StarDestroyer.Net BBS

My first attempt (more or less) at writing, here goes

Chapter 1

Reginal Barclay was working late. Again. Ever since Voyager's return he'd had a bee under his bonnet that was driving him on another of his mad quests. The fact that his previous obsessive compulsive episodes had been successful only slightly mitigated his bizarre behavior, so this time he was being extra careful to keep this one quiet.

The idea had struck him a few nights after he'd been having some technical discussions with seven (lord how he hoped she never found his simulation of her!), if he modified the MIDAS array using her nanoprobes, he just might be able to open an actual wormhole to the delta quadrant. Of course once he'd done that, they'd finally have access to Neelix, and Reg was just dying to meet him. And so here he was working late, again. Just a few more tweaks to the power transmission assembly, and he'd be ready...

Meanwhile, several thousand years previous, a battle was raging. "Give me a status report, and lay down some fire on that damned Frigate" yelled Jarred Hex, captain of the Imperial Star Destroyer 'Merciless'. The battle had gone straight to hell with the loss of the 'Executor' and then the Death Star itself, not to mention the Emperor. Sithspawn, but this was turning out to be one hell of a bad day to be an Imperial. A LT. approached him, "Sir, we've lost more than a third of our shield generators, and our primary sensor array is off line. Hull integrity is optimal for the moment, but we've been isolated from the rest of the fleet and no clear chain of command has yet been established" Hex almost laughed, "chain of command? I'll give you a chain of command lt, now program a course and get us the hell out of here. And don't bother me with why it's impossible, JUST DO IT!" The Lt ran to navigators station, and after a brief argument the ship dissapeared into hyperspace.

Admiral Paris stepped into the currently empty control room aboard the MIDAS array, and took a quick look around. Just as he'd expected, he spotted Reginald Barclay crawling out of a jeffries tube. He just waited for the Lt Cmdr to notice him, but when it became clear Barclay was off in his own little world again, he made a couging noise to get his attention. "Ad, Admiral Paris, what a surprise. Wha wha what brings you here?" Reg was shocked to see the Admiral to say the least, he thought he was covering so well this time. But it didn't matter, everything was already in place. The Admiral spoke up, "Reg, I wanted a chance to talk to you alone, off the record. There have been some concerns about the hours you've been putting in, and as a favor I thought i'd come talk to you personally. Captain Janeway wanted to come, but Admiral Jellico wouldn't excuse her from the inquiry, i'm sorry. Now why don't we just go to my office and talk?" Reg stopped in front of the console he'd been heading for and smiled, "I d,d,don't think that will be necessary Admiral, i've got something to show you", and with that he activated the array.

"Captain Hex, we have a problem, there's some sort of anomaly affecting the drive system. Sir we can't tell where we're going", reported the young Lt who seemed to have gotten stuck being the Captain's new message boy. "Can we drop out of hyperspace?" Jarred asked while trying to maintain the proper imperial calm, he had to focus on holding the crew together now. One of the crew in the navigation area of the pit looked up ,"sorry sir, the engines aren't responding. We'll have to ride it out." The Captain nodded ,"understood, Lt inform all personnell to stay at battle stations and maintain full alert till we return to real space".

"Reg what have you done?", the Admiral asked as he stepped up to the console. Lights were fading in and out all over the station, and emergency klaxons were going off. Reg just smiled as he watched the display ,"just look Admiral, the wormhole, it's forming!" The Admiral was stunned for a moment, Barclay was right, a wormhole did appear to be opening. But the station was taking the stress well and the Admiral headed for the engineering console to see how much trouble they were in. "Isn't it beautiful Admiral? Anytime now we'll get the signal from Neelix.... wait, these readings... that's not the delta quadrant. No.. NONONONO", Barclay just stood there in denial as the inevitable happened, a risky and poorly planned modification to sensitive equipment led to a disastrous result. As consoles started to blow out all over the station and crew finally began to rush in to deal with the problem, the Admiral looked up the view screen "oh my god Reg, what have you done?", was all he could say as he watched the massive triangular vessel come bearing down on them from out of the wormhole.

((Don't flame me, I'm a hemophiliac!!!! ))

(Even I think this parts kinda weak, but I was gettin desperate to finish it)

Chapter 2

"Admiral we're getting a transmission!", Admiral Paris just kept staring at the gigantic vessel Reg had somehow dragged into the heart of the Federation without hearing a word. "Admiral? Should we respond?", the ensign was starting to sounds little worried, and the Admiral finally took notice of him. "What? A signal? Oh, oh yes, answer it immediately. And someone please get HIM out of here!", with that Adm. Paris gestured towards Barclay who was babbling in the corner about Neelix and wormholes and his mommy. Two guards came forward and hauled him away. The ensign piped up again, "we're receiving now sir" and with that the screen switched to a view of the command deck of the alien starship.

