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SW Fanfic - Derek
Posted: 2002-09-12 11:46am
by Kelly Antilles
I got this brilliant idea one day about how Derek "Hobbie" Klivian got his nickname. So, I wrote it into a fic.
http://www.angelfire.com/hi4/kantilles/Derek.html
it's kinda long, so I just linked to my website. Let me know what you think. I have quite a few more I'd like to post here and get feedback on.
Posted: 2002-09-13 10:20pm
by Jack Lain
You know what, that was really good. You need to work on the way you handle dialogue. But over all that was a good read. Congrats man. Your character depth is nice and well done.
PM me and I'll explain about the dialogue part.
Overall well worth the time I spent reading. Nice job. Thumbs up from me.
Re: SW Fanfic - Derek
Posted: 2002-09-20 10:31am
by Eleas
Kelly Antilles wrote:I got this brilliant idea one day about how Derek "Hobbie" Klivian got his nickname. So, I wrote it into a fic.
http://www.angelfire.com/hi4/kantilles/Derek.html
it's kinda long, so I just linked to my website. Let me know what you think. I have quite a few more I'd like to post here and get feedback on.
You know, I meant to comment on this story earlier. Very enjoyable, it was.
Posted: 2002-09-26 07:30pm
by Kuja
Damn. That's incredible!
Posted: 2002-09-26 07:53pm
by Dalton
Rough around the edges, but this should be expected from an off-the-cuff fic. You have a real talent for portraying emotions, but I think you should work on your descriptiveness and exposition a little; the first segment seemed almost disjointed from the story. All in all, enjoyable