SD.net/ASVS 500

[Grand Admiral Ancaris]

Okay What follows is the opening post for a TGOD that I never got around to starting. Based on a conversation with Dalton, I've decided to go ahead and post it, and see what happens (Dalton suggested I post here, if it's in the wrong spot, please flog him and not me).

The Bismarck floated silently in space next to a large asteroid field in an star system near the heart of the Ancaris Imperium. The inverse nanolathing beam was sucking up the materials that would be needed to repair the damage done by the Covert ops attack of Transcend on rec cube sixteen.
Ever since the attack Grand Admiral Ancaris had been boiling mad. He couldn't believe the audacity of them attacking his ship in such a manner. He'd worked himself up so much that alot of the crew thought he was finally going to snap and slip into maddness. He didn't though, he'd somehow managed to control himself upto this point. Since they'd be here for a bit while the nanolathing beam ate up the asteroids he decided to take Chris' advice and go unwind and relax on the holodeck of one of the rec cubes.

**

Upon arriving at the Holodeck of rec cube 7 Ancaris tried to decide What to do. He needed to destroy something, but what? It couldn't be just a holodeck simulation... he needed something real to send to oblivion. hmm..... They still had some Ewoks left.... but not alot. Oh well, that was easy to imprivise. Instead of just being blasted into oblivion, he'd make it more of a challenge, and kill them in new, grotesque, and entertaining ways. An Idea was forming already. Walking over to the control panel of the holodeck, he punched in some numbers and had several tons of material diverted from the nanolathing as it became available. Until it all arrived, he would set up the terrain...

**

Three hours had passed since Ancaris had entered the holodeck. and since then several strange things had happened, 1500 tons of material from the nanolathing beam had been diverted from repair of rec cube 16 to the holodeck of rec cube 7. The last of the Ewoks left on board had also been transported there by remote from the holodeck. and now for the past 2 hours there had been reports from the decks in the immediate vecinity of the rec cube 7 holodeck of severe shakes, vibrations and various loud rumbling noises from the holodeck. Chris couldn't help but wonder what the hell Ancaris was doing in there. The crew wasn't willing to interupt the admirals activities for fear of retributions. With the crew unwilling to check on the Grand Admiral, Chris O'Farrell decided he had better see what the hell Ancaris was doing.

He entered into a scene of unbridaled carnage. All around, high, reinforced concrete walls that were at least 50 feet high dominated the landscape. It looked as if a small atomic bomb had gone off nearby. The buildings were severely damaged or completely destroyed, and the concrete walls looked like they'd been hit by a variety of weapons fire.

Surveying the landscape, Chris looked to his right, and saw something crawl through a small hole at the bottom of one of the massive concrete walls, roughly 200 feet away. After a few seconds passed he recognized it as an ewok, and one that looked like it was hauling ass as fast as it's small little legs could carry it, terrified for it's life.

The ground began to shake again, stronger than it had felt on the decks surrounding the holodeck, loose rubble falling from where it rested on the walls and the damaged buildings. Chris didn't move, wondering what was happening.

All of a sudden, the wall that the ewok had crawled through exploded towards Chris and the ewok, throwing chunks of concrete and steel hundreds of feet though the air, causing Chris to turn his face for a second to avoid the debris. When he turned to face it, the cause of the explosion of the wall filled his field of vision. A massive machine was rolling forward at awesome speed, the front a huge rolling metal drum, reminicent of the Steam Rollers of old. The Ewok, still fleeing for it's life, was just running past Chris when the massive machine caught up with it. The machine ran over the ewok without slowing in the least, it had actually seemed to gain speed on the final approach to the small creature. It flattened the ewok so throughly and so fast that the skin stretched briefly as all the blood and bodily fluids moved to the uncrushed parts of the body, before the skin could stand no more and burst in a fashion similar to that of a popping zit in the direction of Chris. He was quickly soaked in all of the fluids and the entrails that had been in the ewok. which pushed him back and knocked him on his ass as the huge machine continued on it's path. After a second it turned and smashed through another concrete wall before stopping infront of the still-stunned Chris. The machine came to a hissing hault as it's airbrakes were deployed. and seemingly very happy Grand Admiral Ancaris jumped down from the drivers seat high on the monstrosity, as it's twin diesel engines continued to sing. He was wearing a racing suit of some kind, which was completley covered in blood and gore, and a pair of racing goggles with windshield wipers on them... Grinning from ear to ear, he helped the speechless, gore-covered Chris to his feet, at which point he regained his sences a little. "What the hell is that thing!?" He said

Still grinning, Ancaris replied, "This..." he said, giving a grand gesture to the machine, "is the 'Foe-Reaper', my way of letting off steam after that cowardly attack. And it's given me a grand idea for a race."

"A race!!?? What kind of race??"

Somehow, the Ancaris' smile got even bigger, "The greatest race of them all..."

[Grand Admiral Ancaris]

This will be the ASVS/SD.net 500

The race takes place on the largest continent of a planet I've terraformed to a suitable racecourse.

Think of the race itself as a bizzare cross of a demolition derby, a trans-continental race, and a shooting gallery.

The Rules:

Vehicles:
1. Must be a steamroller.
2. Engines must be combustion based - be it external combustion based (a Steam Engine), an internal Combustion engine (Diesel, gas, etc), or other forms of combustion (a "magic burning" engine for example)
3. Cannot be capable of flight.
4. Speed not over 500 km/h.
5. Weight not over 1000 tons (1500 tons for lump club members)
6. Weapons: Must have at least one weapons mount of at least 100mm bore firing Plasma or projectile. May have upto 6 weapons mounts. No weapons with yields over 1kt (or comparable energy releases) allowed. Non-guided weapons only. No biological weapons allowed.
7. Must have a way for displaying tally marks on side showing how many ewoks you've flattened.
8. Must have Windshield wipers on drivers goggles (so you can clean the ewok blood and guts off as you go.)
9. Spare set of clothes for after race.
10. No lame copouts if you get your ass kicked and no killing the other contestants.

Points:

Points are scored for various things such as the following (in no particlar order).

1. Whoever crosses the finishline with their vehicle still functioning. (Whoever crosses first getting the most points, with progressively less points for following places)
2. How many ewoks are killed. Most points are awarded for Ewoks run over, then those killed with melee style weapons on the vehicle, then direct fire weapons, followed by explosive and small area-effect devices.
3. Opponent vehicles damaged or destroyed. Killing your opponent outright will result in immediate disqualification.

As an example, here's my steam-roller.

The "Foe-Reaper":
Top Speed: 400km/h
Weight: 1400 tons. (I'm a member of the Lump Club)
Power Plants: Twin 25,000hp diesel engines.
Manual Transmission
Other: Has Grinder wheels which will move into place in case of rocks or other large things are in the way and a raming wedge for raming through 8 foot thick concrete walls.
Weapons: 2 250mm mortars, a 150mm anti-tank cannon, a "Warthog" machine gun, a "Laser-sharpend" Scythe made of QC armor on a robotic arm also made of QC armor and an insane amount of mobility, and a Mega-industrial-strength Tree-chipper with an Aimable discharge-chute, and a hopper that holds upto 50 ewoks. (nothing quite like having the remnants of ewoks after they've been fed through a tree-chipper thrown all over you eh?)

Now, everybody have fun, and let the Chaos anarchy rule!