A Squelch of Empires (crossover)
Posted: 2008-10-16 07:38am
This is the excised segment of what would have been option 3 from my main plot; it is rather far off the wall, and while it was fun to write, just as well it's a dead end. I'd hate to have to rationalise this and take it seriously.
The Palpatinist side of the wormhole; Imperial Starfleet research station Bifrost deep in the Rishi Maze, home port Deep Field Recon Group
‘So, how do you rate the base commander?’ Commodore, First Strike Element, asked his long- time right hand man. ‘Specifically on his technical skills.’
‘What, you mean I actually have to be polite about him?’ the heavyweight engineer said. ‘I’m not sure anyone other than him could work that cosmic needle and thread- but he has no judgement at all in what they do with it. Basically, you’re asking if we can afford to do without him?’
‘Unfortunately, yes, I am asking exactly that.’ Lennart admitted. ‘Why did he have to be such a kriffing idiot? A blunder like that- like allowing something to come through the wormhole from the other end- puts everything at jeopardy. More importantly, if he’s daft enough to let something like that happen, then he isn’t trustworthy.
If we can’t work with him, we have to replace him- so is he indispensable?’
Mirannon thought about it, and actually not about the technology- trying to come up with a sensible tactical recommendation. ‘On the absolute scale, no- in the near term, if we’re going to do anything about that incursion, yes.
Most of their funding comes from DMR- militarise the facility outright. Keep Doctor Dischel as technical director, slot in an operational director over him with instructions to consider the military aspect and with full powers of control- I’d say Beliksjaden, second watch hyperdrive control, he knows his business. Should do as an interim fix.’
‘I’m not certain we do want to. I’m still trying to understand this, get some understanding of the physics beyond the ‘magic door in space’ level.’ Lennart admitted, uneasily. As if the Force wasn’t enough to put up with- already long running, the battle to hold on to a recognisable sense of self promised to be never ending.
‘For instance- for future operations, assuming there are going to be any, is the diameter of the wormhole variable? Is the term ‘diameter’ actually meaningful?
I know just enough of the physics to have an idea of how much there is to know,’ Lennart admitted, ‘and not really enough to start planning transdimensional tactics. Who came up with this lunatic idea, anyway?’
‘Originally separatist.’ Mirannon said. ‘Far as what I’ve had translated and declassified goes, they were trying to come up with the ultimate weapon- and not for the first time. It was supposed to be a symmetry breaker.’ Mirannon said, in tones somewhere between awe and horror.
‘Ow.’ Lennart marvelled. ‘Well, the universe is still here, so I presume somebody realised how suicidally stupid that was.’
‘Um…no, I think they just couldn’t make it work. It was Imperial research that turned it into a transport device. At least, initially- what other potential there is in it, they’re still working out. It’s brilliant. Dangerously insane as well, but also brilliant.’ Mirannon, who was in that category too a lot of the time, admitted.
‘And yes, the more I think about the thing, the more I worry about the staff- to think about everything so thoroughly except the difference it makes is the mark of a deep but narrow mind. Institutionally. Most of them are individually more sensible than that, but whatever they think and speculate, it isn’t official policy.’
‘So, another shoal of potential man- in the broadest sense of the term- management problems.’ Lennart said, referring to the numerous nonhumans on the project staff. ‘To say nothing of the things at the other end of the wormhole that decided to come and say hello. The process is repeatable, isn’t it? You can drill a trans- dimensional bypass to the same place twice, yes? So why the kriff did they leave it open?’
‘Part of that narrow perspective.’ Mirannon said. ‘They deploy a probe, leave the hole open for telemetry purposes. A detectable probe that anyone on the other end is likely to be interested in.’
‘A complicated, advanced and ridiculously expensive probe that, on the bright side, should be nearly impossible to reverse engineer- but which serves as a beacon to any intelligence worth contacting that hello, something weird is happening here.’ Lennart grumbled.
‘As a result of that, they- whoever they are, and I’m still waiting for the full information on that as well, came to us rather than the other way around.
They have a much larger sample to work with, they can come to much firmer conclusions about our nature and extent, government and politics, military potential than we can about them.
So, how well does physics serve tactics? If we collapse the wormhole, does it stay gone- is there any danger at all that they could rethread it from the other end, or even find us if we actually do so?’
‘No.’ Mirannon said. ‘Safely handling the exotic energy in the wormhole is a bastard of a job by all accounts, and the thing could fairly easily be induced to go boom- more practical and less cosmic than a symmetry weapon, just as well they never thought of that- but when it’s gone, it’s gone.
The short version is that there is no real difference between unpacking, rethreading and pointing a lapsed wormhole and doing it from scratch themselves anyway. That and it’s bloody expensive.’
‘For the price of a new universe?’ Lennart wondered.
‘I though we still had a few sextillion barren rocks of our own to work through before going that far.’ Mirannon pointed out.
‘We do. We’re really looking for civilisations, people- entities- worth dealing with; although if we can wormhole to differently shaped universes with different laws of physics, then the possibilities become much weirder.
That and I have to admit I’m not overwhelmingly happy about being the Invaders from Beyond. Still less am I happy about the beyond deciding to come and visit us first- especially not some random, quasi- official, diplomatic-trader-raider-part time mercenary outfit full of scruffy lunatics.
