TBOTH: Pandora's Box
Posted: 2007-11-25 11:05pm
I was a big fan of Knife's 'Battle of the Hymn' when he came out with it. So much so that it gave me an idea for another story to tell. Lonestar's sequel (another great read) only strengthened that. After sitting on it for a while, this is the beginning of it. I would just like to thank Knife for allowing me to explore the Hymn-verse a little further and hope I do it justice. As the last two outings both saw their completion I will do my best not to break that tradition (something I don't have the best track record with).
You'll notice that I contradict the original on some points. This is intentional, to show the different point of view and add a little flavour. Enjoy.
Adapted from The Battle of the Hymn, originally created by Knife
The Battle of the Hymn: Pandora’s Box
Mark Shantz
The Beginning of Things
I have been asked to write this account of my life and actions here on Terra, as all of the original, surviving members of what is sometimes quaintly referred to as ‘The Relocation’ have been asked. I understand this project is being done in an attempt to preserve every aspect of our meagre beginnings, so as to let no one ever forget the struggles that have taken place, the hardships that have been endured by great and small, the sacrifices of those that lay at peace in the Mounds of the First Ones. Those of our descendants that follow us must know with certainty that, as comfortable as we may become in it, we are not of this world, but forcibly brought, the purpose of which has never yet been discovered.
It is a noble effort and I will do my best to honour it.
For my part, my story is not one of a great commander of the Night Watch, though it entangles my life as it does almost everyone here. I did not sit on the council, shaping and moulding the course of our new civilization, though I have sat quietly in the chamber to watch and listen more than a few times. My story is not even that of one of our scholars at the University, braving to expand our sphere of knowledge and understanding in this strange (to us) new world. No. I am just a man. A man who has seen and experienced a great many things, and hopefully, will be remembered for his contributions and forgiven for his transgressions.
My name is Mark S. It was Mark on Old Earth. It was Mark on the internet message board which binds all of us Originals together in one way or another. Here on Terra, it is still Mark. I never had much use for ‘clever’ internet handles. I can be only but who I am. Though who I am is certainly far different now than who I was. As for the S? What it stood for is irrelevant. I am the only one here and there will be no others.
I am The Quiet One. It was on that ‘board of so long ago where I gained the title that so many still refer to me by. I took it up because it seemed to suit. Even there I was never much of a talker. It was only here on Terra, however, that the reasons and meanings for this seemed to be twisted, like everything else on this planet, into those much more grim. It was only on Terra that I ceased to speak almost entirely for a time.
This is my story. Learn from it what you will.
* * *
Sand and Confusion
There are two things that are common to all stories you will hear about the first days of our arrival; sand and confusion. Mine begins no differently. Even now I can still remember the previous day, my last day on Earth, in full detail. It had been beautiful; shining sun, clear sky, perfect weather, and I had wasted it completely sitting in a glass and steel office staring at paper and a computer screen. Even more waste on the commute. The evening with my wife and son wasn’t much different, taken up with various errands, chores and other banalities. When we finally put the baby down, watched some television and eventually went to bed ourselves, it had been a day sacrificed to routine and the mundane. The last one we would ever have on our real home planet.
Here I feel I must stop for a moment to address you, my reader. Already, I have probably used words and terms that you are not familiar with. I have mentioned things like computers and televisions that you will never see and may not understand. I will make no attempt to explain them here as they have no baring on things to come. I trust if you are interested you will seek out the meanings of these things yourself.
But I digress.
It was a cold, gentle breeze that pulled me grudgingly into consciousness the next morning. The full meaning of this - that I was somewhere outside and not in my bed - did not register with me until I tried, eyes still closed, to find some of my blanket to pull over me. Thinking my wife, Natalie, had ‘stolen’ all of the covering again and left me in the cold, I growled in my semi-conscious state and groped further. There must have been about five or six handfuls of sand dragged across my body before my mind finally caught on to what exactly it was that was slipping through my fingers. The dream of a normal life? That too.
My eyes opened slowly, still not believing what my sense of touch was telling me, and I saw Nat, still asleep, and I smiled. It must only be one of those strange dream sensations, like feeling like you’re floating, I thought. As my vision continued to refine, that rug was pulled right out from under me and I was left lying on the cold hard sand. That’s when the confusion set in.
I sat up with a start to find that not only were my blankets nowhere in sight, but neither was my bed, or my home for that matter. I was lying on a sand dune in the t-shirt and shorts I had worn to bed, one side coated with a layer of tenaciously sticking sand, and surrounded by a veritable sea of people I did not know.
“What the fuck?”
I couldn’t help the release of the question. It came as instinctually as the lurch to a sitting position that had sparked it. Nor could I help the volume of the question, which appeared to be loud enough to wake those in the general area around me.
Quietly, through the shroud of sleep, my wife gave a reply that must have been just as instinctual. “What? Is Finn awake?”
My mind reeled and I jumped to my feet with a rush of adrenaline. Our son! Was he here with us? Was he ok? In a panic I scanned the area, spinning where I stood, only to find him close to Natalie’s side, unmoving.
“Shit! Finn!” I was over Natalie’s prone body and at the boy’s side faster than my actions and words could startle her awake.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, thrown into as much panic now as I was. If she had noticed where she was yet, I could not tell. Though, that wasn’t exactly the focus of my attention.
Our baby boy, not much more than five months old, lay still on the sand. Quickly, I brought a hand to his little chest, feeling for the rhythmic signs of his breathing, and watched for any twitches of his face or limbs that would tell me that he was alright. At my touch he heaved a sign and awoke. He woke and smiled.
My held breath escaped roughly as I looked down at that wide, toothless grin. Nothing else existed around me. Where ever we were, whatever had happened, we were together and we were all ok. I sat for a moment, staring down at my boy as he began to grab for his feet and spit tiny bubbles from his pursed lips. I sat and simply breathed, until the revery was finally broken by Natalie’s voice.
“What... The... Hell?” I looked up to see here eyes fixed on the people slowly waking up around us. “Uh, Mark? Where are we?”
“Good question.” There was nothing more I could reply.
“Have you seen the cats?”
“I think the cats are on their own,” I answered, taking another look around. I truly hope that the two of them somehow managed to find some way out of the house. I cringe at the thought of them slowly starving to death. “We have bigger problems.”
And there we were. The three of us together, alone in a crowd of what had to be over a thousand people, surrounded on all sides by miles of desert. Neither Natalie, nor I could recognize anyone around us, and to make matters worse, not everyone was even speaking the same language. We stood together and watched silently as people from all walks of life woke to the sand and confusion. Finn didn’t seem to mind. All he cared about was getting his breakfast.
It was interesting to see these strange people that I would eventually come to know, slowly falling into line with me. There was nothing else to do but stand and watch. We were in too much shock. Most were born to this new life as I was, with nothing but a pair of pajamas or some shorts and a t-shirt. There were those less fortunate, however, that had opted to spend the previous night with nothing on. They had to rely on the kindness and generosity of strangers. Unfortunately there wasn’t much going around to be generous with.
There were also those who were much more lucky than the majority; the miss-match of what I could only assume were partiers who had been at it too hard and fallen asleep with their clothes on; the guy, fully dressed and still in his coat, who had obviously done the same (I think that turned out to be Kuja); there was even one fellow whose friends had taken the liberty to write all over his face. They certainly paid for their luxury with what looked like raging hang-overs but at least they had a pair of shoes. That was more than could be said for most of us.
That concern began to grow in me. I was standing on a sand dune watching the sun rise into a cloudless sky, just knowing that it was only going to get hotter and hotter as the day progressed, and that no matter where we went, it would be a long walk... and I was in my bare feet. No one else seemed to realize the problem. Not that I could tell anyway. They were all too taken by the confusion to truly understand the sand.
“Do you have any idea who any of these people are?”
The question had come from a blonde Englishwoman who had taken up a place to my right to stand as I was, staring into the sea of faces. She said her name was Deborah.
“Not a clue.”
It was at that statement, oddly enough, standing in the growing heat of the day, radiating up from the sand at the same time that it burned down from the sun, listening to the growing panic and despair, that the most confusing thing of all occurred. People began to recognize each other.
I will never know who it was that first made the connection. Most likely there are many that claim the honour. Whatever the source though, that first, single spark spread like wildfire across the crowd. It jumped from group to group, family to family, and suddenly, out in that impossible desert, surrounded by so many strangers, people didn’t seem to feel so hopeless. Somehow there might be purpose to it all.
What was the spark? A single screen name. An alias. A nickname. But when it was spoken it brought recognition and the understanding of a simple connection. We were not strangers after all.
“S D net.” I said the words with as much incredulity as wonder.
“What?” my wife asked up from where she was nursing our son.
“Stardestroyer dot net,” I answered, motioning with my chin to the throng stretching down into the bowl of sand dunes. “All these people are from Stardestroyer dot net.”
“Great,” she said, shaking her head and turning back to the baby. “Why did it have to be THAT message board?”
But it was. Not that it lifted my spirits all that much. We shared a pass-time and an interest or two, true, but what did I really know about these people? The character of these board members might not be in question but what of their families? Before, I had been at a party where I knew nobody. Now I was at a party full of acquaintances with only the promise of mindless chit-chat to fill the time. I didn’t see much difference.
Not that that stopped my wife. She was already banding together with the other nearby young mothers. I think they were forming some sort of Mothers’ Union or Baby Co-op or something. She was always the talker of us.
My thoughts were that things like that needed to wait until we were out of the desert, if that was at all possible, and I turned my attention to the largest dune I could find. Other’s had obviously had the same idea, as the top of that particular hill was already covered with people looking off in all directions. There were even those climbing on each others shoulders to get that much more height. It was one of these couples, a larger man with a smaller woman, that called down to us, pointing off into the distance.
“Mountains!” They hollered in unison.
That was all I needed to hear. In five minutes I had my family and we were on the move. Soon, everyone else was too. I’m told that there was a purposeful decision to gather everyone up and head for the mountains, that we were unified by the will of our first leader, but I never saw any of that. All I saw were people who had nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. When they heard that there was a chance to get out of the desert, they took it.
It was the getting out that was the hard part. These mountains were not just over the next hill. This was not a leisurely stroll. We walked hard. We walked hard all day. Walked under the blistering sun. We walked over the scorching sand. We walked amongst the sounds of whimpering, sobbing, constant complaining and more than a few complete and total meltdowns. We walked in constant pain and constant reminder of that pain. Still, we continued to walk, our eyes never straying for too long from the sharp, clear peaks growing before us. In fact, it was not until the strange alien sky overhead was beginning to turn to twilight that we finally reached the valley that we would come to call home.
What a beautiful sight it was. Despite the oddity of things to us - the blue grass, the purple trees - it was not a place of barren desolation, not the hell we had just escaped from. What I remember most was the water. The first stream we came across sparkled in the setting sun like nothing I could have imagined. Terrible burns covered most of my body, having given my shirt up to protect my baby, and I was dehydrated and exhausted. When I saw that stream I gave no second thought to wading right in, drinking until I choked and simply laying there in its icy embrace until the numbness had seeped into my flesh and I could feel nothing at all.
