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A few days ago, the LT and I engaged in a friendly little contest to see who could slaughter the bitchy troll, Mike_6002 the worst. The stories were judged by Keevan_Colton.. Be careful though, these stories arent for the faint of heart.

Here is my story:

Hello, there little mikie....

Mike is tied up in room with silver walls and ceilings, and a black white tiled floor. There are a few fluorescent lights overhead. It would be a nice room if it wasnt filled with the unspeakable horrors. It is also very cold, and mike is quite naked, tied down...

Snake walks in with a sadistic grin on his face. "Hello, mike! Did you sleep well?" He would respond, but he was afraid to bite down on the gag that snake put in his mouth, for it secreted acid every time there was the slightest bit of pressure on it. Mike had already learned this the hard way. Not only was his throat burned, but the skin on his lower jaw was literally hanging from his chin, with the bone fizzling a little...

Snake savagely punches him in the mouth, releasing even more acid from the gag. Mike screamed in a muffled voice as the skin hanging off his chin dropped to the floor. "You fucking idiot. I told you not to bite down on that! Snake paced around, inspecting his tools. "Well, I guess you just dont learn, do you?" Snake pressed a button on a nearby panel, causing the straps holding mike down to tighten even more. Mike broke out into a cold sweat. Snake produced a small tool resembling a potato peeler... and some nails... "This wont hurt that much, Mikie, until I stick them in your eyelids! Snake slowly but surely pushed nails above and below Mikes eyeballs, while Mike was screaming, and his gag oozing extremely low pH'd acid around what remained of his face, then down to his neck and shoulders. Mike was unable to close his eyes. Snake again brought the potato peeler tool to mike's attention, slowly lowered them toward his eyes, then slowly removed layer by layer of skin from his eyes. Snake by now had a huge stiffy. "This has been turning me on, Mike..." Snake pressed another button that flipped mike over. Snake disrobed and found his strap on... with razor sharp blades on the end.

Snake tried inserting the knife into mike's ass, but realized his ass was really, really small. Snake smiled, and found something that resembled a vice, forced the two ends in mike's ass, and forced his rim apart, slowly, painfully.... The sounds of mike's screams were almost drowned out by Snake laughing... When snake was finished, he finally inserted the blade into mike's ass, spraying blood out of his already bloody ass. Snake rammed the blade in harder and faster with every thrust. Mike was screaming while he was spraying blood from both ends. He swore he could feel the blade touching his stomach. When Snake pulled the blade out, bodily matter other than blood starting pooling around Mike's body, such as liquified bloody shit and stomach acids, with foods that werent quite done being digested.

Snake wasnt done yet... Before Mike started to die, Snake put Mike's cock through a meat mincer. Bloody strings of cock came through the other end... With mike still screaming, and amazingly, still being alive. Snake decided this was enough for one day, and put Mike in a wood chipper, feet first. Mike screamed louder then he had before in the two hours that he and Snake had spent together. Blood and bone fragments were spraying all over the far wall. Mike stopped screaming when the blades liquified his lungs. Finally, Mike was dead. Snake sighed, and collected some of Mike_6002's remains into a small bowl. He left his little torture shop, walked down the hall into another room.

"Hello, Darkstar! How are you today? I trust you slept well? You must be hungry! Here, have something to eat." Snake handed the bowl of Mike's remains to Darkstar, who eagerly devoured it. "We'll have fun today, Robert..."

END...

Here is the LT's kill art:

* Looks at what is left of Mike*
" Not bad Solid Snake you have the potental to go far in the Sith, but you still have a long way to go, watch and learn from a true master of the dark side."

LT.Hit-Man scoops up a bit of what is left of Mike and plops it down on the table, pulls out a big ass needle full of bubbling glowing green goo(re_anamator was suchh a kick ass flick) and injects the goo into the maimed chuck of meat that is Mike.
Slowly the moddfied re-animator goo starts to regenerate Mike undoing the damm age as painfuly as it was inflicted on him, filling the air with nightmareish scream of agony.
Once Mike was fully healed he looked around widly and shit himself when he saw the sacred faace of one very annoyed LT.Hit-Man.
" If you thought Solid Snake did a number on you wait untill you see what I do to you next you worthless torll.

With that said LT.Hit-Man slams a foot into Mike's knee caps shattering them in a spary of blood and hellish screams of pain from Mike.

With a flick of his hand LT.Hit-Man ripps off Mike blood stained cloahs.

" Now you wanted to fuck around with SD net eh now you will be fucked by the Dark side you pittful worm."

With that said LT.Hit-Man reached out with the dark side to leavate a huge brown chunk of something that had glittering bit on it and with a curel smile LT.Hit-Man force rams the forzen pice of wookie shit that is impreganted with glass up Mike's ass.

Mike starts to scream in troment as the peice of shit works it's way into his now bloody ass then without warning the blood shit is with drwan from Mike's bleeding ass.

" Hmm looks like you need some lube there Mikey boy hehehe ' Lt.Hitman says to the cowering Mike as he pulls out what looks to be a squrit gun and shoves it up Mike's voilated ass and pulls the trigger sending a stream of boiling lemon juice and rock slat into Mike's hellishly tortuered ass cuasing Mike to scream so hard that his voice box gives out.