To say that the two groups of humans staring at each other were surprised would be an understatement, but they both put that aside and got to the business at hand. "This is Captain Jarred Hex of the Imperial Star Destroyer 'Merciless', who are you and how did we come to be here?", Hex was already having a bad day and he wanted some answers. The Admiral cleared his throat, "Ahem, well i'm Admiral Paris, I represent the United Federation of Planets. We're not entirely certain how you managed to get here, but we believe it is the result of an experiment performed by one of our engineers. I'm sorry for any trouble you're experiencing, and hope this incident won't foster any ill will between our respective governments" the Admiral finished with a big shit eating grin, no point getting these people riled up before star fleet could come reinforce them.

Captain Hex looked over to the comm station and nodded, the transmission was cut immediately. He turned to his command staff, "well what do we know?" Lt Gran stepped forward ,"the initial report from sensors suggests this is some sort of listening post, or possibly a communications relay of some kind. Its power levels are ridiculously low for a station of its size and from what we can tell it's only lightly armed. Of course, our sensors aren't at their best at the moment, so these aren't hard facts". The Captain nodded, "anything else? Damage report maybe?" and he looked over to an engineer standing close by. "We've got the primary reactor stabilized and the shields will be back to spec within a day, maybe two. We'll have to machine some new parts before the sensors are back to 100% though", the engineer looked a little nervous, he was technically just a sergeant but the officers in the department had all been killed. "Thank you for the report lieutenant, I trust you'll keep me informed of your progress", the Captain was already turning to another crew member and didn't notice the new Lt's grin. "Alright comm, let's see that 'admiral' again, smiles everyone!"

"Starfleet HQ reports the 'Hathoway' and the 'Nile' are enroute sir, and will be here in 4 minutes." The Admiral nodded, he was extremely uncomfortable with this situation and the sooner he had a few ships available the better. Somehow the term 'Imperial Star Destroyer' just did not put him at ease. "They're back sir", the comm officer threw him a look. "Onscreen ensign. Captain, is everything alright? If you're in need of assistance, we'll do what we can to help." The Imperial crew watched the Admiral and smiled away as ordered, "why yes, thank you Admiral, if it wouldn't be too much trouble would you mind sending us all the data you have relating to this 'experiment' which brought us here and a full set of local star charts?" Paris glanced over to the sensors officer who whisperd, "one more minute", then turned back to the display. "Well, of course captain, we'll send over the data from the experiment right away. But it will take a few minutes, is there anything else I can help you with?" The Captain stopped smiling, "as a matter of fact Admiral, you can stop trying to buy time for those two ships to show up and save your ass! You have 30 seconds to comply", and with that the communication was cut.


((Uhmmm, sorry?))

Chapter 3

Captain Hex studied the tactical display for a few moments. They were up against beings who apparently had the ability to create wormholes, and judging by the incoming ships their sub-hyper drive was capable of faster than light travel in real space! But he was an officer of the Galactic Empire dammit, and no way was he going down without a fight. "Alright we'll only get one shot at this so let's do it right, line up everything we have with the lead ship on an intercept course and give em everything we have.... FIRE!"

Micheal Donovan had been promoted to Captain of the starship 'Nile' just three weeks ago, and he was bound and determined to prove he was worth his weight in gold. This alien ship had finally provided him the opportunity he needed to show star fleet what he was capable of. "Sir", ensign Montez chirped from ops, "the Hathoway has dropped to impulse, we're holding at warp 3". Donovan grinned to himself, he'd show these Imperials what an 'intrepid' class starship was made of! "Stay on target, tactical pre...", he didn't get to finish the sentence as a massive salvo of energy was unleashed into their path, and his ship was transformed into a high speed cloud of super heated vapor.

"What happened? Where the hell did they go?" Captain Hex was really starting to lose his temper now, that funny duck shaped starship had completely dissapeared. Sensors looked up, "they're gone sir, completely blown away". Hex took a moment to consider, just how far off had their tactical analysis been? "Where's that other ship, the big one?" "They've dropped to sub light speed captain and are accelerating towards the station, though slowly", Lt Gran reported, "they were trying to hail but our jamming field seems to have completely disrupted their communications, and we're no longer detecting any weapons locks on the ship". "Hmmm, this situation is getting stranger by the moment, I need some accurate information dammit. Alright, bring us between the station and that ship, and dispatch our zero-g stormtroopers to bring me that Admiral I was talking to". The Lt nodded ,"aye sir" and the crew jumped to it.

