Platoon Commander- Starwars based fanfic new idea!

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Jaris Merc
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Platoon Commander- Starwars based fanfic new idea!

Post by Jaris Merc »

Well I typed this in less than an hour with whatever came out of my demented mind! Tell me what you think and yes I speak english and I can read well but I never could fully grasp the proper writing stuff...




Chapter 1

Sitting in his temporary HQ listening to the ever lowering amount of Blaster fire, Commander Endral wondered how his troops where fairing. His Platoon known as Bravo Platoon was under orders to take a flanking position on the Gamorrean village to cut off any restreating Gamoris while Tango and Zulu Platoons cleansed the village. From his vantage point he couldnt tell very damned much at all. Except for the occasional blaster bolt setting a hootch ablaze and the ever occuring squeal from a wounded Gamori.

"Not very damned much at all.." Endral said to him self, drawing the attention of his Comm man " Sir?"

Oh nothing, just talking out load so I dont die of boredom... Ya know this crap just gets old sitting and waiting." Endra replied.”

Sir, yes I know what you mean, ive been listening to comm traffic and it seems that Tango and Zulu have just about completed there mission

Ya, howed they do? Any thing new our are the Gamoris still just as stupid as ever?

Sir, well they are still seemingly stupid but apparantly they heard Tango and Zulu comming and where a bit prepared.

Really? Thats a first. What happened?

Sir, well from what i have overheard a squad was caught in a U shaped ambush layed by the Gamories.. It would have been a complete wipe out if the Gamories had modern weapons, but slug throwers and spears dont penatrate Combat Armor to well. Three of Tango's Infantry where hit in the gaps in there armor by slugs and 1 I believe bleed to death and the other 2 are gonna be in a med center for a few days. As for Zulu one guy just had crappy luck and fell into a open well and half drowned before his squad mates could pull him out.

Oh well thats why I guess where here to thin out the stupid ones from our ranks...Smart of Command to use this world as training and at the same time kill all the Gamoris so it can be populated.

Sir, yes seemingly, though its gonna take some time. Only 2 continents have had the Gamoreans removed and theres 7 more to go. Oh sir comm just reported that there is a Evac shuttle inbound from the Med Ship.

Well, I guess Tan.. " Endral stoped in mid sentence as the deafening scream of an inbound Evac shuttle came in. Being nothing more than a modified Lambada class shuttle with powerful engines to make the Evac class shuttle very fast and VERY loud and all weaponry removed except for a rearward ball laser turrent and a pair of fixed foreward firing lasers. Evacs where made to get the job done and nothing more Endral thought as the shuttle passed and he resumed what he was saying." Tango must be getting the those casualties picked up....

“Endrals comm man nodded saying nothing more and went silently back to work scanning Bravos Comm frequency and spying on the others for entertainment. Deciding to get a comm check on all his squads Endral got his comm and put it on the Bravos communication frequency and called off for a report. “ Squads Red, Yellow, Green, Orange, and White status check!”

“Red Squad here sir alls quiet in Wonder land!”

“Yellow Squad here sir everythings just... well... boring!”

“Green Squad here sir everythings A OK!”

“White Squad here sir not a damned thing happening”

Locking eyes with his comm man “ Where the hell is Orange squad....”

“ Sir, Don’t know sir”

“ DAMNIT!”

Picking up his comm agian “Orange Squad come in what is your status?”

Turning the volume all the way up Endral Listened “ Click, Click”

Endral suddenly knew what was happening Click, Click or the pressing of the comm send button twice ment the enemy to close to talk without giving up ones position. Putting down his comm and pulling out his map Endral looked at Oranges position.

“DAMN! those smart basterds! There taking the least expected exit area!”

Picking up his comm agian “Orange how many enemy are there 1 click for every 10 Gamori’s”

After a few seconds the Comm reply came back “ Click Click Click Click Click Click Click Click “

“Orange squad you all hold tight and stay quiet! White Squad new orders! Move up along the ridge line north of Oranges position and move south in a skrimish line ready to engage the Gamories. Red you move to Blue line Dog 3 and move east to flank the Gamori’s. This should be one hell of a slaughter! Orange Squad I’m gonna be patching you through to orbital fire support command. Use standard click code to give them the locations you want glassed and once your done Red and White will move in the help mop up.”