That was the first day. If anyone tells you that they don’t remember it vividly, they are a liar. It is said that time heals all wounds. It is also said that pain is an incredible teacher. The wounds may have healed but the lessons we learned that first day, about ourselves and about this planet we call Terra, would never leave the memory of those of us that had endured it.
I can’t believe that the night before I was worried about a goddamn report.
* * *
Might Makes Right
Death stalked the camp relentlessly in the early days, preying on the sick and the weak. I’ll never forget the first of us to go. The first to be buried in the open field, where the sun would shine down to warm them but where they could also find shade in the shadow of the mesa and have the wild flowers to keep them company. It wasn’t Dave, who I watched choke to death right in front of me from an allergic reaction to berries that the rest of us were eating perfectly easily. It wasn’t Mary, who was bitten by an insect the likes of which none of us have ever seen again. It wasn’t the five heart attacks that the doctor’s among us could not revive, nor was it even the diabetics, though they were a close second. No, the first was taken much sooner.
She was a little baby girl named Cheryl, three months old. She died of heatstroke from the walk out of the desert on that first day. She never had a chance, though she has since been immortalized in our hearts and minds as the first among the mounds. She was not a hero, nor was she a leader, but she was the first.
And a fitting welcome it was to the hardships that were to come. As I said, Death stalked among us and it only served to sew greater and greater discord and unease. We were cold and hungry and tired and we had no answers as to why we were even here. We were disjointed, held together only by the fear of the unknown that lurked mere inches away from the campfires. For the longest time we could do little more than simply survive.
Time seems to lose its meaning when your only goal is to keep yourself and your family alive. I can not say how long it was that we remained like this. Months? I know that the season changed from Spring to Summer. We dragged fallen tree limbs from the forests on the western slopes of the valley to build rudimentary huts and lean-toes in the fields by the river. We built fires. We foraged for food, learning the hard way as we went what we could and could not eat. We even began to hunt and bring in small game. Day in and day out we did this, all of us, lulling ourselves into a kind of mental sleep. Survival was our only concern and for most of us, it was not something we had ever faced before.
Perhaps it was because we had finally gained a modicum of victory over our environment that we pulled ourselves out of this funk, this mental haze. Our fires were lite, our stomachs were full, and we were able to sleep through the warm nights. Perhaps it was simply that we were blessed with an abundant Summer and did not have to work as hard for these things. Whatever the reason, the time came that we finally yearned for more than just survival. We wanted to regain at least a little of what had been taken from us - or what had been left behind, if you believe the Interventionists.
Organization. A foundation to any civilization. The only way to get anything done on any kind of greater scale. To their credit, it was actually those men and women with military backgrounds that began to organize first, most likely because they were ingrained with that structured behaviour in their previous lifestyle, I suppose. What did they organize? Well amongst themselves they banded together right from the beginning to watch the camp by night, to be ready for the unknown out in the darkness, whatever it may be. I don’t remember anything ever attacking us in those days. But that was not the whole group of us and I can imagine somewhat second nature for soldiers. What was it that they managed to get all of us together to do? Nothing less than the first great hunt of the Taun-Tans.
I am sure you have all been told that it was these soldiers, the founding members of the Night Watch, that first went on the hunt and brought home meat for our fires. I am equally sure you have been taught that it was the meat of the taun, the beasts we now keep in herds and ride as our mounts, that was their prize. This is not the case. It is true that they certainly had the most hunting experience of us all, but killing an animal for sport with a rifle and running one down on foot with a stick and a rock are two entirely different things.
The facts of the matter are that while we did start to create spears very early on in our scrounging, none of the first were that good at anything besides poking a fire and none that used them were that good either. Bows? The first of those were a good effort but a complete waste of time and energy. We didn’t come across the spring tree, so named for the ideal energy storage characteristic of its wood, until later in our exploration and didn’t have resin for bowstrings until much later after that. I will not even go into the creation of the first arrows or their heads. Suffice it to say, of the few hundred of our new tribe that had hunted for sport or sustenance in their former lives, only about half that did it on more than a casual basis. Of those, only an handful had hunted with a bow and only a few of those had any kind of skill.
No, as much as we depend on them now, the first meat brought to our fires was not that of the taun and it was not brought in by any great warrior of the Night Watch. The first among us to provide meat was actually some twelve year old redneck kid. I think his name was Bill, or Billy, or Mac, or Buddy, and he managed to catch a skeet on the head with a thrown rock. The little creatures are surely now as much a staple of our diet as anything, and though at the time many of us didn’t quite know what to make of what to us appeared to be a six-legged groundhog with a beak, it didn’t prevent us from trying our own luck. It’s odd to think how easily they took to domestication. Or perhaps how uninterested they are in escaping their coops.
But I was talking about the Great Hunt, not skeets. We had seen them ranging through the scrub trees of the plans around us for some time, almost taunting us with their bellowing calls. As summer wore on, the idea of the large animal and its abundant meat and fat, not to mention its hide, bones and horns, became too great to be sustained by the one or two we could manage to bring down at a time. That was when those who I mentioned earlier began to talk and to plan and to draw others into their schemes. They scouted and drew maps in the dirt and tried to convince everyone in earshot to lend their hands. I can freely admit that I, like everyone else, was sold.
We would surround them with our numbers, they said. Working together we would drive them over the edge of the gully to the north. We would be like our ancestors before recorded history and the prize would be well worth the effort. All most of us would have to do is walk and holler.
For the first time on Terra the ragged mob that we were acted as one, for a common goal that wasn’t simply survival of our immediate families. When we came back victorious, we celebrated for the first time as a community and not a camp of refugees. And it was at that celebration that people began to talk about the future and what was to become of us; of what else an organized group such as us could do. Here the discussions back and forth across the fire began to revolve around what sort of society we were to become, how we would govern ourselves and who would lead. I was not surprised in the slightest when, as days passed, our happy celebration broke down into one argument after another.
You would think that for many of us, those that had been directly a part of the online community known casually as SDnet anyway, the choice would be easy. Michael Wong, founder of that community back on Earth, had already proven himself. No more discussion was needed. Things are never that simple however. With talk of a leadership position, it was unavoidable that all the alpha males would come puffed-chests first out of the woodwork, some of them actually very capable people.
Each one of them barked as loud as they could and tried their hardest to gather supporters. All except Wong, I remember. He didn’t do anything more or less than he had ever done and didn’t say more of less than what was required. Thinking back on the situation, I don’t think he even really wanted the position. People just kept coming to him to make decisions.
Truly, our camp broke into a dozen different factions, split down ethnic, national, religious and political lines. Wong did not simply take the mantle of leadership and walk us to the top of the mesa, arms held high. Even if all the ‘Netters’ of the group had backed him from the start, which was not the case, that would only make up about a third of our population. Of the friends and family that made up the rest, many had their own ideas. Our newly found organization, our sense of community, soon crumbled and we slipped into the same old bickering that has plagued humanity for all of history. Bickering became fighting for resources, if not all out turf wars. It was ridiculous.
Luckily this didn’t last long.
A group of us were sitting around, talking about old Earth and I was trying to chip a rock into a spear head when Cyran began to sing just loud enough for the rest of us in the circle to hear.
“Walkin’ tall, machine gun man. They spit on me in my home land.”
Sure enough, we looked up and saw a man heading toward us that we had come to call ‘The Rooster.’ He was one of the Alpha Males; a corporate management douche in this former life, I believe, some Netter’s father. We called him The Rooster because he was a strutting loudmouth. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Unfortunately, he took that as a reason to single me out and sit next to me. Either that or I had been the target all along on his little fishing expedition.
“What you laughing at?” He asked, friendly enough.
“Oh, just Cyran’s singing there,” I smirked.
He looked around and tried to join in the joke but I was pretty sure he had no idea who Cyran was. I continued my chipping, hitting myself in the thumb yet agin.
“Listen,” he said, still friendly but his voice lower. “I’m told your wife is one of the Union.”
He was, of course, referring to the group of young mothers that had banded together to help look after each other’s children. I mentioned them earlier. Surprisingly, the name had stuck. If the soldiers were the first to organize the camp as a whole, they were surely the first to organize period. And they had been as firm a group as any from the beginning. Not to say that they didn’t have their share of politics. Believe me, I had to hear all about it. But situations like this make some people very tight-knit and they were proof. Natalie was indeed a part.
“I’m told,” he continued, “that she has some pull with them.”
“She likes to talk, yeah,” I replied quietly.
“Look, Matt...”
“Mark.”
“Mark. Sorry. Look, Mark, I’m trying to get support for my position, bring a little leadership and stability to this place, and I think you could help me out.”
“Is that right.” I had turned cold. The in-fighting and politicking was wearing on everyone and I was more than sick of it. He wasn’t the first to try to coerce or even bully me into supporting him either. Any of us for that matter. He did have brains though, wanting to play Nat like that. I’ll give him that.
“Yes,” he said. “Those women are more powerful than anyone else seems to think. If I had their support...”
“Sorry,” I cut in. “I’ve... My wife and I... have made our choice already.”
“Ah.” There as a hint of derision in that syllable, possibly contempt. “You’re a Netter.”
“Yep.” I hit my thumb again. It didn’t improve my mood.
“So you’re just going to follow along like this was still some internet thing? Have you even met Wong in person? I think I’ll talk to your wife directly. I’m sure she’ll be a little more open.”
I was finished with being civil and the annoyance and frustration at what I could see happening around me boiled over.
“Are you blind or just stupid?” I asked frankly, for the first time looking him in the eye.
“What?”
“Oh,” I feigned recognition. “It must be stupid than. I’ll speak slowly. This isn’t Earth. You can’t come around like this is an election, talking out of your ass about what you’ll do for the people and spreading shit about the other guy. Don’t you see what’s going on here? All you ass-hats are tearing this place apart. Wong is the only one who isn’t. More importantly, and you may want to pay attention here, right now Wong has the most power to back his decisions.”
“He doesn’t have any more power than anyone else!” the Rooster crowed. “You people are just used to him!”
“I’ll spell it out for you,” I sneered. “Jegs backs Wong. The soldiers follow Jegs’ orders without question. That is the only power that matters around here, right now. Frankly, I’m wondering when he’s going to actually exercise it.”
“You think so?” he asked. It looked like he thought he had found a leg up. “That’s not what I’m hearing. What I hear is talk of the army types picking up and leaving. They’re set to head out on their own because of all this.”
I didn’t know how to reply to this. He had me. If it was true. There was always talk of someone or another wanting to go out on their own but it never amounted to anything. It certainly wouldn’t be surprising for the soldiers to think about it too, but if so, none of the ones I knew were giving any hints.
“If what you hear is true.” It was the only thing I could think to say. “I haven’t heard any of it.”
“You’re not surprised though.”
“No. I guess not.”
“And?”
“I guess Wong better act fast.”
The Rooster left, somewhat more crest-fallen than when he had arrived. I never saw him again, though from what I understand, he did try to convince Nat of his position directly. He was killed in The Brawl not two days later. Actually, I think he was killed by an infection he got from a wound in that brawl but he’s dead just the same.