Onboard the starship Hathoway, things were a little stirred up. "Nancy, I really need sensors and comm back asap. David, if it's no trouble, could you get us to full impulse so we can find out what's going on over there?" the crew was on a first name basis after all these years, but none of them missed the sarcastic edge to the captain's orders, he was pissed. "I can't believe that little punk Donovan, I told him to maintain formation. Nancy, we need comm NOW, HQ has to be warned about that monster". Nancy Chan looked over to the Captain for a moment, "i'm sorry captain, we just can't cut through this interference they're generating, there's static on every frequency". Kyle Griever, the ships first officer, spoke up "maybe we should warp out of range of the jamming sir, and come back once we've warned the fleet?" Captain Hasting looked at him in shock, "and abandon those people on the array? I could never condone such a thing, we'll just have to get in close enough to beam them out first." Cmdr Griever just nodded and looked over to the tactical station, Lt Flar nodded back. "Oh well" he thought to himself, "least we're locked and loaded".

Admiral Paris was manning a secondary station aboard the array, ever since the 'Merciless' started jamming they'd had difficulty getting a lock on it. Not that the station had any serious armaments, but any resistance was better than none. He'd been firing the stations phasers at the Imperials every time the screen cleared enough to see them, but so far they hadn't bothered to return fire. But he knew they could, he'd seen what happened to the 'Nile'. He was just firing off another blind shot when everyone on the control deck heard something clamping down against the hull. "Someone get security up here, NOW!" the Admiral roared, hoping against hope it wasn't too late. The roof caved in a loud explosion and a massive white armored figure burst in. Too late. A few people started to fire phasers at it, but before they could do any damage a few small metal cylinders shot out of it, then they exploded and the lights went out.

The New Orleans class frigate 'Hathoway' was racing towards the MIDAS array at full impulse when suddenly the interference cleared. "Get that ship on-screen, I need to see what's going on." "I can't captain", Nancy replied from ops. Cpt Hasting cut her off, "and why not?". "Because sir, they're not there, the ships dissapeared." The captain stood up and walked towards the ops station ,"well track their ion trail then, or find their warp signature, something" "That's just it sir", ensign Chan replied ,"there is no warp signature, they're just... gone". The captain looked up at the MIDAS array on the screen, wondering what the hell had been set loose on the federation. "Well, we'd better get some dam.. WHAT THE HELL?" the captain cringed away from the screen as it lit up from the MIDAS array erupting.

"Wha.. where am I? Hello?", admiral Paris sat up and looked around, he was in a small square room on a metal bunk. Standing across the room from him were two soldiers in white armor, and Captain Hex. The Captain stepped forward, "now Admiral, where were we?"




((Uhmmm, is anyone reading this? Comments? Questions? Pleas for mercy? )

I am reading it, while you have the graspings of a real story you don't have all the flowing elements in there yet to apporach Stravo or Mark S levels of perfection

Go read thier Fan-fics and figure out what yours is missing

The story is decent standard stuff and still at the very beginning, so judging it already is a problem.
Nonetheless a bit of constructive criticism:

First there's nothing that graps the reader's interest in paticular.
That maybe due to the fact this is a stock beginning, so here are some ideas for the chapters yet to come:
In Stravo's fanfic, there where the interesting, truly great characters.
Your protatgonists are still a bit flat, you could flesh them out a bit, tell us something about them, their stories, motivations etc.

Next the action is still a bit simple (mabe also due to the fact this story is still at the very beginning), you could bring in multiple storylines, Mark S's fanfic features many parallel storylines and he handles them excellently, you could look there for an example.

If you included that for the future it would become a decent story (at least in my humble opinion), you could also ask MoO, Stravo or Mark for advice, those guys know how to write real good fiction.

Hey, replies!

Uhmm, you think i'm not reading Mark S and Stravo's fics? They're awesome, but not after anything quite that ambitious yet, I just wanna finish the thing. What the heck, it's a start, right?

Yep, the start is ok so far though it's nothing special, if you do it right now it can become really good.

Aye I ment to say something after you had posted Chapter two... and did, but my computer is evil and lost the post for me anyway, yes it's got potential... and don't worry about a lack of replies or feedback too much, at the moment I think we are VERY spoilt on this board that I sometimes think that a good fiction won't get the praise they normally get because we have two classics in the making. HAving said that the simple begining has a lot of potential, and the story is one I'll be keeping an eye on. (I liked the whole, wheres it gone... find it... oh wait it's that rapidly expanding hunk of rubbish out there oh well...

You know, speaking from experience, I have to say that the absolute best thing you can do is KEEP WRITING. It sounds corny and trite but I've been writing non stop since I was five, mostly short stories and small chapters up until Late college/Law School when I tried my hand at some full fledged books. I read the stuff I just wrote SIX MONTHS ago and it isn't as nice or as smooth as what I'm writing now. Heck, if you read the first chapter of Starcrossed (OH, Did I mention I had a Fanfic onthis board?) and compare it to 15 you will see a difference. Writing is a talent that must be expressed, writing is the only thing that will help make you a better writer (sounds circular but it really works)

Any way, those are my two cents, I don't like to talk about other authors' works because I'm very senstive to the work that goes into these things and the hurdles one faces when you actually let others read your work. That first day when I posted my first chapter I was TENSE until the first words of praise started to dribble in and let me tell you when people say they love what you are doing...you want to write more!!

