It could be a needle, a pen, a bullet, a Buster Rifle barrel, or even the abstract and almost impossible possibility of it being...
>A dildo.
Tim: EXACTLY!
>She began to shout "NO PLEASE, DON'T USE THAT!".
Ami: Like the woman has listened to ANYTHING Mina has said this entire fic?
>The woman started to run it up and down of her pussy lips.
>"Why not? UH?" "..." "What? No answer?
Graham: No, because you must phrase it in the form of a question.
>Well, I think there's no problem in using this then..." and
>then she thrusted it inside of her and turned it on. The dildo
>started to caress the inner walls of Mina's cunt with its vibration
Tim: I am so tempted to sing Beach boys right now...
Graham: What, California Girls?
Tim: Yeah, sure...
>and the in-out motion of the woman was increasing the sensation.
Graham: No, I know! 409!
Tim: Just give up Graham...
>The free hand of the woman was squeezing Mina's ass helping to
>the sex build up in Mina's brain.
Tim: Okay, we can start construction of the sixty ninth story of sex tower now...
>Mina bit her lower lip to avoid herself to shout. Little moans escaped
>through her teeth and her warm tears were falling over her now red
>cheeks. She couldn't hold it and a large scream came from inside of
>her and she started to gasp for some air.
Ami: Like air's a rarity...
>Then the motion got slow. Strangely this made Mina to get upset. She
>was surprised, but she was liking this.
Graham: However, nobody ELSE was surprised at all...
>"So, do you like it, uh?" and then woman stopped completely
>"You have to beg for it then...". Mina was crying, her mind wanted
>this to stop but her body wanted more.
Tim: Oh, like cops and doughnuts?
>Now the woman turned off the dildo. The sensation was finishing.
Graham: FINISH HER!
Ami: Do us a favor and end this fic while you are at it.
>Mina couldn't help it and she muttered "Please, I wanted it,
>please...".
>The woman reached for behind for Mina's breasts and started to play
>with her nipples, squeezing and tugging them and she added "What do
>you say? I can't hear you..." "Please..." "Uh?" "PLEASE, I WANTED
>IT!!"
Graham: So let us review the events so far. Mina is thrown over a bed, flickered and lickered, rampaged waves of pleasure were in her brain, then started building, and now Mina wants something.
Tim: The sad thing is, that actually sums up most all of the fic.
>"So you'll get it... little lecher..." the woman started all over again.
Tim: IF YOU START THIS FIC OVER, I SWEAR I WILL GET REVENGE!!!!
Graham: OW! MY EARDRUM!
>She introduced the dildo even deeper in Mina's pussy. Mina was in
Ami: Mina, Dildo. Dildo, Mina.
>sort way happy for this,
>the ache between her legs was calming down.
Graham: The ache having just taken a large dose of ritalin.
>Mina tried to open her legs but the woman didn't let her to do that.
>The moans and groans of Mina increased. She took Mina by her blond
>hair and pulled it toward her, almost lifting her.
Tim: I wonder if that was an uplifting experience for her?
>Mina cried for the pain and the pleasure.
Ami: This "crying for" bit is getting repetitive.
>Her juices ran over the dildo and the fingers of the woman, falling in
>tiny drops over the sheet of the bed.
Ami: Oh great, now she has to do the laundry!
>"You're ready, arent't you?". "Uh huh... I..." Mina stuttered.
>The woman then pushed the dildo all into Mina, making her to
>scream out and louder "AH! I"M CUMMING!! AHH AHHH!!".
Graham: Huh? Come again? I didn't quite hear what you said.
>The woman took off the dildo very slowly, making her body to
>spasm even more. She licked it and tasted every single drops of
>Mina's honey.
Tim: How Mina got a bee's nest in her Kootch, nobody will ever know.
>She stood up of the bed and left her over there. Mina was whimpering.
>"Please... free me, let me go..." she begged.
>No answer.
Graham: yeah, like the rapist would just let her go when she asked...
> She tried to move but her body was hurting her bad and she couldn't
> move even her legs.
Ami: Mina's body must like hurting itself.
>Hardly she turned around and finished lying on her side.
>"Please..." she muttered again. All was in silence. She cried herself to
>sleep......"How much hours had passed?" Mina thought.
Tim: CRAPPPY SCENE BREAK TWO!
>She felt her thighs soaked of her own juices. She finally woke up but
>she continued to be tied and without seeing anything.
>She felt someone moving on her side and sitting on the bed. She
>realized that the woman had slept on her side.
>The woman helped Mina to sit over the bed too, with her legs
>folded under her. Mina felt that the piece of fabric that covered her
>eyes was been removed and that her hands were been untied. Her
>eyes were hit by the light of the sun that entered through the
>curtains of the window and they took their time to get used to it.
Graham: Yeah, eyes, always so insensitive to the person whose head they're in!
>She then looked for her raptor
Ami: Like the dinosaur?
Tim: I see no Raptors, but there're a few Campys.
>and she saw that the woman was Amy
Ami: WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (continues for a while) AAAAT?
Graham: Ahem, "and she saw that the woman was Amy".
>and that she was transformed into Sailor Mercury and that she was
>in Amy's house....Mina was very surprised to see Amy but then she
Tim: Hold it, Mina was Mercury? The author really screwed up on the phrasing there...
