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A series idea of mine with art by kainsword17 that came from a challenge on another forum(The Insidious Bogleech) to create your own series and after writing out the outline below I asked another member of said forum who's a skilled and productive artist to do art for some of the characters for my series idea and I'm still working on this show idea so some of the concepts below will probably be refined a bit



Series Name-Thus Spake Zarathustra
Setting-Several Thousand to Several Million Years after a Techno-Organic Apocalypse that happens in the near future
Main Hero-Zoro-son of the village chief who has to learn to be a warrior after his father disappears and his village is attacked and he discovers his family's legacy the ability to shift to an Other State known as Zoroaster a mighty techno-organic warrior and goes on a journey to find his father


Other Early In Series Heroes
[*]Dag-first comrade in arms of Zoro they meet in the third episode after the Introductory Movie(episodes 1-4) has the Other State Dagon and a mysterious past

[*]Anna-second comrade in arms of Zoro she meets him in the sixth episode after the Introductory Movie and has the Other State Inanna and serves as Zoro's love interest

[*]Ash-third comrade in arms he meets Zoro in the eleventh episode after the Introductory Movie and is the first Main Hero to use multiple Other States though unlike many with multiple states his are three seperate states of the same level(Shamash, Ninurta, Nurgal) instead of related states of increasing power and is Anna's brother




Early Major Villains
[*]Gargouille-main villain of the Introductory Movie and leader of a group of bandits

[*]Gozer-main villain from episodes 5-26 and tried to usurp the power of Dream an Aspect A.I. whose power would allow him to subliminally control almost all other Other State users

[*]Asmodeus-main villain from episodes 30-44 and tried to take over the world by combining the power of the Serpent Crown and the Crown Of Thorns


Important Terminology
[*]Other State-a powerful ability that is hidden in all sentient Humanoid Races on the post-apocalyptic earth that allows them to transform into a more powerful techno-organic form capable of large scale destructive acts, users of this ability usually stay mostly humanoid in appearance the most common exception being one of the few non-humanoid species with access to other state transformation that isn't a monster happens to be the entire current horse species which usually after transformation are still very horse-like in appearance
[*]Alter State- similar to Other State except that it applies to sentient Beasts and non-humanoid monsters since one of the conditions of having the ability to change is not only being sentient but also having at least some human DNA in their genetic makeup which is the case with all monster species and some species of animal and because of this there are no mindless monsters here
[*]Aspect A.I.- powerful sentient A.I.'s that represent various aspects of reality ranging from simple focused ones like the Aspect of Blades to incredibly powerful long ranging abstract ones like Dream or Death, one of the things that makes aspect A.I.'s so powerful is that while they can create bodies of hard light to manipulate things and to make their presence known they also have the ability to control any Transformed State user due to the fact that their cores are made of the same tech as State Users but that usually isn't too dangerous since they are usually neutral in alignment and leave the world mostly alone
[*]Artifacts- powerful devices that are powered by the same technology that State Users and Aspect A.I.'s use and are thus sentient and range from being as simple as a sword to as complicated as a gigantic siege tower

since most characters and enemies that appear in this show are mythology based there could be a segment at the end of an episode explaining the source for a character and please let there be no flames though this is just a basic outline of my idea which was concieved on a thread on another forum for creating your own series and was designed in a tv show type format complete with a pilot movie and also don't complain about the art either I didn't draw it a friend did it and also I'm looking for suggestions for more characters and plotlines so lets get creative

God DAMN son! Have you ever heard of sentence-ending punctuation? Or the concept of sentences, as applied to written English? I'm sorry for being blunt, and I'm not going to assume you come from a nation where English is your first or second language; but for the sake of readability, you need to at least try to adhere to the most fundamental concepts of English grammar.

This gentleman comes from the United States. That doesn't mean anything, English still could be his second language. But, seeing this and his other WIP, I do not think his problems stem from poor English skills at all, but rather, from a different source entirely.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

fgalkin wrote:This gentleman comes from the United States. That doesn't mean anything, English still could be his second language. But, seeing this and his other WIP, I do not think his problems stem from poor English skills at all, but rather, from a different source entirely.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I'll admit I have autism and don't have very good grammar skills but once again does that give you the right to be a dickhead, in my opinion no it doesn't so do us all a favor go die in a fire

drrockso20 wrote:

fgalkin wrote:This gentleman comes from the United States. That doesn't mean anything, English still could be his second language. But, seeing this and his other WIP, I do not think his problems stem from poor English skills at all, but rather, from a different source entirely.