So don't give up, keep on writing.

I have to agree with Stravo here I look at some of the stuff I wrote a few months ago I just cringe. I was bad at dialogue especially. everyone was talking like Vulcans so flat and boring, no emotion.

And it's probably best if unlike me you have some idea where you're going and not just writing random scenes that string together to make a story somehow. I screwed up a few times doing that.

Guys! You make me blush! And I'm sure Stravo too (not to put words in his mouth).

I think the beginninng has the potential to go a lot of different directions. I liked the way you used Barkley as the plot device to open the wormhole. I think you rushed to gun play a little but hay, that's just me. I took forever to set up the conflict. And that's just it. It's your style. Go with it. The more you write, the more it will develope. I'm flattered that people are refering you to my story and I hope it helps but I think you have to write the story you want to write, how you want to write it. Like everyone is saying, the more you write the better it will get.

But what do I know, no one's ever paid me to do this or anything. Yet.

Chapter 4

Starfleet HQ, San Fransisco
Admiral Jellico's office (come on, who better?)

Cmdr Kyle Griever was settling into a typically comfortable chair, and took a moment to look around the Admiral's new office. It was fairly typical of the Admiral, spartan with just a few personal touches from his family. Kyle smiled to himself, some things in this universe would never change, and the 'old man' was one of em. "All right commander, much as I might like to catch up on old times we have some serious business to take care of. These 'Imperials' Paris reported are obviously a serious threat, much to dangerous to allow one of those peace loving play captain's to handle it. Huh, they'd probably give away the homeworld." They both got a chuckle out of that, Kyle was one of the small cadre of officer's who supported the Admiral's more rigid approach to starfleet life, and they didn't have a very high opinion of the majority of the command staff.

Jellico leaned forward and folded his hands together, "it's taking most of my time right now to see that Janeway and the rest of her misfits pay for their crimes instead of getting medals, so I need someone I can trust to look into this. That's where you come in." Kyle leaned in himself, this is where things got interesting! "I want you to take command of the 'Sentinel', you'll be assigned a patrol route, but if any sign of these 'Imperials' turns up you're to make a beeline for it. Any questions?" Kyle stood up and saluted, "Not a one sir, and you can count on me!" The Adm stood up and shook Kyle's hand, "I never doubted it for an instant, good luck commander."


Comm relay station 3371, 86 lightyears from Betazed
noonish

"Yeah this is the life, the glamour and the excitement, how DO we do it Snotrag?" "Dammit Tac, I told you to stop calling me that!" with that ensign Hanky got up from the console and headed for his quarters, there wasn't enough room on the satellite station to go anywhere else. Ensign Tac didn't even bother watching him go, just laughed to himself and kept watching the board, like there was anything else to do on this hunk of junk. He was just thinking about getting some lunch when the proximity sensors alerted him to a nearby vessel, "what the? Hey Snotrag, get out here!" Hanky came back out to see what 'amusements' Tac had dreamed up now, "what now Tac? I'm trying to watch a holo novel". Tac ignored his complaints as usual, "are there any ships due in? One just popped up on sensors." Hanky moved up to the comm board, "I don't remember anything being due, i'll try signalling them. Attention unknown vessel this is relay station 3371, are you in need of assistance?"

"Oh thank goodness 3371, we thought we were all alone out here! Our main power blew and we lost most of the primary systems, can we dock while we make repairs?" Hanky looked over to Tac, "whattya doin Snotrag, bring em in." Hanky didn't even bother to tell him off again, he was too interested in having some new faces to meet after three months alone with Tac. "You can dock at our number one airlock uhmmm, i'm sorry, I didn't catch your name?" The unknown ship came back on the line, "name's Durmagar, freighter pilot, I sure do appreciate this fellas. See ya in a minute." With that the signal closed, and Tac and Hanky headed to the airlock to meet the new arrival.

As they reached the airlock it was already cycling open and a man was coming through, a tall smooth shaven guy with a brush cut, wearing a somewhat military cut grey jacket and pants. He was smiling and walked right in, "hey fellas, where is everybody? I didn't come at a bad time did I?" Tac held out his hand to him, "perfect timing, we've been alone here for three months now, a new face is always welcome." Durmagar smiled and pulled the E-11 around from behind his back and shot them both point blank in the chest, "well, glad to oblige fellas." After a quick check to make sure they were both dead, he took out a comlink and spoke into it, "this is Durmagar, objective secured." A black humanoid shaped droid came through from his ship and headed for the command deck where it plugged itself in and began monitoring transmissions. Durmagar reboarded his Lambda class shuttle and began prepping to head for the next in his list of targets, seven more of the droids watching him from the cargo hold, "frelling sith, when are they gonna give me one of the hard jobs."