>realized all and she started to scold her "Amy! we have to stop
>playing like this!" "But you liked it, didn't you Mina?" "Yes, but
>that's not the point!"
Tim: Ladies and Gents, PLOT POINT NUMBER TWO AND FINAL POINT AS WELL!
>"Well, I'm sorry if I was mean to you..." "Mean? You weren't mean,
>you acted like a completely sadist!" "Oh, I'm very sorry...". Mina
Ami: Not exactly. I didn't put her in a whole lot of physical pain. I might've acted like a dominatrix, with a little degration throw in, but not Sadism. oh, and "complete sadist"
>tried to show her angry but she ended giggling and laughing "Oh Amy,
>it's okay..." she said as she kissed her
Graham: "Her anger."
>"But we have to think in other ways of foreplay..."
Tim: For example: Actually having foreplay, instead of skipping directly to the sex.
Ami: Wait, she knew it was me the entire time?
Tim: Uh-huh. Damn stupid plot, don't you agree?
>"Well, I think so..." Amy said as she transformed herself from Sailor
>Mercury to Amy. Mina looked her breasts with Amy's fingers clearly
>marked over them
>"You have to control yourself Amy, look what you did this time..."
>"Oh, I'm sorry for that too but..." then Mina remembered something
>and she looked for it over the bed and the floor.
>She found it over the sheet. She showed the dildo to Amy. "Where do
Graham: Everything in this fic loves to float in midair!
>you get this?" she asked, waving it in the face of Amy.
Ami: How should I know? It was a mail orde... Nevermind.
>"Oh, well, you see, I was in the center with Serena and we passed by a
>sex shop.
Tim: Passed by, HAH!
>At first I don't care but...well...I returned in the afternoon I don't
>know why and then I saw it and I decided to buy it and then I
>bought it because I thought that we can have some fun with it ..."
>she answered a little embarrased,
Graham: Why the hell would you be embarrassed about buying a dildo after doing every other degrading thing to her you could think of?
Tim: Speaking of which, Ami, you need to increase your hentai database. there wasn't that much variety in the fic.
>"You bought it?!?
Ami: I believe I just told you that!
>Amy, are you feeling good?" Mina teased her "OH Mina...". Now
>Amy scolded Mina. "Hey, I remembered! Why do you get late to
>where we decided to meet?" "Oh, I didn't noticed about the time
>cause I was in the arc.... ups!
Tim: Great, almost the entire way through the damn fic and she gets the hiccups. Hope we dun gotta do this over...
>I mean I was cleaning my house..." Mina said looking Amy with a
>funny face "WHAT? YOU WERE IN THE ARCADES!?" Amy
>sounded very angry "So, a game is more important to you that me..."
Graham: Okay, stupider lines in the end than in the beggining!
>"Hey, I didn't mean that!" "Not with words but with yours actions..."
>Mina didn't want to continue fighting with her and she put her hands
>over Amy's shoulders. Amy was showing Mina her back and her arms
>were crossed over her chest.
Tim: After "raping" Mina, she's gonna play hard to get?
>Mina kissed her softly behind her ear and whispered to her "Amy,
>I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to be late, but..., well I'm sorry, you
>know that I care too much for you...". "I know..." Amy answered
>finally.
>She turned around and hit Mina in her head softly with her knuckles,
Tim: In the head with the knuckles cannot be described as softly.
>but she hit her in her head's bruise.
Ami: I almost forgot that I brained her to "rape" her.
Tim: That brings up another point. How the HELL did you drag Mina to your house without getting stared at or arrested?
>"AUCHH!... wait! I remembered it...
>Why did you hit me?!"
>"Oh... well, uh..."
Graham: Because it's that time of the month?
>"well I'm waiting..." Mina now sounded angry. "Well, cause you
>were late I thought a little and I decided to change a little what we
>planned..." "A little? You changed all!" "... and I decided to give you
>a little scare..." "Yes? well, you have to practice you laugh then... "
>"Oh, you knew it all the time..." "Well, not until the end...".
Ami: Note to self: Make sure friends are not psychotic when I return to Tokyo.
>They stayed in silence for a short moment and then both of them
>stared at each other and started to laugh.
Tim: Why the hell are you laughing Ami?
Ami: I don't know! Ask fanfic me! She's the one acting horribly OOC!
Graham: I'm not so sure about the one we have either...
>They hugged and kissed and Mina pushed her body over Amy
>putting her over the bed. Amy asked "And what are we going to do
>now?" "Well, now it's my time to play with you, I mean to punish
>you..."
Tim: Revenge is a dish best served cold, especially with ice cream.
>Amy giggled and turned around showing again her back to Mina
>and she added "Well then, tie my hands... and make me learn how to
>beg...".
Tim: Can I be an audience participent? I'm an expert with the whip!
>Mina giggled and kissed her in her nape as she tied her hands very
>tight...
>THE END!!!
Ami: Awww... I don't get to watch myself in the submissive position...
Graham: Are you saying you LIKED that fic?
Ami: Huh? Oh, no way, absolutely not, nope, uh-uh, not at all, well, just a little.
*******************************************************
>I hope that you, the one who read this story, had enjoyed it. If you
>have any comment/blame/praise e-mail me at a961105n@pucp.edu.