" Only in the end do you come to understand the true power of the Dark Side." LT.Hit-Man snals as he force rams the forzen piece of wookie shit up Mike's ass then though his lower intestines and works it up and though Mike guts into his lubgs the glass shreeding a tortuuse path if distrcution tough Mike's body.
The last think Mike sees before his soul is feed to the Dark Side is LT.Hit-Man grining face, then everything fade to black.
However Death is only the begainign of Mike's suffering for he awakes to find himse;lf in the lowest pits of a Sith hell that is populated with the souls of all the dammed torlls that the LT had slugtered over the years each of them lining up to have there way with the Sith's new piss pot boy.
The end.

Keevan_Colton's Judgement:

The gloomy room was filled with many weapons arrayed around the walls, from a norwegian battle witch axe to a zulu Iklwas, in the middle of it sat one of the brotherhood...watching a pair moniter intently as the time slowly passed.
Carefully the figure in the gloom considered the view laid out before him...the slow torture of a troll...a classic sporting event throught the galaxy. Today his role was key...judge of the competition...
Time slowly rolled on, carried upon the screams of the damned...
Eventually both were finished and the time of judgement had arrived...the shadowy figure sat silently for a moment longer considering his decision.
"I must say that was excellent work from both...so much so I am tempted to call it a draw and insist upon a second competition using Darkstar clones...As far as innovation goes, the use of an acid gag on such a mouthy little troll is an excellent irony...but then again...he was also full of shit...so we're tied there...a couple of bonus points for creative use of a potatoe pealer to Snake, LT picks up similar points for delightful darkside refrences...I think though I must give this to Snake by the slimmest of margins...though LT certainly seems to have the best final solution..."
"Perhaps a best of three using darkstar and another troll of your choice gentlemen?"
He sat back into the darkness laughing softly.

you are the one who brought forth the plague of the care bear threads! it is you who deserveth a punishment most foul! lol

Somehow I feel compelled to live up to my name here...

Humm. I must insist on a rematch with patkelly clones.

Hmmmm.

I think the LT claims victory by actually sending Mike to hell.

Definatly need more enfortunate violence for the poor fucks. I personally would suggest...

Damn, can't find his name. He was one of the early trolls on this board. HE got banned for threatening to hacvk the board, and Mike had to ban most of the University of Arizona to get rid of the bastard...

Singuler Quartet wrote:Definatly need more enfortunate violence for the poor fucks. I personally would suggest...

Damn, can't find his name. He was one of the early trolls on this board. HE got banned for threatening to hacvk the board, and Mike had to ban most of the University of Arizona to get rid of the bastard...

Oh! Whats his face! Hmmm. Yes... I remember him, just not his name... He will die if there is a tie-breaker...

SolidSnake wrote:

Singuler Quartet wrote:Definatly need more enfortunate violence for the poor fucks. I personally would suggest...

Damn, can't find his name. He was one of the early trolls on this board. HE got banned for threatening to hacvk the board, and Mike had to ban most of the University of Arizona to get rid of the bastard...

Oh! Whats his face! Hmmm. Yes... I remember him, just not his name... He will die if there is a tie-breaker...

John Clark, the information can be found in the announcements forum

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=817

I was going to write a story....I'll do it......eventually.....I just don't feel like
writing right now.....suffice to say, it's going to be more cruel than either
Snakes or the LT's version

Sea Skimmer wrote:

SolidSnake wrote:

Singuler Quartet wrote:Definatly need more enfortunate violence for the poor fucks. I personally would suggest...

Damn, can't find his name. He was one of the early trolls on this board. HE got banned for threatening to hacvk the board, and Mike had to ban most of the University of Arizona to get rid of the bastard...

Oh! Whats his face! Hmmm. Yes... I remember him, just not his name... He will die if there is a tie-breaker...

John Clark, the information can be found in the announcements forum

http://bbs.stardestroyer.net/viewtopic.php?t=817

I checked there. I couldn't find it. Thanks, though. Definately should use that bastard.

Snake, just accept it, the LT has been at it for much longer than you have and has a natural advantage.