I mean, what are they trying to do, steal our act?’ Lennart deadpanned.
‘Hmph.’ Mirannon grunted with amusement. ‘No immediate pursuit?’
‘We’re going to have to chase them, but not blindly. There is clearly a civilisation over there- active and star travelling, if not entirely level headed, exactly the sort of possibility we’re supposed to investigate.’
‘So, first we plan and predict as far as possible, make some kind of plan, then go for it?’ Mirannon speculated.
‘Yes. I’m going to need you to look through the probe’s data, see what unpleasant surprises are waiting for us in the realm of physics, while I try and do the same for the tactical and the actual contact, and plan what I hope is going to be a reconnaissance in force. If we’re unlucky, it’ll be a spoiling attack. Really unlucky, and it’ll be a counterattack.’
From the journals of Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, etc, etc;
I don’t know why I’m bothering to record this, except that it made virtually no sense at the time. Which was nothing unusual, in my long and inglorious career, in fact it’s the times when it does make sense that are usually the worst, but it continues to fail to make sense to this day and I don’t know who I can turn to to help me figure it out. I can’t imagine who would be allowed to read it; a damned short list, probably.
The whole mess started about a year and a half after the Periremunda campaign, the 597th were in the middle of a moderately horrible job putting down a revolt on Eligabab, when we were pulled out of the line.
Now, this was a welcome turn of events for all of half a second. Eligabab is, above all else, damp. If you ask me, the natives revolted out of sheer boredom, and possibly a desire for increased towel imports. Most of what isn’t open sea is half water anyway, most of the locals live on houseboats, and between swinging from rain-forest trees, squelching through swamps and trying to learn how to sail, the regiment was thoroughly fed up.
Something to do with a Dark Age terraforming project gone wrong, apparently; supposed to make water, Throne alone knows how, the thing had apparently got stuck and kept doing it long after it was meant to stop.
Well, the planet could drown for all I cared; the sick list was long and getting longer, and only the fact that there was nowhere to get into trouble kept the defaulters’ list from doing the same.
Most of our fighting was done against the conditions; we were winning the actual war, largely because the rebels were in the same state we were and just as browned off about it. If they had any sense, they would have given up and gone home- and if the governor had any sense, he would have let them. Which was officially impossible, no clemency for traitors and all that.
Being pulled out in mid campaign was a relief from one point of view. The rebels could continue delaying tactics as long as they liked, run whoever ended up doing the job ragged, keep them out until their guns fused to rust and their feet degenerated to lumps of solid mould; we didn’t have to care now.
I was wading up above the knees in fetid mud at the time, and starting to understand what it must be like to live in Jurgen’s world, when the retrieval shuttle came and airlifted me and the platoon I was accompanying out of the swamp.
Half a second was all it took for my palms to start itching, and the thought to come to me that being withdrawn in mid- squelch meant that they needed us more badly somewhere else, and that could possibly be worse- although at the time I didn’t understand how. Just as well, because I can picture worse places to spend a life hiding under a rock, but around here I would have been hard put to it to find one.
Command had little idea either; Kasteen was just as badly in the dark, only knew that we had been requested by name, ordered to return to our concentration area- assuming it hadn’t slid away on a tide of mud- and await pickup.
Most of our vehicles had been left behind, their being precious few places in the operational area they could do anything other than sink; in theory, the Chimeras floated, but in practise they tend to stop doing that when punctured, overloaded or when the water was cutting up chop. Or when the hull front bolter moved, or the troops had to get out and fight.
I suppose you could call that a drawback for an APC. The Salamanders were more reliable, and I had used mine at first, until the unit I was accompanying on a rear area sweep found trouble, and tried to deploy. Chimeras sink frighteningly quickly, when the rear hatches are open.
The lagoon bed was fairly shallow, and I’m a pretty good swimmer; most of the troopers made it out, but we had to go down and rescue a few of the drivers and vehicle commanders. Not that there weren’t advantages; good for the reputation, and it was safer underwater swimming down into a sunken Chimera than getting shot at on the surface- well, apart from the flesh- eating eels.
We got almost everyone up- and as a bonus the rebels were too busy laughing to pay proper attention and we were able to take them fairly easily- but the Salamander ended up with forty troopers piled on top or being towed on lashed-up rafts. Not doing that again, I thought, picking eel’s teeth out of my longcoat. If only I’d known.
We were one of the last units in, and Broklaw and Kasteen were waiting there on the floating concrete raft that they called a starport. They looked at me, dripping with mud; I looked at them, clean and official in their dress uniforms, and all three of us broke out laughing.
Interrupted by a shout from the headquarters chimera, ‘Air target incoming!’
Most of the assembled vehicles barely had time to activate, never mind raise multilasers and point on, when there was a huge noise, a sonic boom that left most of us on the ground and wondering what was going on.
I had dived on top of the Colonel; with some regret, I bounced back to my feet and saw something in the sky that seemed to be on fire, no, burning retros at a furious rate, and curving up and around as if coming in for another pass.
‘It didn’t do any damage.’ She said, surveying the parked vehicles of the regiment.