Tim: First two, yes, last one no.
(Outer room)
Ami: Well, I'd better get going, to see is my friends have gone completely psychotic or not!
Tim: Oh well. This fic didn't really have any saving graces. Mainly because it had a total of two plot points. One halfway, and the other at the end. Add to that the bad grammar, and you got yourself a thouroughly incomprehensible fic.
Graham: What he said
Tim: And we, are outta here! (signal end)
END
>"Well, I'm sorry if I was mean to you..." "Mean? You weren't mean,
>you acted like a completely sadist!" "Oh, I'm very sorry..."
Send Emial to me at Ktnablade@aol.com
or Graham at Gmantis14@aol.com
Or Max at ThisAddressDoesNotExist@aol.com
Comments appreciated, flames laughed at.
---
Emails still dead. Use the forum for feedback.
------------
Mordancy Sarcasm Theater 4000
By Tim Jewett
All belongs to whom it belongs to. Also, please don't sue me. Thank you
In the not too distant future...
(Tim pops up and blasts the opening sequence with a missile)
Tim: Let's get on with it, shall we?
(Satellite of Lust, three minutes after the end of that REALLY funny show, you know, THAT show!)
Graham: So Tim, what's on the agenda today?
Tim: (Reading a book) The usual. We get sent a fic, we tear it a few new assholes, and then we make the satellite live up to its name
Graham: AGAIN? We did that LAST week!
Tim: Yeah, but we have a sailor moon lemon this time and a Sailor Moon guest star.
(Mizuno Ami appears out of the guestway express)
Ami: Am I late? Have the lectures, already be- Hey, this isn't the quantum physics lecture hall!
Tim: (sticking in a bookmark and slapping the book closed) No, it's the Quantum physics demonstration hall. I assume you're gonna be our guest MST'er today? Artlu was really iffy on the details.
Graham: On purpose, no doubt.
Ami: MST? I think I've heard of that. Isn't that where they take bad movies and make fun of them for two hours?
Tim: Pretty much, except we're doing fanfics instead.
Graham: And the ONLY word you got about today's is that it's a Sailor Moon lemon?
Tim: Yep. Artlu said he didn't want to "spoil the surprise". He assured me it wasn't an Oscarfic though.
Graham and Ami: Thank god!
Tim: By the way, I'm Tim, He's Graham. And looking at the time, it looks like he's gonna skip the exchange today... Ohbewellven.
(Klaxons wail)
Tim: I WAS RIGHT!
(The hurry into the Theatre, the doors a mass of rubble after Tim had to read Phoneography last time)
>Sailor Moon and all the relatives characters and names are propertie
>of Naoko Takeuchi, Bandai, DIC, Kodansha and also to a lot of
>people that I don't know, so please don't sue me.
Tim: Now what'll I do saturday?
>This story is hentai, so if you read it, you do it under you own
>risk.
Ami: Hentai? (She starts to nosebleed slghtly)
Tim: Makoto told us you liked them. Don't try and hide it.
Graham: Still waters do run deepest.
>Any comment or blame is welcome.
Tim: (Grins, somewhat sadistically)
>You can e-mail me at a961105n@pucp.edu.pe
>Now on the story...
All: On Dasher, Dancer, Prancer and Blitzen!
>******************************************************
>GAMES
>by
>Artemis
Tim: What games, the US opens?
>"Come on, come on...Oh not... oh, not again!!" Mina cried
Ami: Six seconds into the story and I'm confused already!
Tim: I've read this before. Trust me, you'll be a lot more confused before the night's over.
>and smashed her closed hand over the arcade.
Graham: If she can fit her entire hand over the arcade, she must've grown a lot.
Tim: Attack of the fifty foot Mina!
>The screen showed "GAME OVER" in red letters and an annoying
>music came out of the arcade.
Ami: She shouldn't be wasting her time with video games.
Graham: You're one to talk, Ms AD&D, and addicted to pokemon...
Ami: How'd you know that?
Tim: We didn't, we're good guessers, now back to the fic!
>She was playing Sailor V. "How ironic is this, I can beat this
>game..." she said.
Ami: You mean "CAN'T beat"
Tim: How Ironic is it? Well, It's like ra-ain, on your wedding day. Also, like a free ride, when you've already paid...
Graham: That's enough of that "hit" song that was about a word that the singer couldn't even accurately define.
Ami: Isn't it Ironic?
Tim: Dontcha think?
Graham: Not if I can help it, no. (rimshot)
>Andrew laughed behind her. "Ha Mina!, what? Can't
>you beat it?" "Oh, yes, I can't beat this silly game" "Why don't try
>it again?" "Well, I think so...".
Ami: Has Andrew started talking to himself?
Tim: No, Meet Annie, Andrew's roommate in his body.
>She was putting another quarter in the machine when suddenly the
>alarm of her watch started to ring,
Graham: Go go, power senshi...
Tim: Out of curiosity, have you ever been buzzed and called by your codenames at school?
Ami: A few times yes... Hey, wait, how did you know that I'm...
Tim: We have our sources.
Graham: Cartoon Network for one...
>"Oh, it's too late!!", she stood up and ran toward the door "Bye
>Andrew, I have things to do..." "Bye Mina, see you soon" he said,
>waving her hand at her.
