StarDestroyer.Net BBS

So, more of the same guy from MST4K ep1. You have been warned.
---

Tim Jewett 05/17/2001
Mordacy Sarcasm Theatre Four Thousand; Special Editions

In the not too distant future...
(Tim pops up and blast the opening sequence with a buster gun)
Tim: Let's get on with it, shall we?

(Satellite of Lust, on a bright sunny day in the middle of the night)

(Tim is in the recently installed room o' stuff, and is busy destroying everything in sight with most all sharp implements known to man, with plenty that don't exist as well. He walks out and into the main chamber)
Tim: well, that was pleasant... I've worked off my stress and resultant Psychotic urges for now...
Graham: Yo, Gray, I just got word that our fic for today is an Oscarfic!
(Tim marches right back into the Room o' stuff)

Several hours later...

Tim: Finally... worked off... the homcidal urges...
Graham: So, are you ready to MST?
Tim: Yeah, Grab Mark, wouldja? He's been bugging me to let him MST for awhiles now, and we might as well let him sit in on an Oscarfic
Mark: Hey! How'd I get here? I distinctly remember trying to bug you about letting me in on the MST ring, and now I'm here.
Tim: Shaddap, we're starting.

(Artlu's Place)
Artlu: Well, now, you finally got that ridiculous individual up here for a torture session... Have fun. You've been pre briefed as to the fact that it's an Oscarfic, so no major nasty surprises before the fic. Oh well, invention exchange?

(SOL)
Tim: Why not. This here's my Zero to less than system.
Artlu: Hasn't that already been done my Gundam?
Graham: Well... yes and no. It's the same principle as the zero system, but with a totally different usage.
Tim: It takes accumulated data and displays the most likely outcome on this screen here. it also has speakers for audio probabilities. It also doesn't need to be used for battles. Like, as an example, I've downloaded Mark's fics into the system. I set it to calculate the most probable outcome of the next few seconds... Here we go. I asked it to do it on a sheet of paper, as not to ruin the surprise.
Mark: Hey! Gimme that piece of paper! My fics don't stink!
Tim: (reading from sheet) It says "Mark will attempt to grab the papaer and claim that his fics don't stink." There you have it. What's yours?

(Artlu's Place)
Artlu: Just a nifty little device for all those drug companies out there... You know Tobacco, Booze, Crack, Mari-
Graham: The point?
Artlu: The point is, I've created a device for these companies. It removes all the dangerous substances from the drugs, while still keeping the addictive qualities and pleasant side effects intact! Limitless profit for the companies!
Tim: That is pretty devious. except for one fatal flaw.
Artlu: What?
Tim: Dangerous chemicals are added back in during the production. All you've made is a slower death, NOT limitless profit.
Artlu: I hate it when you do that. Have a fic on me... No, make that two...
(Klaxons wail and they enter the Theatre, trailing mark behind them)

Door 7:
Door 6:
Door 5:
Door 4:
Door 3:
Door 2:
Door 1:

Graham: Shouldn't we have a door sequence?
Tim: Hey, It's Oscar fics. I'm not expending any more budget than I have to. Besides, we've got Mark as a guest MST'er

>Sailormoon Z serie 1, episode 4 "That Girl"

Tim: Sailor Moon crossed with DBZ? Stupid, yet pointless.

>By

>Oscar "Artemis's Lover"

Tim: MST'd by; Tim "Oscar killer"
Graham: Graham "Plot avenger"
Mark: Mark "Supercool sorcerer extraordinare Madigan!"
(He gets punched by Tim)

>Author notes:

>It's been 1 year since the destruction of Kyomara.

Tim: I'm sure that would be important had I read your other crap.

>Chris returned to Canada, he graduated and he's now in college.

>Oscar now is 14, and Serena, Rei, Mina and the others are now 15.

Tim: So this was written before or after his brain was replaced with a can opener engine?

>it's a new school year and a new girl is on Oscar's classroom.

Graham: are you sure it's a girl? I mean, it could really be an evil android sent to kill you!
Tim: We can only hope. Of course this is godboy SI , so it ain't likely. And that's Heroic, if it's killing Oscar.

>And wouldn't you like to know who she is...

Tim: Not really, no...

>That Girl:

>Well it's another school year, and you can bet that Oscar And Serena
>aren't too happy for that.

Graham: Of course, NOBODY is happy that you've written more of this crap.

>At 8:40 pm. Oscar and Serena got to school IN TIME!!!.

Graham: Man, and people say Japan has tougher school systems...
Tim: In time? did they drive the delorean or something?
Graham: and these tiny foibles you introduce do NOTHING to take away from the fact that you are acting like an SI godboy fic writer! AND ARE ONE!

>Oscar's teacher, said "Ahem...class, class....CLAAASSSS!!!!"

Tim: SHAAAAADAAAP! Thank you.
Graham: Ow, my ear. I think this sets the record.
Mark: EH? I've think I've gone deaf!

>She yelled, cuz no one payed her attention.

Tim: Yo Vinnie and I are gonna do nasty things if you don't pay my attention over here!

>After that everyone shutted up, and looked at the angry tech.

Graham: When robots attack, tuesday on ABC!

>"Listen up! we have a new mutant, er, i mean student today, so i want
>you to respect her ok?" The teacher said.

>"Her name is Felicia," She then looked at the door and said "Ok

Tim: Dude! Felicia's in her twenties already! And a Yank!
Graham: I notice it's another cat he's lusting after...

>come in Felicia". Felicia heared that and entered the classrom with her
>school uniform.

Tim: This is what happens when you go too long without washing your clothes
Graham: You would know.

>Everyone had a scared look on their face,

Graham: Walking clothes do that to people.

>except Oscar who wasn't even paying attention to her, Felicia saw Oscar
>and tought "Oh no.....not another crush,

Tim: Only way Oscar would be Felicia's crush is if she literally CRUSHED him.

>but he's sooo damned cute.....i can't let him go"

Mark: Well, if he's that good with gals, why don't you like him? Is it because neither of you can get any?
Graham: No Mark, it's because he's an egomaniacal little SI Godboy-
Tim: -Who makes everybody act horribly OOC just so he can get some anime cock or pussy. His first fic was about him, a hermaphrodite, falling in love with a male cat!
Mark: What? I didn't catch that (He gets punched again)

>She then standed in front of everyone

>(Note: as many of you now, Felicia "From Darkstalkers" is a Monster,
>a freak,

Tim: though much, much more human and higher on the evolutionary scale than Oscar.
Graham: And yet, he's still writing a fic about boinking her... shows you something about Oscar, don't it?

>a catwoman, she can transform from a cat to a catwoman and viceversa
>whenever she wants.

Graham: Which is really hazardous for your health when she does it right next to you
Tim: Heart... Attack...

>She never dresses up, cuz the only thing that protects her nipples and
>her pussy, is the remaining fur that has when in catwoman form, BUT

Tim: A pussy with a pussy!
Mark: And you think I'm perverted!
Tim: Felicia having a pet cat, stupid. and that sentence transition is nonsensical.

>she has to use school uniform, that's the rule.

Graham and Tim:...
Tim: That paragraph was a run-on piece of crap.

>She also keeps her kitty tail when in catwoman form.

Graham: and where does she keep this I wonder?...
Tim: Probably...
Mark: you're gonna say something really perverted, I know it!
Tim: as a belt, like the Saiyins.
Mark: (slumps down defeated)

>She has no parents, nor family. She was left in a church where she was
>raised). The teacher then said "Well she's Felicia"

>Everybody still had the scared look on their face,

>"Now sit your butt over there!"

Tim: Teacher has a stick up her ass. Understandable, since she has OSCAR as a student. Even though Oscar's a yank, don't know a word of japanese, never been to Tokyo, and probably doesn't even know that Sailor Moon takes place in Tokyo!

>The teacher said seeing that Felicia had a better body than her,

Graham: Hair?
Tim: Brick Shithouse?
Mark: Volvo station wagon?
(T and G stare at Mark for a moment, then slug him)

>Felicia looked angry at the teacher but didn't turned to her, she went to
>desk behind Oscar!!!!.

Tim: And thus the child of light shalt meet the child of dark... though in this case, the child of dark is MUCH worse of a mistake than Torak ever could be.

>The day passed and Now it was 3:35 pm. just 35 mins. before they went
>home.

Graham: I take back what I said about Japanese schools not being tough. 19 HOUR SCHOOL DAYS?
Mark: How'm I supposed to get any sleep then?
Tim: During class, Like I do, duh.