From the shadows a single figure stepped before him lay Mike6002....
"Mike mike mike.....you've been a very bad boy haven't you...."
The figure cloaked in darkness gazed at the worthless troll bound to the table before him. A million thoughts on how to deal with him raced through his mind....a million worlds of agony and torture to inflict upon him. Suddenly one in particular lept out at him.....he chuckled...a sound that sent terror to the core of mikes bones.....
"Well.....I do think we can teach you not to transgress any more my pitiful little troll...."
Mike gazed up at the shadowed face, the wicked smile earning a terrified whimper from him. The whimper turned to a scream as the figure produced a dagger from behind his back, he twirled it once infront of his face for effect, before jabbing it into the rough wood of the table beside mikes throat.
"I think we'll start by quieting you a little before the real fun begins...."
Matching actions to words he sliced the blade across the top of Mike's throat...sliting his vocal cords...cutting his scream into a whimper....carefully avoiding the major blood vessels....not wanting to cut the fun too short....he idly traced the blade down the trolls chest with a gleeful chuckle....
"Ahh...I remember roleplays of the past....as I recall....fire is the only sure way to kill a troll....."
As the shadowy figure said this he reahed a hand out into the darkness...gathering a blow torch from the tools hidden there....waiting to be used. He lit the flame, looking at the flickering light of the fire....mesmerized for a moment....as he aimed the gout of fire at the troll's feet he laughed....
"This, should remind you not to run around being an idiot....and this should remind you not to poke your nose where it isnt wanted...."
With that he flicked the dagger out again....cutting across mike's brow....letting the blood run into his terrified eyes. He stood back for an instant admiring his work before commencing again....he wiped his dagger and resheated it behind his back once again as he picked up a small hammer.....
"People, and I use the term most loosely...such as you....should not be allowed to type....to see to that...."
One finger at a time he brought the hammer down...shattering the bones as he went....humming a tune idly as he worked.....
"Now...only two more little tasks....."
He grinned wickedly...lifting a glowing red poker from a fire in the shadows.
"If you cant see you'll be far less of a nuisance...."
With that he burned the trolls eyes out with the poker. And placed a knife into the fire that the poker had been heating.....he chuckled....drawing the blade out of the flames and completed his final task....castrating the scum....
"Now....time to let you go.....enjoy the rest of your life.....may it be long and agony filled...."

- My little contribution to troll torture....

Not bad Keevan not bad at all
Any way it's time to get this damm show on road sooooo...


DarkStar A.K.A. Dorkstar A.K.A. G2k A.K.A. the low down sone of a bitch that should be shot and pissed on slowly opened his eyes as unknown to him the last day of his life was begaining.

After a quick shit, shower and a shave he walked down to the kichen of his apartment and was begainin to get the things he would need to make his breakfast, waffle iron eggs milk and the like, after pluging in the waffle iron he begain to make the waffle batter as it heated up.

There however was a dark and sinster looking figuer standing on the balconey of his apartment with a very cruel smile on his scared face.

" La la la la la la ." Darkstar was humminh the smurfs matrching tune as he conuted to mix the batter unaware of the hell he would soon find himself in as the sliding door of his belconey slinetly opened.

" Hey fuck face what ya making? " a low rumbling voice called out, scare the hell out of darkstar who droped the bowl of waffle mix that splatered all over the place with a slight scream and spun around to find himself face to scared face with LT.Hit-Man who was smiling at him from under the hood of his black Sith robes.

" What's the matter cat got your tounge? " LT.Hit-Man asked in a pleantly evil voice as he steped towards darkstar who was backing away from him untill he bumped into the conuter top, his left hand hovering over the open waffle iron.

But before Darkstar could move his hand away as the heat from the walffe iorn regstered in his brain, LT.Hit-Man arched an eyebrow, slamming the hot waffle iron closed on Darkstar's left hand with a force push letting out a small chuckle as Darkstar began to scream in pain as the air in the kitchen was filled with the senct of brunt flesh.

" Hmm a grilled chesse handslamwich eh? " LT.Hit-Man said as he stood over Darkstar who was rolling around on the kitchen floor in sheer agony with the waffle iron clamped on his buring left hand.

" Oh do shut the fuck up it's only a flesh wound for fuck sakes! " LT.Hit-Man snarled as he savagly kicked Darkstar in the ribs a few times before he crouched down and pulled open the waffle iorn, taking most of the brunt flesh of his left hand away cauing Darkstar to scream even more.

" You do know that these thing are realy high in fats right? " LT.Hit-Man asked Darkstar with a twisted smile.

" W-W-Why are you doing this to me for? " Darkstar wimpered as he clucked his chared hand to his chest as he fought to keep from passing out from the hellish pain he was in.

LT.Hit-Man's Joker like smiile grew when he heard that.
" Why ask why..well that because you where acting like such a fuck wit on SD.net and pissing off my friends that why you useless Hutt's puke stain." LT.Hit-Man told Darkstar as he began to rumage around in the kitchen for a few things.

" Ok fat boy it's time for you to work off some of that unsightly blubber "
LT..Hit-Man chakled evily as he put down the box of salt on the floor and begain to pull off Darkstar's fuzzy pink k slippers.

LT.Hit-Man pulled out a small black frist aid kit from under his black Sith robes , opened it and pulled out a wicked looking scalpile, enjoying the sight of of Darstar's eyes growing wide with fear and cut a long slit that reached to the bone in the soles of Darkstar's feet causing the troll to scream even louder, once that was done LT.Hit-Man poured half of the box of salt into one of the slits in Darkstar's maimed foot then the rest of the salt into the other slit as Darkstar passed out from the pain.

LT.Hit-Man used the Dark Side to block out the pain as he took out some sewing thread and begain to stich shut the terable wonds on DarkStar's feet once that was done he wait a few minutes before ddroping the force pain block and laughed aas Darkstar awoke screaming his damm fool head off and trashing around on the bloody kitchen floor.