Ami: Ouch!
Graham: Was that for the spelling mistake or the fact that it implied a severed hand?
Tim: Yes.
>The door with the words "Crown Arcade" closed slowly behind her.
>Mina had a doubt in her head
Tim: It was right next to the nagging suspicion and mounting paranoia, which, unlike the single doubt, were abundant in stock.
>"Where she said that we'll meet? oh... where it was?... Ah! I
>remember!"
Graham: Is it just me, or does this fic sound like an old B movie?
Tim and Ami: B movie!
>and then she started to run toward the central park.
Tim: AWWW! Can't it be South Park? Then I can scream at Serena the, "Oh My God! You Killed Kenny!" bit.
>The streets for which she passed by were strangely empty,
>not a single person and there wasn't even a single sound.
Ami: I'll bet she was rigged for silent running...
Tim: Not bad. Hmmm, Maybe she was on the same streets Oscar frequented.
Graham: Speaking of which, how much did you finally squeeze out of him?
Ami: a One and Twenty Zeros. EACH, with double for Artemis.
>Even the birds were strangely in silence.
Graham: Did you say, THE BIRDS?
Tim: Or worse yet, Oscar?
Ami: Stop talking about him!
>She started to run even faster. "I'll be late... she'll be mad..." she
Tim: She'll be Late, Late, for a very important Date! Well, at least a very Hentai one...
Ami: Why doesn't that sound good for us, and why is my nose bleeding?
>thought and then she heard a strange noise behind her and that made
>her to turn around. Nothing was in there.
Graham: There being?
>Now Mina felt something again behind her.
Ami: It turned out to just be her clothes.
>Suddenly all turned foggy and cool.
Tim: What have we told you about having experiences with Mary Jane, Mina?
Graham: Yeah, and stop smoking weed, too.
>She turned around again
Ami: Well, her life is going in circles.
>and she thought that she saw a black shadow jumping out of her
>sight. She watched over all the street but she didn't see anything. A
>long laugh broke the silence. A strange laugh, almost false. "HA HA
>HA HA!!!
Tim: AHHH! KODACHI! KILL IT!!!!!!!! (whips out a double buster and his quad gatling, destroying several screens before calming down enough to continue.) Sorry, I just hate that laugh.
>I finally had found you!". "Who is in there?!?" She shouted. "Now
>I'll have you!!".
Graham: And your little dog too!
>"WHO IS IN THERE?!? SHOW YOURSELF!!" she shouted louder.
>Mina was reaching for her Power stick inside of her pocket
Tim: They dun keep 'em in their pockets, kiddo.
Ami: Yes, we keep them in our Backpacks.
Graham: Not always you don't...
(Ami Blushes and nosebleeds)
>when she felt that someone was behind her and she started to turn
>around
Ami: She must be trapped on one of those teacup rides in disneyworld!
>but something hit her in her head. All was starting to get black
>and she was falling to the ground. She felt that someone grabbed her
>and she heard that laugh again and then all went black...
Tim: And men with small dicks rejoiced.
Ami: (Nosebleed gets worse)
>... Mina woke up slowly but she couldn't see anything.
Tim: CRAPPY SCENE BREAK!
>She noticed that her hands were tied behind her back and that
>something covered her eyes.
>She felt herself naked and that she was also using large stockings
>that fit perfectly with her delicately rounded legs.
Graham: That just sounded wrong. Not really, Hentai, but just wrong.
Tim: Them rounded legs must be pretty fat if they perfectly fit large stockings.
>She felt scared and that feeling increased when someone grabbed her
>violently by her shoulders and threw her over something soft.
Ami: Making her slam into something hard.
Tim: Between a rock and a hard thing.
Graham: Congrats Tim, you just made this fic at least twice as hentai.
Tim: I try.
>She realized that she was over a bed.
Ami: Exorcist remake, take four.
>"What are you going to do?" she cried with tears filling her eyes.
Graham: well, we're going to do your nails, and give you a facial, and we have to do something about that hair of yours! Big red bows are SOOO eighties!
>"I said it to you... I'll have you..." the voice said,
Tim: You aleady have her.
>it was a soft voice. She felt that her legs were been forced to open
>and she tried to keep them closed but she couldn't.
All: (cock heads to the right trying to figure out what the hell that last section meant.)
>"No please, no!!" she cried. A warm tongue touched her in her ankle
Graham: So, the tongue is INSIDE her ankle?
Tim: Whoever is doing this to Mina must have a sharp tongue...
>through the nylon of the stocking and she felt that was starting to go
>toward her crotch. Mina moved herself trying to avoid it but that
>seemed to upset the person.
Ami: Hey, gimme a break! I mean I take the trouble to kidnap you and all you can do is be ungrateful, jeesh!
>She felt that she was been taking by her thighs and that stopped her.
Tim: Her thought process?
>"Please... don't..." she cried. She felt the warm tongue now over her
>pussy, licking it up and down on her outer lips. She turned her head to
>one side. The hands of that person separated her outer lips and
>the tongue shot itself toward her clit, flickering it and lickering it
>in small circles.
Ami: Flickering? Lickering? Those sound like electrical problems.
>"AHH!.. no... please.. AHH!.. please stop..." she muttered between
>her hipcups.