>Oscar was writing what the teacher was writing in the black board,

Tim: Teacher needs to control her anger... she's digging into the blackboard.

>But Felicia was too busy staring at Oscar, to pay attention to the teacher,
>she eventually Wrote something on a sheet of paper, builded a paper plane
>with it, and threw it to Oscar. Oscar felt something pointy hit his head,

Tim: And then dig in, rip off his skull, tear out his brain and shove a mess of worms in its place!
Graham: Oscar would be smarter for it, at least.
Mark: But he'd be dead...
Tim: He'd still be smarter

>he grabbed the plane behind his head "Huh? what is this?" He asked
>himself quietly. He oppened the plane and saw the message that said:

>"Hiya Oscie! Behind you...". Oscar turned back, and saw Felicia, she

Tim: How'd she learn his name? Oh yeah, godboy SI, nevermind...

>had a happy little face ^_^. Oscar smiled bewilderedly, and a tear drop
>appeared in his head,

Tim: Hmm, more proof that Oscar's more of a freak than Felicia. his tear ducks are in his head, not his eyes!

>And blue around the nose.

>He turned his attention back to the tech.

Tim: Testing, Testing, one two, F-U!

>The bell rang as it was 4:10 pm. now, Everyone went hom,

T&G: Hommmmmm....
Mark: HUH?

>Oscar, Serena, Rei, Mina, Amy, and Lita were walking their way
>home again (Like that's new). But Felicia was following them quietly,

Tim: Shh! I'm hunting fanfic witing hewmaphwordites, be vewy, vewy quiet. ehehehe!

>suddenly Artemis appeared and jumped on Oscar's Shoulder,

Graham: TAKE THAT, SHOULDER!

>Oscar happily hugged Artemis, and puttted him in his shoulder. Luna
>too was there but in Amy's shoulder,

Graham: Hollow Shoulders, almost as big a craze as Cling-ons.
Tim: In Oscar's case it was to compliment his empty head.

>They where talking about school stuff. Felicia then made her appareance,
>she came up from behind and took Oscar's arm, as if they where engaged,

Tim: What bizarre, uncultured notions this hermaphrodite has. Taking one's arm does not mean engagement. It's either a polite gesture a gentleman makes to a lady, by giving her his arm to hold-
Graham: And Oscar ain't no gentleman.
Tim:- or a sign of overaffection that one may do to another.

>Oscar gulped hard, and had a scared look on his face. Artemis too had a
>worried look on his face,

Tim: Yes, worried for Felicia, she's gonna haveta boink Oscar too.
Graham: THE AGONY!
Mark: I don't get it.

>While Serena and the others looked suspiciously at Oscar and Felicia.
>Oscar weakly said "Wh-What are you doing?!" Felicia had Smiling look
>on her face,

Tim: You got some smiling look right below your eye.

>and responded "Don't you remember me? i'm the one who threw you
>that plane"

>Oscar remembered and said "Oh yeah...

Graham: What was my name again?

>Well what do you want?" He said as he looked Felicia rubbing her
>head to his arm. "Just want to be close to you...giggle" Said Felicia,
>realizing that she wanted to catch him.

Tim: And then toy with him for a few minutes before ripping his head off and playing with the entrails.
Graham: I'm not sure whether I should be rejoicing at the idea and imagery of that happeneing, or fleeing for my life at the fact that you're thinking like that right now...

>Oscar looked at Artemis, and tought "Oops! What should i do?"

Graham: You're an SI godboy, whatever you SHOULD do, you chuck to the side, in favor of what you WANNA do.

>Artemis had a strange look on his face as he looked at Oscar,
>and tought "Hmmm this girl, There's something strange about her"

Tim: Maybe its the fact that she has that cat tail sticking out from under her skirt, but NAAAHHH.

>Everyone was teasing Oscar about him, as Felicia wouldn't let go him.

Mark: I didn't understand that last one.
Tim: Well neither did we, but you don't see US making everyone think we're stupid, doya, we INSULT this author, not question him! and if we do question, it MUST be insulting!

>They eventually Got home: Lita to hers, AMy and the others too.

Mark: So they bought homes?
Tim: No, they all went to Lita's to have an Orgy, WITHOUT Oscar. Had it been with him, I would've killed Oscar ten times over by now.... instead of just the five.

>And finally only Oscar, Artemis & Felicia where alone in the sidewalk,

Graham: (Felicia) DAMN QUICK DRYING CEMENT! NOW I'M STUCK HERE WITH OSCAR, NOOOO!

>Oscar got home and said to Felicia "Ummm Felicia, here's where i
>live, ok?"

Tim: Feel free to stalk me as this IS my SI godboy insertion fic.
Mark: wait, isn't stalking when they don't want you to follow?
(Mark gets slapped in the head)

>Felicia then said "Ok" But didn't let go off Oscar's arm. "Would you be
>kind enough to let go my arm?" Oscar said trying to shake her off, But
>Felicia got off Oscar's arm before he shook her. "Well bye!!" Oscar said
>as he went to his front door, "W-Wait! aren't you gonna invite me in?"
>Felicia said as she followed Oscar to the front door,

Graham: Hey, Felicia's a Masochist! She willingly wants to go in Oscar's house!
Tim: Well, THAT, or she's suicidal...

>"Uh-Uhm no, it's too messy in there"

Graham: Oscar lives there so OF COURSE it'll be declared a national quarantine zone...

>Felicia smiled and said "Well ok! i now men aren't too clean...C'ya!"
>She left.

Tim: "I now men aren't to clean?" Nanichuan? Did she just become a bunch of dirty old men?
Graham: AHH! CHERRY, HAPPOSAI AND REI'S GRANDFATHER IN A GANG! AAAAAH!
Tim: Even worse, Oscar. Even Alone, Oscar is worse.

>Oscar let out a sigh, as he entered the house "Phew, thank god she's
>gone" aid Oscar

Tim: NOT IF I CAN BLOODY HELP IT I WON'T!

>as he leaved his backpack in the couch,

Graham: Damn lotta books they gotta carry. It fell INTO the couch!

>"Who was she?" Artemis asked him "Oh it's a new girl who is in my same
>class" Oscar responded. "Seems something else to me" Said Artemis
>looking at him with an evil smile,

>"C'mon Artemis, little kitty cat, you know i care for you more, than
>anything else" Said Oscar as he hugged Artemis softly.

Graham: Least he didn't HUGE him...

>"Allright" Artemis said smiling.

Tim: NO IT ISN'T!!!!!

>The afternoon passed, as Oscar made his boring homework, Artemis
>ate, and Played N64. At night Oscar took a light shower, and when he
>dryed himself.

Tim: Dried.

>Artemis was on the bed all stretched out, Oscar was only in his undies,

Tim and Graham: (Puking their guts out, and several of Mark's internal organs as well)

>Artemis saw this and went wide eyed. Oscar closed all the windows, and
>locked the door, lighting only a few candles for light, he turned the elec.
>lights of, and went in the bed with Artemis, caressing his fur.......

Mark: AAAAAAHHHH! HE JUST HAD SEX WITH A CAT!!!!!!!! I'M MORE SCARRED THAN FROM THAT LAST BEATING TIM GAVE ME! AAAAAAHHHH!

>The next day, Oscar woke up,

Graham: (Artemis) DAMN, the poison didn't work. Oh well, always another chance, unfortunately...

>and looked at the clock "AAAAHHHHH!!! I'M GONNA BE LATE!!!" He
>gasped and quickly putted on his undies,

>and his school uniform, and Runned to school. Artemis was a little too
>exhausted from last night, to notice Oscar's leave.

Graham: Of command?
Tim: of his senses?
Mark: Of his sense of DECENCY?
Tim: He wrote Artemis's lover, AND YOU EXPECT HIM TO HAVE EVER HAD DECENCY?

> Oscar was running like hell, When he turned around the corner he saw
>Felicia standing there, waiting for him.

>"Oh great!!!" He runned passed Felicia, but she Chased him "OSCAR!!
>WAIT UP!" Felicia said as she runned after him,

Tim: RAN, writer sans spellcheck.

>Oscar turned his head back and said "Hurry up or we're gonna be late for
>school!!!". They ebentually caught up with (Yes you guessed)

Tim: Let's just libe our libes and lobe who we lobe.