Stardestroyer 'Merciless', Cpt Jarred Hex office

The Cpt had been sitting in his office for the past several hours looking over the transcripts from his 'conversation' with admiral Paris. So far everything the admiral had been persuaded to tell them had been verified through their subversion of the comm stations, though the command crew were still in shock at how this 'StarFleet' could be so lax in security as to route all their long range communications through unguarded stations. They were already gaining a good general overview of the federations fleet deployment, and location of strategic resources, now they just needed a target. Hex would be damned if this Federation didn't pay for hijacking an Imperial warship. He was just getting ready to call it a day when the latest report came in from Intel, so he took a moment to look over the main items. One caught his eye right away, and he activated the intercom to the bridge, "Lt Gran this is the Captain, I want you to set course for starship depot Z15, you'll find the coordinates in the latest analysis. I think it's time to do some 'shopping'"

Better but seriously

Ensign Hanky?

Better if he had shot one and the other had run away and fall down a ladder well to his death
(They ARE red-Shirts after all)

I couldn't resist, those are characters from 'the stoned age', somehow it was easy to picture starfleet 'officers' as a couple of stoners.

As for the death, hell, made me laugh

A blink from the Imperal as he plungs to his doom and saying idiot would have been funner

For example
Lemme write it real quick

Tac held out his hand to him, "perfect timing, we've been alone here for three months now, a new face is always welcome." Durmagar smiled and pulled the E-11 around from behind his back and shot Tac in the chest. Hanky(I hate that name) took a step backwards his brain not quite yet caught up, prehaps hoping to run, but the open jeffries tube and the twenty meter long drop put any hopes of that out of the picture. Durmagar blinked steped over the one he had shot and looked down to see the broken body of the second one. "Idioit" he said as he turned away. , he took out a comlink and spoke into it, "this is Durmagar, objective secured." A black humanoid shaped droid came through from his ship and headed for the command deck where it plugged itself in and began monitoring transmissions. Durmagar reboarded his Lambda class shuttle and began prepping to head for the next in his list of targets, seven more of the droids watching him from the cargo hold, "frelling sith, when are they gonna give me one of the hard jobs."


Even better is if you could mention the fact that there is normaly a cover over that tube and they never got around to finding it and covering it would only add to the stoner image

So portray the feds as dumb enough they're practically defeating themselves? I gotta say, it does hold a certain appeal!


And if you hate the name Hanky, go ahead and call him Snotrag

Yes thats the point, further reforce the modern view of Red-shirt life span and you add that bumbling joke in there it further ehnaces the dark-humor

Chapter 5

Starship depot Z15

Sub administrator Kuo was having a pretty slow day. He wasn't bothered by this of course, he knew he was an important man in an important job, so he took the good with the bad. He took a quick walk around the deck to check on the other personnel who all appeared to be quite busy (while he was looking at least), so he headed back to his office to wait for the shipment that was due to arrive that day. He'd just gotten really engrossed with some inventory reports when his screen activated and the comm tech on duty appeared. "Sir, a vessel is approaching the depot and have sent us a list of equipment they'd like transported aboard as soon as possible." Kuo looked to the screen, "all right, put them through to my terminal."

The screen switched to a view of a large bridge with several humans in grey uniforms moving about, the apparent commanding officer was waiting. "This is sub administrator Kuo, can I help you?" The officer nodded, "yes, i'm captain Jerrad Hex, I have a list of supplies i'd like to retrieve from the yard." "Oh i'm sure you would captain," Kuo shot back ,"but do you have an appointment?" Hex looked off screen for a moment, then focused back on Kuo "well what kind of a question is that? Of course I have an appointment, if you'll check your files under the listing 'Hex', you'll find we've filled out all the necessary forms and gotten the proper authorizations. Now if you could move this along, I am in rather a hurry." Kuo opened a second window on his terminal and quickly checked the captain's story ,"hmmmmm, yes everything seems in order captain, we should have everything to you in a few hours." And with a sharp gesture Kuo cut the connection, then got the comm tech back on ,"they check out, give them what they want and get them out of here. Honestly, do I have to do everything myself?" Back out on the main deck the comm tech took another look at the main screen where the massive triangular ship was looming ,"uhhhh, Bob? Isn't there something just a little... off, about that ship?" Bob looked at the screen for a minute ,"you mean that mile long monster covered in gun turrets with power levels off the chart? Nope, why'd ya ask?" "Just bored I guess, wanna go to the holodeck?" Bob nodded and they headed off to the entertainment level.