‘We’d be in a lot worse trouble if it wanted to.’ I said, identifying the long beaked shape, with considerable surprise- and mounting horror. ‘It’s a Thunderhawk.’
‘Hold your fire.’ She voxed to the regiment, wisely, and the Astartes gunship-transport looped round, under ferocious strain, almost crashing to a halt and hover in mid-air over the starport field.
For a moment I wondered what they were going to do, then one man- one superman- jumped out, from forty feet up. As acrobatic as you like, he rolled as he hit ground, spinning forward out of it and came up standing, leaving the concrete splintered to a depth of two feet where he had touched down.
He walked across to us with giant bouncing strides, as Kasteen and Broklaw simply stood there in awe and I tried to place him; Mark Six armour with the same pointed helmet as the Reclaimers wore, slightly modified with a false plate to sheath the power cables, different chapter and heraldry of course, but he seemed to be a sargeant, and the armour was painted entirely in small blotches of different shades of green. He almost slid into the horizon beyond him, even at this distance.
The chapter emblem seemed to be a lion rampant, and there were little dots and markers and codifier bars over the shoulderpad that I couldn’t identify. Heavy weapons, at least.
He got up to us, and took off his helmet; fair haired, ruthless blue eyes, Kasteen almost swooned. The voice was incongruous, coming from that huge- chested giant I expected a deep bass rumble, but it was a soft, almost melancholy tone.
‘Commissar, Colonel, Major. I’m Sargeant-Commander Lachlan, XIV company, Emperor’s 346th, Lions of Caledon. Ay, I think we can take four at a time. Hundred and twenty minutes. If you can line your Chimeras up in close column of twos, you’re looking at me as if I just fell off the moon, have you no’ been fully briefed?’
Kasteen was still boggling at the nine foot tall, five foot wide Astartes; clearly it was down to me. ‘Considering we weren’t expecting you at all, I think the answer’s no.’
There was another crash of air from overhead, the marine didn’t turn a hair. ‘Ay, that’ll be Jamie, he never was too sure at the high speed reentry. Your regiment’s presence was urgently requested, and my Sgiamh’s the fastest ship on station, so we’re giving you a hurl out to the Quaestio Abstrusa where ye’ll link up with your own proper transport.’
‘Through the Warp, four at a time, slung under a Thunderhawk?’ Broklaw said, not believing.
‘Don’t be daft, Major, that wouldn’t work at all- and best not even to suggest such things in case fate happens to be listening.’ The marine said, and I started to warm to him at once.
‘I have a Glaive- class frigate in orbit, four to a Thunderhawk and eight to a lift, two hours, no more. I suggest,’ he said outwardly diffidently but with more than a century of experience backing up his words, ‘one of the command team sort things out here, one come up on the first lift to get your people safely bedded in.’
‘What happens once we get to this Puzzle?’ I said, translating from the High Gothic.
‘A lot of us want to know that, I only have about half the story mysel’. If you’d care to ride up in the first lift, Commissar, I’ll explain to ye what we do know.’
I looked at the hovering Thunderhawk, and asked the stupid question. ‘So how do I get up there?’
‘Well, I could pick ye up and throw you through the hatch-‘ he paused to enjoy the look of stunned horror on all our faces- ‘but I don’t think it would be quite consistent with the dignity of your office. Ride in the lead Chimera, I’ll datalink to you.’
That was a slight improvement, although I had to wonder what perverse imp had pushed him to that idea in the first place. Jurgen and I climbed into the first chimera on the pad- fifth company, third platoon; I nodded to the team commander. ‘Sargeant Lydd.’
He looked pleased to be recognised; I remembered him chiefly for a near- riot on Periremunda, he had been accused of cheating at dice. Actually, he had cleaned them out so thoroughly he nearly ended up owning the bar. A natural choice for promotion in the next round of advancements, and I didn’t hold that fact that he refused to tell me how it was done against him at all. Well, not much anyway.
‘Commissar.’ He wasn’t all that pleased to see Jurgen, though, but carried on; ‘What are we doing?’
There was a clang from the outside of the vehicle like an ork cannon shot; Lachlan, using the vehicle as a springboard to vault up to the hovering Thunderhawk. Twenty foot standing jump straight up, or I’m a Tallarn. I used the turret viewfinder; a metal thing came across the field of vision, there was a loud set of clangs and bangs, the docking clamp locking on to the Chimera.
‘Ready to lift.’ The Marine’s voice came down- some kind of conduction speaker through the hull, bounced us about pretty badly.
‘Can you turn the volume down a bit?’ I shouted.
‘Oh, aye, I forgot about the resonance. Fascinatin’ actually, remind me to play with that a bit later, the system was designed for Land Raiders. Is that better for ordinary human ears?’ He didn’t seem all that bothered about an ordinary human, even what was to all appearances a subordinary one like Jurgen- whose very real virtues were usually very well hidden- being around him. I began to wonder if he was a typical example of his Chapter. And hope he wasn’t, truth be told.
The Thunderhawk took off, rocketing straight upwards; a much wilder ride than any dropship I’d been in, unsurprising considering the Astartes used them as heavy fighters as well as transport. Jurgen was drastically unhappy, as bad going up as he usually was coming down, and the troopers of the squad were shying away from him. The sound of air around us was starting to fade, and I was starting to worry; if they were only nominally watertight, how airtight were the Chimeras really liable to be?