>Serena and Lita who, where late for school too. Serena noticed Oscar
>and said to Lita "Oh look!

Graham: IT'S A HERMAPHRODITE! TRANSFORM AND KILL IT!
Mark: (Shuddering)

>Lita there's Oscar, guess we're not the only ones!!he he" Lta turned
>back to see Oscar and said "Yeah".

Tim: Who's Lta, and what have you done to sailor Jupiter?

>Felicia managed to catch up with Oscar and the others. They got to
>school like 20 mins. late!!.

All: 9 PM. BIG WHUP.

>Oscar and Felicia's teacher said "WHY ARE YOU SOO LATE!!!! GET
>THE HELL OUTTA HERE AND INTO THE HALLWAY!"

Mark: Man what a bitch teacher!
Tim: Well, like I said, she teaches Oscar, and remember, it's Tech!

>Everyone looked at those two, and laughed saying "Guess you 2 were
>doing it, till morning! ha ha ha!!".

Tim: Yeah, I always like 2 put inapropriat gramatical, puncuashuns where they. dont bel'ong?
Graham: You sounded like an Angry Beavers B movie.
Mark: And you call my spelling bad. I mean, what teh hell ground do yu hav to.. HEY! Why am i talkin like i spell ryu? i dun like this!
Tim: Serves you "write", for stealing my speach patterns AND being too dense to realize that the mispelling was on PURPOSE!

>Oscar and Felicia where outside,

Tim: If this is anything like Where's Waldo or Carmen San Diego... I say we burn this and hope by sheer raw interdimenional flux luck, that we kill SI oscar, which make IRL Oscar so mad with grief that it kills itself!
Mark: You're scaring me with your ranting as bad as Oscar is with this fic...

>with Serena and Lita who where punished as well.

Tim and Graham: What when why how?

>Lita broke the silence, by asking Serena "Well Serena i guess you got late
>cuz you overslept didn't ya?" Serena looked a little angry at Lita "Yes....That's
>my problem....and you?!" Lita then Had a scared look on her face "Well i
>um, I too overslept he he he"

>Serena smiled evilly at her.

Mark: Umm... you wearing that new Evilly lipstick Serena, maybe...??
Tim: No, it's "You got some Evilly stuck in your teeth Serena" Baka Vaca Mark.
Graham: How does she smile a dead actor?

>Serena then looked at Oscar and asked "And how about you Oscar? it's
>weird to see you get late to school" Oscar blushed and said "Ummm,

Graham: He just contradicted himself! up above Oscar said that he got to school on, well "IN", time, in caps, meaning-
Tim:- That it was basicaly a big event that happened rarely. This means that the universe of Oscar's will slowly unravel into nothing and then turn itself into a destructive force againt the creator! AHAHAHAHA! Okay, I needed that...

>something happened yesterday and i slept at 1:30 am."

Mark: Please no more... (shudders again)
Tim:hmm.. how to snap him out of this... OH YEAH! "Knuckle Baks-
Mark: (Runs to the opposite side of the theter, having wet himself)
Graham: Well, at least he isn't obsessing about the emotional trauma of Oscar anymore. Just the physical trauma from you.

>Serena and Lita gasped, as they both said "EHHHH???"

Tim: (Lita): THAT DIDN'T MAKE SENSE IN JAPANESE, ENGLISH, OR ANY OF THE OTHER LANGUAGES WE'VE BEEN TRANSLATED INTO! WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN SMOKING AND WHERE CAN AMI AND I GET SOME OF IT?
Graham: Are you sure it's wise for them to smoke the same crap as this writer?
Tim: good point... Though we do need some tranquilizers. Mark's eating the upholstery in the cheap seats.

>Oscar's head was down, in depression.

Tim: Please, keep going, into suicidal mania! If there is a merciful god, be you the christian one, Odin, Thor -see how desperate I am folks?- Aphrodite, whom Oscar hath mocked fic and fic again, Anyone, STRIKE THIS SON OF A THREE LEGGED WOMBAT FRYER INTO A GREASE SPOT ON THE SIDEWALK IN THE ABSOLUTE WORST PART OF TOWN WHERE NOT EVEN THE LOWLIFES AND SCUM WILL HAVE TO WALK UPON THE REMAINS OF OSCAR!
(a minute passes)
Tim: Say... I wonder If I can talk the christians into rewriting the devil from Lucifer to Oscar. Hell, Lou didn't do anything actually BAD to get cast out, he just started the first union, that's all. AND OSCAR! He deserves to be the one chained down for all eternity! Speaking of which, Loki, who was around LONG before the idea of satan was invented, was chained too. THE CHRISTIANS STEAL YET ANOTHER DIETY TO SHORE UP THE WALLS OF THEIR FAITH! And I'll stop this now, before I go on for hours and offend everyone conservative christian likely to read this... if I hadn't already, which I probably have... anyways, back to the author killing!

>Lita then asked Felicia "And you? Felicia smiled and said "I was waiting
>for Oscar" She then winked to Oscar, who when he saw this, smiled fakely.
>Felicia got closer to Oscar, As he now was blushing.

>Then in recess, Oscar, Serena, Amy, Lita, and Felicia Where sittening in a
>table,

Graham: Sailor Moon, the Early, yet extremely EVIL, since OSCAR is with them, years!

>where They ate, and at the same time chatting.

Tim: MMMFMFMFMFMFMF?
Graham: MMFMHMHMHMFMF!
Mark: WHAT?
Tim:MFMFMFMFMFMMFFF!
Mark: Ow, brain hurting...
Tim: Oh, and look, actual grammar for once! "Where they ate"! Well, except for that it was "where sittening where they ate"

>Oscar was eating some kind of sourdough sandwich, Lita with her
>homecooking, And Serena with her mom's cooking, Amy well
>she made her own lunch,

Graham: Since food it cannot be called

>and Felicia with some kind of meatballs. Felicia was at the right side

Mark: Ouch, Vienna's boy's choir joke maybe?
Tim: Actually, this (Oscar): Why do I feel like wearing one glove, wearing flashy clothes getting plastic surgery, and lusting after small children? I mean, the children thing is normal, but the Other stuff, hey why am I talking like a girl?"
Graham: Ya know, a wacko Jacko Joke. He's a castrato.
Mark: The author or Michael Jackson?

>of Oscar, looking at him, Oscar tryed to ignore her, but Felicia was to
>close to him. Amy noticed Felicia

Tim: She walked home with her yesterday, AND SHE JUST NOW NOTICES HER!?!?!

>and asked "Hey what's your name?"

Graham: Ami not paying attention in class? That's gotta be the worst OOC YET!
Tim: Well, except for maybe Oscar's portrayal of himself...
Graham: Slam!

>Felicia responded "Felicia" Amy looked at her body, and noticed her tail

Graham and Tim: OI, AGAIN VIT DA NOTICING!
Mark: (late) Oy... ehy, why'd you spell it different?

>"You're not a normal girl are you?"

Tim: (Feleicia): Of course I am! ALL girls turn into cats, have fur over their private regions, have tails, compete in otherworldly martial arts competitions, and STILL go to japanese highschools even though they're yanks and are old enough to be in college already! ...Don't they?

>"Normal girls have better taste than you!" Felicia responded a little
>angry

Graham: That retort made no sense what-so-fucking ever...
Tim: Uh-oh, writer's got you acting slightly OOC. That's my language in YOUR mouth!
Graham: You're the author, remember? And I'm proofreader/writer!
Tim: Oh yeah, guess He's/I'm just trying to make a point... wish I knew what it was...

>"Yes i'm not a normal girl....so what?" Amy backed up and with a
>scared look on her face, said "Ok Ok! !"

Mark: What, you mean all girls don't turn into miraculous heroines with really cute outfits? (drools, the wannabe hentai (author:grumble mumble dieoscardie painmarkpain...))
Graham: Not outside of Tokyo, no, not really...

>Felicia then turned her attention back to Oscar. The day went on and at
>4:10 pm. they all went out.

Mark: On a date?
Tim: The multi date from HELL.

>Again Oscar, Artemis, Amy, Luna, Serena, Rei, Mina, Lita,

>And Felicia Where walking home, But now, they all went into a cafe
>before they returned home, everyone sat in a table,

Tim: Beanbag Tables! Brought to you from the same people who brought you flammable toasters and french bread!

>ordered something to drink and, they talked.

Mark: Mostly about killing Oscar...?
Graham: Getting better, but that they were talking about that was a given.