Have a very nice day.
-fgalkin

I'll admit I have autism and don't have very good grammar skills but once again does that give you the right to be a dickhead, in my opinion no it doesn't so do us all a favor go die in a fire

Autism is no excuse for bad punctuation or capitalization. And we reserve the rights here to mock all idiots equally, so yeah, he DOES have the right to do that.

I'm not an idiot and though I'll admit that my grammar sucks and the premise behind my other thread is in need of a Heavy overhaul
I'm open to positive suggestions and if you want this problem of mine to go away (since the only way I'm leaving this forum is if I get
banned and I want to stay) then help me overcome it don't just call me a moron that doesn't help anything it just continues the stereotype that people on the internet are jerks and trolls

1. Read the rules. On the Annoucement page.

2. Note the banner. Read that third piece after *and*.

3. Really, throwing up information and going "What do you guys think?!" is inviting critism. You are honestly painting a target on your head and the material is poorly executed and concieved. There's little to actually analyze or work with on any concept level. Be glad that most don't visit Fanfics except to read...fanfics because really throwing ideas on the dartboard rarely flies with some of the more...vocal posters.

So start over, give something more then a bunch of half thought out ideas. And I mean this for both topics. The alt history one will be shredded, mercilessly because it looks about as competent as Red Alert. And your fantasy ideas has heroes, love interest, villains, and a couple ideas. It barely expresses anything more then what one reads from the back of a video game box.

Ghost Rider wrote:1. Read the rules. On the Annoucement page.

2. Note the banner. Read that third piece after *and*.

3. Really, throwing up information and going "What do you guys think?!" is inviting critism. You are honestly painting a target on your head and the material is poorly executed and concieved. There's little to actually analyze or work with on any concept level. Be glad that most don't visit Fanfics except to read...fanfics because really throwing ideas on the dartboard rarely flies with some of the more...vocal posters.

So start over, give something more then a bunch of half thought out ideas. And I mean this for both topics. The alt history one will be shredded, mercilessly because it looks about as competent as Red Alert. And your fantasy ideas has heroes, love interest, villains, and a couple ideas. It barely expresses anything more then what one reads from the back of a video game box.

well that makes two people on the site who are actually nice to me and thanks for the advice

drrockso20 wrote:I'm not an idiot and though I'll admit that my grammar sucks and the premise behind my other thread is in need of a Heavy overhaul
I'm open to positive suggestions and if you want this problem of mine to go away (since the only way I'm leaving this forum is if I get
banned and I want to stay) then help me overcome it don't just call me a moron that doesn't help anything it just continues the stereotype that people on the internet are jerks and trolls

First of all, you've already gotten some constructive criticism to which you responded by calling people jerks and telling them to 'die in a fire.' Yes, it's probably much saltier and much more blunt than you're used to, but there are no nannies here to make sure that nobody is offended, ever.

Second, lurk more. You would benefit greatly by reading the announcements, and by reading through the threads around here to get an idea of what is acceptable behavior, and what isn't.

Third, as has been mentioned, autism is no excuse. While we understand that the autistic have difficulties with certain aspects of social interaction, this is an internet message board. You have hours and hours to formulate a response to a message. Also, claims of being on the autistic spectrum tend to be treated with a fair bit of initial skepticism, owing to the huge numbers of self-diagnosed Aspies out on the interwebs. I mean no offense by this whatsoever, I'm just letting you know so that you may understand why some people will react the way they do.

Fourth, if you're going to write fiction, you need to work on improving your grammar. As it is, your posts are enormous run-on sentences, which make them extraordinarily difficult to read. This tends to turn away potential readers, and makes those who do take the time to read what you write a bit . . . irritable. Allow me to show you the difference.

You wrote:A series idea of mine with art by kainsword17 that came from a challenge on another forum(The Insidious Bogleech) to create your own series and after writing out the outline below I asked another member of said forum who's a skilled and productive artist to do art for some of the characters for my series idea and I'm still working on this show idea so some of the concepts below will probably be refined a bit

And now,

You, with sentences wrote:A series idea of mine, with art by kainsword17, that came from a challenge on another forum (The Insidious Bogleech) to create your own series. After writing out the outline below; I asked another member of said forum, who's a skilled and productive artist, to do art for some of the characters for my series idea. I'm still working on this show idea, so some of the concepts below will probably be refined a bit.

See? I just made some very minor changes. Added a couple of periods, a bit of necessary capitalization, a few commas, and a semicolon. This makes it much easier to read.