And what a brawl it was. As grand in its scale as it was in its stupidity. I didn’t see what actually caused it, personally, but the reports range from a murder to name-calling. What I do know is that almost the whole camp was swept up in it, in one way or another. Shelters were burned or trampled. Precious food stores were strewn across the ground or destroyed entirely. People who should have been coming together for mutual survival pounded each other like madmen. It was pure horror.
The clubs and spears we had used not long ago to bring down tauns in our greatest endeavour were now being turned against each other. People were swept away in the violence and simple release of their anger at the unknown forces that had stranded them. Those forces were not available so their fellow man became just as good a substitute.
Where was I in all this? Was I taking part in the mayhem? Was I trying to stop it? Shouting a voice or reason? Hell no. Like the rest of the sensible folks, I was keeping my family protected and trying to stay safely out of the way. Those of us that did so were the first to watch in awe the inspiring end coming to that terrible event. We were witness to the first application of that power I had warned about days before.
I don’t know what stopped the soldiers among us from leaving, for in years to follow I would learn that, indeed, their bags were packed, and I can see every reason for them to do so. I do not know what words were said beyond the ears of others or who said them. I do not know what loyalty held them to the rest of us, or perhaps just Wong. I only know that they did not leave and we were saved from ourselves for it.
It was a strange thing to see, the men and women who we called the Night Watch marching as one through the smoke and churned earth. Unshaven, unkept, dressed in patchwork hide rags and yet keeping step as crisply as any dress parade, with stone age weapons carried at the ready, it was like watching cavemen troop out of the mists of time to destroy all you had thought you knew about them. They passed us without a glance and cut through the mob like it was water. In their wake, all were left still and silent, one way or another.
At the time I had referred to it blithely as the arrival of the Goon Squad but to the credit of those men and women, there would be no more serious casualties that day. They kept their heads and subdued the crowd with a combination of restraining tactics, shock and a fair bit of awe. No one, no matter how tough they thought they were, had enough fight in them to think they could handle that force.
Wong and Jegs strode furiously behind the column, staring holes into anyone that caught their eye. When they reached the heart of the riot and silence reigned eerily over the encampment, Wong spoke to us as our leader for the first time.
“Everyone,” he shouted, turning a tight circle. “Enough of this! As your leader, decided by majority,” he let the claim hang for a moment, “I will not allow this to continue! I will not allow you to tear us apart from the inside! Not with everything else we have facing us. This division and in-fighting- and splintering of resources will stop now or I will stop it! Any further attack on our own people will be dealt with swiftly and severely. The last thing we need is more of our people there,” he pointed off to the mounds,” instead of here. And the last thing I want to do is be forced to order it.
“We have officially hit rock bottom,” he continued. “We are moving forward from here. I am formally creating a council to govern us. Its members will be chosen over the next week or so and we will all begin the process of dragging us, kicking and scream if need be, to some modicum of civilization.”
I listened to the speech silently, not entirely inspired. Talk is cheap. Would his actions play out the same? Though I had known this sort of display was inevitable, deep down I had hoped it wouldn’t actually come to pass. The first thing I had wanted for our budding new civilization had not been the need to police ourselves.
Besides, this was Wong. As I listened through all the lecturing and talk of the future, as he tried his best to rebuild hope for the hopeless, something was missing. It wasn’t until the end that I was finally rewarded with what I was looking for.
“Now for fuck’s sake people,” he admonished. “Stop acting like god damn, fucking retards!”
* * *
Each to His Role
It wasn’t long before newly appointed members of the newly formed council were dispersed throughout the rest of us, listening to our thoughts, complaints and ideas for the future. Dalton was the one to come around my end of the camp. Quite a group of us were gathered in fact, and I wasn’t the only one surprised that things were actually moving along. I made a point of approaching the man, much slimmer now than when we had met face to face in the desert.
“So how’s it going, Big Shot,” I joked. “You come to collect taxes?”
“Man,” he said in a low voice, shaking his head. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on any more than you do. Admin’ing a message board is one thing, but this? I don’t know how the hell to create a town.”
“Well, here’s hoping,” I said, falling back to let him address the crowd.
He scratched the bushy beard that had taken over his face, causing me to unconsciously do the same. “Ok,” he began, pulling out a roll of taun hide, a sharpened stick and a small, dug-out knot of wood filled with some ink concoction. “This is pretty straight forward. We’re building a civilization here and we’d like to make sure nothing is forgotten on our to-do list. We’ve got enough food, clothing and shelter to get by now, so we want to hear everyone’s opinion on what the next step should be.”
It was the perfect set-up. I couldn’t resist. “Kill all the lawyers,” I called out, shooting a wicked grin and a wink to the large man most knew as Stravo. Off in the crowd he shook his head and rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. It got the smattering of chuckles I had expected and proved to relax everyone at least a bit.
More seriously, I personally thought we needed to expand on what we already had. We needed to start some sort of agricultural program, to have a reliable, steady food supply, and we needed to build more permanent dwellings. I was tired of sleeping in a glorified tent and spending so much time searching out food.
Most of the comments were like this at the beginning but the session eventually broke down into a big wish list. People were talking about electricity for God’s sake. And glass! Priorities people! Let’s get four stone walls around us before we start talking about putting glass in the windows! I couldn’t get too annoyed though. People were dreaming and I couldn’t begrudge them hope. Even if I didn’t have very much of my own.
The next ones to come around took a census of who everyone was, what their occupation had been back on Earth, and what useful skills they had. This really started the ball rolling with getting work done. People identified with farming skills went to work right away (not that they already hadn’t really, to an extent) sectioning off land and debating over how best to grow these alien plants we knew so very little about. Those with construction and carpentry skills were also valuable. Though we didn’t have very sophisticated tools, they did their best to lift us out of the mud. Once it was decided where we were going to build, that is. There were others too, doing their best at what they did best, but I was too focussed on easier food and better shelter to pay attention.
There were quite a few people that were given a rude awakening in those times as well. Stoke brokers, bankers, corporate executives, accountants, marketers, computer technologist; all those once important people, essential to our old society, were reduced to having their expertise counted as all but worthless. The lucky ones were able to fall back on skills learned from hobbies. Many more found their uncallused hands reduced to hard labour digging ditches for irrigation or hauling rocks for construction.
Then there were people like me who fit in somewhere between. I was a mechanical engineer by trade. I worked in Building Engineering; heating, ventilation, plumbing, that sort of thing. On the surface this seems like a handy skill set to have when constructing a new town. Unfortunately, when most of the work you do is with powered fans, boilers and pumps, and you’re living in the stone age, things get a little soured. Open fire heating and natural ventilation were the order of the day.
I had two saving graces that kept my family from being moved to the burgeoning quarry. The first was plumbing design. One of the things on the top of everyone’s wish list was running water and some sort of sewer drainage. The second was the fact that I had once been given a book about engineering in the ancient world. I can’t tell you how glad I was to have actually gotten around to reading that. Not that I remembered it all, but coupled with the technical knowledge hiding in my brain, there was enough retained to make a difference.
And that was how I found my self charged with the ultimate goal of giving us back the magic and wonder of indoor plumbing. I wasn’t going it alone, sure, but at the time it seemed an impossible task, and they are still working on improvement after improvement to this day. Children do not believe how far we’ve come since then. How can anyone make them grasp how much farther we have to go?
It was decided by the powers-that-be that we would construct our permanent town on the mesa which had overlooked us since we had first entered the valley. It was the best defensible position, they had been advised by the soldiers. It afforded a view of the whole valley and gave only one location of access. I thought this was an incredibly stupid idea.
What did we need to defend ourselves from? None of our forays into the wild, be they for hunting or simple exploration, had yielded anything more intelligent than a pack predator. Certainly nothing sentient had been found. Even the large, dangerous animals, like razorbacks, that we had encountered kept their distance from the camp with its noise and fires. All this was accomplishing was making life harder in every other respect.
Sure, the surrounding land could all be used for farming, but how much land was our village really going to take up where it was? Now we had to get the crops all the way up the mesa. Not to mention getting water up there. The river had been right beside us and now we had to get it twenty feet into the air. A bump they called it. Yeah right.
At least drainage wouldn’t be a problem.
Easy accessibility to food, water, and fuel for fires, as well as a prime location to use the river for waterwheel power did not seem to win out against the threat of the unknown. We were moving to the mesa even if it was kicking and screaming. The decision was final and I was going to have to roll with it. I hate when people tell me to think of these things as challenges.
Not that I was alone in my endeavours. Not by any means. Jim Beers had to be the best job foreman I’ve ever worked with and Tom Lee had a head for engineering details that I never will. Together we took our deep breaths and tried our best to give what was being asked of us. I’m proud of what we did there at the beginning; how we answered our mandate while still being able to make improvements in the future. Nobody even thinks about it now but I guess that just means we did our jobs well.
Things were slow going at the beginning but increased steadily as we became more and more at home on Terra. I my mind there were three main advances that allowed us to improve so quickly; finding the spring tree, domesticating the tauns, and finding copper and iron in the mountains. The first and third seemed to happen while I was busy looking somewhere else, but the second I remember distinctly.
I was reviewing some clay piping that we were hoping to use when a boy came running to bring me down to the river where the farmers still camped. I was one of about twenty or so that eventually found ourselves standing around four wild tauns enclosed in a pen. Not really seeing the point of my being there, I asked the question.
“You said you had ridden before,” I was told. The four tauns had been captures and people were bound and determined to ride them. Everyone with any riding experience had been brought down to try.
There wasn’t a real rancher among us.
“Are you nuts?” I asked. “I’ve ridden horses, not god damn kangaroos! And I’m certainly not good enough to break a wild one.”
I’m pretty sure tauns don’t know what a kangaroo is bu they didn’t seem to like the comparison anyway. They grunted and pawed the dirt and one kicked at the fence. They looked at me as if to say, just try getting in here, just try.
By the time we were finally able to ride the beasts it was fifty nine days and forty seven broken bones later and one animal had to be put down from injuries it had given itself trying to escape. In the end, only constant passive contact and a lot of food were able to win them over. Most of the time was spent in a patience game. Most of the broken bones were received at the end when we were actually able to mount.
* * *
The Worst of Times
Once we were able to domesticate the tauns our world opened up so much further; we expanded our territorial range, we increased the amount of material we could haul, we increased the strength of our make-shift plows. Everything became easier.
Time was passing quickly now. I watched my son begin to crawl and then walk on this new home of ours. I watched him babble and then start to pick up words. Everything I did was for him. I had to give him a world where he didn’t have to live in dirt and disease, where death didn’t stalk constantly. My family was everything to me.
At our arrival I had risked poisoning myself to test their food. When provisions were lean I starved so that they wouldn’t. When I was bruised and battered after a hunt, I continued on so they would have more. I bled, I froze, I tried to ride a wild god damn taun, all for them. It was for nothing. Like some cruel joke, my whole life was taken away from me.
Jim, Hendrake and I (Tom was looking after an attempted at Roman style heating for the Council Building that was being constructed) had taken a crew up the northeastern slopes to Cody Lake where the river began, to meet up with the geological survey and mining camp. We were building them a trough system to help with separating ore, as well as hoping to plot a route for an aqueduct. It was ambitious, yes, but even at our slow rate of stone cutting and construction, the possibility of hand pumping water all the way from the river to the cisterns at the top of the mesa was looking even worse. At that point we had three basins, ten feet long by ten feet wide by about four feet tall, made of stones and clay, and being kept full by rain and good old fashioned manpower. That was energy we needed elsewhere.