‘Ay, we have the boarding rig. Takes a little power, take a little longer going up and down, you don’t need to worry about the holes.’ I wish I could feel as confident as he sounded right then, but I had to show faith.
‘You said you have a ship in orbit, from the fourteenth company?’
‘We have the codex standard rifle strength of a thousand battle brothers, but we are a heavy formation. So many Razorbacks and Helios variants carrying half squads, we have several more companies than normal to take up the full rifle strength, you understand. I think that has something to do wi’ this little operation.’ Lachlan said.
‘How so?’ I said, trying to sound confident and determined. The squad were lost somewhere between awe and terror, and come to think of it so was I.
‘All the Astartes are privileged to defend humanity by fighting the alien, but we may be the zonal if not the segmentum champions at the gentle art of stealin’ their technology, purging it, sanctifying it in the name of the Emperor and turning it against it’s former owners. I understand your regiment has a fine history at the alien fighting, too.’
My blood ran cold at that. I’d faced and beaten many varieties of the enemies of the emperor, all the while cowering and screaming like a little girl inside but they didn’t need to know that, but I could tell there was more to it than that. ‘What kind of xenos?’
‘Now that is the interesting question. Given the speed, the secrecy, and the confusion of all of this, I would say that something new has appeared that no-one understands yet.
There is a smaal force assembling at the Quaestio Abstrusa station, all of them units of high reputation. I would say that we are looking to some kind of reconnaissance in force, a probe into the home space of the xenos, wherever that should be.’
Well, that was my brain on holiday for the duration. ‘Then this should be interesting.’ I managed to say. Landing on the Astartes frigate and getting the regiment stowed was a blur, I must have done it all properly but I’m damned if I can remember how.
Inside, the ship- Sgiamh, whatever that meant- was an interesting composite of the elaborately ornate and the brutally austere. Clearly old enough to have undergone numerous changes and revisions, and of a class I didn’t recognise anyway although with the marines having their own ideas about how to run a spacefleet that was no surprise.
The crew were an odd lot; almost silent, they did their jobs with no more than an eyebrow-raise, a twitch, a glance- nonverbal communication. They were of every height from five foot up to almost the same stature as a Marine- I could have sworn some of them were but for the carapace.
‘Ay, chapter serfs.’ I heard Lachlan say, from behind me; he had come up with the next lot of Chimera. ‘What most people never quite understand about the Astartes is that to make a man a Marine, we have tae’ start while he’s still a growing lad. How do you tell how a nine or ten year old boy’s going to turn out? There was probably a time when even you could have gone the other way and turned into a wee, sleekit, cowerin’ timid mouse of a man.’
Now, I do not take kindly to jokes like that- that and I wasn’t certain that he was joking. My eyeline was about level with the bottom of his ribcage, that didn’t mean I could let him get away with it, Astartes or not.
‘Ay,’ he said before I could decide if I was going to swing for him, and if so where, ‘the Reclaimers said that when it came to knowing fear, you had the galaxy beat- but you still went in with them. That counts for somewhat. You and your wee aide.’
I noticed my nostrils were unusually clear, and looked round for Jurgen- no sign, nor of any Valhallan in this side corridor off the bay. Obviously, Lachlan had steered me aside to have this little word. ‘Your reputation’s safe enough with us.’
‘Now if you could promise the same about my skin, that would cheer me up no end.’ I said, trying to sound as if I was joking.
‘I doubt that- but a passin’ thought that might appeal to you. What sort of distinction could a nine or ten year old wean hope to achieve that might catch the eye of the Astartes as a potential recruit?’
I couldn’t imagine- piety? Scholastic merit? I didn’t know, and said so.
‘We would hae’ something a little more warlike to build on. Think you, that for the first approximation we are working through the clouded mirror of the Administratum. The easiest way for us to guddle out potential warriors of His Majesty is to look for the biggest troublemakers.’
I gave a choked snort of laughter, starting to see what Lachlan was getting at.
‘Ay, the worst nyaffs, toerags and scum auld Caledon has to offer…the tricks Ah used to play in the back streets around Auchterastra spaceport wouldna’ bear repeating.
The company did add it a’ up once and if we had been properly caught and sentenced for our crimes pre- induction, we would be due 4,815 years penal servitude between us. There was some thought of goin’ back and committing a few more just to bring it up to a nice round number but we decided it wouldna’ be seemly.’
Lachlan said it all so deadpan, it came out perfectly, and I doubled over laughing trying to imagine a Terminator squad on a petty crime spree, breaking windows, littering and spraying graffiti.
‘Ay, some chapters are a lot more stiffnecked about it than others, and I dare say Caledon’s an exception, being half forge and half feral world a’ in one, but I’d be surprised if the bulk of His Majesty’s work was done by honest men…which goes a long way to explain the Administratum, now I come to think of it.’
That was it, I couldn’t stop myself laughing. By the time I managed to pull myself back together the big Marine was gone to look after his ship and Jurgen, the one counterexample that came to mind, was standing there. ‘Commissar? Are you alright?’
‘Maybe.’ I managed to say. Even if the Sargeant-Commander could see further past my reputation than most- as he said himself later “We train to be crazy, no’ stupid”- he seemed to be more admiring of the fact that it was a fraud than anything else.