" Ok pork-o this is the deal we're going to have a go at the old stairmaster, naming we're going to walk up and down all sixty stories of this aprtmet's stairwells and I would sugest you keep up the pace or otherwise you and Mr.Skippy are goin to have a realy hot tim together." LT.Hit-Man told Darkstar as he reched back under his black Sith robes and pulled out a blow torch, lit it with the plasma light in the middle finger of his cyberhand and ajusted the flame untill this was a long blue jet of hissing flames spewing from the blow torch.

" MARCH OR DIE! MARCH OR DIE! " LT.Hit-Man yelled in a low snarling voice as he chased Darkstar out of his aparment and up and down the stairwell and every time Darkstar would slowly down LT.Hit-Man would take the torch to Darkstar's ass and yell " Feel the burn baby, fell the burn! Nahahahahahhaha! "

Hour's later Darkstar keeled over as his heart begain to give out on him after having been chased by the loony Sith lord turned fitness instuctor.

As Darkstar's vistion begain to fade to blck the last thing he saw was LT.Hit-Man standing over him with that evil clod smile that was part and parcle of him.
Then Darkstar awoke to himself sitting in fornt of a rock in some Sith hell where he saw to his horror Mike being ass raped by the souls of all the dead torlls that the LT had killed and horrfic Sith demons who where joining in the fun.

" I thoughMike and his playmates would like to have a new friend to share in the fun and game, have fun and remember play nice. " Darkstar heard the LT say in pleasnet sickning sweet voice in his mind as the souls of the dammed begain to walk towards him.

Darkstar had time to let out one last terffied shirke that shook the very pits of the Sith hell before he was mob and left to a fate far worse then dead.

The end

weemadando wrote:Snake, just accept it, the LT has been at it for much longer than you have and has a natural advantage.

Uhm, i did expect this. I actually thought his was better than mine. I never bitched about it or anything.

SolidSnake wrote:Thanks, Ein!
the LT's fic made me laugh my ass off. I mean, a giant piece of wookie shit with glass! Thats just classic. I dont care if i win or not. This is quite fun

This is a friendly contest. It's not like I care if i lose.

Hour's later Darkstar keeled over as his heart begain to give out on him after having been chased by the loony Sith lord turned fitness instuctor.

*snort, chuckle, cackle*

Anyways, my story will be up soon.

SolidSnake wrote:Anyways, my story will be up soon.

Damn you, Snake, I thought it was up.

LT.Hit-Man wrote: The end

Nice.......

I put forth my entry.....

*****************

As the souls of the damned circled around Mike, ready to brutally sodomize
him with toilet plungers, barbed wire dildos, and other nasty implements of
death, a bright light suddenly came out of nowhere and transported him
out of Hell and into the middle of a field.

Looking around, Mike saw nothing but lots of trees surrounding the field,
which was out of season. It was then he noticed that he had been fully
healed by whatever force that had brought him here.

In front of him was none other than Mark Sheppard himself, along with
his associate, Col. Falkenhorst. Mike immediately dove to his knees,
ignoring the pile of cow shit he landed in, to try and lick Sheppard's
boots.

For his cowardly act of suckupism, he earned a steel toed boot in the face
from Falk that resonated through his empty skull like a gong, and with an
explosive *cruuuunch*, he felt his jaw shatter, along with several of his
teeth.

"Whuh--Wh-hha?" sputtered Mike as he tried to form words with his shattered
mouth.

Shep took out a hankie and patted his forehead with it. "Awfully hot
here in ALABAMA, isn't it Falk?"

"Yep." replied Falk, grinning evilly.

"Back to the topic, Mike..." Shep then kicked Mike in the nuts with his
left foot. "I'm tired of your suckupism. It's time to PAY THE PIPER!"

All the color drained from Mike's face. No...it couldn't be! Not after
all the pain and torture Solid Snake and the LT had inflicted on him!
His role model was abandoning him!

He let out a primal scream, ignoring the pain from his ruined mouth.

"Shut up, you scumbag!" shouted Falk as he sent his steel-toed boot slamming
into Mike's mouth again, knocking what remained of Mike's teeth out. Unfortunately,
before he could give Mike a thorough workout, Sheppard put his hand out in front,
motioning for Falk to stop.

"Now, now, my dear friend, We're here to give Mister Mike a chance to...rehabilitate
himself, not to inflict wanton pain and suffering on him." commented Sheppard in
a raspy voice, not much unlike Anthony Hopkins' voice.

Mike stared openmouthed at Sheppard.

"Yes, we're giving you a chance to redeem yourself in our eyes," continued Sheppard.
"All you have to do is retrieve that flag from that tower over yonder...."

With that, Sheppard pointed to a flag flying from a wooden tower in the middle of
the field, several hundred yards away.

"Once you have that flag, you have to bring it back to the farmhouse over there."

Sheppard then pointed to a small, neatly-maintained farmhouse about 500 yards away.

"There is no time limit. You merely have to show up at the farmhouse with the flag,
and all is forgiven."