Anyway, in those times, when a crew broke away from the main group like this, our families would typically come along as well, especially when it was going to be for an extended period. It was easier to take our tents and everything else with us than make new ones, and more practical to have people around that weren’t working directly on the project. They would be available to gather food and maintain the camp, not to mention to act as extra manual labour when required. Besides, no one wanted to be away from their loved ones for that long.
At any rate, we had been up at the lake for about a month or so when we first took notice of them. It had been the tauns acting nervous that had actually given the first signal, otherwise it may have been much later before we caught on. They kept very still most of the time, those creatures, up amongst the high rocks, and seemed content to only watch our strange activity. It was easy to miss them, too damn easy.
They looked outwardly to us like alligators, but had legs more like a dog’s and walked with a canine gait. The biggest we saw at the time was about five feet from tip of nose to tip of tail, but there have been larger since. We called then targs - another piece of fiction from Earth - but they are also known as mountain lizards or lizard-dogs, and when we finally spotted them we didn’t know quite what to make of them.
We were alarmed in the beginning, to be sure, but all they would do is sit there in the rocks watching. We threw stones, chased them away, speared a few (they taste terrible by the way) and yet they would always come back. The next day they would always be in the same spot, watching silently. All day, rain or shine, they would lay until dusk when they would all rise and lope away into the wild, only to return the next morning.
We set spearmen on watch originally, to keep an eye on them, but it soon came to feel pointless to us. Seven targs and all they ever did was watch from the crags above. In time we started to forget they were even there. After weeks of inactivity, the watches were reduced and finally ended. We needed the manpower elsewhere during the day.
It’s hard to say when they started to creep closer, it happened so gradually. One week they were sitting in the rocks on the slope, the next they were in the rocks at the base of the slope. From there it was laying out in the open, all in a row, just far enough away to be able to bolt back into the rough if needed. They became like just another part of the surroundings and we found ourselves at best ignoring them and at worst coming to think of them as tame. Even the tauns had gotten use to them at that point.
By the summer the beasts were sixteen strong, living among us, walking through our camp with impunity, yet still always disappearing into the wild at dusk. My son couldn’t have been happier. He loved animals and imitated the tauns and skeets and birds as much as he spoke real words. The targs seemed to be a personal goal of his. Without fear, he was determined to touch them and they were more than happy to oblige.
The events of the final day are carved into my memory like any of the scars that now cross my body. It had started more or less as usual; mundane. There had been an improvement in the cement we were using, messengers were bringing complaints that we were taking the best rocks dug out of the mines before they could get to Avalon, there was another collapse in the waterway where we were connecting to the side of the mountain; the usual. I kissed Nat and the boy good bye, told them I would be back for lunch and went off to reopen the trench yet again.
It had been a hard day. I never actually made it back at noon. In fact I hadn’t thought of anyone or anything but that trench the whole day. It wasn’t until mid afternoon that I was finally pulled away from what I was doing. It was the screaming that did it.
A woman’s voice, coming from the direction of camp. All of our heads came up at the sound of it, like prairie dogs. That single voice rang out again and again as we dropped our tools and started, ever faster, to its source. Before we were half way there it was joined by another and then another.
The targs had taken the children.
Lindar, who had been on daycare duty, was frantic and bleeding. At her feet lay one of the animals, beaten and dead, in its mouth one of our children. As soon as enough of us had arrived, she bolted in the direction she had been incoherently pointing, bare hands balled into fists.
The rest of us gave chase as best we could, not fully comprehending yet what had happened. Up the rocky slopes we ran, tearing our flesh in our haste but giving it no heed. Through forest and clearing we followed the beasts’ well worn trails, overcoming the slowest of them in our pursuit. Each one carried another, tiny lifeless body in its powerful jaws.
By the time we reached their den our rage and grief had reached its peak. It poured out of us like a fountain of blood and did not relent until our children, each under four years, were back in our arms. Not a single one had survived. Though our injuries became many and deep, we returned the favour in deadly kind.
It’s strange how some things stick out in your mind during traumatic situations. There I stood, drenched in stinking blood, watching Natalie cradle our son as if he slept, and all I could do was wonder when she had arrived. Uncontrolled sobs filled the air, mixed with Lindar’s dazed, blank-eyed, droning litany of explanation and apology, and all I could think about was how these animals had taken us in so completely.
It was the god damn waiting game all over again. Constant passive contact until we had become so used to them that we couldn’t possibly see them coming. The same god damn thing we had pulled breaking the tauns only turned back on us. I fell to the ground in a soup of grief, exhaustion, and utter disgust at how stupid we had been. We had allowed ourselves to believe they could not possibly touch us, that we were masters over all we saw like back on Earth. They has proven us bitterly wrong.
All of us were held silent under the spell of Lindar’s words in the dimming twilight as she related her tale, never once looking up from the dark ichor that still dripped from the make-shift club in her fist. I couldn’t forget those deathly sober words if I tried. They haunt me probably as much as they do her.
“I’ve been getting so tired of sorting,” she began. “I just wanted to give it a rest for a while.” Lindar typically sorted ore up at the troughs. She had a sharp eye and a new-found knack for geology. “I always like playing with the kids.
“Everyone was off and busy. Even the older kids were working around camp or off gathering food. Mary and Tom had gone to the outhouse. It was just me.” There was no blame in the words, or thought of excuse, but that didn’t stop Tom O’Brian from drawing in a ragged breath.
“They started wandering in as they always do, the lizards, nosing around the daycare fence, and I didn’t think anything of it. They’re around all the time. There seemed to be a lot of them but I didn’t think about it until they were pushing at part of the fence.
“I barely noticed it happening. I was too busy with little Jenny acting up and one of them who kept nosing around us. I kept pushing it away but it wouldn’t leave. When I finally had a chance to look up, I guess it was because it had gotten so quiet. When I did though, that part of the fence was down and all of the children were dangling from their mouths. They were just hanging there silent. It happened so fast and no one made a sound. Not one sound.
“All of their god damn eyes were on me, like they had been making sure of where I was and what I was doing the whole time. I look down at the one close to me and it’s snatched up Jenny. I was in shock. I couldn’t do anything except look from that one lizard to the others. And they were still staring at me! All of them!
“The children were all so quiet.
“I couldn’t stop them when they all starting taking off. All I could do was jump the one beside me and fight to get Jenny back. I killed it but then I couldn’t just leave. I had to wait for someone to come.
“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop it. I’m so sorry.”
Her voice was tired and broken as she relived the moments, but it did not waver or fall into weeping, even though tears fell from her eyes. With her last words, she looked at each of us, not imploring our forgiveness or understanding, but it seemed to me more to force herself to face us in her time of utter failure.
Of the eight children four years and younger who had brightened our camp, not one had survived. Each one’s neck had been broken quickly and cleanly. Later we found that our skeet coop had been cleaned out as well. You know this as The Incident at Cody Lake. Those of us that were there, that lost so much, don’t think words will ever be enough to label it.
Eternal vigilance they preached.
We would not be caught off our guard ever again, they assured.
Yet even in those noble sentiments, people tend to forget about unpleasant things that don’t happen to them directly. They push them to the back of their minds and don’t dwell on them. They disconnect. They lose the details. This is no exception. People take mountain lizards as pets now and act as if they were the dogs of old Earth. They are not dogs and those of us that were there, that lost so much, will never truly trust them in our midst. We are all waiting for them to choose their time and strike once again. They are patient creatures.
I had to be strong in the wake of what happened, we all did, but grief hung too fresh and heavy over our hearts. I tried to be strong for my wife, to give her an anchor for her sorrow even while I dealt with my own. It was not enough. Three days later, as we were all making ready to head back to the city to bury our so-innocent dead, my wife too was taken from me.
An asthma attack brought on by her uncontrolled anguish. So senseless. So easily prevented and stopped if we had the proper means. Here on Terra I had to watch her gasp and choke to death while I desperately tried to calm her breathing. Once again I felt totally alone in the crowd.
They were buried together, mother and son, along side the other mounds, their names scratched into rock as best I could.
I was totally destroyed. I could think of nothing but my loss. I could do nothing but mourn it. When all the friends and well-wishers left after the burial, I stayed, sitting next to the grave in unabashed tears. When the other parents left to consol themselves in private, I stayed. When night fell and the fang-beaks howled and even Lindar, who seemed determined to be the last standing among the mounds conceded the place to me and left, I remained.
For three days I remained, refusing to be parted from the earth containing my past and any future I thought I had. People would come and go, some offering words and sentiments, but they rang hollow in my ears. I paid them no heed, even the wisest of them. I didn’t even look up from the cold, unfeeling stone. People would come offering food. I ate it in silence. Someone put a blanket over me in the night. I don’t know who. It was no longer in me to fight the cold and hunger. That others would do it for me only danced on the edge of my consciousness.
One the third day, the voice behind me and to the side I recognized as Zaia’s. Her warm hand flinched as it touched my icy shoulder.
“You can’t stay out here like this any longer,” she said, gently but firmly. “We can’t just keep feeding you for you to sit and wallow like this. I’m sorry for how you’re feeling but you have to come back. We can’t afford this.”
I ignored her. I sat unmoved and unmoving as the numbness that had enveloped me spread to her hand and up her arm. She didn’t understand. How could she? But she hadn’t come alone. Another voice, this one deeper, reached my ears.
“I know what you’re feeling, Mark.” It was Stravo. “I’ve had to go through the same loss since being here. My daughter is back on Earth with her mom. I know I’ll probably never see her again. I’ll never know what she’s doing or how she’s doing. The worst part is, if she’s still alive - if any of them are - she probably thinks I abandoned her. I think about her every day but I still have to keep moving, keep meeting that next day. We’ve all lost terribly here, but we still have each other. You have to remember that.”
For the first time in days I turned my attention to the person addressing me. My neck was stiff and protested painfully for the effort but for the first time in days I actually felt the need. When I met Stravo’s eyes, full of patient compassion, my face was a mask of bitter incredulity and rage. The shock of it flashed visibly across him.
How dare he compare his loss to mine! How dare he think he could possibly understand what it was like to have everyone you loved taken from you right before your eyes! His daughter was on another planet, not dead! He hadn’t had to hold her broken neck! He hadn’t had to bury her and the woman he loved at the same time! How dare he try to coat that in some tripe about meeting the fucking day and feed it to me as if I were a child! The venom in my glare was palpable.
The large man in front of me caught everything rolling through my mind without me having to say a word. His features hardened in an instant
“You know what?” he said, turning suddenly angry. “Fuck you! You think your loss is worse than mine? You think you have it the hardest? Go fuck yourself. They’re dead but at least you got to spend every day here with them up until then. At least you got to be there with them during their lives. You think that’s worse than not being there at all?! You think that’s worse than me not knowing whether my daughter is even alive or dead at all, you selfish son of a bitch?!”
Zaia stood to the side watching the exchange uncomfortably, not knowing what to expect. Stravo and I stared at each other in silence for a withering moment, neither giving ground, the only sound the crunching of dirt as Zaia shifted her feet. It was I who finally broke the pause, my voice harsh and gravelly from cold and grief.