The Palpatinist side of the wormhole; Imperial Starfleet research station Bifrost deep in the Rishi Maze, home port Deep Field Recon Group
‘So, how do you rate the base commander?’ Commodore, First Strike Element, asked his long- time right hand man. ‘Specifically on his technical skills.’
‘What, you mean I actually have to be polite about him?’ the heavyweight engineer said. ‘I’m not sure anyone other than him could work that cosmic needle and thread- but he has no judgement at all in what they do with it. Basically, you’re asking if we can afford to do without him?’
‘Unfortunately, yes, I am asking exactly that.’ Lennart admitted. ‘Why did he have to be such a kriffing idiot? A blunder like that- like allowing something to come through the wormhole from the other end- puts everything at jeopardy. More importantly, if he’s daft enough to let something like that happen, then he isn’t trustworthy.
If we can’t work with him, we have to replace him- so is he indispensable?’
Mirannon thought about it, and actually not about the technology- trying to come up with a sensible tactical recommendation. ‘On the absolute scale, no- in the near term, if we’re going to do anything about that incursion, yes.
Most of their funding comes from DMR- militarise the facility outright. Keep Doctor Dischel as technical director, slot in an operational director over him with instructions to consider the military aspect and with full powers of control- I’d say Beliksjaden, second watch hyperdrive control, he knows his business. Should do as an interim fix.’
‘I’m not certain we do want to. I’m still trying to understand this, get some understanding of the physics beyond the ‘magic door in space’ level.’ Lennart admitted, uneasily. As if the Force wasn’t enough to put up with- already long running, the battle to hold on to a recognisable sense of self promised to be never ending.
‘For instance- for future operations, assuming there are going to be any, is the diameter of the wormhole variable? Is the term ‘diameter’ actually meaningful?
I know just enough of the physics to have an idea of how much there is to know,’ Lennart admitted, ‘and not really enough to start planning transdimensional tactics. Who came up with this lunatic idea, anyway?’
‘Originally separatist.’ Mirannon said. ‘Far as what I’ve had translated and declassified goes, they were trying to come up with the ultimate weapon- and not for the first time. It was supposed to be a symmetry breaker.’ Mirannon said, in tones somewhere between awe and horror.
‘Ow.’ Lennart marvelled. ‘Well, the universe is still here, so I presume somebody realised how suicidally stupid that was.’
‘Um…no, I think they just couldn’t make it work. It was Imperial research that turned it into a transport device. At least, initially- what other potential there is in it, they’re still working out. It’s brilliant. Dangerously insane as well, but also brilliant.’ Mirannon, who was in that category too a lot of the time, admitted.
‘And yes, the more I think about the thing, the more I worry about the staff- to think about everything so thoroughly except the difference it makes is the mark of a deep but narrow mind. Institutionally. Most of them are individually more sensible than that, but whatever they think and speculate, it isn’t official policy.’
‘So, another shoal of potential man- in the broadest sense of the term- management problems.’ Lennart said, referring to the numerous nonhumans on the project staff. ‘To say nothing of the things at the other end of the wormhole that decided to come and say hello. The process is repeatable, isn’t it? You can drill a trans- dimensional bypass to the same place twice, yes? So why the kriff did they leave it open?’
‘Part of that narrow perspective.’ Mirannon said. ‘They deploy a probe, leave the hole open for telemetry purposes. A detectable probe that anyone on the other end is likely to be interested in.’
‘A complicated, advanced and ridiculously expensive probe that, on the bright side, should be nearly impossible to reverse engineer- but which serves as a beacon to any intelligence worth contacting that hello, something weird is happening here.’ Lennart grumbled.
‘As a result of that, they- whoever they are, and I’m still waiting for the full information on that as well, came to us rather than the other way around.
They have a much larger sample to work with, they can come to much firmer conclusions about our nature and extent, government and politics, military potential than we can about them.
So, how well does physics serve tactics? If we collapse the wormhole, does it stay gone- is there any danger at all that they could rethread it from the other end, or even find us if we actually do so?’
‘No.’ Mirannon said. ‘Safely handling the exotic energy in the wormhole is a bastard of a job by all accounts, and the thing could fairly easily be induced to go boom- more practical and less cosmic than a symmetry weapon, just as well they never thought of that- but when it’s gone, it’s gone.
The short version is that there is no real difference between unpacking, rethreading and pointing a lapsed wormhole and doing it from scratch themselves anyway. That and it’s bloody expensive.’
‘For the price of a new universe?’ Lennart wondered.
‘I though we still had a few sextillion barren rocks of our own to work through before going that far.’ Mirannon pointed out.
‘We do. We’re really looking for civilisations, people- entities- worth dealing with; although if we can wormhole to differently shaped universes with different laws of physics, then the possibilities become much weirder.
That and I have to admit I’m not overwhelmingly happy about being the Invaders from Beyond. Still less am I happy about the beyond deciding to come and visit us first- especially not some random, quasi- official, diplomatic-trader-raider-part time mercenary outfit full of scruffy lunatics.
I mean, what are they trying to do, steal our act?’ Lennart deadpanned.