The bridge of the 'Merciless'

Lt Gran had been serving in the Imperial Navy for eleven years now, but despite everything he had seen and done in that time ;including an apparent jump across the galaxy; he just could not believe what the sensors were telling him. "Well Lieutenant", the Cpt asked him "did they buy it?" The Lt stood up and faced the Cpt ,'yes sir, they bought it. Those codes we secured off their sub space net worked perfectly." The Cpt watched through the view port as small craft worked to bring them the equipment they wanted ,"you know, I could learn to like this galaxy."


Exxilon 3-2, near to Federation research outpost 885

Durmagar lowered the macrobinoculars and rolled back behind cover. He tore open a pack of rations and considered what to do next. He'd been on this moon for two days now, and after near constant monitoring of the outpost he'd seen no signs yet that they'd detected him, scans of the area hadn't increased and no patrols had been sent out. Frankly, he was starting to wonder if this star fleet was a military organization at all, or just some freaky cultists. They reminded him of those freaks at the spaceport who were always waving pamphlets, except less well organized. Ah well, time to earn his pay.

He stowed his gear and started moving down towards the compound. It was a fairly simple set up with one main building and several smaller dome like habitations, from what Durmagar had observed so far there were no more then seventeen people there. At last count eight were in the main building and seven had gone to the domes, and two had snuck off to the edge of the woods, something he'd observed happened frequently here. Oh well, he wasn't gonna complain. Fifteen minutes later he was peering into a small clearing where a man and a woman were pretty involved in an intense examination of each other, and didn't notice the guy in the camouflaged gear step into the clearing. Well, not till they he kicked them anyway, then they noticed. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DO... oh shit." The two of them froze when they caught site of the blaster pointed at them, and the man moved protectively in front of the woman. "Look, we didn't know the planet was inhabited, so why don't you just put down the gun and we can talk okay?" the guy tried to smile and look non threatening, the woman shook her head in disgust. "Geoffrey, he's not a native, and I doubt he wants to make friends." Before Durmagar could say anything the man stepped forward ,"never mind her, i'm ensign Geoffrey Donovan of the United Federation of Planets, we come in peace".

Durmagar shook his head then smashed the guy in the face with the butt of his rifle ,"shut up moron, now just lay there and be quiet and I won't have to shoot you. You to lady, on the ground". She laid down next to Donovan ,"actually it's ensign Sanchez, not lady". "Hey, that's great lady, now tell me how many armed men are on duty right now and i'll really be impressed", he kept the barrel of his convincing argument in her face in case she got cute. Donovan started to mutter something unintelligable, then shut up when an armored boot slammed into his groin. "So lady, feeling helpful?" Sanchez watched the gun for a moment ,"there's a security officer in the main building who's armed, that's about it". Durmagar delivered a quick kick to her temple and she went out like a light, "much obliged lady", then nailed Donovan a few times til he was out to ,"jerk".

About five minutes later the front door to outpost opened and a man in a starfleet uniform walked in with a woman slung over his shoulder. A blue skinned humanoid in a security form jumped up and ran over ,"what happened?" "Sanchez fell on a rock, here", and with that Durmagar handed Sanchez over to the Bolian guard, who took her and started turning towards one of the doors. Durmagar reached forward and took the Bolian's phaser then shot him in the back before he could complain, then headed for another door before the pair even hit the ground. Entering a hallway he nearly bumped into woman with crinkly forehead, "hey watch it buddy!" "Eat me bitch", as the woman's face shifted an expression of extreme shock he took great satisfaction in shooting her, just too bad she wasn't dead. Oh well, four down, thirteen to go. Durmagar grinned, this job was turning out to be kinda fun after all.

"Alert! Alert! All personnell report to command, this is not a drill." Ensign Brooks jumped off his cot where he'd been spending his off time reading and headed for the main building, this was the first alert they'd had on the base, heck it was the first anything they'd had and he wasn't about to miss out by being the last to arrive. He noticed a few of the others as he ran to the main building and into command, only ensign Richards had beaten him there, so he grabbed a good seat. The other off duty personnell gathered quickly and they started to ask each other what might be happening, and where were the others? "Uhmm guys? Where is everybody? And who sounded the alarm?", now everyone was getting nervous and started to head for the door. But it didn't open. Brooks tapped his comm badge, "computer, why isn't the door opening? Where's the on duty personnel?" A strange male voice replied, "the doors locked stupid, and you've all been relieved of duty, so sit down and shut up or i'm gonna have to hurt ya." They looked at each other for a moment, then Brooks tried again, "who is this? What do you want?" "This is Jembrin Durmagar of the Galactic Empire, what I want is a little peace and quiet while I contact my commander, now stow it pajama boy or i'll shut you up myself."