>Felicia kept getting nearer to Oscar, as he now was shivering,

Tim: Let us hope it is with uncontrollable fear for mine wrath shant be swift, it shalt be slow and the vengeance of heaven shalt BALK at the terrible thing I shalt do to thee...
Mark: Uhh, what does it mean exactly when he talks like that?
Graham: He's about to go completely psycho, or Toranoken again...
(Remote sections of Canada and the American northwest get torched by the sheer bad luck that they were behind the theatre wall, however far away, at the time Tim went Torankoken)
Tim: FUN!

>and Artemis had a curious look on hi face. Felicia then with her BIG
>paw, touched Oscar's leg as it went north.

Tim: Bigpaw brought to you from BigShit Inc. Bigshit. if it's BIG, we got it!
Graham: Are they in competition with BIGNOISE?
Tim: Actualy, they OWN Bignoise.

>Bur before it reached his 2 genital parts, he desperately got off the table,
>grabbed his back pack and runned off like hell.

Tim: (Feleicia) Hmmm.. and so close to saving everyone from him witing ANOTHER lemon ever again too...

>Felicia was about to follow him when Mina stopped her "Felicia!" She
>said. Felicia stopped and sat again "What is it?" Felicia asked,
>"What is your business with Oscar?" Mina asked.

Tim: (Felicia) My name Is Felicia the catwoman, he fucked a cat, he is to die!

>Felicia with a happy face responded "Ohh can't you see it? he's soooo
>charming!"

Graham: Can't you see it? The author's an SI godboy and everyone's horribly OOC, isn't it just wonderful?
Mark: Uh, no?
Tim: That was sarcasm, stupid...

>Mina and the others closed their eyes and had big tear drops on their heads.

Tim: At least the Scouts are biologically normal.
Graham: Shouldn't that be Senshi?
Tim: I couldn't give a flying frankfurter flaying a fraulen if it should or not!

>Rei then told Felicia "Felicia......you love him?" Felicia still looked
>happy and said "Yes i love him!!"

Graham: Well, not actually, but then again, I'm already acting horribly OOC, so why not!

>Rei looked a little worried "Then you should know...that he's already taken",
>Felicia exalted as she heared this

Tim: (Felicia) YES! THAT MEANS I WON'T HAVE TO DO A LEMON WITH HIM! THANK YOU GOD!

>"Wh-Whaaatt....??"

Graham: Er-hem. "Then you should know...that he's already taken"

>Rei then said "I'm sorry....but it's true he's already taken" Felicia then
>looked down, and with a Weakly sad voice, said "Sob...

Tim: Cough
Graham: Barf
Mark: Bleed
Tim: Swear Bloody Murder

>Then who is this woman...?" Rei patted Felicia's shoulder "Well
>actually, it's not a human"

Tim: But, then again, by Oscar's description, which, of course, is not accepted anywhere but this fic, neither is Felicia.

>Felicia looked at her and said "What do you mean?" Rei weakly said "He's
>in love with his guardian cat....Artemis" Felicia went wide eyed "WHAT!!

ALL: HE'S IN LOVE WITH HSI GUARDIAN CAT!
Graham: Even though It's Mina's!

>that cat that he's always in his shoulder?....How can it be?!" Rei shrugged
>"That cat is not a normal cat.....he can talk"

Tim: OOC! OOC! OOC! A darkstalker werecat NOT believing that a cat can talk! BWAHAHAHAHA!

>Felicia took Rei's left hand tightly "H-He can talk? you're lying!"
>Rei looked at Luna, she putted her on the table,

>"This is the 2nd cat that can talk...her name is Luna" Felicia looked
>at The little black cat "How can a cat talk?"

Graham: How can a cat girl change into a cat and participate in otherworldly martial arts competitions?
Tim: As well as Marital. Or in Oscar's case, assasinatorial. And Luna was the first.

>Luna then said "Well it's no big deal you know" Felicia gasped as she
>heared that "Yo-You just talked!"

Graham: (Luna) Oh, don't be silly! I did not!
Mark: But wait, to say that, she had to talk, didn't she... ow...

>Rei grined "See? so if she can talk, then so can Artemis" Felicia turned
>her attention to Rei "But how can he be in love with a cat?!"

All: How can YOU be in love with OSCAR?
Tim: Even if it IS his SI Godboy fic!

>Rei shrugged "Words cannot explain the the relation those 2 have...

Graham: Since they usually start wretching less than a minute into the story.
Mark: Make the bad man STOP!

>i'm sorry" Felicia stood up, and ran away, almost crying "Felicia where
>are you going!!??" Yelled Mina from the door.

>Felicia was crying, not noisily, but she felt terrible knowing that the only
>guy who could have actually get along with, was already taken, and with
>a cat.

>Oscar was in his house playing Dukenukem 3d 64, with Artemis.

>Artemis played pretty damn good for being a cat, also considering the
>size of the N64 controller and the size of his paws, The score was 35-20
>Artemis's Favor. Oscar couldn't beleive that his Boyfriend was beating
>him in the game that supposely he was the master of masters!.

Tim: Ohhh, such lovely ammunition that paragraph provideth me... ONE: Artemis, as a CAT, has no opposable thumbs, and so cannot grasp the buttons properly, and thus the fact that he is sorely whupping Oscar, a mostly humanoid's, ass, that tells you how bad this "master of masters" sucks at the game. TWO: BELIEVE IT BITCH!

>Artemis finally founded Oscar in the game, and he had the Bazooka,
>Oscar went wide-eyed as Artemis pushed the Fire button and blasted
>Oscar into itty bitty pieces,

Tim: Again, ammo. Artemis cannot hold the controller the same as a human, and as flexible as cat's arm's are, I doubt he could wrap one paw around the bottom with another comftorably, or usably, on the joystick. AND CAN IT BE IRL, PRETTY PLEASE!!!???!!!

>"Yes!!! ha ha!" Artemis said With a big fat smile and his fang outside.
>Oscar falled from the bed with a Crazy look on his face, and weakly said
>"I-I can't beleive it!! A-Artemis beated me?".

Mark: Oscar needs to be beaten.
Tim: QUITEMUCH! and yes, he "wonned" against you...

>"Better luck next time!" Artemis said to him as he looked from the bed.
>Oscar stood up and turned off the N64, and tunned in the FOX channel.
>Then something knocked the door, Oscar and Artemis heard this and
>went to the front door, He oppened it, but no one was there instead he
>found a letter below his feet,

Graham: I'd hate to see it if a midget rang his doorbell.
Tim: Either we have midget pancake, or yet another hentai thing for which to exact retribution.

>"Huh?" Oscar said as he took the envelope and oppened it. It said:
>"Oscar, meet me at the School's football stadium, at 7:00 pm. sharp, and
>come alone....". Oscar raised an eyebrow and returned inside, Artemis
>was curious of what the letter said, and asked "Um Oscar what does it say?"

>Oscar looked down to Artemis and with a smile he replied "Oh just a little
>challenge that some guy made me, no big deal," Artemis smiled and said
>"Well, good luck" Oscar blinked and then chuckled.

>It was 6:43 pm. and Oscar Got in his fighting suit, that looks like Goku's
>but without the "Kame" sign,

Tim: Ten to one, you can't even get those outside of Shaolin temples and formal kung fu schools. and two: What style, praytell, other than SI godboy moding, has the oh so mighty Oscar mastered?

>he then left the house and went to the stadium. Oscar got there at 6:59 and
>looked everywhere as he saw noone waiting for him.

>Oscar felt a little worried, and excactly at 7:00 he heared someone yell.
>"SANDP-SPLASH!!!" The voice yelled,

Tim and Graham: I.WOOF REGULARS UNITE!!!!!!
Poryhedron: KILL OSCAR!!!!!!
All other I.WOOF'ers: MUERTA AL/A LA HERMAFRODITO/A!

>Oscar turned around but everything went all foggy and dusty, he couldn't see
>nothing.

Tim: Either English isn't Oscar's first Language-
Graham: Likely
Tim: -Or he's just barely made it out of every english class each year, and ONLY because the teacher didn't want him in their class another year.
Graham: More than likely.

>A familiar voice then said "Why did you had to come into my life!?"
>Oscar still confused said "Who are you? show yourself!" He then felt
>something aproaching by his side, the person tryed to punch him, but Oscar
>jumped out of it's range.

>"Why are you attacking me?" Oscar asked the voice,

>and it replied "I liked you since the day i saw you....no one deserves you
>more than me!!"