Graham: What the hell is a hipcup?
Tim: Either a mispelled Hiccup, or a device designed to hold the hips up, like a bra cup.
>But the person bit her clit softly and pulled it with its teeth.
Ami: A clit with Teeth?
>A scream came from Mina, her hands tried to get free but
>the knots were firm amd hard. "No, please don't do this to me...".
>The tongue started to dart inside of her cunt causing her to moan
>with every single touch of it over her pussy. Mina tried to control
>herself but the sensation was taking control of her. A finger
>replaced the tongue and it was licking its way toward her breasts.
Ami: A FINGER WITH A TONGUE?
Graham: Oh, no, it is the licking finger? What, have we, done.
Tim: Cover your chest so it can't... lick? your, nipples? hmm, the clit with teeth and the finger with a tongue. B movie gives this fic too much credit!
>The tongue reached them and licked them in big circles but never
>touched the nipples. Mina was crying for what was happening.
Tim: Crying BECAUSE of, or Crying because she LIKED what was happening?
>Another finger entered inside of her and both of them increased their
>motion. the other hand grabbed her right nipple and tugged it hard
>making her to cry louder. The tongue was now looking for her
>mouth but she clenched her teeth. The fingers went more deep
>inside of her and she released a big scream.
Tim: Big Scream. Brought to you once again by Bignoise Inc.
>The tongue then got inside of her mouth and played with her own.
>Her tears were now falling over her cheeks. Mina noticed that the body
>was getting over her and that her own legs were wrapped around the
>waist of that person. She prepared herself for the worst.
Ami: Being the subject of an Oscar written fic?
>"NO PLEASE, DON'T DO IT!!" she cried out of control. The
Tim: Well, I admit Oscarfic placement is a pretty horrible thing...
>fingers got out of her pussy and the person
Graham: Those fingers get out a lot.
Tim: Always at the hottest night clubs in town...
>ran them very slowly over her mound, her stomach, the channel
>between her breasts, her chin and were now on her mouth. The voice
>demanded "lick yourself, lick your own juices!!".
Tim: Whoa, I knew you scouts were flexible, but I didn't know you were THAT flexible!
Ami: Uhhh, Ummm... (blushes)
>She felt her own juices over the fingers and she noticed that the
>person was using gloves, but they seemed made of some sort of soft
>material.
Graham: Say... cat fur?
Tim: OR maybe velvet, latex, properly treated leather, cotton, silk, cetain kinds of wool, chincilla fur. the list goes on. Be more specific next time.
>The person was crawling over her and now the voice demanded
>"Now you little bitch, LICK ME!!".
Tim: Hey, Mina's not a dog!
Graham: Yeah, she's a fox!
Tim: She's gotta be on the lookout for them wolves out there.
Ami: Enough of the dog jokes.
Tim: Hey, you shoulda seen the time we kept doing those "moon" jokes...
>She felt that the person had gone in a "69" style. "LICK ME!!" the
>voice repeated.
Ami: For those who missed it beforehand: "Lick me".
>She got surprised when she put her mouth over the person's crotch.
>It was a WOMAN!.
Tim: I give you THE FIRST PLOT POINT OF THE FIC!
>The woman started to moan when Mina put her tongue over
>her pussy. "Good, oh, you make it good!!",
Ami: Okay, this woman apparently has erogenous zones that extend beyond her body.
>then the woman put her hands on Mina's thighs, squeezing them
>softly
Graham: Aww, she's deforming those "perfectly rounded legs"
>and licking them downward her pussy.
Tim: Is that shorthand, or is the author just plain messed?
Graham: Hmm, messed.
>Mina stopped to ask, almost crying, "Why? Why do you this to me?"
Ami: Yoda apparently wrote the script dub for this fic.
Tim: Hey, how dare you insult Yoda by comparing him to this fic!
>"I liked you since the first time that I saw you and I want you all for
>me, no one deserve to have you, except me... and now LICK ME!!"
Tim: That was DISTURBINGLY similiar to the letter Oscar wrote Artemis...
>and saying this the woman slapped her in her thighs making her cry.
Graham: She slapped her on the inside! More deformations of those rounded legs!
>Mina only could continue with this,
Ami: Well, no DUH!
>she thrusted her tongue inside of the woman, licking the honey of
>her, falling inside of her mouth. The woman put her fingers inside
>of her again but now she increased the speed and deep of her thrusts,
Ami: Speed and Deep? you mean, Speed and depth?
>and rampaged waves of pleasure started to run over Mina's body
>and inside of her brain.
Graham: Does that mean that the waves of pleasure appeared in Rampage?
Tim: O, beautiful, for rounded thighs, rampaged waves of pleasure and pain... Rosey mountain majesties, the bliss of driving Mina insane...
All: HENTAI FIC, HENTAI FIC, WORTH EV'RY THRUST AND LICK, YES CROWN THY FUN WITH PERVERSION, FROM FIC TO DIRTY FIC!
>Mina bit the clit of hers with her lips
Ami: Tim, don't even comment on our flexibility again!
Tim: (snaps fingers)
>and caressed it hard with her tongue. The woman's body started to
>go out of control. The other hand of her reached for Mina's breasts
>and grabbed them hard, marking her fingers in the delicate skin of
>them.