Mike stared open-mouthed at Sheppard, his bloody spittle drooling out of his mouth
in an enormously long thread. "Well, what the fuck are you waiting for? Go to it!"
shouted Sheppard.

Mike turned around, and began bounding towards the tower, in sheer delight. The Master
would forgive him! Yayyyyyy!

He was so caught up in that, he didn't hear the explosive *craaaaaaack* of a
high-velocity rifle firing before his right kneecap shattered in a spray of blood
and bone.

Screaming in pain, he tripped over and fell face first into the muddy ditch that
he had been about to jump over. The brackish water felt odd as it hit Mike's face,
but that was easily overpowered by the pain, oh my god, the PAAAAAAAIN from his
shattered kneecap.

Sheppard watched Mike collapse into the ditch. Smiling, he lowered the smoking
M-1 Garand, and handed it over to Falk, who grabbed it and put a Model 700
into Sheppard's hands.

"Go get us some lawn chairs and hustle up some coke while yer at it. Don't worry,
I'll keep the little cocksnorter pinned down."

[Six hours later]

Mike moaned as he shat yet again into his pants. The water he had fell into had
given him an explosive case of the shits, and his kneecap was now turning a putrid
color of black. On top of all this, the brutal Alabama sun burned down onto him,
cooking him alive.

Whenever he tried to raise his head above the ditch to see what was going on,
a rifle shot would always ring out, forcing him to duck down.

300 yards away, Falk lowered his Coke and took an appreciative view of his friend's
shooting. "Nice shot, Shep. Say, where did you get that crap you sprayed into those
ditches before we brought him over here with that dimensional transporter we stole
from Section 31?"

Sheppard grinned evilly. "Travem. I stole it from the LT's secret stash, next to
the wookie weed. I don't think he's gonna miss it, and if he DOES, then well, look
at what we're doing with it."

Sheppard then took a long slug from an ice-cold coke. "Ahh, this is the life."

[Six Hours Later]

The sun was now setting, and it was getting dark fast.

"Hey Falk, we've been here all day. What you say we get some shut-eye?"

Falkenhorst looked towards the ditch where Mike was still rotting away in.

"What about that fucknut?" he asked, jabbing a thumb towards the ditch.

"Don't worry about him. I got someone to fill in for us during the night."

From behind, a man dressed in a plaid shirt and wearing overalls came up.

"Hey Jimmy-Bob!" cracked Shep, greeting the Alabamanian with a bear hug.

"Remember, you get a grand if you keep that fucknut pinned down in that hole
all night!"

"No prob, Mister Sheppard, I'll keep him down all night!"

[That night]

Mike tried to crawl up the ditch the moment the sun dipped below
the horizon and the blackness of the night took ahold. Suddenly,
a shot rang out, and Mike dropped below the ditch again. Damn!
He'd just have to wait a bit longer, until Sheppard and Falkenhorst
were asleep before making his break.

[The Farmhouse]

Sheppard snorted in his sleep and turned over in his bed, pulling
the pillow over his head, to block out the sound of gunshots in
the night. In another room, Falkenhorst did likewise.

Out front, Jimmy Bob took a long drag from a Budweiser and aimed his
rifle at the ditch with shaking hands....

[The next morning]

"Here's your thousand," remarked Sheppard as he peeled off hundred
dollar bills from the big fat wad of bills in his wallet.

"Where'd you get that kind of cash, Shep?" asked Falk, curious where
Shep was getting the money from.

"Got it from undisclosed sources, man."

"Good enough for me."

"Time to check out our 'friend'. Did those biohazard moon suits arrive last night?"

"Sure did," replied Falk, holding up one of them.

"Ok, lets get into them and check out Mike."

[15 minutes later]

Sheppard and Falkenhorst both approached the ditch wearing their moon suits. Even
through the biohazard filters and air recyclers, they still could smell the
Travem-induced shit from forty feet away.

"Jeeeeeeeesuz, how much shit can that little scrawny bastard have in him?"
cursed Falk.

Climbing the berm, they both stared at a horrible sight, enough to make a grown
man retch. In the ditch, surrounded by nearly a hundred pounds of pure grade-A
fresh SHIT, was none other than a horribly dehydrated and half-dead Mike.

Mike raised his head to stare at his opressors, and through his heat-baked
brain, he saw Sheppard hold up a ACME Medi-Kit, and say the HORRIBLE WORDS:

"Don't worry, Mike, we'll fix you all up good as new and then WE'LL START OVER
AGAIN until you get that flag to the house..."

A primal scream erupted from Mike's mouth, which was now raw chapped hamburger, and
he got up and began to straggle away, ignoring the horrible pain from his ruined leg.

Suddenly, he saw his salvation. Hell couldn't be as bad as THIS, and with that last
thought, he dove head-first into the wood chipper.

Sheppard then turned towards Falk as the wood chipper spat out red guts.
"And he did it OF HIS OWN FREE WILL...."

Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiice.

Ok. I'll post it around 7pm/c tonight. Fucking school eats my life. Sorry for the delay, and kickass shep and Lt.!

Here's mine.