‘Hmph.’ Mirannon grunted with amusement. ‘No immediate pursuit?’
‘We’re going to have to chase them, but not blindly. There is clearly a civilisation over there- active and star travelling, if not entirely level headed, exactly the sort of possibility we’re supposed to investigate.’
‘So, first we plan and predict as far as possible, make some kind of plan, then go for it?’ Mirannon speculated.
‘Yes. I’m going to need you to look through the probe’s data, see what unpleasant surprises are waiting for us in the realm of physics, while I try and do the same for the tactical and the actual contact, and plan what I hope is going to be a reconnaissance in force. If we’re unlucky, it’ll be a spoiling attack. Really unlucky, and it’ll be a counterattack.’
From the journals of Commissar Ciaphas Cain, Hero of the Imperium, etc, etc;
I don’t know why I’m bothering to record this, except that it made virtually no sense at the time. Which was nothing unusual, in my long and inglorious career, in fact it’s the times when it does make sense that are usually the worst, but it continues to fail to make sense to this day and I don’t know who I can turn to to help me figure it out. I can’t imagine who would be allowed to read it; a damned short list, probably.
The whole mess started about a year and a half after the Periremunda campaign, the 597th were in the middle of a moderately horrible job putting down a revolt on Eligabab, when we were pulled out of the line.
Now, this was a welcome turn of events for all of half a second. Eligabab is, above all else, damp. If you ask me, the natives revolted out of sheer boredom, and possibly a desire for increased towel imports. Most of what isn’t open sea is half water anyway, most of the locals live on houseboats, and between swinging from rain-forest trees, squelching through swamps and trying to learn how to sail, the regiment was thoroughly fed up.
Something to do with a Dark Age terraforming project gone wrong, apparently; supposed to make water, Throne alone knows how, the thing had apparently got stuck and kept doing it long after it was meant to stop.
Well, the planet could drown for all I cared; the sick list was long and getting longer, and only the fact that there was nowhere to get into trouble kept the defaulters’ list from doing the same.
Most of our fighting was done against the conditions; we were winning the actual war, largely because the rebels were in the same state we were and just as browned off about it. If they had any sense, they would have given up and gone home- and if the governor had any sense, he would have let them. Which was officially impossible, no clemency for traitors and all that.
Being pulled out in mid campaign was a relief from one point of view. The rebels could continue delaying tactics as long as they liked, run whoever ended up doing the job ragged, keep them out until their guns fused to rust and their feet degenerated to lumps of solid mould; we didn’t have to care now.
I was wading up above the knees in fetid mud at the time, and starting to understand what it must be like to live in Jurgen’s world, when the retrieval shuttle came and airlifted me and the platoon I was accompanying out of the swamp.
Half a second was all it took for my palms to start itching, and the thought to come to me that being withdrawn in mid- squelch meant that they needed us more badly somewhere else, and that could possibly be worse- although at the time I didn’t understand how. Just as well, because I can picture worse places to spend a life hiding under a rock, but around here I would have been hard put to it to find one.
Command had little idea either; Kasteen was just as badly in the dark, only knew that we had been requested by name, ordered to return to our concentration area- assuming it hadn’t slid away on a tide of mud- and await pickup.
Most of our vehicles had been left behind, their being precious few places in the operational area they could do anything other than sink; in theory, the Chimeras floated, but in practise they tend to stop doing that when punctured, overloaded or when the water was cutting up chop. Or when the hull front bolter moved, or the troops had to get out and fight.
I suppose you could call that a drawback for an APC. The Salamanders were more reliable, and I had used mine at first, until the unit I was accompanying on a rear area sweep found trouble, and tried to deploy. Chimeras sink frighteningly quickly, when the rear hatches are open.
The lagoon bed was fairly shallow, and I’m a pretty good swimmer; most of the troopers made it out, but we had to go down and rescue a few of the drivers and vehicle commanders. Not that there weren’t advantages; good for the reputation, and it was safer underwater swimming down into a sunken Chimera than getting shot at on the surface- well, apart from the flesh- eating eels.
We got almost everyone up- and as a bonus the rebels were too busy laughing to pay proper attention and we were able to take them fairly easily- but the Salamander ended up with forty troopers piled on top or being towed on lashed-up rafts. Not doing that again, I thought, picking eel’s teeth out of my longcoat. If only I’d known.
We were one of the last units in, and Broklaw and Kasteen were waiting there on the floating concrete raft that they called a starport. They looked at me, dripping with mud; I looked at them, clean and official in their dress uniforms, and all three of us broke out laughing.
Interrupted by a shout from the headquarters chimera, ‘Air target incoming!’
Most of the assembled vehicles barely had time to activate, never mind raise multilasers and point on, when there was a huge noise, a sonic boom that left most of us on the ground and wondering what was going on.
I had dived on top of the Colonel; with some regret, I bounced back to my feet and saw something in the sky that seemed to be on fire, no, burning retros at a furious rate, and curving up and around as if coming in for another pass.
‘It didn’t do any damage.’ She said, surveying the parked vehicles of the regiment.
‘We’d be in a lot worse trouble if it wanted to.’ I said, identifying the long beaked shape, with considerable surprise- and mounting horror. ‘It’s a Thunderhawk.’