“At least you have hope.”
They were the last words I would speak in a very long time.
* * *
You'll notice that I contradict the original on some points. This is intentional, to show the different point of view and add a little flavour. Enjoy.
Adapted from The Battle of the Hymn, originally created by Knife
The Battle of the Hymn: Pandora’s Box
Mark Shantz
The Beginning of Things
I have been asked to write this account of my life and actions here on Terra, as all of the original, surviving members of what is sometimes quaintly referred to as ‘The Relocation’ have been asked. I understand this project is being done in an attempt to preserve every aspect of our meagre beginnings, so as to let no one ever forget the struggles that have taken place, the hardships that have been endured by great and small, the sacrifices of those that lay at peace in the Mounds of the First Ones. Those of our descendants that follow us must know with certainty that, as comfortable as we may become in it, we are not of this world, but forcibly brought, the purpose of which has never yet been discovered.
It is a noble effort and I will do my best to honour it.
For my part, my story is not one of a great commander of the Night Watch, though it entangles my life as it does almost everyone here. I did not sit on the council, shaping and moulding the course of our new civilization, though I have sat quietly in the chamber to watch and listen more than a few times. My story is not even that of one of our scholars at the University, braving to expand our sphere of knowledge and understanding in this strange (to us) new world. No. I am just a man. A man who has seen and experienced a great many things, and hopefully, will be remembered for his contributions and forgiven for his transgressions.
My name is Mark S. It was Mark on Old Earth. It was Mark on the internet message board which binds all of us Originals together in one way or another. Here on Terra, it is still Mark. I never had much use for ‘clever’ internet handles. I can be only but who I am. Though who I am is certainly far different now than who I was. As for the S? What it stood for is irrelevant. I am the only one here and there will be no others.
I am The Quiet One. It was on that ‘board of so long ago where I gained the title that so many still refer to me by. I took it up because it seemed to suit. Even there I was never much of a talker. It was only here on Terra, however, that the reasons and meanings for this seemed to be twisted, like everything else on this planet, into those much more grim. It was only on Terra that I ceased to speak almost entirely for a time.
This is my story. Learn from it what you will.
* * *
Sand and Confusion
There are two things that are common to all stories you will hear about the first days of our arrival; sand and confusion. Mine begins no differently. Even now I can still remember the previous day, my last day on Earth, in full detail. It had been beautiful; shining sun, clear sky, perfect weather, and I had wasted it completely sitting in a glass and steel office staring at paper and a computer screen. Even more waste on the commute. The evening with my wife and son wasn’t much different, taken up with various errands, chores and other banalities. When we finally put the baby down, watched some television and eventually went to bed ourselves, it had been a day sacrificed to routine and the mundane. The last one we would ever have on our real home planet.
Here I feel I must stop for a moment to address you, my reader. Already, I have probably used words and terms that you are not familiar with. I have mentioned things like computers and televisions that you will never see and may not understand. I will make no attempt to explain them here as they have no baring on things to come. I trust if you are interested you will seek out the meanings of these things yourself.
But I digress.
It was a cold, gentle breeze that pulled me grudgingly into consciousness the next morning. The full meaning of this - that I was somewhere outside and not in my bed - did not register with me until I tried, eyes still closed, to find some of my blanket to pull over me. Thinking my wife, Natalie, had ‘stolen’ all of the covering again and left me in the cold, I growled in my semi-conscious state and groped further. There must have been about five or six handfuls of sand dragged across my body before my mind finally caught on to what exactly it was that was slipping through my fingers. The dream of a normal life? That too.
My eyes opened slowly, still not believing what my sense of touch was telling me, and I saw Nat, still asleep, and I smiled. It must only be one of those strange dream sensations, like feeling like you’re floating, I thought. As my vision continued to refine, that rug was pulled right out from under me and I was left lying on the cold hard sand. That’s when the confusion set in.
I sat up with a start to find that not only were my blankets nowhere in sight, but neither was my bed, or my home for that matter. I was lying on a sand dune in the t-shirt and shorts I had worn to bed, one side coated with a layer of tenaciously sticking sand, and surrounded by a veritable sea of people I did not know.
“What the fuck?”
I couldn’t help the release of the question. It came as instinctually as the lurch to a sitting position that had sparked it. Nor could I help the volume of the question, which appeared to be loud enough to wake those in the general area around me.
Quietly, through the shroud of sleep, my wife gave a reply that must have been just as instinctual. “What? Is Finn awake?”
My mind reeled and I jumped to my feet with a rush of adrenaline. Our son! Was he here with us? Was he ok? In a panic I scanned the area, spinning where I stood, only to find him close to Natalie’s side, unmoving.
“Shit! Finn!” I was over Natalie’s prone body and at the boy’s side faster than my actions and words could startle her awake.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, thrown into as much panic now as I was. If she had noticed where she was yet, I could not tell. Though, that wasn’t exactly the focus of my attention.
Our baby boy, not much more than five months old, lay still on the sand. Quickly, I brought a hand to his little chest, feeling for the rhythmic signs of his breathing, and watched for any twitches of his face or limbs that would tell me that he was alright. At my touch he heaved a sign and awoke. He woke and smiled.
My held breath escaped roughly as I looked down at that wide, toothless grin. Nothing else existed around me. Where ever we were, whatever had happened, we were together and we were all ok. I sat for a moment, staring down at my boy as he began to grab for his feet and spit tiny bubbles from his pursed lips. I sat and simply breathed, until the revery was finally broken by Natalie’s voice.
“What... The... Hell?” I looked up to see here eyes fixed on the people slowly waking up around us. “Uh, Mark? Where are we?”
“Good question.” There was nothing more I could reply.
“Have you seen the cats?”
“I think the cats are on their own,” I answered, taking another look around. I truly hope that the two of them somehow managed to find some way out of the house. I cringe at the thought of them slowly starving to death. “We have bigger problems.”
And there we were. The three of us together, alone in a crowd of what had to be over a thousand people, surrounded on all sides by miles of desert. Neither Natalie, nor I could recognize anyone around us, and to make matters worse, not everyone was even speaking the same language. We stood together and watched silently as people from all walks of life woke to the sand and confusion. Finn didn’t seem to mind. All he cared about was getting his breakfast.
It was interesting to see these strange people that I would eventually come to know, slowly falling into line with me. There was nothing else to do but stand and watch. We were in too much shock. Most were born to this new life as I was, with nothing but a pair of pajamas or some shorts and a t-shirt. There were those less fortunate, however, that had opted to spend the previous night with nothing on. They had to rely on the kindness and generosity of strangers. Unfortunately there wasn’t much going around to be generous with.
There were also those who were much more lucky than the majority; the miss-match of what I could only assume were partiers who had been at it too hard and fallen asleep with their clothes on; the guy, fully dressed and still in his coat, who had obviously done the same (I think that turned out to be Kuja); there was even one fellow whose friends had taken the liberty to write all over his face. They certainly paid for their luxury with what looked like raging hang-overs but at least they had a pair of shoes. That was more than could be said for most of us.
That concern began to grow in me. I was standing on a sand dune watching the sun rise into a cloudless sky, just knowing that it was only going to get hotter and hotter as the day progressed, and that no matter where we went, it would be a long walk... and I was in my bare feet. No one else seemed to realize the problem. Not that I could tell anyway. They were all too taken by the confusion to truly understand the sand.
“Do you have any idea who any of these people are?”
The question had come from a blonde Englishwoman who had taken up a place to my right to stand as I was, staring into the sea of faces. She said her name was Deborah.
“Not a clue.”
It was at that statement, oddly enough, standing in the growing heat of the day, radiating up from the sand at the same time that it burned down from the sun, listening to the growing panic and despair, that the most confusing thing of all occurred. People began to recognize each other.
I will never know who it was that first made the connection. Most likely there are many that claim the honour. Whatever the source though, that first, single spark spread like wildfire across the crowd. It jumped from group to group, family to family, and suddenly, out in that impossible desert, surrounded by so many strangers, people didn’t seem to feel so hopeless. Somehow there might be purpose to it all.
What was the spark? A single screen name. An alias. A nickname. But when it was spoken it brought recognition and the understanding of a simple connection. We were not strangers after all.
“S D net.” I said the words with as much incredulity as wonder.
“What?” my wife asked up from where she was nursing our son.
“Stardestroyer dot net,” I answered, motioning with my chin to the throng stretching down into the bowl of sand dunes. “All these people are from Stardestroyer dot net.”
“Great,” she said, shaking her head and turning back to the baby. “Why did it have to be THAT message board?”
But it was. Not that it lifted my spirits all that much. We shared a pass-time and an interest or two, true, but what did I really know about these people? The character of these board members might not be in question but what of their families? Before, I had been at a party where I knew nobody. Now I was at a party full of acquaintances with only the promise of mindless chit-chat to fill the time. I didn’t see much difference.
Not that that stopped my wife. She was already banding together with the other nearby young mothers. I think they were forming some sort of Mothers’ Union or Baby Co-op or something. She was always the talker of us.
My thoughts were that things like that needed to wait until we were out of the desert, if that was at all possible, and I turned my attention to the largest dune I could find. Other’s had obviously had the same idea, as the top of that particular hill was already covered with people looking off in all directions. There were even those climbing on each others shoulders to get that much more height. It was one of these couples, a larger man with a smaller woman, that called down to us, pointing off into the distance.
“Mountains!” They hollered in unison.
That was all I needed to hear. In five minutes I had my family and we were on the move. Soon, everyone else was too. I’m told that there was a purposeful decision to gather everyone up and head for the mountains, that we were unified by the will of our first leader, but I never saw any of that. All I saw were people who had nothing else to do and nowhere else to go. When they heard that there was a chance to get out of the desert, they took it.
It was the getting out that was the hard part. These mountains were not just over the next hill. This was not a leisurely stroll. We walked hard. We walked hard all day. Walked under the blistering sun. We walked over the scorching sand. We walked amongst the sounds of whimpering, sobbing, constant complaining and more than a few complete and total meltdowns. We walked in constant pain and constant reminder of that pain. Still, we continued to walk, our eyes never straying for too long from the sharp, clear peaks growing before us. In fact, it was not until the strange alien sky overhead was beginning to turn to twilight that we finally reached the valley that we would come to call home.
What a beautiful sight it was. Despite the oddity of things to us - the blue grass, the purple trees - it was not a place of barren desolation, not the hell we had just escaped from. What I remember most was the water. The first stream we came across sparkled in the setting sun like nothing I could have imagined. Terrible burns covered most of my body, having given my shirt up to protect my baby, and I was dehydrated and exhausted. When I saw that stream I gave no second thought to wading right in, drinking until I choked and simply laying there in its icy embrace until the numbness had seeped into my flesh and I could feel nothing at all.
That was the first day. If anyone tells you that they don’t remember it vividly, they are a liar. It is said that time heals all wounds. It is also said that pain is an incredible teacher. The wounds may have healed but the lessons we learned that first day, about ourselves and about this planet we call Terra, would never leave the memory of those of us that had endured it.
I can’t believe that the night before I was worried about a goddamn report.