This obviously wasn't working so Brooks tried to find a good grip to pry the door open, of course, that turned out not to be a good idea. He started twitching upon contact, then Richards grabbed him to try and pull him away. Everyone else backed off as the two of them did the electric jiggy, then the lights in the room died and everyone heard the two bodies fall to the floor. Crewman Selkirk checked them over quick, "no pulse, they're both gone. What do we do now?" The five remaining starfleet crew considered for a moment, "I know, the air vent! It should be safe now the powers out right?" This was suggested by chief engineer Hodge, who seemed to be the senior officer now, so off they went to the far wall where three of them boosted Hodge up to the grill. "Okay, i'll just go to the armoury then come back for the rest of you." Then he grabbed the grill and the juice started flowing through him, into the group holding him up. Selkirk watched in horror as they fried and dropped to the floor, then he quietly walked over to a chair and took a seat. Damn did he wish he'd become a flight attendant.

Durmagar watched the monitor as the starfleeters compliantly wiped themselves out, except for that last one. Ah well, he could put him in with the rest later. He activated his comm link and got his signal boosted through his shuttle to the fleet, "this is Durmagar, base is secured, out." He leaned back and relaxed, and waited for the 'Merciless', he was starting to like this galaxy.

Well, they're getting longer, that's a sort of progress!

Asdeed wrote:Well, they're getting longer, that's a sort of progress!

And funnier, but the last part with the Feddies was rather, uh , even for federats. Although all in all I really like the work you've done.

I'll be honest, I got stuck half way through that chapter and just sorta threw on the first ending that came to mind, so i'm not thrilled with it. But only the feddies really suffered for it, so i'll live, hehehe

((Well, here we go again ))



Chapter 6

Starship Depot Z15, sub administrator Kuo's office
mid fight


"What do you mean you just gave it to them? That was Star Fleet military surplus for heaven's sakes, you can't just hand it out like candy!" Kyle wasn't having the best of days. He was still adjusting to his new command, hadn't drunk anything but synthehol for more than a week, and now here he was following up on the first lead he'd gotten and he finds a starship depot had been raided without a shot fired. And if the records were right, this wasn't even the first time. Yep, Starfleet Security would be getting a report from him, this was just ridiculous. Sub Administrator Kuo barely deigned to glance at him despite his outburst ,"well of course we gave them what they wanted, they had all the proper identification. I had no reason to suspect them of anything". Kyle's jaw almost hit the floor at that ,"no reason to suspect? Just how many mile long dreadnaughts do you think Starfleet has????" "Now really captain, there are so many races in the Federation, we can't keep track of every vessel in use. Besides, we have security procedures in place, and they passed all the checks. They filled out all their requests IN ADVANCE, unlike SOME people, their authorization codes DID check out, so how do you explain all that if they aren't federation citizens hmm? Now if you don't mind i'm quite busy, good day".

After a few moments Kyle got up and left. They'd already downloaded all the records of what happened, and clearly weren't going to be getting any help here. He paid little attention to the people around him as he made his way back to the transporter room. Despite his general uselessness, Kuo had raised a good question. The Imperials had been brought here, they didn't come of their own accord, so how did they know so much about federation space? He wished Admiral Paris had told them more before they'd lost contact with MIDAS, they just didn't know enough about this situation. He nodded to the transporter chief as he rematerialized back aboard the 'Sentinel' then headed for his quarters, he needed to contact the Admiral about what he'd learned, then find out where the information leak was and plug it.



Edge of the Horvath System, Federation space near the Cardassian border

Things were relatively calm in the Horvath System, especially out near the edge. And then with a burst of light a short, roundish, and not particularly sleek vessel appeared marking the first visit of a manned starship to the system in nearly five years. Forty seconds later a second vessel dropped out of warp behind the first one and began to chase it into the system. This ship was smaller than the first and had a vaguely hammerhead appearance, but the most menacing aspect of the ship were the disruptor blasts it was lobbing after the lead ship.

Bridge of the 'Coleman', a class four federation transport

Lights were blinking on and off throughout the bridge, at least where the panels hadn't blown out already. That and the sparks was all the remaining bridge crew had to see by, so Captain Harry Kane wasn't complaining. Well he was, just not about the lighting. He was currently manning a station at the back of the bridge that had the sensors and weapon systems tied into it, there just wasn't anyone else left to handle it. "Jocelyn, keep trying to get out that mayday. Streib, make for the gas giant, maybe we can lose them in all those moons or something". His commands were punctuated with the ship rocking from another hit by their friends back there. They'd been running for nearly an hour and things were not looking good, they hadn't picked up a response from any starfleet ships, and no matter how they tried to lose him, the damn pirate's just kept on coming. The cpt flashed back to reality as the ship bounced around from a nearby torpedo detonation.