‘Hold your fire.’ She voxed to the regiment, wisely, and the Astartes gunship-transport looped round, under ferocious strain, almost crashing to a halt and hover in mid-air over the starport field.
For a moment I wondered what they were going to do, then one man- one superman- jumped out, from forty feet up. As acrobatic as you like, he rolled as he hit ground, spinning forward out of it and came up standing, leaving the concrete splintered to a depth of two feet where he had touched down.
He walked across to us with giant bouncing strides, as Kasteen and Broklaw simply stood there in awe and I tried to place him; Mark Six armour with the same pointed helmet as the Reclaimers wore, slightly modified with a false plate to sheath the power cables, different chapter and heraldry of course, but he seemed to be a sargeant, and the armour was painted entirely in small blotches of different shades of green. He almost slid into the horizon beyond him, even at this distance.
The chapter emblem seemed to be a lion rampant, and there were little dots and markers and codifier bars over the shoulderpad that I couldn’t identify. Heavy weapons, at least.
He got up to us, and took off his helmet; fair haired, ruthless blue eyes, Kasteen almost swooned. The voice was incongruous, coming from that huge- chested giant I expected a deep bass rumble, but it was a soft, almost melancholy tone.
‘Commissar, Colonel, Major. I’m Sargeant-Commander Lachlan, XIV company, Emperor’s 346th, Lions of Caledon. Ay, I think we can take four at a time. Hundred and twenty minutes. If you can line your Chimeras up in close column of twos, you’re looking at me as if I just fell off the moon, have you no’ been fully briefed?’
Kasteen was still boggling at the nine foot tall, five foot wide Astartes; clearly it was down to me. ‘Considering we weren’t expecting you at all, I think the answer’s no.’
There was another crash of air from overhead, the marine didn’t turn a hair. ‘Ay, that’ll be Jamie, he never was too sure at the high speed reentry. Your regiment’s presence was urgently requested, and my Sgiamh’s the fastest ship on station, so we’re giving you a hurl out to the Quaestio Abstrusa where ye’ll link up with your own proper transport.’
‘Through the Warp, four at a time, slung under a Thunderhawk?’ Broklaw said, not believing.
‘Don’t be daft, Major, that wouldn’t work at all- and best not even to suggest such things in case fate happens to be listening.’ The marine said, and I started to warm to him at once.
‘I have a Glaive- class frigate in orbit, four to a Thunderhawk and eight to a lift, two hours, no more. I suggest,’ he said outwardly diffidently but with more than a century of experience backing up his words, ‘one of the command team sort things out here, one come up on the first lift to get your people safely bedded in.’
‘What happens once we get to this Puzzle?’ I said, translating from the High Gothic.
‘A lot of us want to know that, I only have about half the story mysel’. If you’d care to ride up in the first lift, Commissar, I’ll explain to ye what we do know.’
I looked at the hovering Thunderhawk, and asked the stupid question. ‘So how do I get up there?’
‘Well, I could pick ye up and throw you through the hatch-‘ he paused to enjoy the look of stunned horror on all our faces- ‘but I don’t think it would be quite consistent with the dignity of your office. Ride in the lead Chimera, I’ll datalink to you.’
That was a slight improvement, although I had to wonder what perverse imp had pushed him to that idea in the first place. Jurgen and I climbed into the first chimera on the pad- fifth company, third platoon; I nodded to the team commander. ‘Sargeant Lydd.’
He looked pleased to be recognised; I remembered him chiefly for a near- riot on Periremunda, he had been accused of cheating at dice. Actually, he had cleaned them out so thoroughly he nearly ended up owning the bar. A natural choice for promotion in the next round of advancements, and I didn’t hold that fact that he refused to tell me how it was done against him at all. Well, not much anyway.
‘Commissar.’ He wasn’t all that pleased to see Jurgen, though, but carried on; ‘What are we doing?’
There was a clang from the outside of the vehicle like an ork cannon shot; Lachlan, using the vehicle as a springboard to vault up to the hovering Thunderhawk. Twenty foot standing jump straight up, or I’m a Tallarn. I used the turret viewfinder; a metal thing came across the field of vision, there was a loud set of clangs and bangs, the docking clamp locking on to the Chimera.
‘Ready to lift.’ The Marine’s voice came down- some kind of conduction speaker through the hull, bounced us about pretty badly.
‘Can you turn the volume down a bit?’ I shouted.
‘Oh, aye, I forgot about the resonance. Fascinatin’ actually, remind me to play with that a bit later, the system was designed for Land Raiders. Is that better for ordinary human ears?’ He didn’t seem all that bothered about an ordinary human, even what was to all appearances a subordinary one like Jurgen- whose very real virtues were usually very well hidden- being around him. I began to wonder if he was a typical example of his Chapter. And hope he wasn’t, truth be told.
The Thunderhawk took off, rocketing straight upwards; a much wilder ride than any dropship I’d been in, unsurprising considering the Astartes used them as heavy fighters as well as transport. Jurgen was drastically unhappy, as bad going up as he usually was coming down, and the troopers of the squad were shying away from him. The sound of air around us was starting to fade, and I was starting to worry; if they were only nominally watertight, how airtight were the Chimeras really liable to be?