Tim: Am I the only one that A: notices the disturbing similarity between those words and Artemis's Lover and B:thinks that if this wasn't an SI godboy fic, those words would be used as a taunt, shortly before Oscar died?
Graham: I noticed the first, and WISHED I had thought the second...

>Again Oscar felt someone near him, the person tried to drop kick him,
>but Oscar evaded again. The voice said "But no....you had to be in love
>with a cat!!!" Oscar heared this and Went wide-eyed, as his mind went
>to overdrive "What?!!" Osca said still bewildered. "DELTAAA KICK!!!!"

Mark: Gaining a maximum velocity of roughly 1 MPH?
Tim: More like 1 IPH...
Mark: IPH?
Tim: Inch per hour.

>The voice yelled, Oscar was too emotionall to notice the person
>aproaching, the person connected the 2 kicks to Oscar, he went
>flying and slammed into the floor.

Graham: and the fact that this didn't kill him, AND the fact that previous attacks he dodged, proved this to be an SI godboy fic.
Tim: Besides, wasn't his brain going onto overdrive? When I go like that, I notice EVERYTHING!
Graham: So you're almost always in overdrive?
Tim: I guess... Hey look, a time flux distortion we can use to travel back in time and make sure Oscar never existed! No, wait, that would mean I never got into the MST buisiness... Nevermind...

>Oscar stood up "Sooo you wanna fight? then that you'll get"

Tim: A good laugh?
Graham: A free lunch?
Mark: a lame opponent?

>The person laughed "Ha ha ha!!" Oscar heared this and said "I know that
>voice"

Tim: Yes folks, Oscar IS that slow. it only NOW occurs to him who this might be...

>The person runned into Oscar, punching him repeteadly and kicking him,

Mark: They seem pretty angry...
Tim: Yeah, all "wounded" up...

>Oscar blocked everyone of the person's attacks, Then the person made a
>slash to Oscar and ripped his shirt, "Whoa!" Oscar said as he looked his
>shirt all ripped off,

>"ROLLING BUCKLEEE!!!!"

>Oscar quickly noticed this and saw a medium sized ball run into him,
>attacking him and scratching him below,

Tim: Ball NOT made by BigShit Inc.

>but Oscar managed to block the fierce attack, then the person unballed
>itself and made a move similar to Ken's shoryuken,

Tim: Well, what about Ryu's, EH? HE EXISTED BEFORE KEN! OR HAVE YE NAY SEEN THE ORIGINAL SF?
Graham: Or maybe Akuma's? He knew the attack before the both of 'em!

>Oscar too blocked that, The person now tryed to punch him on the face
>but Oscar blocked it and jumped up.

Tim: Do we believe oscar could do any of this IRL?
Graham: NO!
Tim: Hell, I could probably block some of this shit, SOME, mind you, but my arm's'd hurt damn bad for awhiles afterwards.

>Oscar managed to see part of the person from above, it was a woman!.

Graham: And the woman won by default, as Oscar nosebled to death!

>Oscar when he came down, he didn't loked the woman there, and felt
>something behind him, it was the woman preparing to land on him with
>a BIG strong fist!

>The woman launched her fist into him but she just traspassed him, IT
>WAS AN ILLUSION, the real Oscar was before her,

>and with a light fast punch to the stomach he desabilitated the woman.

ALL: BULLSHIT! DAMN BAD BULLSHIT TOO!

>The woman held her stomach, and backed up, as she knelt in front of
>Oscar.

>He then disipated the fog with a punch, he punched up to the air,
>forming an air turrent and disipating the fog. The woman slowly took
>form, Oscar looked at her, and exalted "Huh?!!" IT WAS FELICIA
"Fe-Felicia???"

> Felicia was still hurted for Oscar's light punch, Felicia began crying
>her tears going down from her cheeks.

Graham: Yes, SI godboy-dom, with a single light punch, you too can whup god's ass.
Tim: I bet I could already do that. Hell, if I'm not dead yet, what can god do to make me dead?
Mark: Maybe I should write SI godboy fi-
Tim: Do so and I rip every single one of your internal organs out starting with your toes and ending with your heart, with all the painful places between.
Mark: Or maybe not.

>Oscar knelt before her, Took her by the shoulders and standing her up,
>he lifted her face looking her straight in the eyes.

>"Felicia what is wrong?" Said Oscar, "Oscar.....why did you do this to
>me?" Said Felicia still crying,

>Oscar shrugged "What i did to you? i didn't do nohing!"

Tim: Except mode my ass off and whup your ass in a single move.

>Felicia then said "I like you Oscar...Don't you?" Oscar Blinked "Well
>yes...but"

Graham: Of COURSE I like myself! I'm writing this SI godboy fic, aren't I?

>Felicia said "But what? Artemis isn't it?" Oscar sighed "Yes....Sorry Felicia...."

>Felicia then said "But it's just that....i like you so much!" Oscar then
>hugged Felicia "Now now Felicia....i'm not the only man in this
>world.....you WILL find better men,

Mark: That's not too hard...

>and men that aren't Hermaphrodites....oops" Felicia looked at Oscar and
>said "Hermaphrodite? you're an herm.?" Oscar blushed "Yes..."

Tim: NO "AN" simply "A"! AND Herm.? What the hell, why the fuck do you shorten hermaphrodite into a word that could mean one of ANYTHING millions of thing having to deal with Hermes or his kid with Aphrodite, Hermaphrodito, who spurned a wood nymph and the nymph wanting to be mit the dork forever, begged to be joined with him. So they were. meet the first hermaphrodite.
Graham: Thank you Mister-knows-too-damn-much-for-your-own-damn-good.
Tim: You're Welcome.

>Felicia then said "I don't care....i just LOVE you!"

Tim: (wise sage) Felicia, your acting skills are not up to par, you must become an apprentice of BS, then work your way up the ranks to be a Disciple of Ryu Shikaze, the Lord high god of BS'ing.
Mark: Wait, aren't YOU...?
Tim: SHHH! Better business, oh lowly scullery boy of BS!

>Oscar breathed hard

Graham: Crap. The Rocks we shoved down his throat last time haven't pierced his lungs yet!

>"Felicia....you have to find another man....i don't think we would make it"

Tim: Whatever the hell that means, I'm sure you just wrote it to try and make yourself look better.

>Felicia then looked at Oscar straight in the eyes "I will try....but i'm not
>sure....i mean look at me, i'm afreak" Oscar smiled "No you're not,

Graham: At least not compared to Oscar, she isn't.
Tim: Eh, she's NORMAL. Here me? NORMAL! What she is, is in the majority, therefore, she is normal!
Graham: and just WHAT is she, might I ask?
Tim: A cute anime babe. Is there any other kind?

>i'm a herm. and i have passed the last 11 years facing lots of humiliations but
>now that i'm 14 i don't get such comments"

Tim: Yes you do... and how the hell would kids know, care, or even be able to tell something was WRONG, at the age of THREE?

>Felicia showed him her body, incuding her tail

Graham: Which EVERYONE has noticed-
Tim: Excluding Ami.
Graham:- Excluding Ami, and Oscar, SINCE THE FIRST DAY SHE SHOWED UP!

>"But won't this scare the guys off?" Oscar looked at her and said "I don't
>think someone would care for that, not even the stupidest person would care
>for such minor things"

Tim: See, I'm Oscar, and I don't care...

>Felicia Smiled and said "Thanks Oscar" She hugged him, and Oscar said
>"Sooo want me to walk you home?" Felicia giggled "No thanks, i'll go
>alone, thanks" She waved goodbye and then she parted.

Graham: Ninja split form technique!
Tim: Multi self Norse magic!
Mark:... I got nothing.

>Oscar too went to his home. Artemis was a little worried for Oscar, but
>Oscar returned just in time,

Tim: For the cannon to go off.

>Artemis heared someone opening the front door, and instantly recognized
>Oscar's smell

Tim: Even though a cat's long range sense of smell is not that good...

>"How did everything went?"

Graham: AN OSCARISM! KILL IT! KILL THE AUTHOR! KILL IT!

>Artemis asked Oscar, as he smiled. Oscar looked down and smiled too

>"Very well, that guy wasn't a match for me!" Artemis smiled "Hu hu, and
>who was this guy?" Oscar blinked "Oh it was some loser from school, you
>know envy and stuff.