As the pieces of Mike flew from the chipper, they formed a pile nearby. Appearing out of nowhere, a robed figure walked up to the pile and took a piece. Uttering a few words, the figure disappeared in a burst of blue flame.

An instant later, the figure reappeared in a small cave, lined with torches. Etched on the rock floor was a red pentagram. The figure tossed the piece of Mike into the center of the star, held up one hand, and shouted a few words in the language of the Ancients. Thunder echoed throughout the rock chamber, and the small piece of flesh began to bulge and grow. Stepping back, the hooded figure watched as a perfectly formed Mike grew out of the small piece. When the process was complete, the man snapped his fingers, and a pair of goblins arrived, carrying a set of clothes. Once Mike was dressed, the two departed.

Mike awoke to see the robed figure standing over him. A bit startled, he squeaked and tried to backpedal. The figure held up its hands. "Hey, Mike!" he said. "Relax, it's me!" Mike stopped.

"Who're you?" he asked with understandable nervousness. The figure drew back its hood to reveal Iggy's smiling features. He extended a hand to help Mike up, but the teen shrank back.

"Come on, Mike. I'm not here to hurt you. Really," Iggy said. Shakily, he took the hand and let Iggy pull him to his feet.

"W-where are we?" he asked, looking about. The underground room was filled with various arcane books and objects, including a set of armor, an astrolabe, and a huge set of teeth.

"Khaz Modan," Iggy answered. "More specifically, we're in my study."

"Your study?"

"Well, yes. Every good warlock needs one. But now, come along. We've got things to do."

Mike started to follow, but hesitated. "You're not gonna hurt me, are you?"

Iggy blinked, as though the question had surprised him. "Of course not."

"You don't happen to have any...medical instruments?" Iggy shook his head. "Or frozen wookiee shit?" Iggy raised an eyebrow, as though he questioned Mike's sanity. "And you don't have any rifles or ex-lax?"

Iggy looked fairly offended. "No!" Mike sighed in relief. "That's stuff's not needed for real torture," he added. Mike's eyes shot open and he looked at Iggy, who now held a hand to his mouth, a guilty smile on his face. "Oops. Guess I said a bit too much, huh?" Mike bolted for the exit, but suddenly found a forcefield around him, constricting him and preventing movement. Behind him, he heard Iggy snarl, "Chain the little puke!" The forcefield dropped, and Mike suddenly felt strong hands take hold of him. The two orc warriors chained Mike to the rock wall. By now, Mike was sweating profusely.

"Not again," he whimpered. "Not again, please, God."

"I'm afraid he can't hear you, Mike," Iggy said, a devilish smile on his face. "Nobody can." Mike began to cry. Iggy scowled. "Oh, for damnation's sake." He raised a hand and clenched it. Suddenly, all the air in Mike's lungs seemed to rush out, as though a giant fist were squeezing them. He gasped, but could not take in any air. His throat seemed closed off. Iggy unclenched his fist, and Mike breathed in, sucking air greedily.

Iggy reached deep into his robes and retrieved a plain gold coin. "Do you know what this is, Mike?" Mike shook his head, sullen. "This is called theDemon Soul." Iggy raised the coin and held the flat surface towards Mike. "I've been waiting to try it out on a human."

"Wait!" Mike cried out.

"What?"

"At least tell me what I'm in for!"

Iggy appeared to soften a bit. "Well...nah!" He thrust the coin forward, and suddenly, Mike felt his spine contort. He screamed in agony as his backbone bent forwards, then backwards, then seemed to coil up like a snake. The intense pain made him faint. Iggy dropped the coin onto a table in irritation. "Dammit, he didn't even last five seconds." The warlock strode up to Mike and slapped him across the face, once, twice, three times. Mike groaned and came to.

Iggy delicately placed a hand on Mike's chin and brought his face up to meet eye-to-eye. "Does it hurt?" he asked, almost compassionately. Mike whimpered. "Good." He dropped Mike's chin and walked over to another nearby table. This one held only two items, a long, serrated claw and a bowl of dark blue liquid. "Mike, do you know what dragons are?" Iggy asked casually. Mike didn't answer. Iggy held up a finger and made a swirling motion. Mike screamed like a little girl as his eyes suddenly bulged and seemed to grow, straining against the bone sockets. Iggy released him after a few moments.

"Y-y-yes," he said between whimpers.

"Good." Iggy delicately picked up the claw and motioned a nearby goblin to bring the bowl over. He held the long, shiny claw before Mike's eyes. "Can you guess what this is?"

"A claw?"

"No shit, Sherlock. What kind of claw?"

"Um, a dragon's?"

"Very good, Mike." Iggy gestured to the bowl. "And this?" Mike shrugged. "It's dragon's blood, Mike. A very potent acid, when used correctly. Here, watch." Iggy dipped the claw into the bowl. "Notice that the acid does not affect the claw, but when I let it drip, like this-" A few drops of the blood fell to the rock floor, and sizzled as they ate right through. Mike had a bad premonition.

"No, no, no, please no, please, please, please, don't!"

Iggy watched him writhe for a moment, then turned to the goblin. "Have you ever seen a prisoner break this quickly, Kryll?"