Ami: Except for the "them" at the end, that one was almost understandable!
>Mina yelled for the pain.
Tim: Hmm, lovely, Mina's a masochist...
>"Not so fast, do it slow..." the voice said.
Graham: For the longer we Go, the producer shall give us more dough!
>Mina then continued but she did it now slower and she was crying for
>the pain.
Ami: More, bring me whips, bring me chains, and don't you dare forget the nipple clamps!
(Tim and Graham stare at her for a few seconds)
Graham: A closet hentai.
Tim: Well, I, for one, am not surprised.
>Now the fingers were inside of her until the third knuckles and were
>also curled upward, exploring her inside of her cunt.
Tim: My god, I think I've found the lost city of El Dorado!
>"You're getting wet... Umm, and that tastes good..."
>the woman said and she licking her tongue inside of her mouth,
Graham: Licking your own tounge isn't that hard. Just flip it around and lick.
>tasting Mina's honey. "Don't... uh... said uuh!.. things... like that,
>please... Oh my... I..." "You like it, isn't it?" "Please... don't... Ah!!".
Ami: This woman seems to have two personalities as well...
>The woman started to moan, Mina had realized that she have to
>make her come, so she can rest a little for all this.
Graham: Yeah, It's so damn tiring to participate in your own rape...
>She had started to flick the clit harder and to tugged it with her teeth
>clenched to it. The woman body started to spasm and went on a
>frenetic movement. She closed even more her grasp on Mina's breast
Graham: Isn't Frenetic a mode of heating?
>causing her even more pain but Mina continued. "You brat... ah
>ah... my...
Tim: Goddess?
Graham: Which one?
Tim: The one that is mine.
Graham: But which one is that?
Tim: The one that is that one. (Graham sighs and gives up)
>I'm cumming!!!".
Graham: And I'M going!
>Mina felt her chin and lips soaked of the juices of the woman and
>that they were falling on the bed. She noticed also that the woman
>fell on her side.
>She heard her gasping and breathing hard. Mina was also gasping for
>some air and she was calming down slowly, but again
>the voice scared her. "You, you made me cum! now I'll teach you!".
Ami: Long division?
Graham: How to write an understandable fanfic?
Tim: Or maybe how to do an "Oral" Report for "French" class...
Ami: You two are the two biggest hentai I have known!
Graham: Other than yourself you mean.
Tim: Yeah, We'll probably be getting complaints from the cleaning crew again.
>Despite that she couldn't see, she felt that the woman was very
>upset. Mina felt that she left the bed and the room.
Ami: So Mina's Psychic?
>All was in silence for a long time and then she tried to stand up but
>she fell on the floor.
Tim: You see, that sort of thing happens when you're exhausted, AND your legs are tied together.
>She tried to stand up again but then a hard grasp took her by her
>blond hair, and another took her by the rope that tied her hands.
Graham: Well, isn't THIS a hair raising turn of events?
Ami: Groan!!!!
>"So, you tried to escape, didn't you?" "Please, untie me..."
>she begged. "We haven't finished yet... As I said, I have to show you
>some discipline...". Then the woman threw her again over the bed but
Tim: This kid either has a thing about chucking Mina over things, or a very bad grasp of english. I vote both.
>this time face downward and she put a pillow under Mina's mound so
>her bottom raised in the air.
>Again the hands of Mina fought to get free but the knots seemed even
Ami: Mina's hands are acting seperately from Mina.
Graham: Maybe because Andrew had her hands cut off earlier?
>harder. "Now I'll show you how to obey..." the voice sounded
>menacing. The tongue returned to its duty
Tim: As it had several more months before it got shore leave.
>of caress her in her cunt put this time it wasn't licking.
Ami: What, is it doing Mina's taxes?
>It seemed like the woman was soaking her cunt. Mina tried to move
>but the hands of the woman took her over her knees. Mina began to
>moan and cry.
All: Moanin', Moanin', Moanin' for the pleasure...
>The pleasure was taking her again and her body was spasming.
Graham: First Mina and Pleasure went to mount Rushmore, then to the black mountains, and then the marraige took place in a small chapel on the outskirts of vegas.
>Seeing this the woman sit over Mina's legs, pinning them down
>completely. Her legs were closed now and this made Mina's cunt
>tighter. She felt something cold in her outer lips, something round
>but in some way sharp-pointed. She realized what it was.
Tim: Lesse It could be a needle, a pen, a bullet, a Buster Rifle barrel, or even the abstract and almost impossible possibility of it being...
>A dildo.
Tim: EXACTLY!
>She began to shout "NO PLEASE, DON'T USE THAT!".
Ami: Like the woman has listened to ANYTHING Mina has said this entire fic?
>The woman started to run it up and down of her pussy lips.
>"Why not? UH?" "..." "What? No answer?
Graham: No, because you must phrase it in the form of a question.
>Well, I think there's no problem in using this then..." and
>then she thrusted it inside of her and turned it on. The dildo
>started to caress the inner walls of Mina's cunt with its vibration
Tim: I am so tempted to sing Beach boys right now...
Graham: What, California Girls?
Tim: Yeah, sure...
>and the in-out motion of the woman was increasing the sensation.
Graham: No, I know! 409!