* * *
Might Makes Right
Death stalked the camp relentlessly in the early days, preying on the sick and the weak. I’ll never forget the first of us to go. The first to be buried in the open field, where the sun would shine down to warm them but where they could also find shade in the shadow of the mesa and have the wild flowers to keep them company. It wasn’t Dave, who I watched choke to death right in front of me from an allergic reaction to berries that the rest of us were eating perfectly easily. It wasn’t Mary, who was bitten by an insect the likes of which none of us have ever seen again. It wasn’t the five heart attacks that the doctor’s among us could not revive, nor was it even the diabetics, though they were a close second. No, the first was taken much sooner.
She was a little baby girl named Cheryl, three months old. She died of heatstroke from the walk out of the desert on that first day. She never had a chance, though she has since been immortalized in our hearts and minds as the first among the mounds. She was not a hero, nor was she a leader, but she was the first.
And a fitting welcome it was to the hardships that were to come. As I said, Death stalked among us and it only served to sew greater and greater discord and unease. We were cold and hungry and tired and we had no answers as to why we were even here. We were disjointed, held together only by the fear of the unknown that lurked mere inches away from the campfires. For the longest time we could do little more than simply survive.
Time seems to lose its meaning when your only goal is to keep yourself and your family alive. I can not say how long it was that we remained like this. Months? I know that the season changed from Spring to Summer. We dragged fallen tree limbs from the forests on the western slopes of the valley to build rudimentary huts and lean-toes in the fields by the river. We built fires. We foraged for food, learning the hard way as we went what we could and could not eat. We even began to hunt and bring in small game. Day in and day out we did this, all of us, lulling ourselves into a kind of mental sleep. Survival was our only concern and for most of us, it was not something we had ever faced before.
Perhaps it was because we had finally gained a modicum of victory over our environment that we pulled ourselves out of this funk, this mental haze. Our fires were lite, our stomachs were full, and we were able to sleep through the warm nights. Perhaps it was simply that we were blessed with an abundant Summer and did not have to work as hard for these things. Whatever the reason, the time came that we finally yearned for more than just survival. We wanted to regain at least a little of what had been taken from us - or what had been left behind, if you believe the Interventionists.
Organization. A foundation to any civilization. The only way to get anything done on any kind of greater scale. To their credit, it was actually those men and women with military backgrounds that began to organize first, most likely because they were ingrained with that structured behaviour in their previous lifestyle, I suppose. What did they organize? Well amongst themselves they banded together right from the beginning to watch the camp by night, to be ready for the unknown out in the darkness, whatever it may be. I don’t remember anything ever attacking us in those days. But that was not the whole group of us and I can imagine somewhat second nature for soldiers. What was it that they managed to get all of us together to do? Nothing less than the first great hunt of the Taun-Tans.
I am sure you have all been told that it was these soldiers, the founding members of the Night Watch, that first went on the hunt and brought home meat for our fires. I am equally sure you have been taught that it was the meat of the taun, the beasts we now keep in herds and ride as our mounts, that was their prize. This is not the case. It is true that they certainly had the most hunting experience of us all, but killing an animal for sport with a rifle and running one down on foot with a stick and a rock are two entirely different things.
The facts of the matter are that while we did start to create spears very early on in our scrounging, none of the first were that good at anything besides poking a fire and none that used them were that good either. Bows? The first of those were a good effort but a complete waste of time and energy. We didn’t come across the spring tree, so named for the ideal energy storage characteristic of its wood, until later in our exploration and didn’t have resin for bowstrings until much later after that. I will not even go into the creation of the first arrows or their heads. Suffice it to say, of the few hundred of our new tribe that had hunted for sport or sustenance in their former lives, only about half that did it on more than a casual basis. Of those, only an handful had hunted with a bow and only a few of those had any kind of skill.
No, as much as we depend on them now, the first meat brought to our fires was not that of the taun and it was not brought in by any great warrior of the Night Watch. The first among us to provide meat was actually some twelve year old redneck kid. I think his name was Bill, or Billy, or Mac, or Buddy, and he managed to catch a skeet on the head with a thrown rock. The little creatures are surely now as much a staple of our diet as anything, and though at the time many of us didn’t quite know what to make of what to us appeared to be a six-legged groundhog with a beak, it didn’t prevent us from trying our own luck. It’s odd to think how easily they took to domestication. Or perhaps how uninterested they are in escaping their coops.
But I was talking about the Great Hunt, not skeets. We had seen them ranging through the scrub trees of the plans around us for some time, almost taunting us with their bellowing calls. As summer wore on, the idea of the large animal and its abundant meat and fat, not to mention its hide, bones and horns, became too great to be sustained by the one or two we could manage to bring down at a time. That was when those who I mentioned earlier began to talk and to plan and to draw others into their schemes. They scouted and drew maps in the dirt and tried to convince everyone in earshot to lend their hands. I can freely admit that I, like everyone else, was sold.
We would surround them with our numbers, they said. Working together we would drive them over the edge of the gully to the north. We would be like our ancestors before recorded history and the prize would be well worth the effort. All most of us would have to do is walk and holler.
For the first time on Terra the ragged mob that we were acted as one, for a common goal that wasn’t simply survival of our immediate families. When we came back victorious, we celebrated for the first time as a community and not a camp of refugees. And it was at that celebration that people began to talk about the future and what was to become of us; of what else an organized group such as us could do. Here the discussions back and forth across the fire began to revolve around what sort of society we were to become, how we would govern ourselves and who would lead. I was not surprised in the slightest when, as days passed, our happy celebration broke down into one argument after another.
You would think that for many of us, those that had been directly a part of the online community known casually as SDnet anyway, the choice would be easy. Michael Wong, founder of that community back on Earth, had already proven himself. No more discussion was needed. Things are never that simple however. With talk of a leadership position, it was unavoidable that all the alpha males would come puffed-chests first out of the woodwork, some of them actually very capable people.
Each one of them barked as loud as they could and tried their hardest to gather supporters. All except Wong, I remember. He didn’t do anything more or less than he had ever done and didn’t say more of less than what was required. Thinking back on the situation, I don’t think he even really wanted the position. People just kept coming to him to make decisions.
Truly, our camp broke into a dozen different factions, split down ethnic, national, religious and political lines. Wong did not simply take the mantle of leadership and walk us to the top of the mesa, arms held high. Even if all the ‘Netters’ of the group had backed him from the start, which was not the case, that would only make up about a third of our population. Of the friends and family that made up the rest, many had their own ideas. Our newly found organization, our sense of community, soon crumbled and we slipped into the same old bickering that has plagued humanity for all of history. Bickering became fighting for resources, if not all out turf wars. It was ridiculous.
Luckily this didn’t last long.
A group of us were sitting around, talking about old Earth and I was trying to chip a rock into a spear head when Cyran began to sing just loud enough for the rest of us in the circle to hear.
“Walkin’ tall, machine gun man. They spit on me in my home land.”
Sure enough, we looked up and saw a man heading toward us that we had come to call ‘The Rooster.’ He was one of the Alpha Males; a corporate management douche in this former life, I believe, some Netter’s father. We called him The Rooster because he was a strutting loudmouth. I couldn’t help but laugh.
Unfortunately, he took that as a reason to single me out and sit next to me. Either that or I had been the target all along on his little fishing expedition.
“What you laughing at?” He asked, friendly enough.
“Oh, just Cyran’s singing there,” I smirked.
He looked around and tried to join in the joke but I was pretty sure he had no idea who Cyran was. I continued my chipping, hitting myself in the thumb yet agin.
“Listen,” he said, still friendly but his voice lower. “I’m told your wife is one of the Union.”
He was, of course, referring to the group of young mothers that had banded together to help look after each other’s children. I mentioned them earlier. Surprisingly, the name had stuck. If the soldiers were the first to organize the camp as a whole, they were surely the first to organize period. And they had been as firm a group as any from the beginning. Not to say that they didn’t have their share of politics. Believe me, I had to hear all about it. But situations like this make some people very tight-knit and they were proof. Natalie was indeed a part.
“I’m told,” he continued, “that she has some pull with them.”
“She likes to talk, yeah,” I replied quietly.
“Look, Matt...”
“Mark.”
“Mark. Sorry. Look, Mark, I’m trying to get support for my position, bring a little leadership and stability to this place, and I think you could help me out.”
“Is that right.” I had turned cold. The in-fighting and politicking was wearing on everyone and I was more than sick of it. He wasn’t the first to try to coerce or even bully me into supporting him either. Any of us for that matter. He did have brains though, wanting to play Nat like that. I’ll give him that.
“Yes,” he said. “Those women are more powerful than anyone else seems to think. If I had their support...”
“Sorry,” I cut in. “I’ve... My wife and I... have made our choice already.”
“Ah.” There as a hint of derision in that syllable, possibly contempt. “You’re a Netter.”
“Yep.” I hit my thumb again. It didn’t improve my mood.
“So you’re just going to follow along like this was still some internet thing? Have you even met Wong in person? I think I’ll talk to your wife directly. I’m sure she’ll be a little more open.”
I was finished with being civil and the annoyance and frustration at what I could see happening around me boiled over.
“Are you blind or just stupid?” I asked frankly, for the first time looking him in the eye.
“What?”
“Oh,” I feigned recognition. “It must be stupid than. I’ll speak slowly. This isn’t Earth. You can’t come around like this is an election, talking out of your ass about what you’ll do for the people and spreading shit about the other guy. Don’t you see what’s going on here? All you ass-hats are tearing this place apart. Wong is the only one who isn’t. More importantly, and you may want to pay attention here, right now Wong has the most power to back his decisions.”
“He doesn’t have any more power than anyone else!” the Rooster crowed. “You people are just used to him!”
“I’ll spell it out for you,” I sneered. “Jegs backs Wong. The soldiers follow Jegs’ orders without question. That is the only power that matters around here, right now. Frankly, I’m wondering when he’s going to actually exercise it.”
“You think so?” he asked. It looked like he thought he had found a leg up. “That’s not what I’m hearing. What I hear is talk of the army types picking up and leaving. They’re set to head out on their own because of all this.”
I didn’t know how to reply to this. He had me. If it was true. There was always talk of someone or another wanting to go out on their own but it never amounted to anything. It certainly wouldn’t be surprising for the soldiers to think about it too, but if so, none of the ones I knew were giving any hints.
“If what you hear is true.” It was the only thing I could think to say. “I haven’t heard any of it.”
“You’re not surprised though.”
“No. I guess not.”
“And?”
“I guess Wong better act fast.”
The Rooster left, somewhat more crest-fallen than when he had arrived. I never saw him again, though from what I understand, he did try to convince Nat of his position directly. He was killed in The Brawl not two days later. Actually, I think he was killed by an infection he got from a wound in that brawl but he’s dead just the same.
And what a brawl it was. As grand in its scale as it was in its stupidity. I didn’t see what actually caused it, personally, but the reports range from a murder to name-calling. What I do know is that almost the whole camp was swept up in it, in one way or another. Shelters were burned or trampled. Precious food stores were strewn across the ground or destroyed entirely. People who should have been coming together for mutual survival pounded each other like madmen. It was pure horror.