"No, master warlock, never seen," the goblin replied.

Iggy turned back to look at Mike, idly swishing the claw about in the blood. "But then, he's been slaughtered no less than three times. I should cut him a little slack. Speaking of cut-" In one swift motion, Iggy brought the claw out of the bowl and slashed Mike across the chest with it. Mike's screech was so loud, it reverberated on the glass instruments in the room. Iggy watched, fascinated, as the acidic blood began to eat away at the skin and tissues in and around the cut. Mike screamed again and began thrashing. Iggy dipped the claw in the blood a second time and made a small prick on Mike's shoulder, starting the process a second time. This time, a drop of the blood fell from the claw and ran down Mike's shoulder, leaving a trail of eaten-away skin behind it. Mike's screaming intensified.

Iggy suddenly turned away and summoned a pair of orc warriors. "Guard Kryll and the prisoner for tonight. Do not interfere with Kryll's work." The grunts bowed. "Kryll?"

"Yes, what can Kryll do to help the master warlock?"

"Try not to damage the prisoner too much, there's a spell I want to try on him. Watch him overnight, and prick him if he falls asleep. Just don't cause too much damage. Understand?"

The goblin nodded eagerly. "Yes, yes, understand, master. Understand perfectly. Kryll will do as told." Iggy nodded and walked out.


Early the next morning, Iggy came into the room and promptly brought a hand to his face. Mike had vacated his bowels at least once during the night, and that combined with the blood oozing from his injuries stank to high heaven. Iggy summoned up a fresh spring breeze and cleaned out the stink. Once that was done, Iggy went to Mike and studied him. Kryll had been rather inventive in his torture. Iggy noted acid-eaten injuries on the back of Mike's knees, the inside of his elbows, his armpits, and one on the back of his neck. Iggy grinned. Oh, that one must have been true torture. "Look at the legs, master, look at the legs!" Kryll said. Iggy noticed that when Mike had shit himself, the feces had flowed down over an open wound. Now, it was festering, green and full of pus.

Iggy smiled. "You did good work here, Kryll." Then, he noticed Mike's face, Kryll had poked him in the cheek, but had apparently used too much dragon blood. A huge hole had opened in Mike's face. His gums and teeth were apparently undamaged, probably because the blood had spent itself on the cheek. A thin strap of flesh separated the hole from Mike's mouth. "I like it, Kryll," he said. "Now he can eat my shit twice as fast." The warlock, the goblin, and both of the orcs had a good laugh. "Now then," he said, and tapped Mike on the forehead. The prisoner groaned and creaked both eyes open. "Good morning Mike!" Iggy said brightly.

"Just kill me. Please," he whimpered.

"Tempting. But I need you for one last test. I assure you, you'll die during it. Sound good?" Mike nodded. "OK then, everyone's satisfied!" Iggy took about ten steps away from the chained Mike, then turned and held out a hand, palm up. A blue sphere appeared over his hand. "What do you think, Mike? Pretty?"

"Uh-huh."

"Good." Iggy passed his other hand over the blue sphere, and it turned gray. He did it again, and it turned black. Tentacles sprouted from the sphere and reached down to the floor. Iggy dropped his hand and took a step back, letting the spell do its work. The tentacles seemed to ooze across the rock towards Mike's ankles.

"What does the master call this spell, master?" Kryll asked, watching eagerly.

"I call it theEndless Hunger," Iggy said. The tentacles finally reached Mike and gently coiled around his ankles. The sensation was actually soothing, and Mike sighed. Then, the tentacles gripped him tightly. Mike screamed as a horrible burning sensation wracked him. The tentacles began to move back and forth, increasing the burning, and Mike suddenly found himself all burned out, with no energy left to scream. The tentacles began to move up, spreading the burning to his knees. "Look!" Iggy said, suddenly excited. "It works!" All in the room looked at Mike's feet, or rather, the space where they had been. Not even ashes were left. The tentacles continued to burn away at Mike's legs, moving ever upward. Iggy met his eyes. "Well Mike, looks like you're gonna die again." Mike nodded dumbly. "But there's a catch this time." Iggy cackled. "Once theEndless Hungeris done with you, not even your soul will be left. Mike's eyes opened, and he trembled. But look at it this way, Mike," Iggy continued, a benevolent smile on his face. "At least you won't go back to hell." Then, one of the tentacles shot up and forced itself down Mike's throat. He tried to scream, tried to vomit it up, but it completely blocked his throat. Then, the burning sensation, all the way from his lips to the pit of his stomach, as the tentacle ate at him. Mike last sensation ever was that of the tentacle twisting and erupting out his stomach.

Iggy watched as the tentacles slowly devoured Mike, their hellish secretions dissolving not only his entire body, but his soul as well, until truly nothing was left. The tentacles then retreated back to the sphere. Iggy waved a hand, and the sphere faded from sight. "A good night's work, a good night's work, eh master warlock?" Kryll said.

"Indeed. Come along, Kryll. We have work to do."

Here is my long-delayed story.