Tim: Just give up Graham...
>The free hand of the woman was squeezing Mina's ass helping to
>the sex build up in Mina's brain.
Tim: Okay, we can start construction of the sixty ninth story of sex tower now...
>Mina bit her lower lip to avoid herself to shout. Little moans escaped
>through her teeth and her warm tears were falling over her now red
>cheeks. She couldn't hold it and a large scream came from inside of
>her and she started to gasp for some air.
Ami: Like air's a rarity...
>Then the motion got slow. Strangely this made Mina to get upset. She
>was surprised, but she was liking this.
Graham: However, nobody ELSE was surprised at all...
>"So, do you like it, uh?" and then woman stopped completely
>"You have to beg for it then...". Mina was crying, her mind wanted
>this to stop but her body wanted more.
Tim: Oh, like cops and doughnuts?
>Now the woman turned off the dildo. The sensation was finishing.
Graham: FINISH HER!
Ami: Do us a favor and end this fic while you are at it.
>Mina couldn't help it and she muttered "Please, I wanted it,
>please...".
>The woman reached for behind for Mina's breasts and started to play
>with her nipples, squeezing and tugging them and she added "What do
>you say? I can't hear you..." "Please..." "Uh?" "PLEASE, I WANTED
>IT!!"
Graham: So let us review the events so far. Mina is thrown over a bed, flickered and lickered, rampaged waves of pleasure were in her brain, then started building, and now Mina wants something.
Tim: The sad thing is, that actually sums up most all of the fic.
>"So you'll get it... little lecher..." the woman started all over again.
Tim: IF YOU START THIS FIC OVER, I SWEAR I WILL GET REVENGE!!!!
Graham: OW! MY EARDRUM!
>She introduced the dildo even deeper in Mina's pussy. Mina was in
Ami: Mina, Dildo. Dildo, Mina.
>sort way happy for this,
>the ache between her legs was calming down.
Graham: The ache having just taken a large dose of ritalin.
>Mina tried to open her legs but the woman didn't let her to do that.
>The moans and groans of Mina increased. She took Mina by her blond
>hair and pulled it toward her, almost lifting her.
Tim: I wonder if that was an uplifting experience for her?
>Mina cried for the pain and the pleasure.
Ami: This "crying for" bit is getting repetitive.
>Her juices ran over the dildo and the fingers of the woman, falling in
>tiny drops over the sheet of the bed.
Ami: Oh great, now she has to do the laundry!
>"You're ready, arent't you?". "Uh huh... I..." Mina stuttered.
>The woman then pushed the dildo all into Mina, making her to
>scream out and louder "AH! I"M CUMMING!! AHH AHHH!!".
Graham: Huh? Come again? I didn't quite hear what you said.
>The woman took off the dildo very slowly, making her body to
>spasm even more. She licked it and tasted every single drops of
>Mina's honey.
Tim: How Mina got a bee's nest in her Kootch, nobody will ever know.
>She stood up of the bed and left her over there. Mina was whimpering.
>"Please... free me, let me go..." she begged.
>No answer.
Graham: yeah, like the rapist would just let her go when she asked...
> She tried to move but her body was hurting her bad and she couldn't
> move even her legs.
Ami: Mina's body must like hurting itself.
>Hardly she turned around and finished lying on her side.
>"Please..." she muttered again. All was in silence. She cried herself to
>sleep......"How much hours had passed?" Mina thought.
Tim: CRAPPPY SCENE BREAK TWO!
>She felt her thighs soaked of her own juices. She finally woke up but
>she continued to be tied and without seeing anything.
>She felt someone moving on her side and sitting on the bed. She
>realized that the woman had slept on her side.
>The woman helped Mina to sit over the bed too, with her legs
>folded under her. Mina felt that the piece of fabric that covered her
>eyes was been removed and that her hands were been untied. Her
>eyes were hit by the light of the sun that entered through the
>curtains of the window and they took their time to get used to it.
Graham: Yeah, eyes, always so insensitive to the person whose head they're in!
>She then looked for her raptor
Ami: Like the dinosaur?
Tim: I see no Raptors, but there're a few Campys.
>and she saw that the woman was Amy
Ami: WHHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA (continues for a while) AAAAT?
Graham: Ahem, "and she saw that the woman was Amy".
>and that she was transformed into Sailor Mercury and that she was
>in Amy's house....Mina was very surprised to see Amy but then she
Tim: Hold it, Mina was Mercury? The author really screwed up on the phrasing there...
>realized all and she started to scold her "Amy! we have to stop
>playing like this!" "But you liked it, didn't you Mina?" "Yes, but
>that's not the point!"
Tim: Ladies and Gents, PLOT POINT NUMBER TWO AND FINAL POINT AS WELL!
>"Well, I'm sorry if I was mean to you..." "Mean? You weren't mean,
>you acted like a completely sadist!" "Oh, I'm very sorry...". Mina
Ami: Not exactly. I didn't put her in a whole lot of physical pain. I might've acted like a dominatrix, with a little degration throw in, but not Sadism. oh, and "complete sadist"
>tried to show her angry but she ended giggling and laughing "Oh Amy,
>it's okay..." she said as she kissed her
Graham: "Her anger."
>"But we have to think in other ways of foreplay..."
