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As yet un-named Cowboy Bebop fic

Posted: 2003-04-05 12:23am
by Stormbringer
A little bit of info. I’m setting this 8 years down the road from Real Folk Blues. There will eventually be some general spoilers for Cowboy Bebop: Knockin’ on Heaven’s Door but not in this chapter.
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The music had just stopped rumbling from the old jukebox when she walked in. Tall, lanky, and red headed she turned every head in the place. She sauntered in, a swaying undeniably feminine walk, and was greeted by catcalls and lewd offers. She wasn’t distracted; instead she searched the bar, looking for some one. He locked eyes with her and there was an instant of recognition and then he ran.

Drake Beckett had made a big mistake to wind up here in the backwaters of Ganymede. He’d been a mid-level player in the Red Dragons syndicate when it all went down. He’d taken years working his way up from a street enforcer on Mars and wanted to get ahead. It had been six months ago when he’d made his first (and last) attempt to snatch power. Instead of catapulting over the head of his rival it had ended up in a bloody shoot out through Alba City that had left a dozen bystanders and more Syndicate soldiers than he could count dead. Now he had a 12-million woolong bounty on his head and cowboys on his ass.

The red head charged toward him, winding and twisting her way through the startled patrons. She moved with an almost serpentine grace through the horde; Beckett instead tried to shoulder his way through them. He turned back to see if she was gaining when he crashed into the table and followed it to the floor. His legs were still tangled when the redhead made an impossible leap and tackled him. Her arms twisted around him and held him with strength far greater than he’d have ever credited her with.

“Freeze bounty-head person”, She growled

A desperate man he did no such thing. Instead he struggled harder. He groped and struggled with her as she held him fast. Finally he got her face in his hand, he forced her away with all his might. And she bit him! He howled as teeth dug into his hand. He swung hard at her and she rolled away in a ball.

He got to his feet as quickly as he could and dashed towards the door. It was his sole focus, the whole world shrinking to that door as he ran. He made it, the lanky young woman hard on his heels. He almost tore the door down getting out. Suddenly he felt a hard blow across his chest that knocked him flat on his back. That last thing he saw as he drifted into unconsciousness was a grizzled and bearded old man standing over him and smiling at the redhead

“Nice work Ed.” He said with a big grin on his face.

Posted: 2003-04-05 12:24am
by Stormbringer
I'll be titling it once I get more done.

Posted: 2003-04-05 12:25am
by haas mark
FIRST POST! I likes a lot! Will be happy to continue editing for you. =)

Posted: 2003-04-05 01:27am
by Dalton
Humorous, but needs editing.

Posted: 2003-04-05 01:34am
by Stravo
If I knew what Cowboy Bebop was I might like this more........








JUST KIDDING :P

Posted: 2003-04-05 01:52am
by Kuja
Dalton wrote:Humorous, but needs editing.
Well, if he'd waited for my reply to his PM...

Posted: 2003-04-05 02:28am
by haas mark
IG-88E wrote:
Dalton wrote:Humorous, but needs editing.
Well, if he'd waited for my reply to his PM...
Or taken the edited version I gave him.. but, eh, he's probably still looking it over.

Posted: 2003-04-05 09:40am
by Stormbringer
What's so wrong with?

Posted: 2003-04-05 09:51am
by haas mark
Stormbringer wrote:What's so wrong with?
Just some grammatical mistakes, mostly, as far as I see.. A bit of wording, here and there, but then, everything could stand some editing every now and then.

Posted: 2003-04-05 09:53am
by Stormbringer
If some one had pointed them out the first time I asked then that'd be fine.

Posted: 2003-04-05 09:55am
by haas mark
Stormbringer wrote:If some one had pointed them out the first time I asked then that'd be fine.
I sent it back to you the way I'd edit it, but eh.. Oh, well.. Maybe I could do better explaining what I'm changing?

Posted: 2003-04-05 09:57am
by Stormbringer
If some one could actually explain it I'd appreciate it.

Posted: 2003-04-12 12:14am
by kojikun
wai! :3 bounty head bounty head! :D