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[Dog Soldiers] One Shot: Restless.

Posted: 2007-04-07 04:49pm
by InnerBrat
It's not my fault I got a voice, honestly! This is hopefully not the start of me writing more fic for a movie that doesn't need it.

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The worst weekend of my fucking life was the last one.

Yeah, I know what you're gonna say there, but it wasn't meant to be. I was gonna die in Palestine or one of those places or maybe we'd have Falklands mark II and I'd be able to get some revenge for that Hand of God bollocks.

Or maybe some fucking Scouser'd bottle me in the gut after the Magpies had sent the Reds fucking down, man.

Either way, no way did I ever reckon I'd ever see a throw-in with one of me mates' heads. And all the time I expected to be shot or knifed or bottles or step on a fucking mine, I never imagined I would be fucking eaten.

If there's a worse way to go, I don't wanna hear it. Total bone, man. That what it was. Complete and utter fucking bone.

I can't believe I missed the footy for that shite.

So then I'm dead. Which I figure's better than actually being one of them, and then what?

Fucking nothing, that's what. I thought being et was shite, it's nothing to the boredom that comes afterwards. Out of all the fucking places to haunt as a restless spirit, I had to get stuck in this crappy burnt out shithole of a house in the middle of the Scottish fucking Highlands.

But I'm not fucking leaving. I'm not. I've got unfinished business, I have. Gonna wander the earth as a restless spirit until I fucking find out what happened.

Not the werewolves. I saw that shite. Saw the house blow up, saw Coop come out with the dog.

I'm not going anywhere until I find out the footy results.

Posted: 2007-04-07 07:58pm
by 2000AD
End of Dog Soldiers was one of the best visual gags ever, poor boke missed one of the best matches ever while getting eaten :D

Posted: 2007-04-07 08:52pm
by Kuja
Poor Joe. Though at least he got a good line in before he got scarfed down."

"You're right behind me, aren't you? .....I'm gonna fuckin' 'ave you!"

Posted: 2007-04-08 03:09am
by InnerBrat
Spoon got the best last line.

"I hope I give you the shits, you fucking wanker."

But then, Spoon was a fucking psycho. Joe just wanted to watch the footy, poor guy.

Posted: 2007-04-08 05:53am
by Ford Prefect
InnerBrat wrote:Spoon got the best last line.
He also got the chesiest, most excellent post-mortem one liner ever: "There is no Spoon." :D
But then, Spoon was a fucking psycho.
True dat. My friends and I are still impressed with how fast his stabbing was.

And Dog Soldiers fanfiction is perhaps the most random, and wonderful thing I've ever seen.

Posted: 2007-04-08 06:09am
by InnerBrat
Ford Prefect wrote:And Dog Soldiers fanfiction is perhaps the most random, and wonderful thing I've ever seen.
Yay! :D

It's mostly because I don't know if I should fictionalise or just link to the RP thread that this is sort of a set-up piece for >_>

Posted: 2007-04-08 06:58am
by Shroom Man 777
I really have got to see that movie. British soldiers versus werewolves?! Fucking-A!