Tim: For example: Actually having foreplay, instead of skipping directly to the sex.
Ami: Wait, she knew it was me the entire time?
Tim: Uh-huh. Damn stupid plot, don't you agree?
>"Well, I think so..." Amy said as she transformed herself from Sailor
>Mercury to Amy. Mina looked her breasts with Amy's fingers clearly
>marked over them
>"You have to control yourself Amy, look what you did this time..."
>"Oh, I'm sorry for that too but..." then Mina remembered something
>and she looked for it over the bed and the floor.
>She found it over the sheet. She showed the dildo to Amy. "Where do
Graham: Everything in this fic loves to float in midair!
>you get this?" she asked, waving it in the face of Amy.
Ami: How should I know? It was a mail orde... Nevermind.
>"Oh, well, you see, I was in the center with Serena and we passed by a
>sex shop.
Tim: Passed by, HAH!
>At first I don't care but...well...I returned in the afternoon I don't
>know why and then I saw it and I decided to buy it and then I
>bought it because I thought that we can have some fun with it ..."
>she answered a little embarrased,
Graham: Why the hell would you be embarrassed about buying a dildo after doing every other degrading thing to her you could think of?
Tim: Speaking of which, Ami, you need to increase your hentai database. there wasn't that much variety in the fic.
>"You bought it?!?
Ami: I believe I just told you that!
>Amy, are you feeling good?" Mina teased her "OH Mina...". Now
>Amy scolded Mina. "Hey, I remembered! Why do you get late to
>where we decided to meet?" "Oh, I didn't noticed about the time
>cause I was in the arc.... ups!
Tim: Great, almost the entire way through the damn fic and she gets the hiccups. Hope we dun gotta do this over...
>I mean I was cleaning my house..." Mina said looking Amy with a
>funny face "WHAT? YOU WERE IN THE ARCADES!?" Amy
>sounded very angry "So, a game is more important to you that me..."
Graham: Okay, stupider lines in the end than in the beggining!
>"Hey, I didn't mean that!" "Not with words but with yours actions..."
>Mina didn't want to continue fighting with her and she put her hands
>over Amy's shoulders. Amy was showing Mina her back and her arms
>were crossed over her chest.
Tim: After "raping" Mina, she's gonna play hard to get?
>Mina kissed her softly behind her ear and whispered to her "Amy,
>I'm very sorry, I didn't mean to be late, but..., well I'm sorry, you
>know that I care too much for you...". "I know..." Amy answered
>finally.
>She turned around and hit Mina in her head softly with her knuckles,
Tim: In the head with the knuckles cannot be described as softly.
>but she hit her in her head's bruise.
Ami: I almost forgot that I brained her to "rape" her.
Tim: That brings up another point. How the HELL did you drag Mina to your house without getting stared at or arrested?
>"AUCHH!... wait! I remembered it...
>Why did you hit me?!"
>"Oh... well, uh..."
Graham: Because it's that time of the month?
>"well I'm waiting..." Mina now sounded angry. "Well, cause you
>were late I thought a little and I decided to change a little what we
>planned..." "A little? You changed all!" "... and I decided to give you
>a little scare..." "Yes? well, you have to practice you laugh then... "
>"Oh, you knew it all the time..." "Well, not until the end...".
Ami: Note to self: Make sure friends are not psychotic when I return to Tokyo.
>They stayed in silence for a short moment and then both of them
>stared at each other and started to laugh.
Tim: Why the hell are you laughing Ami?
Ami: I don't know! Ask fanfic me! She's the one acting horribly OOC!
Graham: I'm not so sure about the one we have either...
>They hugged and kissed and Mina pushed her body over Amy
>putting her over the bed. Amy asked "And what are we going to do
>now?" "Well, now it's my time to play with you, I mean to punish
>you..."
Tim: Revenge is a dish best served cold, especially with ice cream.
>Amy giggled and turned around showing again her back to Mina
>and she added "Well then, tie my hands... and make me learn how to
>beg...".
Tim: Can I be an audience participent? I'm an expert with the whip!
>Mina giggled and kissed her in her nape as she tied her hands very
>tight...
>THE END!!!
Ami: Awww... I don't get to watch myself in the submissive position...
Graham: Are you saying you LIKED that fic?
Ami: Huh? Oh, no way, absolutely not, nope, uh-uh, not at all, well, just a little.
*******************************************************
>I hope that you, the one who read this story, had enjoyed it. If you
>have any comment/blame/praise e-mail me at a961105n@pucp.edu.
Tim: First two, yes, last one no.
(Outer room)
Ami: Well, I'd better get going, to see is my friends have gone completely psychotic or not!
Tim: Oh well. This fic didn't really have any saving graces. Mainly because it had a total of two plot points. One halfway, and the other at the end. Add to that the bad grammar, and you got yourself a thouroughly incomprehensible fic.
Graham: What he said
Tim: And we, are outta here! (signal end)
END
>"Well, I'm sorry if I was mean to you..." "Mean? You weren't mean,
>you acted like a completely sadist!" "Oh, I'm very sorry..."
Send Emial to me at Ktnablade@aol.com
or Graham at Gmantis14@aol.com
Or Max at ThisAddressDoesNotExist@aol.com
Comments appreciated, flames laughed at.
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