Tim: Yeah, envious that I'm like such an amazing dude and that I'm not such a sorry loser that I'd write fanfics about me having sex with a cat. I mean that ACTUALLY happened, and he was also jealous of the fact that I'm such an utter god at fighting, even though I couldn't even name the basic stances in Kung-Fu for you!
Mark: Can you?
Tim: Yes. Goat, Horse, Cat, Dragon, Crane, Monkey, Seven star, Close, Round. Want me to DEMONSTRATE the nine punches and nine openhands?
Mark: EEP!

>Well lets get to sleep"

>Artemis went into the bedroom and into the bed sheets, as well did
>Oscar, and they doze off to sleep.

>The next day, Oscar and Felicia were in the classroom. Oscar turned,
>and saw Felicia who was paying attention to the tech.

Tim: Testing, Testing... Is that light secure? It is? LOOSEN it! Otheriwse it WON'T fall on Oscar's head and kill him!

>Oscar blinked, and tought "Hmmm seems that she has found someone
>else...good" The teacher went to Oscar's desk while he was looking at
>Felicia. "OSCAR! WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT!"

Graham: Um..... just trying to see the back of my head, "tech".
Tim: (teacher) Oh, well, proceed (to self) Maybe he'll twist that head so tight it'll pop like a ZIT the stupid sorry little soandso call me tech will he? WhyIaughta...

>Oscar heared this, and shrugged with a worried look on his face he
>slowly turned to the tech.

>"Y-Yes?". Everyone then teased him by saying "He he he.....Felicia!
>Oscar!"

All: (Blink, Blink) RIIIIIIIIIGHT.

>Oscar blushed and said under his breath "Losers".

Tim: You just go right on beleiving that, Oscar. Anyone care to lay odds that Oscar is the pariah of his school and is almost always beaten up by the higher ups?
Graham: 1:1.
Tim: Yeah. Rule one of Nonconformity: Make sure that if you don't conform, that you can defend yourself. Recent addendum: and that your school doesn't go Apeshit about you fightng the assholes.
Graham: Oscar probably hasn't learned this rule, and couldn't do anything with it if he knew.

>Then recess came, Oscar, Serena, Rei, Mina, and Amy, sat in their
>usual spot,

Tim: Well, at least the snipers don't haveta keep lookin...

>Oscar noticed, that Felicia and Lita weren't there, "Hmmm where could
>they be?" he said with a Happosai type face.

Tim: Yes folks, Happosai type face, when you want even the lettering to tell your readers that you're a hentai!

>Serena then said "Oh Oscar, Lita and Felicia are with they new
>boyfriends!" Oscar smiled, "Alright!".

>Rei grinned "Hmm that's one thing you couldn't even get if your life
>depended on it!" Serena glared at Rei "Look who's talking! Little
>Psycho!"

Tim: Even in 98, when this was written, Serena and Tuxy were already an Item... dolt.

>They started one of their classic Tounge matches. Oscar looked at
>those 2 fight "He he he....guess somethings never change!"

Mark: HEY.... Lesbianism!
Graham: Nope, sorry. See, that would be an UP side to this fic, and oscarfics have only ONE upside.
Tim: The fact that they END.

>Amy had a Math book, in her left hand, while in her right she held
>the Rice mound, she was eating.

Graham: Yes folks, POINTLESS TRIVIA INFORMATION!

>Oscar took a little walk in the school yard, to pass the food when he
>suddenly saw Lita with some guy, Oscar stopped and looked at the
>cupple

>"Hmm guess he's Lita's new Boyfriend, Hey...but he's not from this
>school....nah who cares" he tought And just walked away. Lita was with
>her boyfriend,

Tim: Her manager, her lover, and her Pimp. Sorry, couldn't resist the Kodoma No Omocha reference there...

>"Umm and what do you want to become, when you finish college?" She
>asked,

Mark: A real boy?
Graham: A 1 Dimensional character, at least?
Tim: Somebody NOT in an oscarfic?
Graham and Mark: AMEN!

>"Umm i dunno, but a fanfic critic is not one of my best" He said.

Tim:...... okay... like you get paid for that... My guess is he's trying to mock people who give his fanfics bad reviews by calling them two timers.
Mark: EH?
Tim: I've read through the whole fic already. I'm just commenting at the pace you guys are reading.

>"Oh Kogi...."

>Lita said, and tought "I hope he doesn't break my heart like my ex".

Mark: Not even I spell THIS badly!

>Felicia was waiting for her boyfriend, in a bench, he eventually got in
>time "Felicia! puff!" the guy said as he reached where Felicia was

>"Hi" she responded, "Sorry if i'm late, i had some business to finish in
>the other school" The guy said. (Note Lita and Felicia's BF are guys
>from another school, and when they come here, they are in recess too
>ok?).

All: NO, it isn't.
Tim: For one, neither high school nor Junior high have recess. they have lunch periods, and midday break periods, which are usually ten to thirty minute intervals
Graham: For Two, given the way Tokyo is laid out, it's highly unlikely that two highschools would be close enough to each other to travel between quickly enough, at least on foot. St. Hebereke's and Furinkan are the exception, both because of distance, and because of the fact that they are in Ranma 1/2
Tim: Which he probably ALSO doesn't know takes place in Tokyo...
Graham: Tim, don't say it...
Tim: Graham, If Oscar EVER writes an SI Ranma fic, remind me to go totally psychotic and waste California.

>Felicia smiled and took his arm "So, how've ya been?" Felicia said, trying
>to make some conversation, "Oh well, The tech's are assholes,

Tim: Yo! Did you hear what he just wrote about us? He's under the light rig! We can say the cord was frayed and NOBODY WILL MOURN!

>some guy at the school is a nerd, the usual,

Tim: (Kuro) He writes fanfics about him being in love with a cat! Can you beleive this guy?

>and u?" Felicia blinked "Well a little hard, to go thru life cuz i'm a
>catwoman....

Graham: I gotta be In Gotham in an hour, seeyabye!

>but seems that you don't care for that"

Mark: Doesn't that mean he WOULDN'T like her for it? I mean, I don't care for fur wearers.
Tim: Hmm... Hehe, Felicia at a fur protest. Oh, here's a question. If a fur protester sees an animal with a fur coat, does he throw paint on it? Besides, I couldn't care less if you had fur garments, so long as you kill the animal yourself, without a gun, in the wild... you get my drift.

>She smiled and hugged him "That's one good thing of you...Kuro".
>Kuro blushed and caressed her hair "You too Feli..". Lita came along,
>and when Kuro saw her, he said "Ummm Felicia let me bring you
>something to drink ok? just a minute" Felicia "Ok!"

>Kuro runned into the cafeteria, as Lita got where Felicia was "Hiya Felicia,
>how're you doing with your BF?"

Tim: AN OSCARISM! Anyways, Since Megane already did a similiar section, I regulate it to ONE comment per person. ONCE. Here's mine; "Ball Fetcher?"
Graham: It seems only fitting that the cat have a dog of a boyfriend...

>Felicia smiled and looked at her "Fine, he just went ot bring me some ice tea"
>Lita then asked "Um by the way, have you seen Kogi?" Felicia went-wide eyed
>"Who?" Lita replied "Kogi, he's my BF"

Graham: Bloody Fugitive?
Tim: Oscar would be, if he tangled with Felicia.

>Felicia shrugged "Nope sorry" Lita frogned

Tim: Lita's turned into a frog! ESUNA!

>"I can't find him....Well c'ya! good luck eh?" Lita left her there.

>"Bye!" Felicia yelled, When Kuro saw Lita leaving he got out of the
>cafeteria, and went to Felicia's side "Oh Kuro, Lita just passed, thanks"

>She said as Kuro handed her the Glass of tea. "Oh that big girl?" Kuro
>asked Felicia, "Yes she has some strenght!" Felicia responded.

>Kuro sighed "You can say that again"

All: "Yes she has some strenght!"

>Felicia raised a eyebrow and said "Huh? What was that?" Kuro inmediately
>looked back at Felicia "Oh nothing, don't mind me".

Graham: What, you say something? I wasn't paying attention.

>The day went on,

>Felicia kept paying attention to the tech.

>Oscar felt good cuz Felicia had founded someone else. at 4:10 again
>everyone left the school, the whole gang was in the sidewalk chatting
>about school stuff,

Tim: Quick drying cement. The bane of innatentive slow walkers.