"Still no response sir, I think the damned Orions are jamming us, shouldn't they be picking on the Caradassians or something, I mean we WON the war for pity's sake!" Crewer Jocelyn Wainwright was trying to hold it together, but she hadn't signed on for this kind of thing, since when did Federation transports get hit by pirate's? This was the 24th century for crying out loud, civilized beings just didn't act this way! "Just keep trying Jocelyn, at least til we find some cover", the captain was trying not to sound worried, but he had reason to be. His instruments showed the shields were starting to fail, and the structural integrity field was already strained to the max. He'd been firing back, but they were barely singing the raider's shields. Another few moments and they'd lose the engine's, then the boarding parties would plunder his ship and probably kill or enslave him and his crew. He targeted in on the pursuing ships port nacelle and let off a shot, to his surprise he actually got a direct hit. Before he could celebrate though he noted the shot hadn't penetrated their shields, which would be bad enough of course, but they'd also just launched another of those proximity blast torpedo's. 'Well', he thought to himself, 'i've had a good run'. He squeezed his eyes closed to wait for the explosion, then after a few seconds with no effect, he opened them again. He spun around to face the main screen as he heard the gasps from his crew, "what the hell is that thing?"

Bridge of the Orion "privateer" 'Ravager'

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT THING!" Cpt Krayt screamed as he watched the torpedo that by all rights should have ended this chase crash harmlessly against a massive grey vessel that had simply appeared out of nowhere. He looked to his crew for an explanation but everyone seemed just as confused as he was. "Well we aren't fighting that beast, that's for damned sure, give it a blast from the forward guns then get us out of here". Almost instantly four disruptor banks dumped a series of rapid fire green blasts out towards the triangular shaped monster, quickly followed by a spread of four plasma torpeodes. The 'Ravager' started reversing course as soon as the shots were fired, then stopped dead in space. Two of Krayt's crew spoke up almost simultaneously, "tractor beam captain", one of his fellow Orion's piped then the Andorian he'd taken on said ,"they're hailing, what do we do?" The cpt didn't hesitate ,"put them on screen, weps you find that tractor beam and take it out, then we book it!"

The screen switched to a view of a large command deck with many humans in grey uniforms, one spoke up ,"this is cpt Hex of the Imperial Star Destroyer 'Merciless', you will power down your ship and surrender immediately or we will fire on you". Krayt noticed the slight nod from weps ,"maybe another time captain whoever, i've got places to be", he flashed a smile as his ships weapons again fired everything they had to break them free. His smile faded a bit when nothing happened ,"what the hell?" Captain Hex nodded to one of his crew as they reported some ineffectual weapons fire ,"well, you were warned" then the screen changed back to a view of the 'Merciless'. Krayt jumped to the navigation controls and tried to force the ship to move as a rain of plasma blasts crashed down on his ship, "shields are collapsing, we've gotta ge..", the statement was never finished as a turbolaser bolt ripped into the ships bridge. A few seconds later all that was left was some scrap.

Bridge of the 'Coleman' a few seconds later

"Well", cpt Kane was the first to speak up ,"ya don't see that everyday". The rest of the crew just nodded and waited to see if the new arrival was here to help, or would they now turn on them? Jocelyn noticed a blinking on her board and put the communication on screen, cpt Kane did a quick double take but went with it. "This is Captain Harry Kane of the 'Coleman', thanks for the rescue... i'm sorry, but who am I thanking?" "This is Captain Hex of the Imperial Star Destroyer 'Merciless', we came as soon as we heard your call, do you need any further assistance?" "Much appreciated 'Merciless', but I think we can handle it from here, though I would like to extend greetings from the United Federation of Planets and express our hopes for further contact?" Hex smiled at the cpt ,"all in good time captain, all in good time". The image returned to a view of the 'Merciless' as it began moving away, then stretched forward and dissapeared. "Well", he said again, "ya don't see that everyday".

Chapter 7

The 'USS Sentinel' cruised through warp towards its rendezvous with the 'USS Konig' as ordered by Adm Jellico earlier that week. Within the ship the captain's quarters were well lit, and Cpt Griever was... nowhere to be found?

Quick camera zoom across the room shows dirty laundry laying about the room, furniture knocked over and several suspicous empty bottles on the floor near the couch, the only sound that could be heard was a loud snoring coming from the next room. A now very angry director yelled ,"CUT! Where the hell is he?? I'm tryin to shoot a scene here, WORK WITH ME PEOPLE!"

By this point the assistant director was peering into the next room ,"uh Bob, he's totally shitfaced" Bob the director considered breaking several expensive pieces of equipment ,"crap, well that's a wrap then people, let's pick this up tomorrow", then headed for the bar.



To be continued!

(don't lynch me, I chafe! )

Funny a comiedic version of the old SW VS ST angle