The clubs and spears we had used not long ago to bring down tauns in our greatest endeavour were now being turned against each other. People were swept away in the violence and simple release of their anger at the unknown forces that had stranded them. Those forces were not available so their fellow man became just as good a substitute.
Where was I in all this? Was I taking part in the mayhem? Was I trying to stop it? Shouting a voice or reason? Hell no. Like the rest of the sensible folks, I was keeping my family protected and trying to stay safely out of the way. Those of us that did so were the first to watch in awe the inspiring end coming to that terrible event. We were witness to the first application of that power I had warned about days before.
I don’t know what stopped the soldiers among us from leaving, for in years to follow I would learn that, indeed, their bags were packed, and I can see every reason for them to do so. I do not know what words were said beyond the ears of others or who said them. I do not know what loyalty held them to the rest of us, or perhaps just Wong. I only know that they did not leave and we were saved from ourselves for it.
It was a strange thing to see, the men and women who we called the Night Watch marching as one through the smoke and churned earth. Unshaven, unkept, dressed in patchwork hide rags and yet keeping step as crisply as any dress parade, with stone age weapons carried at the ready, it was like watching cavemen troop out of the mists of time to destroy all you had thought you knew about them. They passed us without a glance and cut through the mob like it was water. In their wake, all were left still and silent, one way or another.
At the time I had referred to it blithely as the arrival of the Goon Squad but to the credit of those men and women, there would be no more serious casualties that day. They kept their heads and subdued the crowd with a combination of restraining tactics, shock and a fair bit of awe. No one, no matter how tough they thought they were, had enough fight in them to think they could handle that force.
Wong and Jegs strode furiously behind the column, staring holes into anyone that caught their eye. When they reached the heart of the riot and silence reigned eerily over the encampment, Wong spoke to us as our leader for the first time.
“Everyone,” he shouted, turning a tight circle. “Enough of this! As your leader, decided by majority,” he let the claim hang for a moment, “I will not allow this to continue! I will not allow you to tear us apart from the inside! Not with everything else we have facing us. This division and in-fighting- and splintering of resources will stop now or I will stop it! Any further attack on our own people will be dealt with swiftly and severely. The last thing we need is more of our people there,” he pointed off to the mounds,” instead of here. And the last thing I want to do is be forced to order it.
“We have officially hit rock bottom,” he continued. “We are moving forward from here. I am formally creating a council to govern us. Its members will be chosen over the next week or so and we will all begin the process of dragging us, kicking and scream if need be, to some modicum of civilization.”
I listened to the speech silently, not entirely inspired. Talk is cheap. Would his actions play out the same? Though I had known this sort of display was inevitable, deep down I had hoped it wouldn’t actually come to pass. The first thing I had wanted for our budding new civilization had not been the need to police ourselves.
Besides, this was Wong. As I listened through all the lecturing and talk of the future, as he tried his best to rebuild hope for the hopeless, something was missing. It wasn’t until the end that I was finally rewarded with what I was looking for.
“Now for fuck’s sake people,” he admonished. “Stop acting like god damn, fucking retards!”
* * *
Each to His Role
It wasn’t long before newly appointed members of the newly formed council were dispersed throughout the rest of us, listening to our thoughts, complaints and ideas for the future. Dalton was the one to come around my end of the camp. Quite a group of us were gathered in fact, and I wasn’t the only one surprised that things were actually moving along. I made a point of approaching the man, much slimmer now than when we had met face to face in the desert.
“So how’s it going, Big Shot,” I joked. “You come to collect taxes?”
“Man,” he said in a low voice, shaking his head. “I don’t know what the hell’s going on any more than you do. Admin’ing a message board is one thing, but this? I don’t know how the hell to create a town.”
“Well, here’s hoping,” I said, falling back to let him address the crowd.
He scratched the bushy beard that had taken over his face, causing me to unconsciously do the same. “Ok,” he began, pulling out a roll of taun hide, a sharpened stick and a small, dug-out knot of wood filled with some ink concoction. “This is pretty straight forward. We’re building a civilization here and we’d like to make sure nothing is forgotten on our to-do list. We’ve got enough food, clothing and shelter to get by now, so we want to hear everyone’s opinion on what the next step should be.”
It was the perfect set-up. I couldn’t resist. “Kill all the lawyers,” I called out, shooting a wicked grin and a wink to the large man most knew as Stravo. Off in the crowd he shook his head and rolled his eyes but couldn’t help but smile. It got the smattering of chuckles I had expected and proved to relax everyone at least a bit.
More seriously, I personally thought we needed to expand on what we already had. We needed to start some sort of agricultural program, to have a reliable, steady food supply, and we needed to build more permanent dwellings. I was tired of sleeping in a glorified tent and spending so much time searching out food.
Most of the comments were like this at the beginning but the session eventually broke down into a big wish list. People were talking about electricity for God’s sake. And glass! Priorities people! Let’s get four stone walls around us before we start talking about putting glass in the windows! I couldn’t get too annoyed though. People were dreaming and I couldn’t begrudge them hope. Even if I didn’t have very much of my own.
The next ones to come around took a census of who everyone was, what their occupation had been back on Earth, and what useful skills they had. This really started the ball rolling with getting work done. People identified with farming skills went to work right away (not that they already hadn’t really, to an extent) sectioning off land and debating over how best to grow these alien plants we knew so very little about. Those with construction and carpentry skills were also valuable. Though we didn’t have very sophisticated tools, they did their best to lift us out of the mud. Once it was decided where we were going to build, that is. There were others too, doing their best at what they did best, but I was too focussed on easier food and better shelter to pay attention.
There were quite a few people that were given a rude awakening in those times as well. Stoke brokers, bankers, corporate executives, accountants, marketers, computer technologist; all those once important people, essential to our old society, were reduced to having their expertise counted as all but worthless. The lucky ones were able to fall back on skills learned from hobbies. Many more found their uncallused hands reduced to hard labour digging ditches for irrigation or hauling rocks for construction.
Then there were people like me who fit in somewhere between. I was a mechanical engineer by trade. I worked in Building Engineering; heating, ventilation, plumbing, that sort of thing. On the surface this seems like a handy skill set to have when constructing a new town. Unfortunately, when most of the work you do is with powered fans, boilers and pumps, and you’re living in the stone age, things get a little soured. Open fire heating and natural ventilation were the order of the day.
I had two saving graces that kept my family from being moved to the burgeoning quarry. The first was plumbing design. One of the things on the top of everyone’s wish list was running water and some sort of sewer drainage. The second was the fact that I had once been given a book about engineering in the ancient world. I can’t tell you how glad I was to have actually gotten around to reading that. Not that I remembered it all, but coupled with the technical knowledge hiding in my brain, there was enough retained to make a difference.
And that was how I found my self charged with the ultimate goal of giving us back the magic and wonder of indoor plumbing. I wasn’t going it alone, sure, but at the time it seemed an impossible task, and they are still working on improvement after improvement to this day. Children do not believe how far we’ve come since then. How can anyone make them grasp how much farther we have to go?
It was decided by the powers-that-be that we would construct our permanent town on the mesa which had overlooked us since we had first entered the valley. It was the best defensible position, they had been advised by the soldiers. It afforded a view of the whole valley and gave only one location of access. I thought this was an incredibly stupid idea.
What did we need to defend ourselves from? None of our forays into the wild, be they for hunting or simple exploration, had yielded anything more intelligent than a pack predator. Certainly nothing sentient had been found. Even the large, dangerous animals, like razorbacks, that we had encountered kept their distance from the camp with its noise and fires. All this was accomplishing was making life harder in every other respect.
Sure, the surrounding land could all be used for farming, but how much land was our village really going to take up where it was? Now we had to get the crops all the way up the mesa. Not to mention getting water up there. The river had been right beside us and now we had to get it twenty feet into the air. A bump they called it. Yeah right.
At least drainage wouldn’t be a problem.
Easy accessibility to food, water, and fuel for fires, as well as a prime location to use the river for waterwheel power did not seem to win out against the threat of the unknown. We were moving to the mesa even if it was kicking and screaming. The decision was final and I was going to have to roll with it. I hate when people tell me to think of these things as challenges.
Not that I was alone in my endeavours. Not by any means. Jim Beers had to be the best job foreman I’ve ever worked with and Tom Lee had a head for engineering details that I never will. Together we took our deep breaths and tried our best to give what was being asked of us. I’m proud of what we did there at the beginning; how we answered our mandate while still being able to make improvements in the future. Nobody even thinks about it now but I guess that just means we did our jobs well.
Things were slow going at the beginning but increased steadily as we became more and more at home on Terra. I my mind there were three main advances that allowed us to improve so quickly; finding the spring tree, domesticating the tauns, and finding copper and iron in the mountains. The first and third seemed to happen while I was busy looking somewhere else, but the second I remember distinctly.
I was reviewing some clay piping that we were hoping to use when a boy came running to bring me down to the river where the farmers still camped. I was one of about twenty or so that eventually found ourselves standing around four wild tauns enclosed in a pen. Not really seeing the point of my being there, I asked the question.
“You said you had ridden before,” I was told. The four tauns had been captures and people were bound and determined to ride them. Everyone with any riding experience had been brought down to try.
There wasn’t a real rancher among us.
“Are you nuts?” I asked. “I’ve ridden horses, not god damn kangaroos! And I’m certainly not good enough to break a wild one.”
I’m pretty sure tauns don’t know what a kangaroo is bu they didn’t seem to like the comparison anyway. They grunted and pawed the dirt and one kicked at the fence. They looked at me as if to say, just try getting in here, just try.
By the time we were finally able to ride the beasts it was fifty nine days and forty seven broken bones later and one animal had to be put down from injuries it had given itself trying to escape. In the end, only constant passive contact and a lot of food were able to win them over. Most of the time was spent in a patience game. Most of the broken bones were received at the end when we were actually able to mount.
* * *
The Worst of Times
Once we were able to domesticate the tauns our world opened up so much further; we expanded our territorial range, we increased the amount of material we could haul, we increased the strength of our make-shift plows. Everything became easier.
Time was passing quickly now. I watched my son begin to crawl and then walk on this new home of ours. I watched him babble and then start to pick up words. Everything I did was for him. I had to give him a world where he didn’t have to live in dirt and disease, where death didn’t stalk constantly. My family was everything to me.
At our arrival I had risked poisoning myself to test their food. When provisions were lean I starved so that they wouldn’t. When I was bruised and battered after a hunt, I continued on so they would have more. I bled, I froze, I tried to ride a wild god damn taun, all for them. It was for nothing. Like some cruel joke, my whole life was taken away from me.
Jim, Hendrake and I (Tom was looking after an attempted at Roman style heating for the Council Building that was being constructed) had taken a crew up the northeastern slopes to Cody Lake where the river began, to meet up with the geological survey and mining camp. We were building them a trough system to help with separating ore, as well as hoping to plot a route for an aqueduct. It was ambitious, yes, but even at our slow rate of stone cutting and construction, the possibility of hand pumping water all the way from the river to the cisterns at the top of the mesa was looking even worse. At that point we had three basins, ten feet long by ten feet wide by about four feet tall, made of stones and clay, and being kept full by rain and good old fashioned manpower. That was energy we needed elsewhere.