>Lita then sayed "Ho boy, my BF is just the greatest!,

Mark: Butt Fu- (MALLETED, SPATULA'D TABLED, DOJO'D, TOKYO'D AND ANY OTHER BLUNT OBJECTS THAT COULD CONCIEVABLY USED TO BUNDGEON HIM WITH A 'D OR AN "ED" AT THE END)
Tim: The Weighted Stave, Mark. The Weighted Stave

>his name is Kogi" Everyone looked at her and asked "Why?" Lita responded

Graham: Yeah, why not, say... Bubba?

>"Well he's tall he's strong, has a cute face, nice hair, and.....He looks like
>my ex-boyfriend"

Tim: Come to think of it, so does Felicia's boyfriend. That bush over there looks just like him too! OOH! The Colors, the pretty Colors...

>Everyone fell (Sailormoon style) POOOOWW!.

All: BANG, POW, RIGHT IN THA KISSA!

>Oscar, Artemis, Amy and the others slowly stood up "Oh man...." Rei
>said as she looked at Lita.

Tim: You know, that's never bothered them before... why should it now?

>Lita looked at everyone stand up, and had a Bewildered look on her face,
>"What's wrong?" She asked

>"Ne-Nevermind!" Said Artemis.

>After they stood up, Felicia said "Well me too!

>his name is Kuro" Oscar heared this and patted her shoulder

>"Glad that you finally found someone...nice going!" he made a
>thumbs-up sign.

>Everyone got home in time, Oscar when he got home, Artemis jumped
>down from his shoulder. The week went on,

>as Felicia and Lita kept dating their BF's,

Tim: Okay, one more. "Breast feeders?"

>And Oscar was free from Felicia's claws,

Graham: I'm not sure I should groan at the pun, or at the fact that she isn't using those claws to kill Oscar.

>Then, in saturday Felicia went to the park, where Kuro would meet her,
>Lita was also there, but in another place,

>she was with Kogi. They went nearer and nearer where Felicia was,
>and Felicia noticed someone aproach, Kogi noticed Felicia from a
>distance and inmediately backed up "What's wrong?" Lita asked
>worried, as Kogi had a scared look on his face

>"No-Nothing lets just go this way" he turned back and went the other way,
>Felicia followed them, as she came in closer, "Kuro?" Felicia asked,

Mark: No, I'm not Kuro, I just happen to look exactly like him and share his body! Yeah, that's it, I'm a psycho with two personalities! No I'm not! Yes I am! See?

>Lita turned back and saw Felicia "Oh hi Felicia! this is Kogi, who i talked you
>about last monday"

>Kogi hid his face from Felicia,

Tim: If he's hiding it where I THINK he's hiding it, I can understand why...

>"Kogi say hi, c'mon" Lita said as she shook him Kogi weakly said "Hi..."
>Felicia heared his voice and said "Hey i know that voice"

>Lita blinked "Huh?" Felicia Said "Hmmm Kuro hasn't showed up, he said
>he would meet me here at this hour...." Kogi said to Felicia, still hiding
>his face from her "Don't worry, he'll come"

>Felicia kept thinking "I know that voice...but nah! he couldn't be"

Tim: (Felicia) The author's only wanted me to sleep with him since he started writing this thing, there's no WAY he could possibly want me to find out my Boyfriend is two-timing me so I fuck him on the rebound! Of COURSE not!

>And then said "Ok, C'ya!" She said as she left. Lita then turned to Kogi
>"Well lets continue"

>Kogi and Lita kept walking on the park's sidewalk.

>Felicia was still waiting for Kuro, but after 20 mins. she gave up hope,
>and went with Lita.

>Lita and Kogi where in a bench, chatting,

>Felicia saw them from a distance, Kogi got closer to Lita and finally kissed
>her mouth to mouth.

Graham: As opposed to Nose to Forehead.

>Felicia saw the scene and She looked horrified as She saw Kuro kissing
>Lita!

>Felicia went to the bench where they were sittening, with a furious look, she
>eventually got there,

>Kogi looked at her and gasped "Fe-Felicia!!" He said after parting from
>Lita's mouth,

>Felicia still had the furious look and slapped him fiercely on the
>face.SLAAP!!.

Graham: Http://hitmeinthe.face.SLAAP!!
Tim: The webiste for Masochists everywhere...

>Time literaly freezed that moment, Felicia with her strong paw, Kogi/Kuro
>hurted by the hit,and Lita Exalted by the scene.

Tim: Glory Halleluiah! We're being two timed! Isn't that just LOVELY?

>"You bastard!!!!" Said Felicia with her teeth clenched and her fist
>heavily closed,

Graham: (looking at a list) ...Nope, his parents were firmly in wedlock when he was born. Sorry, insult invalid.

>"How could you do this to me Kuro!!!??" Lita gasped "Kuro? but aren't
>you Kogi?!" Kogi/Kuro said "i-I can explain!!!" Lita stood up, "Son of a
>bitch!!! hya"

Tim: (looking at another list) ...Whoa. That insult IS legally valid! Whodathunkit?

>She punched him in the nose making it bleed.

Mark: Like it'd do anything else...
Tim: (The Nose) Hello my baby, hello my honey, hello my ragtime gal...

>That Kogi dude was playing with her feelings, At the same time, but
>with diferent names!.

Tim: No flarging DUH!

>Felicia was too Hurted to stay there, she ran off, Lita yelled "FELICIA!
>WHERE ARE YOU GOING! WAIT!" , Kuro/Kogi was still hurted for
>those 2 hits they made him.

All: (singing) If I new you were comin' I'd a made a hurt, made a hurt...

>Lita slapped him one last time and left, walking, Kogi/Kuro was left
>there in the bench all alone.

>Oscar was in his room Watching some recorded Ranma1/2 episodes with
>Artemis, when it was 7:33 pm.

Tim: Note to self. Check Oscar's site, if I can ever find it, for a Ranma crossover. If one is there, and especially if it involves Ranma-chan, The rage of all immortals will not be enough to power the ki blast I hurl at Oscar.

>when the tape finished, Oscar stood up and stretched, and said
>"Artemis....ahummmm i wanna take a walk, And i'm gonna return late
>ok? so you don't wait me" Artemis was side layed on the bed, and
>smiled at Oscar "Ok," he yawned.

Graham: I'm sure if that made any sense, I would've understood it...

>Oscar putted on his shirt, jeans, and tennis,

Graham: Is there a golf course on his clothing?
Tim: I say the fic, It has enough holes in it for a couple... and Tennis? Must mean a racket, cuz he got no balls.

>he left the house. He was worried about something....something he couldn't
>excactly pin down,

>his mind was racing on why he was worried. "Oh...It's been pretty strange
>lately" He said to himself as he was in a lonely sidewalk.

Mark: But that's only because my classmates try to kill me everyday.

>He turned around the corner, he had his face looking down, and when he
>looked straight, there she was Felicia under a lightpost, lonely and sad.

All: Awww... isn't that Cliche?

>Oscar tought "Huh? Felicia here?" He got closer and said "Felicia" She
>then looked at him, and with a weakly voice said "Oscar....waaahhh"

Graham: (Oscar) Whoa, it usually takes longer for them to cry at the sight of me! It must be the Cologne I putted on!
Tim: (Cologne) Put me down, you stupid hermaphrodite, before I Amiguriken you into celibacy!

>She began crying, and went ot his side, Oscar hugged her, and parted her
>off him by her shoulders "What happened?!" Oscar asked Felicia, worried
>about her

>"Kuro....he...he was with Lita!! waaahh" Oscar gasped "NANI!? i mean
>huh?

Tim: Wait she actually says "waaaaah" when she cries? either this is overacting, or somebody spiked her drinks.
Graham: I'll check the litterbox for clues... On second thought, you do it Mark.

>with Lita? i tought Lita had already a boyfriend" Felicia looked at him,
>with tears roling down her cheeks

>"Yes...but...Kuro is Kogi! he played with us all along!!"

Tim: First we played Shogi, then Strip Poker, then Spin the Bottle, then Seven Minutes in Heaven...

>Oscar turned his face to the side and with a Worried look he tought "Oh
>God!"

Tim: After Oscar's writing Artemis's lover, and being proud of it, I doubt God would be oh so happy to answer this hermaphrodite's beck and call.

>Felicia still cring said to him "Please...help me..." Oscar looked down to
>Felicia "How?"

Tim: Sell me beachfront property in Iowa!

>She responded "Please...make me forget him.."