‘Ay, we have the boarding rig. Takes a little power, take a little longer going up and down, you don’t need to worry about the holes.’ I wish I could feel as confident as he sounded right then, but I had to show faith.
‘You said you have a ship in orbit, from the fourteenth company?’
‘We have the codex standard rifle strength of a thousand battle brothers, but we are a heavy formation. So many Razorbacks and Helios variants carrying half squads, we have several more companies than normal to take up the full rifle strength, you understand. I think that has something to do wi’ this little operation.’ Lachlan said.
‘How so?’ I said, trying to sound confident and determined. The squad were lost somewhere between awe and terror, and come to think of it so was I.
‘All the Astartes are privileged to defend humanity by fighting the alien, but we may be the zonal if not the segmentum champions at the gentle art of stealin’ their technology, purging it, sanctifying it in the name of the Emperor and turning it against it’s former owners. I understand your regiment has a fine history at the alien fighting, too.’
My blood ran cold at that. I’d faced and beaten many varieties of the enemies of the emperor, all the while cowering and screaming like a little girl inside but they didn’t need to know that, but I could tell there was more to it than that. ‘What kind of xenos?’
‘Now that is the interesting question. Given the speed, the secrecy, and the confusion of all of this, I would say that something new has appeared that no-one understands yet.
There is a smaal force assembling at the Quaestio Abstrusa station, all of them units of high reputation. I would say that we are looking to some kind of reconnaissance in force, a probe into the home space of the xenos, wherever that should be.’
Well, that was my brain on holiday for the duration. ‘Then this should be interesting.’ I managed to say. Landing on the Astartes frigate and getting the regiment stowed was a blur, I must have done it all properly but I’m damned if I can remember how.
Inside, the ship- Sgiamh, whatever that meant- was an interesting composite of the elaborately ornate and the brutally austere. Clearly old enough to have undergone numerous changes and revisions, and of a class I didn’t recognise anyway although with the marines having their own ideas about how to run a spacefleet that was no surprise.
The crew were an odd lot; almost silent, they did their jobs with no more than an eyebrow-raise, a twitch, a glance- nonverbal communication. They were of every height from five foot up to almost the same stature as a Marine- I could have sworn some of them were but for the carapace.
‘Ay, chapter serfs.’ I heard Lachlan say, from behind me; he had come up with the next lot of Chimera. ‘What most people never quite understand about the Astartes is that to make a man a Marine, we have tae’ start while he’s still a growing lad. How do you tell how a nine or ten year old boy’s going to turn out? There was probably a time when even you could have gone the other way and turned into a wee, sleekit, cowerin’ timid mouse of a man.’
Now, I do not take kindly to jokes like that- that and I wasn’t certain that he was joking. My eyeline was about level with the bottom of his ribcage, that didn’t mean I could let him get away with it, Astartes or not.
‘Ay,’ he said before I could decide if I was going to swing for him, and if so where, ‘the Reclaimers said that when it came to knowing fear, you had the galaxy beat- but you still went in with them. That counts for somewhat. You and your wee aide.’
I noticed my nostrils were unusually clear, and looked round for Jurgen- no sign, nor of any Valhallan in this side corridor off the bay. Obviously, Lachlan had steered me aside to have this little word. ‘Your reputation’s safe enough with us.’
‘Now if you could promise the same about my skin, that would cheer me up no end.’ I said, trying to sound as if I was joking.
‘I doubt that- but a passin’ thought that might appeal to you. What sort of distinction could a nine or ten year old wean hope to achieve that might catch the eye of the Astartes as a potential recruit?’
I couldn’t imagine- piety? Scholastic merit? I didn’t know, and said so.
‘We would hae’ something a little more warlike to build on. Think you, that for the first approximation we are working through the clouded mirror of the Administratum. The easiest way for us to guddle out potential warriors of His Majesty is to look for the biggest troublemakers.’
I gave a choked snort of laughter, starting to see what Lachlan was getting at.
‘Ay, the worst nyaffs, toerags and scum auld Caledon has to offer…the tricks Ah used to play in the back streets around Auchterastra spaceport wouldna’ bear repeating.
The company did add it a’ up once and if we had been properly caught and sentenced for our crimes pre- induction, we would be due 4,815 years penal servitude between us. There was some thought of goin’ back and committing a few more just to bring it up to a nice round number but we decided it wouldna’ be seemly.’
Lachlan said it all so deadpan, it came out perfectly, and I doubled over laughing trying to imagine a Terminator squad on a petty crime spree, breaking windows, littering and spraying graffiti.
‘Ay, some chapters are a lot more stiffnecked about it than others, and I dare say Caledon’s an exception, being half forge and half feral world a’ in one, but I’d be surprised if the bulk of His Majesty’s work was done by honest men…which goes a long way to explain the Administratum, now I come to think of it.’
That was it, I couldn’t stop myself laughing. By the time I managed to pull myself back together the big Marine was gone to look after his ship and Jurgen, the one counterexample that came to mind, was standing there. ‘Commissar? Are you alright?’
‘Maybe.’ I managed to say. Even if the Sargeant-Commander could see further past my reputation than most- as he said himself later “We train to be crazy, no’ stupid”- he seemed to be more admiring of the fact that it was a fraud than anything else.