Robert Scott Anderson was dreaming. Wonderful dreams... Well, for him at least. He was dreaming that he and a leather-clad Picard were standing on the bridge of a starship. Picard, with a whip in hand, had a huge erection. "Ooooo Robbie, the way you single-handedly killed 34,000,000 star destroyers really turned me on. Anderson instantly disrobed from his starfleet skirt. Picard removed his leather, and busted out a bottle of crisco, and proceeded to lube up Anderson's ass. After he was done, Picard inserted his phase modulated penis into Anderon, shaking him with orgasmic delight. They had a fuck-fest right there in front of the captains chair.

Snake stood there, clad in his black Psi-Cop uniform, watching a naked Anderson jizz all over himself. Snake could have projectile vomited all over Anderson, but instead pulled out an oversized PPG, turned it to the lowest setting, and shot him in the balls in the middle of orgasm.
To Anderson, it felt like someone had just rubbed his nuts all over a halogen light bulb that had been on for 15 hours straight.
Darkstar woke up screaming like his blood pH had just gone down to 1.

Snake belted him above the brow with the butt of his gun, and pointed the PPG inches away from his face.

Hello, scooter. I am Snake. Just to let you know, i put your cat in your microwave for you. RSA looked over to his microwave just in time to see "Mr. Kittle Kat" explode into tiny, bloody fragments. Anderson rushed over to his microwave, opened it, and boiling blood and other bodily fluids poured all over him, along with some of the remaining, yet smoking cat carcass. Anderson started to cry.

Snake walked over to him, and put his hand on his shoulder. "Dont worry, Rob. I have a surprise for you."

Snake whistled, and three men wheeled in a woman. Not any ordinary woman, but an elephantine mass of humanity barely recognizable as a woman.

Anderson stared in awe at the enormity of this woman. Snake spoke up. "Her name is Paige. She weighs 1450 lbs, and hasnt had sex in 12 years. Your job is to fuck her from behind."
Anderson dropped his jaw in disgust. Turned to snake and said "No." Snake's eyes narrowed. "What the hell did you just say? You fuck her, or I'll torture your stupid ass until you die from it." Snake raised the PPG toward Anderson's nuts. This was enough motivation for him. He got down on his knees, and tried to find her pussy. Paige farted extremely loud, and sprayed shit all over Anderson's face. Darkstar was also blown across the room into his TV, which shattered and cut his back to shreds. Snake walked over to him, grabbed him by his hair, and punched him in the nose, with blood spraying all over his shit-covered face. He fell backwards, and Snake kept coming, and kept mercilessly beating him. When Snake was done, he motioned toward the men that wheeled Paige in. They brought in a cross, nailed it on the nearest wall.

When they were done, Snake picked Anderson up, and nailed him to the cross. Snake also nailed Anderson's nuts, just to be sure he stayed up. Anderson screamed in a very high voice. Snake was wearing a sadistic grin. "Now, here is where the real fun begins." Snake produced a knife, and cut Anderson's asshole downward between his legs until it met his dick. Anderson was screaming so loud, that it was actually hurting Snake's ears. He swung the knife in a backhand swipe, destroying Anderson's voice box. What once was a blood-curdling scream, now was just the sound of air rushing out of his mouth.

Snake's Aides brought in a rather large watermelon, with spikes coming out of every side. Anderson's eye's widened when snake started to shove the watermelon up his ass. Snake was inserting and removing the watermelon faster than most people could fuck. Anderson's eyes started to glaze over. "C'mon, scooter, we're not done yet." Snake started up a snowblower powered by a fusion reactor, and brought it up to 70,000 revolutions/second. A shrill whine tore through the silence, but the sound of Snake laughing was still audible. There were little bits of goodies on the floor, such as broken glass, nails, Arminius jizz, and pictures of Janet Reno naked. The nozzle was turned toward Anderson. Snake slowly moved the snowblower, (which wasnt designed for blowing snow, because it could grind a large diamond to dust in a second,) toward Anderson, laughing the whole time. The corpseblower caught the junk on the floor first, propelling it out of the nozzle at speeds near that of sound. The killer dust blew all over his body, making every pore bleed like a gunshot wound. Finally, the corpseblower caught his legs, which grinded them up very easily, and spit the sludge all over Darkstar. When there was no more blood left in Anderson's body, he started to die. Snake had been keeping him alive with his P12+ abilities for a while, but finally stopped. Right before Anderson died, Snake stabbed Darkstar through the eye up to the brain with an extremely hot soldering iron, killing him finally.


The next day, police found a crucified body of Darkstar, the ultimate troll. He was missing the entire lower half of his body, with his stomach hanging below his waist. Police confirmed that his stomach was full of Graham Kennedy's jizz, causing many to throw up.

Snake was watching the 9:00 news in his Omega-X, watching the whole report.
The reporter said: "Whenever we find a body that looks like this, we say: It's very good that you did this, Snake. Very good."
Snake's laughter could be heard all around his ship, even in hyperspace.

Fin.

Not bad Snake not bad at all.
But the best is yet to come from me

*Crazy Ivan/Joker laugh*