Graham: Shampoo formula 411...
Mark: Memory charms...
Tim: A solid blow to the head...

>Oscar gasped "Huh? Are you sure? with me?" Felicia hugged Oscar
>softly "Yes...only with you it'll be alright"

All: (Laughing)
Tim: (handing asscheek to Graham) Here, I beleive you dropped this

>Oscar gulped and closed his eyes

Graham: And then the predator took THAT moment to strike, taking the skull of a hermaphrodite for its trophy case!
Tim: Well, We can all dream, at least...

>"Very well then..." Felicia weakly smiled as she parted from Oscar.

>Oscar walked Felicia home, when they arrived, Felicia got off her
>clothes, and was only in her remaining fur. Oscar went-wide eyed,

Graham: Doesn't Felicia live with a computer nerd in a huge house?
Tim: I can just imagine his surprise in walking in on them "BAD KITTY! BAD! NO FUCKING HERMAPHRODITES IN MY ROOM, AND YOU KNOW IT!"
Graham: Ear...Drum...
Mark: Skull...

>after they got ot her room, they sat on the bed. Felicia was a little
>nervous, but all of her stress went off, as Oscar caressed her hair,

Graham: Off to see the wizard?
Tim: Off on a tangent?
Mark: Off the wall?

>Felicia layed on the bed. He looked her straight in the eyes, as Oscar
>got closer and kissed her passionately, she felt completely absorved by
>the kiss, she never felt this good on her life.

Tim: She's had a DAMN patheitc life then...
Mark: I'm really beggining to see what you mean about Oscar, Tim...

>Oscar's right hand went south caressing all of Felicia's part along the way,

Graham: It went to Jamaica, Mon!

>and reached her pussy, her nipples hardened instantly and were visible, He
>began stroking her pussy.

Tim: I am reminded of a Jonny Carson moment. (Zsa Zsa): Do you want to pet my pussy? (Carson): I will if you'll get that damn CAT out of the way.

>He then parted from Felicia's mouth, as he now started licking her large firm
>breasts, while massaging them with his left hand, he kept stroking her wet
>virgin pussy, and Felicia moaned and her breathing came in short gasps,
>with her eyes closed.

Graham: Why does he think they're all virgins?
Tim: Especially when they are cats? I mean mating season folks! HEAT, ever heard of it?

>Oscar kept licking her chest, in little circles and reaching her right
>nipple, while a thumb was teasing her left nipple, she let out a loud
>moan "Ahhh...Ughhmmm"

Tim: Too, damn hard, you sorry excuse for a hermpaphrodite!

>Her pussy was letting out her juice, and Oscar's fingers where being

Graham: Where being now? Meesa not knowing!

>soaked by them, he easily darted his finger into her, teasing her pink
>swollen clit. Felicia moaned louder, her aching tits heaving,

>Oscar then went to her crotch, took his finger out and started to lick
>her outer cunt lips, and eventually worked on into her inner lips.

Tim: At least he's learned some biological details since last time...

>Her warm juice was filling Oscar's mouth, while he flickered her clit
>with his tounge,

Graham: Hey, the fic's on the blink
Mark: Let's hope for a total blackout...

>she was now spasming, breathing rapidly. Oscar smiled, suddenly Felicia
>sat, and grabbed Oscar by his shirt, unbuttoning it, and taking it off. Oscar
>didn't do nothing to stop her.

Tim: So he DID do something to stop her.

>She then unbuttoned his jeans, pulling them down and revealing unly a
>white undie wich was wet in the 2 genital parts area. Felicia shredded
>Oscar's undies, he blushed as he saw his rock hard cock up, and his
>pussy, all wet and pink

Graham: This guy likes having his underwear ripped apart.
Tim: Hmmm... one slight innacuracy, that's ALL I'm asking for...

(Due to an interdimensional Time flux, we are unable to bring you the lemon portion of this fanfic. We hope you appreciate what we have just done for you)

>Felicia fell on the bed exhausted, and Oscar layed on her side, gasping
>for air,

>barely staying awake, flat on their backs. "Felicia.....that was marvelous,
>you were purrfect" Oscar said still exhausted,

All: (groan, and a sweatdrop the size of Alaska)

>"Thanks dear Oscie..." Felicia responded. Oscar then said "But, i can't
>stay...remember that you must never give up, you'll find your true blue
>prince someday..."

Tim: NANIQUEWHAT? True Blue Prince?

>Felicia weakly smiled "Ok...Thanks" She eventually fell asleep. Oscar
>got up, after Felicia fell asleep, he putted on his clothes again,

Mark: FORE!
Tim: If you haveta yell Fore when you put, Mark, you must suck ass at golf...

>and left. Oscar knew that Artemis would notice Felicia's scent and know
>what happened, So he got an idea. He went into some alleys and fought
>fierce street dogs,

Tim: Anyone notice that "fierce" is Oscar's favorite adjective this fic?

>so he could get their scent and disipate Felicia's scence.

Tim: So he'd rather have Artmeis beleive that He'd fucked a bunch of dogs, rather than a catwoman... right...

>"Alright!" He said as he left a pile of dead dogs in an alley.

Graham: He's willing to commit multiple murder JUST so that he doesn't have a spat with his boyfriend in an SI fic...
Tim: I stopped tallying long ago. It's redundant to keep track now.

>He got home, and when he opened the door, Artemis was asleep. He
>woke up to the smell of something disguisting "Eeww what reeks?" he
>asked to himself,

>then Oscar entered the room all soiled and stniky

Graham: Stniky... look it up, somebody
Tim: Stnicky- adjective- utterly and completely without the ability to write even decent works of fiction. See also: Oscar, Jacob Orravan, a good half of the people on Fanfiction.net...

>"Oh man! what happened?" Asked Artemis still covering his nose
>"Agh i had a little fight with some alley dogs, and you know that they
>reek"

Tim: Not really... At least not compared to the stench of two people who've just boinked, they don't

>Artemis said "Ok, but take a shower would you?!" Oscar inmediately
>got to the bathroom, and putted the soiled clothes on the Laundry
>machine.

Tim: Well, he Bogied that one...

>Artemis doze off to sleep again, as Oscar finished his shower, and went
>with Artemis to sleep. The next monday, Everyone was walking to school,

>Lita was still a little depressed for what happened on Saturday,

Graham: Since she didn't get to kill something, I guess?

>but Felicia was smiling lightly. Oscar looked at Felicia and tought
>"Guess she alreday forgot about the heart break that Kuro left her"

>They all went to school, as another day begun.

>THE END.....FOR NOW!!

All: IT HAD BETTER BE!

>Well, sorry if i did 2 pages, but the first one couldn't resist all of the
>storie so i had to do it in 2 pages....

Mark: Resist?
Tim: Apt choice of words...

>sorry if i distracted you in the sex scene....

Tim: Actually, the distraction wwas welcomed, in diverting my attention from the sight of Oscar boinking felicia, that is.

>i tryed to spell check no promises! ^_^

Tim: Considering you just said "No promises" and the glaring amount of spelling errors. I'd say that's just bad BS.
Mark: It's over! Let's get out of here!
Artlu: WAIT! this is a double feature! Coming up... OSCARTOON!
Mark: NOOOOOOOO!

TO BE CONTINUED IN Mordancy Sarcasm Theatre 4000 the Special editions episode 3B!

Email at end of part B

Why god Why?

Redleader34 wrote:Why god Why?

You stole my line. Leaving me with nothing to act as even the faintest ineffective shield against the horror that is Oscar. I shall never forgive you, and after the ten years of therapy I shall require after being reminded of the existence of this foulness, I shall seek you out for my revenge.

I suppose this is a bad time to mention that Part two of this SE is his Looney/Tiny Tunes fanfic.

As for why? Uh.... it was there?

Ryushikaze wrote:I suppose this is a bad time to mention that Part two of this SE is his Looney/Tiny Tunes fanfic.

As for why? Uh.... it was there?

Such was obvious from the ending of your third installment.

My question would be why you inflicted this on us when there was already an MSTing of the foulness that is Oscar out there for the brave, foolhardy, and terminally unlucky to find?

consequences wrote:You stole my line. Leaving me with nothing to act as even the faintest ineffective shield against the horror that is Oscar. I shall never forgive you, and after the ten years of therapy I shall require after being reminded of the existence of this foulness, I shall seek you out for my revenge.

Yes, consequences, we know you were begging for Artemis' Lover, no need to pout