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Excerpt from a Silmarillion fic

Posted: 2003-06-18 03:34am
by Bug-Eyed Earl
This is a bit from a work-in-progress fic that I've been working on.

For all of the ages past that had borne fruitless victories, the end of the Siege of Angband, known ever after by the Dagor Bragollach, was a most grievous wound against the pride of the Noldor. For it to rage for centuries and to end in the overwhelming defeat that it had was almost unbearable. The hand of the Dark Lord had grown long, and now it was a fist raised in the air in a gesture of boastful triumph.

The plains of Ard-Galen were scorched into a desert dotted with the charred bones of the elves who had spent years upon years trying to break Angband and bring about the final end of the Dark Lord. But in a burst of power, Angband released it's fury, spewing flames all over the once lush countryside. Those that did not come from the Iron Hell came from the bellies of Morgoth's dragons, led by Glaurung, the greatest of that kind.

And Fingolfin knew that when he stepped foot upon Ard-Galen, now to be known as Anfauglith, he was getting close.

He knew he rode to his doom, but his wrath drained all of the fear out of him. As he rode, he could think of nothing more than the thousands of years of shame wrought upon the Noldor by this ceaseless war. His kind had made their share of mistakes,


"Hear me, Accursed! Your true name I refuse to utter, but its meaning to the Valar is 'He Who Arises in Might.' You forsook the name Eru bestowed upon you when you made war on your own kind and all of their creations. Did you forsake the meaning as well? Where is the supposed might you wield? You seem to only send forth your creations to do battle with the Eldar and Edain. I think you fear to fight in single combat. Will Morgoth's cowardice grow to overshadow his cruelty?"



"Does this insect crave a slow death? Does he actually believe he can pose a challenge to me in battle?"

"It matters not to him, my lord," said Sauron. "His ire has risen. This is a great opportunity, given his title."

"Yes, I suppose. The High King of the Noldor challenging the one known as the Dark Lord in single combat. If his foolish kin believe he can actually defeat me, I imagine that they will write a song of it."

"Well, we shall sing of how I broke him in two and fed his bones to the ravens."

He turned slowly to the wall above his throne. Held on a rack made of human and elven bones, displayed for all to see as a symbol of his power, was Grond, the hammer of the underworld.




If you're a Silm fan, you know how this turns out. The battle I plan to write completely dialogue free as an homage ot the final action sequence in "The Last of the Mohicans." Hope this gets you interested in reading the rest of it.

Posted: 2003-06-18 03:41am
by CaptainChewbacca
Why would you write a battle if one was already written?

I mean, sure, I'd like to see a battle against the evil one, but its already been written.

Good show with the Tolkien style, by the way.

Posted: 2003-06-18 03:45am
by Bug-Eyed Earl
CaptainChewbacca wrote:Why would you write a battle if one was already written?

I mean, sure, I'd like to see a battle against the evil one, but its already been written.

Good show with the Tolkien style, by the way.
Well, Last of the Mohicans is again a big influence. The hopelessness of Fingolfin's battle against Morgoth evokes a similar feeling in me as the final scene in that movie, and I wanted to write a blow-by blow account of that to try to get others to feel the same thing.

Plus I always wanted to flesh out the battle anyway.

Posted: 2003-06-18 08:15pm
by Stormbringer
Your dialogue is too short and simplistic to fit with Tolkien's. And Morogoth would not sound like that. Both he and Sauron were long winded, grandiose fellows.



Plus it's in one of the volumes of History of Middle Earth if I'm not mistaken

And Glaurung was not the greatest of the Dragons. That falls to Anaclon the Black. Hell, Smaug is meaner and tougher than Glaurung. Big G's claim to fame is he's the father of all dragons.

Posted: 2003-06-19 01:59am
by Bug-Eyed Earl
Stormbringer wrote:Your dialogue is too short and simplistic to fit with Tolkien's. And Morogoth would not sound like that. Both he and Sauron were long winded, grandiose fellows.
Dhort in simple in a bad way or short and simple in a way that doesn't suit these characters?
Plus it's in one of the volumes of History of Middle Earth if I'm not mistaken

And Glaurung was not the greatest of the Dragons. That falls to Anaclon the Black. Hell, Smaug is meaner and tougher than Glaurung. Big G's claim to fame is he's the father of all dragons.
ARGH! I knew that. I love Ancalgon the Black. I should be the last one to make that mistake. Well, it will be fixed.

Posted: 2003-06-19 02:53pm
by Jaris Merc
The Hobbit shall reign over all Toliens books!

We are all entittled to are highly biased opinions!

Posted: 2003-06-19 11:27pm
by Stormbringer
Dhort in simple in a bad way or short and simple in a way that doesn't suit these characters?
It's not necessarily bad but it is too simple and short for the characters. I know Tolkien skimped on the actual dialogue but the whole thing is far to short and simple. The basis is good but it needs to be expanded more.
ARGH! I knew that. I love Ancalgon the Black. I should be the last one to make that mistake. Well, it will be fixed.
Good, or the precious will be angry.

Posted: 2003-06-20 03:30am
by Bug-Eyed Earl
Come to think of it, skimping on dialogue goes against what I was trying to accomplish.

Posted: 2003-06-20 10:03pm
by Stormbringer
Bug-Eyed Earl wrote:Come to think of it, skimping on dialogue goes against what I was trying to accomplish.
I look forward to seeing what you write.