Anyway, in those times, when a crew broke away from the main group like this, our families would typically come along as well, especially when it was going to be for an extended period. It was easier to take our tents and everything else with us than make new ones, and more practical to have people around that weren’t working directly on the project. They would be available to gather food and maintain the camp, not to mention to act as extra manual labour when required. Besides, no one wanted to be away from their loved ones for that long.
At any rate, we had been up at the lake for about a month or so when we first took notice of them. It had been the tauns acting nervous that had actually given the first signal, otherwise it may have been much later before we caught on. They kept very still most of the time, those creatures, up amongst the high rocks, and seemed content to only watch our strange activity. It was easy to miss them, too damn easy.
They looked outwardly to us like alligators, but had legs more like a dog’s and walked with a canine gait. The biggest we saw at the time was about five feet from tip of nose to tip of tail, but there have been larger since. We called then targs - another piece of fiction from Earth - but they are also known as mountain lizards or lizard-dogs, and when we finally spotted them we didn’t know quite what to make of them.
We were alarmed in the beginning, to be sure, but all they would do is sit there in the rocks watching. We threw stones, chased them away, speared a few (they taste terrible by the way) and yet they would always come back. The next day they would always be in the same spot, watching silently. All day, rain or shine, they would lay until dusk when they would all rise and lope away into the wild, only to return the next morning.
We set spearmen on watch originally, to keep an eye on them, but it soon came to feel pointless to us. Seven targs and all they ever did was watch from the crags above. In time we started to forget they were even there. After weeks of inactivity, the watches were reduced and finally ended. We needed the manpower elsewhere during the day.
It’s hard to say when they started to creep closer, it happened so gradually. One week they were sitting in the rocks on the slope, the next they were in the rocks at the base of the slope. From there it was laying out in the open, all in a row, just far enough away to be able to bolt back into the rough if needed. They became like just another part of the surroundings and we found ourselves at best ignoring them and at worst coming to think of them as tame. Even the tauns had gotten use to them at that point.
By the summer the beasts were sixteen strong, living among us, walking through our camp with impunity, yet still always disappearing into the wild at dusk. My son couldn’t have been happier. He loved animals and imitated the tauns and skeets and birds as much as he spoke real words. The targs seemed to be a personal goal of his. Without fear, he was determined to touch them and they were more than happy to oblige.
The events of the final day are carved into my memory like any of the scars that now cross my body. It had started more or less as usual; mundane. There had been an improvement in the cement we were using, messengers were bringing complaints that we were taking the best rocks dug out of the mines before they could get to Avalon, there was another collapse in the waterway where we were connecting to the side of the mountain; the usual. I kissed Nat and the boy good bye, told them I would be back for lunch and went off to reopen the trench yet again.
It had been a hard day. I never actually made it back at noon. In fact I hadn’t thought of anyone or anything but that trench the whole day. It wasn’t until mid afternoon that I was finally pulled away from what I was doing. It was the screaming that did it.
A woman’s voice, coming from the direction of camp. All of our heads came up at the sound of it, like prairie dogs. That single voice rang out again and again as we dropped our tools and started, ever faster, to its source. Before we were half way there it was joined by another and then another.
The targs had taken the children.
Lindar, who had been on daycare duty, was frantic and bleeding. At her feet lay one of the animals, beaten and dead, in its mouth one of our children. As soon as enough of us had arrived, she bolted in the direction she had been incoherently pointing, bare hands balled into fists.
The rest of us gave chase as best we could, not fully comprehending yet what had happened. Up the rocky slopes we ran, tearing our flesh in our haste but giving it no heed. Through forest and clearing we followed the beasts’ well worn trails, overcoming the slowest of them in our pursuit. Each one carried another, tiny lifeless body in its powerful jaws.
By the time we reached their den our rage and grief had reached its peak. It poured out of us like a fountain of blood and did not relent until our children, each under four years, were back in our arms. Not a single one had survived. Though our injuries became many and deep, we returned the favour in deadly kind.
It’s strange how some things stick out in your mind during traumatic situations. There I stood, drenched in stinking blood, watching Natalie cradle our son as if he slept, and all I could do was wonder when she had arrived. Uncontrolled sobs filled the air, mixed with Lindar’s dazed, blank-eyed, droning litany of explanation and apology, and all I could think about was how these animals had taken us in so completely.
It was the god damn waiting game all over again. Constant passive contact until we had become so used to them that we couldn’t possibly see them coming. The same god damn thing we had pulled breaking the tauns only turned back on us. I fell to the ground in a soup of grief, exhaustion, and utter disgust at how stupid we had been. We had allowed ourselves to believe they could not possibly touch us, that we were masters over all we saw like back on Earth. They has proven us bitterly wrong.
All of us were held silent under the spell of Lindar’s words in the dimming twilight as she related her tale, never once looking up from the dark ichor that still dripped from the make-shift club in her fist. I couldn’t forget those deathly sober words if I tried. They haunt me probably as much as they do her.
“I’ve been getting so tired of sorting,” she began. “I just wanted to give it a rest for a while.” Lindar typically sorted ore up at the troughs. She had a sharp eye and a new-found knack for geology. “I always like playing with the kids.
“Everyone was off and busy. Even the older kids were working around camp or off gathering food. Mary and Tom had gone to the outhouse. It was just me.” There was no blame in the words, or thought of excuse, but that didn’t stop Tom O’Brian from drawing in a ragged breath.
“They started wandering in as they always do, the lizards, nosing around the daycare fence, and I didn’t think anything of it. They’re around all the time. There seemed to be a lot of them but I didn’t think about it until they were pushing at part of the fence.
“I barely noticed it happening. I was too busy with little Jenny acting up and one of them who kept nosing around us. I kept pushing it away but it wouldn’t leave. When I finally had a chance to look up, I guess it was because it had gotten so quiet. When I did though, that part of the fence was down and all of the children were dangling from their mouths. They were just hanging there silent. It happened so fast and no one made a sound. Not one sound.
“All of their god damn eyes were on me, like they had been making sure of where I was and what I was doing the whole time. I look down at the one close to me and it’s snatched up Jenny. I was in shock. I couldn’t do anything except look from that one lizard to the others. And they were still staring at me! All of them!
“The children were all so quiet.
“I couldn’t stop them when they all starting taking off. All I could do was jump the one beside me and fight to get Jenny back. I killed it but then I couldn’t just leave. I had to wait for someone to come.
“I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop it. I’m so sorry.”
Her voice was tired and broken as she relived the moments, but it did not waver or fall into weeping, even though tears fell from her eyes. With her last words, she looked at each of us, not imploring our forgiveness or understanding, but it seemed to me more to force herself to face us in her time of utter failure.
Of the eight children four years and younger who had brightened our camp, not one had survived. Each one’s neck had been broken quickly and cleanly. Later we found that our skeet coop had been cleaned out as well. You know this as The Incident at Cody Lake. Those of us that were there, that lost so much, don’t think words will ever be enough to label it.
Eternal vigilance they preached.
We would not be caught off our guard ever again, they assured.
Yet even in those noble sentiments, people tend to forget about unpleasant things that don’t happen to them directly. They push them to the back of their minds and don’t dwell on them. They disconnect. They lose the details. This is no exception. People take mountain lizards as pets now and act as if they were the dogs of old Earth. They are not dogs and those of us that were there, that lost so much, will never truly trust them in our midst. We are all waiting for them to choose their time and strike once again. They are patient creatures.
I had to be strong in the wake of what happened, we all did, but grief hung too fresh and heavy over our hearts. I tried to be strong for my wife, to give her an anchor for her sorrow even while I dealt with my own. It was not enough. Three days later, as we were all making ready to head back to the city to bury our so-innocent dead, my wife too was taken from me.
An asthma attack brought on by her uncontrolled anguish. So senseless. So easily prevented and stopped if we had the proper means. Here on Terra I had to watch her gasp and choke to death while I desperately tried to calm her breathing. Once again I felt totally alone in the crowd.
They were buried together, mother and son, along side the other mounds, their names scratched into rock as best I could.
I was totally destroyed. I could think of nothing but my loss. I could do nothing but mourn it. When all the friends and well-wishers left after the burial, I stayed, sitting next to the grave in unabashed tears. When the other parents left to consol themselves in private, I stayed. When night fell and the fang-beaks howled and even Lindar, who seemed determined to be the last standing among the mounds conceded the place to me and left, I remained.
For three days I remained, refusing to be parted from the earth containing my past and any future I thought I had. People would come and go, some offering words and sentiments, but they rang hollow in my ears. I paid them no heed, even the wisest of them. I didn’t even look up from the cold, unfeeling stone. People would come offering food. I ate it in silence. Someone put a blanket over me in the night. I don’t know who. It was no longer in me to fight the cold and hunger. That others would do it for me only danced on the edge of my consciousness.
One the third day, the voice behind me and to the side I recognized as Zaia’s. Her warm hand flinched as it touched my icy shoulder.
“You can’t stay out here like this any longer,” she said, gently but firmly. “We can’t just keep feeding you for you to sit and wallow like this. I’m sorry for how you’re feeling but you have to come back. We can’t afford this.”
I ignored her. I sat unmoved and unmoving as the numbness that had enveloped me spread to her hand and up her arm. She didn’t understand. How could she? But she hadn’t come alone. Another voice, this one deeper, reached my ears.
“I know what you’re feeling, Mark.” It was Stravo. “I’ve had to go through the same loss since being here. My daughter is back on Earth with her mom. I know I’ll probably never see her again. I’ll never know what she’s doing or how she’s doing. The worst part is, if she’s still alive - if any of them are - she probably thinks I abandoned her. I think about her every day but I still have to keep moving, keep meeting that next day. We’ve all lost terribly here, but we still have each other. You have to remember that.”
For the first time in days I turned my attention to the person addressing me. My neck was stiff and protested painfully for the effort but for the first time in days I actually felt the need. When I met Stravo’s eyes, full of patient compassion, my face was a mask of bitter incredulity and rage. The shock of it flashed visibly across him.
How dare he compare his loss to mine! How dare he think he could possibly understand what it was like to have everyone you loved taken from you right before your eyes! His daughter was on another planet, not dead! He hadn’t had to hold her broken neck! He hadn’t had to bury her and the woman he loved at the same time! How dare he try to coat that in some tripe about meeting the fucking day and feed it to me as if I were a child! The venom in my glare was palpable.
The large man in front of me caught everything rolling through my mind without me having to say a word. His features hardened in an instant
“You know what?” he said, turning suddenly angry. “Fuck you! You think your loss is worse than mine? You think you have it the hardest? Go fuck yourself. They’re dead but at least you got to spend every day here with them up until then. At least you got to be there with them during their lives. You think that’s worse than not being there at all?! You think that’s worse than me not knowing whether my daughter is even alive or dead at all, you selfish son of a bitch?!”
Zaia stood to the side watching the exchange uncomfortably, not knowing what to expect. Stravo and I stared at each other in silence for a withering moment, neither giving ground, the only sound the crunching of dirt as Zaia shifted her feet. It was I who finally broke the pause, my voice harsh and gravelly from cold and grief.
“At least you have hope.”
They were the last words I would speak in a very long time.
* * *