Chapter 2

It was all over in a few hours the Gamoreans were KIA and Bravo had 0% casualties. Sitting in the Officers mess on the Staging area orbiting Tralark 4 reviewing the training exercise that ended for Bravo only a few hours ago Commader Endral sat sipping what was known as Caf to many humans of the Galaxy.

“Bah this stuff taste like crap I wish they would hurry the hell up and program the food prep areas to prepare the stuff we used to get a home” Endral said out loud to some fellow Platoon Commaders. Commander Pargon nodded in agreement and Commander Targred looked as if he was preparing to go on one of his lectures about how the Gov’t should have minded there own business and forget about this Expansion business... Thinking to himself Endral decided to retreat back to his quarters before Targred began.

“ Well Excuse me ladys and gentlemen but I am gonna go get some shut eye and try to wash whatever Tralark grime didnt come off the first time!” Endral properly said his good days and went off to find his bunking area.
If I die in Vietnam.
Write a letter to my mom.
Tell her I died with a grin.
Putting smoke on Ho Chi Minh!

Im a sore loser, ok? We need to stop the Iraq and Korea shit and go re invade Vietnam and kick some commie ass!
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Jaris Merc
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Oh well

Post by Jaris Merc »

Yes there it is... Dang I hate being to lazy to fix my own typing errors.... oh well im sure you all can understand it!

Oh ya if any one would like to tell me any mistakes ive made other than typing mistakes I would be grateful... Im new at this and probly not to good.
If I die in Vietnam.
Write a letter to my mom.
Tell her I died with a grin.
Putting smoke on Ho Chi Minh!

Im a sore loser, ok? We need to stop the Iraq and Korea shit and go re invade Vietnam and kick some commie ass!
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Jaris Merc
Youngling
Posts: 57
Joined: 2003-04-28 07:38am
Location: BF Egypt
Contact:

Changes

Post by Jaris Merc »

I have made some improvements to the story and have just about finished the 2nd chapter... I will be reposting it under the name "Field Commander" once im up to chapter 3.
If I die in Vietnam.
Write a letter to my mom.
Tell her I died with a grin.
Putting smoke on Ho Chi Minh!

Im a sore loser, ok? We need to stop the Iraq and Korea shit and go re invade Vietnam and kick some commie ass!
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Grand Admiral Thrawn
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Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

LTs command platoons, not Commanders (actually, there is no commander rank).
"You know, I was God once."
"Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died."
Bender and God, Futurama
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Pablo Sanchez
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Post by Pablo Sanchez »

Grand Admiral Thrawn wrote:LTs command platoons, not Commanders (actually, there is no commander rank).
In SW, "Commander" appears to be a naval rank of some distinction (Jerjerrod being referred to several times as "Commander").
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Sea Skimmer
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Post by Sea Skimmer »

Commander is a title held by a commission officer in command of a unit, so Jerjerrod could be semi correctly referred to as commander. But it's not a rank in any system I've ever seen. If Sheppard/Dalton still has the Imperial source book up we could check it, though WEG isn't know for checking the movies.
"This cult of special forces is as sensible as to form a Royal Corps of Tree Climbers and say that no soldier who does not wear its green hat with a bunch of oak leaves stuck in it should be expected to climb a tree"
— Field Marshal William Slim 1956
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Grand Admiral Thrawn
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Post by Grand Admiral Thrawn »

Doh, I meant Commander was not an army rank.
"You know, I was God once."
"Yes, I saw. You were doing well, until everyone died."
Bender and God, Futurama
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Jaris Merc
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hmmm

Post by Jaris Merc »

oh well i guess since these are not really Imps i can screw with the rank system...
If I die in Vietnam.
Write a letter to my mom.
Tell her I died with a grin.
Putting smoke on Ho Chi Minh!

Im a sore loser, ok? We need to stop the Iraq and Korea shit and go re invade Vietnam and kick some commie ass!
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